For this week’s Weekly Question of the Week, I wanted to do something in honor of The Simpsons’ 500th episode. Because regardless of whether or not you’re a fan, regardless of whether or not you think the show should still be running – 500 hundred episodes of a TV show is a pretty amazing accomplishment.
The problem occurred in trying to determine what to do. Every time I tried to zero in on a particular theme – favorite episodes, favorite quotes, etc. – there was this log jam of ideas in my brain. I couldn’t possibly sort through them, in constant terror of forgetting something. Also, there was this overload of joy that caused me to cease full function (not unlike Homer when he discovered a free trampoline in the classified ads, screaming ‘Tramampoline! Trabopoline!” before sprinting to the car.
Do I zero in on something more specific like favorite advice Homer has given the kids? (Maybe “If you hate your job, you don’t quit. You go in there every day and do it really half-assed! That’s the American way!” or “Son, a woman is like a refrigerator. They’re about 300 pound, they make ice… Oh, I know! A woman is like a beer! They look good, they smell good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one. But you can’t stop at just one, you have to drink another woman! [transitions to a dozen beers later] So I said, ‘if you want your money, come and get it, ‘cause I don’t know where it is, ya’ baloney… you make me wanna wretch!’” [passes out])
Do I focus in on something really specific, like favorite Halloween episodes? (Season 6 – featuring the parody of The Shining, Homer repeatedly travelling back through time, and the school serving the children as lunch in the cafeteria)
Favorite episode? (Can’t be done. Possibly “Bart and the Babysitter” or “Homer Bad Man,” when Homer is accused of sexual harassment)
Favorite lines by each character? (Lionel Hutz, attorney: “Homer, the law prohibits me from promising you a big cash settlement. But just between you and me: I promise you a big cash settlement.”)
Favorite moments of each character? (Lisa getting braces when they didn’t have insurance. Dentist: “These pre-date stainless steel, so you can’t get them wet.”)
You see the predicament I’m in.
So instead, for today, I offer a more blanket celebration of one of television greatest series: This week’s Weekly Questions of the Week is simply: What is one of your favorite Simpsons moments or quotes or characters? (and if you don’t like The Simpsons, what, you don’t like funny?)
The Byronic Man 
February 19, 2012 at 9:41 am
ONLY ONE?! You’re crazy, man.
[sigh]
Is it Daddy’s Soul Doughnut from Treehouse of Horror IV?
Do I go with Otto’s talking shoes (scene no longer showed in syndication) from Homerpalooza? Or Sonic Youth’s cover of the theme song from that same episode?
“Smell you later” replacing “good bye” in Bart to the Future?
Maybe Linguo opening his eyes to correct Homer’s grammar one last time in Trilogy of Error?
“Uh, no…they’re saying ‘BOO-URNS! BOO-URNS!’ ” – A Star is Burns
Lisa the Vegetarian – When Lisa offers gazpacho to everyone, telling them that now they don’t have to eat meat and Barney yells “go back to Russia!” Or, from the same episode, Homer chasing the pig, “It’s just a little airborne! It’s still good! It’s still good!”
Um…I have roughly a billion more. I could go on, but I won’t.
February 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I’ve actually decided, as a result of this, to start a recurrent series on Simpsons quotes and moments. I figure that will delight a handful of readers, and only alienate & bore a couple hundred.
February 19, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Fanfreakingtastic!
February 19, 2012 at 9:51 am
Well, the Simpsons is part of our “long-term marriage lexicon,” in regards to gifts, because when we talk about gifts to give each other, we say, “Well, if you don’t want a bowling ball…” (referring to the episode in which Homer gives his wife a bowling ball as a gift, knowing she won’t wan it so he’ll get to keep it, so out of spite she takes bowling lessons with a hot instructor). But we can no longer watch the Simposons, because we do have our son write lots of sentences as a consequence, and we don’t ever want him to see the episodes where Bart writes sentences. 500 episodes, wow. Thanks, http://www.StraightNoChaserMom.com
February 19, 2012 at 12:29 pm
You don’t want your son filling pages with “Cursive writing doesn’t mean what I think it does” or “Indian Burns are not our cultural heritage”? Weird.
February 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm
You made me laugh out loud with the second one!
February 19, 2012 at 9:58 am
Too many to list but one of my faves has been on today:
Marge to Lisa: So, did you call any of your friends?
Lisa: Friends? These are my only friends. Grownup nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will.
Marge: Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.
February 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm
I love Lisa’s intellectual loneliness, and Marge’s naive sincerity in trying to support her. It manages to be sweet and hilarious.
Marge: Look at all this beautiful foilage.
Lisa: It’s pronounced “Foliage.” “Foliage.”
Marge: I know how to say it. You don’t have to be a nucular scientist to pronounce “foilage.”
and then…
Marge: You were right! It’s “foliage”! That’s Lisa, our little, walking libary.
February 19, 2012 at 10:16 am
I had no idea this had been on so long. Wow.
February 19, 2012 at 12:19 pm
That’s because after the first nine seasons they start blurring together. Also because we’re incredibly old.
February 19, 2012 at 11:08 am
My favorite part was Eli Lewis imitating Willy the Groundskeeper at the Cedar Hills Pub.
February 19, 2012 at 12:15 pm
“Git oot of the whey, ye hoorse’s arse!”
February 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Eli was so good at it, you couldn’t understand a word he was was saying….
February 19, 2012 at 11:13 am
“MONORAIL! D’oh!”
February 19, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Also a contender for greatest episode ever, and for collection of great lines.
“I call the big one Bitey.”
Mayor Quimby: “May the force be with you”
Leonard Nimoy:”Do you even know who I am?”
Mayor Quimby: “I believe so. Weren’t you one of the Little Rascals?”
Marge: Homer! I’ve got someone here to help you!
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman is a scientist.
Marge: IT’S NOT BATMAN!
February 19, 2012 at 11:36 am
This … and to this day, Rob and I will say, “I said ‘Ha ha!'”
February 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm
“Hey, Nelson, I think he’s really hurt…”
I don’t even have to click the link to know the moment you’re referring to. I love that episode, and that scene.
February 19, 2012 at 12:29 pm
Is maggie (the baby) still the smart one of the family ?
I only watched Bart until I discovered a motley crew of kids in the blissful town of South Park; where no one outside of South Park is safe from ridicule and mockery of a magnitude never seen before….. a thing of beauty !
February 19, 2012 at 12:31 pm
I would say that South Park never achieved the level of craftsmanship and writing that Simpsons did, but when South Park is “on,” their satire is really, really impressive. Virtually unparalleled for a TV show.
February 19, 2012 at 12:41 pm
& the Simpsons did open that can of worms, have to give credit !
February 19, 2012 at 12:45 pm
The first two that came to mind were 1) the dental plan scene, where Homer is thinking intently and he can hear Marge saying “Lisa needs braces!” and then he hears his co-worker say, “DENTAL PLAN!” and these two thoughts go back and forth in that emtpy head of his…makes me laugh so hard I cry. 2) when Homer is working several jobs so he can buy Lisa a pony. He lays down to sleep after his first shirt for two seconds, then his alarm goes off again and he gets right back up to go to work.
There are way too many to choose from, one of my all time favorite shows!
February 19, 2012 at 12:46 pm
uh…yeah about the word ‘shirt’ I meant ‘shift’. haha!
February 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I also love that in that episode, the union gives up their dental plan in exchange for a keg of beer at the union meetings.
February 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Alright. So, “The Simpsons” is not my favorite. I know it’s a lot smarter than it seems, but it just tends to annoy me and I harken back to when it first went on the air (yes, I remember) and I was forced to watch it against my will and therefore blocked a lot of stuff out. HOWEVER. I have incorporated Bart’s mocking laugh “heehnh heehnh” in my regular life, and I had a boyfriend who cracked himself up reminiscing about the “Gym? What’s a gym?” epsiode, so now I pronounce that word “gime” every time I see it. Like, totally unintentionally.
Also, the governor of Indiana looks not a little bit like Mr. Burns. (No, I don’t live in Indiana.)
February 20, 2012 at 8:10 am
I’d say that there’s about a 0.001% chance that “you look like Mr. Burns” could be construed as a positive thing.
February 19, 2012 at 7:43 pm
This one is easy for me. Best episode ever is Homer the Great – the one where Homer joins the Stonecutters. So many classic lines and scenes, not to mention the Stonecutters’ song. “Who makes Steve Gutennburg a star?”. Cracks me up without fail.
February 20, 2012 at 8:09 am
I love the initiation process, with all the cryptic names, each of which is simply getting paddled. And then the finale: “The Paddling of the Swollen Ass, With Paddles.”
February 20, 2012 at 4:45 am
I’m not qualified to comment on this post. I’ve never watched a single episode of The Simpsons.
Doh. Now if someone had told me the show was all about donuts…well then, my entire life would have turned out different. 🙂
February 20, 2012 at 8:08 am
NEVER?? That’s actually kind of an accomplishment, in a way.
February 20, 2012 at 7:31 am
I was totally obsessed with the Simpsons as a kid, but I have to be honest that I don’t watch it anymore! Probably because I thought I had to stop when I got to a thousand shows a week.
Bart was always my favorite, without a doubt. I definitely had the “Don’t have a cow, man” t-shirt. And I also love how they change the opening all the time.
Do you watch Family Guy? That makes me giggle the way The Simpsons did/does.
February 20, 2012 at 8:13 am
I go in fits with Family Guy. I’ll like it a lot for a while, and then suddenly just think, “This is stupid and crass and they drag the jokes out too long.” And then I’m DONE. Then a few months later I get in to it again.
February 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Definitely when Marge is writing her romance novel. “Swim, swim, swim, thought the whale, flapping his…flappers. Brownie break!”