500 Days of Simpsons

February 19, 2012


For this week’s Weekly Question of the Week, I wanted to do something in honor of The Simpsons’ 500th episode.  Because regardless of whether or not you’re a fan, regardless of whether or not you think the show should still be running – 500 hundred episodes of a TV show is a pretty amazing accomplishment.

The problem occurred in trying to determine what to do.  Every time I tried to zero in on a particular theme – favorite episodes, favorite quotes, etc. – there was this log jam of ideas in my brain. I couldn’t possibly sort through them, in constant terror of forgetting something. Also, there was this overload of joy that caused me to cease full function (not unlike Homer when he discovered a free trampoline in the classified ads, screaming ‘Tramampoline!  Trabopoline!” before sprinting to the car.

Do I zero in on something more specific like favorite advice Homer has given the kids? (Maybe “If you hate your job, you don’t quit.  You go in there every day and do it really half-assed!  That’s the American way!” or “Son, a woman is like a refrigerator.  They’re about 300 pound, they make ice… Oh, I know!  A woman is like a beer!  They look good, they smell good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one.  But you can’t stop at just one, you have to drink another woman! [transitions to a dozen beers later] So I said, ‘if you want your money, come and get it, ‘cause I don’t know where it is, ya’ baloney… you make me wanna wretch!’” [passes out])

Do I focus in on something really specific, like favorite Halloween episodes? (Season 6 – featuring the parody of The Shining, Homer repeatedly travelling back through time, and the school serving the children as lunch in the cafeteria)

Favorite episode?  (Can’t be done.  Possibly “Bart and the Babysitter” or “Homer Bad Man,” when Homer is accused of sexual harassment)

Favorite lines by each character? (Lionel Hutz, attorney: “Homer, the law prohibits me from promising you a big cash settlement.  But just between you and me: I promise you a big cash settlement.”)

Favorite moments of each character? (Lisa getting braces when they didn’t have insurance.  Dentist: “These pre-date stainless steel, so you can’t get them wet.”)

You see the predicament I’m in.

So instead, for today, I offer a more blanket celebration of one of television greatest series: This week’s Weekly Questions of the Week is simply: What is one of your favorite Simpsons moments or quotes or characters? (and if you don’t like The Simpsons, what, you don’t like funny?)

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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33 Comments on “500 Days of Simpsons”

  1. booksnob Says:

    ONLY ONE?! You’re crazy, man.


    Is it Daddy’s Soul Doughnut from Treehouse of Horror IV?

    Do I go with Otto’s talking shoes (scene no longer showed in syndication) from Homerpalooza? Or Sonic Youth’s cover of the theme song from that same episode?

    “Smell you later” replacing “good bye” in Bart to the Future?

    Maybe Linguo opening his eyes to correct Homer’s grammar one last time in Trilogy of Error?

    “Uh, no…they’re saying ‘BOO-URNS! BOO-URNS!’ ” – A Star is Burns

    Lisa the Vegetarian – When Lisa offers gazpacho to everyone, telling them that now they don’t have to eat meat and Barney yells “go back to Russia!” Or, from the same episode, Homer chasing the pig, “It’s just a little airborne! It’s still good! It’s still good!”

    Um…I have roughly a billion more. I could go on, but I won’t.


  2. Jennifer D. Munro Says:

    Well, the Simpsons is part of our “long-term marriage lexicon,” in regards to gifts, because when we talk about gifts to give each other, we say, “Well, if you don’t want a bowling ball…” (referring to the episode in which Homer gives his wife a bowling ball as a gift, knowing she won’t wan it so he’ll get to keep it, so out of spite she takes bowling lessons with a hot instructor). But we can no longer watch the Simposons, because we do have our son write lots of sentences as a consequence, and we don’t ever want him to see the episodes where Bart writes sentences. 500 episodes, wow. Thanks, http://www.StraightNoChaserMom.com


  3. joehoover Says:

    Too many to list but one of my faves has been on today:

    Marge to Lisa: So, did you call any of your friends?

    Lisa: Friends? These are my only friends. Grownup nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will.

    Marge: Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I love Lisa’s intellectual loneliness, and Marge’s naive sincerity in trying to support her. It manages to be sweet and hilarious.
      Marge: Look at all this beautiful foilage.
      Lisa: It’s pronounced “Foliage.” “Foliage.”
      Marge: I know how to say it. You don’t have to be a nucular scientist to pronounce “foilage.”
      and then…
      Marge: You were right! It’s “foliage”! That’s Lisa, our little, walking libary.


  4. BrainRants Says:

    I had no idea this had been on so long. Wow.


  5. Jamie Says:

    My favorite part was Eli Lewis imitating Willy the Groundskeeper at the Cedar Hills Pub.


  6. H.E. ELLIS Says:

    “MONORAIL! D’oh!”


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Also a contender for greatest episode ever, and for collection of great lines.

      “I call the big one Bitey.”

      Mayor Quimby: “May the force be with you”
      Leonard Nimoy:”Do you even know who I am?”
      Mayor Quimby: “I believe so. Weren’t you one of the Little Rascals?”

      Marge: Homer! I’ve got someone here to help you!
      Homer: Is it Batman?
      Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
      Homer: Batman is a scientist.
      Marge: IT’S NOT BATMAN!


  7. Lenore Diane Says:

    This … and to this day, Rob and I will say, “I said ‘Ha ha!'”


  8. MJ, Nonstepmom Says:

    Is maggie (the baby) still the smart one of the family ?

    I only watched Bart until I discovered a motley crew of kids in the blissful town of South Park; where no one outside of South Park is safe from ridicule and mockery of a magnitude never seen before….. a thing of beauty !


  9. She's a Maineiac Says:

    The first two that came to mind were 1) the dental plan scene, where Homer is thinking intently and he can hear Marge saying “Lisa needs braces!” and then he hears his co-worker say, “DENTAL PLAN!” and these two thoughts go back and forth in that emtpy head of his…makes me laugh so hard I cry. 2) when Homer is working several jobs so he can buy Lisa a pony. He lays down to sleep after his first shirt for two seconds, then his alarm goes off again and he gets right back up to go to work.

    There are way too many to choose from, one of my all time favorite shows!


  10. thesinglecell Says:

    Alright. So, “The Simpsons” is not my favorite. I know it’s a lot smarter than it seems, but it just tends to annoy me and I harken back to when it first went on the air (yes, I remember) and I was forced to watch it against my will and therefore blocked a lot of stuff out. HOWEVER. I have incorporated Bart’s mocking laugh “heehnh heehnh” in my regular life, and I had a boyfriend who cracked himself up reminiscing about the “Gym? What’s a gym?” epsiode, so now I pronounce that word “gime” every time I see it. Like, totally unintentionally.

    Also, the governor of Indiana looks not a little bit like Mr. Burns. (No, I don’t live in Indiana.)


  11. secretlyhardcore Says:

    This one is easy for me. Best episode ever is Homer the Great – the one where Homer joins the Stonecutters. So many classic lines and scenes, not to mention the Stonecutters’ song. “Who makes Steve Gutennburg a star?”. Cracks me up without fail.


  12. Blogdramedy Says:

    I’m not qualified to comment on this post. I’ve never watched a single episode of The Simpsons.

    Doh. Now if someone had told me the show was all about donuts…well then, my entire life would have turned out different. 🙂


  13. gojulesgo Says:

    I was totally obsessed with the Simpsons as a kid, but I have to be honest that I don’t watch it anymore! Probably because I thought I had to stop when I got to a thousand shows a week.

    Bart was always my favorite, without a doubt. I definitely had the “Don’t have a cow, man” t-shirt. And I also love how they change the opening all the time.

    Do you watch Family Guy? That makes me giggle the way The Simpsons did/does.


    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I go in fits with Family Guy. I’ll like it a lot for a while, and then suddenly just think, “This is stupid and crass and they drag the jokes out too long.” And then I’m DONE. Then a few months later I get in to it again.


  14. cassiebehle Says:

    Definitely when Marge is writing her romance novel. “Swim, swim, swim, thought the whale, flapping his…flappers. Brownie break!”



  1. Reading Digest: Still Digesting Edition « Dead Homer Society - February 24, 2012

    […] 500 Days of Simpsons – Our friend The Byronic Man lists a bunch of old favorites and asks his readers for their suggestions.  As you’d imagine, Zombie Simpsons is thin to non-existent amid all the hilarity. […]

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