International “Cute, Huggable Creatures Who Could Easily Kill You” Day

February 27, 2012

Humor

It’s International Polar Bear Day.  I don’t know what that means, but I don’t care, because, Polar Bears!

To celebrate, let’s review some pictures of polar bears, and some fun facts.

Fun fact 1: If you eat a polar bear’s liver, your skin will fall off. This is because of the amount of vitamin A  stored in their livers.  This fun fact comes to us courtesy of a couple of arctic explorers who were starving to death, and killed a polar bear, and thought they were saved until they ate the liver and irony kicked in.
Fun fact 2: Polar Bears can smell things up to a mile away, and under 3 feet of snow.

Hm, smells liiiiike.... smells like arctic explorers wishing they'd brought more energy bars... or at least decided not to eat the liver first.

Not Very Fun Fact 3: Global population of polar bears is down to about 20,000.

Fun Fact 4:  Doing a Google Image search for “Polar Bear Cubs” would have Stalin cooing “Oh, wook at de iddle cutie!” after a few minutes.

So cuuuuuuuute.

Also pretty damn cute, but in a couple years, this would be a veeerrry different picture.

Fun fact 5: Polar bear fur is not white, it’s clear, and hollow.  They fur is so effective that they are more likely to overheat than to freeze.

Come on in! The water's fine!

Fun Fact 6: I really think polar bears would like me if they got to know me.

I will be your friend.

Fun fact 7: Adult males polar bears get to be about 10 feet tall, and weigh 1400 pounds.  They can kill most animals with a single blow.

Fun Fact 8: Cuuuuuute.

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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45 Comments on “International “Cute, Huggable Creatures Who Could Easily Kill You” Day”

  1. tomwisk Says:

    Polar bears are perfect. They blend into their environment and keep those pesky seals in line. Too bad we’re screwing up their turf.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      We’re their only predator. Like sharks, who are also perfect. Basically, we’re petty, jealous jerks. I would like to see the movie Rise of the Planet of the Bears and Sharks get made.

      Reply

  2. MJ, Nonstepmom Says:

    I agree, even the most hardened dictator would not be able to resist those cute little noses. Perhaps that might be a way to lure in evil -doers to their undoing – send in a pack of bears…

    Reply

  3. susielindau Says:

    Dang Vitamin A! I hate it when my face falls off………
    Thanks for the Monday bear facts. So cute!

    Reply

  4. becomingcliche Says:

    Their front paws are the size of a dinner plate. I have never understood the idiots that scale a zoo fence to pet one. Natural selection at work?

    Reply

  5. sj Says:

    Fun Fact #6 is my favourite.

    Another Fun Fact: Polar Bears walk like humans, with the heels of their feet touching the ground first.

    Reply

  6. madtante Says:

    I could take that little bastard in the last photo. Did you see him sticking his tongue out at us? What a JERK!

    Reply

  7. Audrey Says:

    They’re so cute!! Happy Polar Bear Day!

    Reply

  8. Life in the Boomer Lane Says:

    Cats fit that description also.

    Reply

  9. Elyse Says:

    I think the faces of those explorers fell off because they had to eat liver. Ewwwww.

    Happy Polar Bear Day!

    Reply

  10. BrainRants Says:

    I have a cat like this.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Have you ever seen pictures of that cat who lives with the bear in the Berlin zoo? One day this cat just showed up in the bear cage. They share food and everything. I love it, because in the photos the cat just looks totally at ease, like “Hey, he’s a big fearsome predator. I’m a big, fearsome predator. What’s the big surprise?”

      Reply

  11. Shannon Pruitt from 'Mynewfavoriteday' Says:

    I think the Polar Bears would probably like you if they met you and THANK YOU for the tidbit about eating the liver that will come in super handy on my next North Pole trek as I will know immediately if any of my fellow explorers have fed me Polar Bear liver as a joke…I guess the joke would be on them with my skin falling off an all:)

    Reply

  12. Mands Says:

    I love the bears, thanks!

    Reply

  13. edrevets Says:

    I WANNA HUG ONE: BIG POLAR BEAR HUG HUG!

    Reply

  14. Rocket Says:

    I thought I’d see something about Klondike bars in here for some reason.

    I love random facts, thanks! :]

    Reply

  15. Casey Marriott Says:

    Ahhhh if only they didn’t grow up….
    Cute.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Yeah, but even images of adult polar bears playing with tires and such are pretty adorable. Pictures of them bludgeoning a seal or fighting other bears or collapsing from exhaustion after swimming too far because there’s no ice… not so much.

      Reply

  16. joehoover Says:

    They really are the cutest animals that could kill you, Crocodiles should take a leaf out of their book

    Reply

  17. PCC Advantage Says:

    Fun fact #9: Polar bears prefer Coke over Pepsi.

    Reply

  18. Lenore Diane Says:

    Informative and entertaining. (‘dose cute wittle polar-wolar bears)

    Reply

  19. Blogdramedy Says:

    Now I know how some bloggers get so many comments. Cute photos. Am I dense or what? I’m off to google search immediately.

    Of course, my idea of cute…maybe not such a good idea. Suggestions?

    Reply

  20. gojulesgo Says:

    hee hee hee I think they would like you, too.

    And I’m REALLY glad I don’t like liver.

    Reply

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