Don Draper vs. The Terminator. Or Possibly Kim Cattrall.

February 29, 2012


AMC, purveyors of some pretty great TV shows, have just released the promotional poster for season 5 of Mad Men, like a plate of bacon before the over-analytical dogs that are the show’s fans.

Um, that analogy might need some work.

Anyway, producer Matthew Weiner says that the poster is, “a nonverbal representation of where my head is at and where the show will be. By the end of the season, I guarantee you’ll know what it is about.”  You guarantee, Mr. Weiner?  I will have you know that I am incredibly stupid, sir, and I resent your implication.  I have no concept of meaning or subtext.  I still believe that The Sopranos ended with the family going to sing Journey songs on karaoke night.

Okay, not really, but I just tend to get reactionary about people making assumptions about me.

Also, AMC marketing VP Linda Schupack, adds that it suggests “Don Draper’s ongoing struggle to define who he is to himself and to those around him” which sounds interesting.   Anyway, here’s the poster:

My theories on its meaning:

Looking at the reflection, possibly Don Draper will become a ghost and go around trying to help people, hopefully being hilarious, ala Beetlejuice, and – since he’s Don Draper – probably sleeping with a lot of female ghosts.

It could also be that season 5 is a re-working of the classic 1987 comedy Mannequin (or possibly Mannequin 2: On The Move, though that seems less likely), which I don’t think many fans would see coming.  This is, of course, contingent on Andrew McCarthy and Kim Catrall being available.

Possibility 3: that tan mannequin with the beige blob at its feet is actually a T-1000 Terminator (you never know – they might come in beige), and season 5 of Mad Men is going in some CRAZY new directions.

Don Draper is going to quit his job and become a “living statue” for hire.  That or a window dresser.  Or both.

Season 5 is all about pajamas, pajamas, pajamas!

That’s what I’ve got at this point.  Theories?

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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36 Comments on “Don Draper vs. The Terminator. Or Possibly Kim Cattrall.”

  1. 1pointperspective Says:

    Don Draper’s reflection is an analogy for looking into his immediate past. The world of 1950’s New York is going away this season, to be replaced by 1960’s New York. His reflection is but a memory of what it was like to wear a suit to work. The naked mannequins reflect the discarding of the standard business attire in favor of hippy garments which smell of Patchouli. tWithin a few episodes, the entire cast will be wearing dhashiki’s, Nehru jackets and dungarees. The cigarettes and high-balls replaced by incense and badly rolled joints.

    The season finale will likely involve the whole gang dropping acid while they listen to The Jefferson Airplane. The otherwise mellow, good trip will be thrown into turmoil when Christina Hendricks shows up, bra-less, with her new boyfriend, a Negro named Blaque Powuh, from Chicago.

    Or maybe, you’re right and it’s a terminator thing.


  2. reppelmann Says:

    I prefer the ghost theory. ESPECIALLY if it can go partially “Scrooged” and that woman who played Ghost of Christmas Present – Carol Kane – can be his new post-human secretary. Or wife. Or… something. He’ll be put in his place. It will be awesome.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I would give anything for the season premiere to be a chain-clad spirit telling Draper to change his ways, and that he’s going to be visited by 3 ghosts, just to witness the reactions of fans.


      • reppelmann Says:

        Especially if the spirit can be the Jewish woman who ran the department store from season 1. Actually… I might be turning this into Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and no one wants that. No one.


  3. cristycarringtonlewis Says:

    Either Don Draper is considering a sex change – hence his focus on the naked female form – and likes the mannequin’s boob size and shape. Or, he admires the Hefner-esque quality of the mannequin in the chair, hanging out in his smoking pajamas accompanied by a naked woman, and will be starting the next Playboy Magazine.


  4. susielindau Says:

    My guess is since there is the “classic” reflection in the window, Don has a split personality disorder problem by the end of the season and finds himself working at Macy’s.


  5. Life in the Boomer Lane Says:

    The man is dressed. The woman is nude. This is a statement about society’s ongoing manifestation of the objectification and subserviance of women, as “reflected” in the ingrained belief system of a successful, “modern” male. Of course, the fact that Draper appears to be looking back at himself at the same time, defines the inner conversation males have about said objectification. This mostly consists of “Wow, did you see the tits on that babe?”


  6. sj Says:

    Ugh, why didn’t they just stick to the poster that was being protested as a reminder of 9/11? I liked that one better.


  7. BrainRants Says:

    You should have put a Christina Hendricks picture… mmmm….


  8. Jackie Cangro Says:

    The posters on the NYC subway are different. They just have a picture of the falling man from the opening sequence. Each one has a different word. Jealousy. Greed. Lust. That simplifies things.


  9. WSW Says:

    I’m just hoping Betty Draper reprises the scene in Season 1 where she shoots the neighbor’s pigeons while dressed in a white negligee and with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her mouth. Maybe the implication is that she’ll shoot Don (or Hugh Hefner) while standing naked in a puddle of her own flesh. Yup, I’m sure of it.

    Just in case you haven’t seen it in a while. Great moments in TV.



  10. tomwisk Says:

    Can’t wait for Don’s return. Back to gratuitous smoking and drinking and chasing women. He’d be a hero for any red-blooded boy who grew up the same time I did. Come to think about it, I kinda wish I could be him now. Thanks for the laughs.


  11. becomingcliche Says:

    Maybe this is the year that he will actually BE mad. Over women’s rights. Nekkid mannequins in storefronts really set the women’s movement back.


  12. alleybeth Says:

    I don’t watch Mad Men, but I’m liking possibility 3.

    Then again, maybe they are taking the show in the direction of the Twilight Zone and we’re about to find out that Draper is actually a mannequin and he has been selfishly taking advantage of his time out in the real world, while his mannequin friends languish in an abandoned department store collecting dust.


  13. thesinglecell Says:

    Don, unable to understand his own identity or what is real, resorts to blow-up dolls and mannequins instead of women to satisfy his carnal desires, while falling from status and success into a Hefneresque mockery of himself, lounging around in old, fraying, once-expensive looking pajamas and reflecting on the man he used to be. Eventually this drives him mad and he begins talking to mannequins in public, wearing a fedora and a woman’s marabou-trimmed robe.


  14. The Good Greatsby Says:

    Is it possible Don Draper was a ghost this whole time like in The Sixth Sense? Or is he really just a boy with the ability to see mannequins everywhere he looks just like in The Sixth Sense?


  15. Reich Werden Says:

    That’s impossible!Maybe this is the year that he will actually BE mad. Over women’s rights.


  16. Curly Carly Says:

    Oh, now I really can’t wait for season 5. Perhaps Don gets into the up-and-coming adult film industry (I have no idea when this became up-and-coming).


  17. happykidshappymom Says:

    I like your sense of humor. This line was great, “I will have you know that I am incredibly stupid, sir, and I resent your implication. I have no concept of meaning or subtext.” I’ll have to remember that one the next time someone tries to have an existential conversation with me (which why that happens I’ll never know, maybe because I know a lot of teachers and lawyers). By the first mention of The Art of War I’m twitching.


  18. Stacie Chadwick Says:

    My theory? Who cares what the poster depicts. He’s Don fucking Draper, and if Matthew Weiner (if it’s the same Matthew Weiner who was a bouncer at Ozzie’s when I was a freshman in college…I owe you a ginormous thank you for getting my fake ID back, like 37 times) wants to get all existential this season? So be it.

    I DO like spooky, funnyish things though, so that’d be kind of cool. Unless Betty becomes a ghost. She scares me.


  19. Blogdramedy Says:

    All wrong. I think he just likes that robe.


  20. jmnartsy Says:

    We’re still seeing repeats of the last season. 1950’s America was so cliché it’s amusing! And I love the production value and clothes. As to what it all means, hey who gives a f*k, I certainly don’t; I just enjoy the ‘moment’ of each episode and often have fits of laughter that have me crying….considering I knew some, Australian ones that is, who were nothing like those in this series. The poster? He’s a man torn between two loves, women and work. But, just maybe in the new series, that is in the past and he becomes an upgraded and New Age Renaissance Man in keeping with the ’60s…all in Capital letters, please!! :oD


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