Oh, Glorious Day of The 25th Hour!

November 7, 2011

Humor

I LOVE CLOCK-CHANGE DAY SO MUCH.  Well, in the fall.  In the Spring I hate it like I hate hell.  It’s totally irrational of me, but I spend the entire day giddy, like I’ve been granted this unbelievable gift.  Like I’ve pulled one over on the world.  On time itself.  “Oh, I’ve got a lot to do today, and it’s already 11:30.  But it’s not! It’s 10:30!  Hahahahaha!  Gotcha, Time!  What are you gonna do about it?  Nothing!  That’s what!”

Oh, Wall Clock. How wonderful and glorious it must be where you are...

What I can’t seem to get my head around is the involvement of the Spring-forward clock change.  That is, when it comes time to move the clocks forward, I feel as though I’ve been swindled in some Faustian bargain.  I’m grumpy the entire day – because it’s later than it should be, because it’s going to be hard to go to sleep tonight, because I totally did not see this coming.  Ah, Time, you are a crafty negotiator.

So, you say, try to think of Spring Forward as an investment in the Fall Back day.  That or just don’t give it much thought.  Easier said than done, my cool-headed friends.  Easier said than done.  I’ve tried.  The Time Gods know I’ve tried.  But all I can think is about the last Fall change day and that I’m somehow being drained of that goodness.  I assume it’s because I was born in July, so the Fall Back came first for me, and I figured, good deal!  Extra hour to hang out, watch cartoons, play with Legos.

Little did I know I was just a few months from cruel, cruel disillusionment.

The really dumb part is I mock people for seasonal irrationality.  For example, where I live, every year, at the first of September, the weather cools suddenly.  Every year.  And every year people say, “Uh oh.  So much for Summer. Going to be an early winter!”  And then, every year, about a week later it heats up again and stays warm until about the beginning of November.  Every.  Year.  When it happens next year, people will worry again.

Don't these simpletons recognize a routine seasonal -- OH MY GOD, THE SUN IS DISAPPEARING BEHIND THAT HILL, CASTING THE WORLD IN DARKNESS!! FORGIVE US, SUN!

And I’m oh-so superior and rational because, psh, can’t they seem a basic seasonal pattern?  Can’t they recognize that we have late seasons here that follow a pretty consistent rotation?  What, (scoff, snort) do they also think the sun is dying because the days are getting shorter?

And yet here I am, every year, ready to make a blood sacrifice in gratitude that the Gods have granted us an extra hour of life on this most holy of Sundays.  And come Spring, on a date that is on the calendar and I could look at right now, I will fume and sulk and lament that I’ve been betrayed by a trickster spirit.

But that’s months from now.  Now is a time for rejoicing and celebrating a gift that will never, ever be taken away.

Photo credits:

  1. “Stupid Clock” by Oschene.  Flickr.
  2. “Muggy Sunset 2” by Paul+Photos=Moody.  Flickr.
Advertisements
, , , , ,

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

View all posts by The Byronic Man

Subscribe

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

16 Comments on “Oh, Glorious Day of The 25th Hour!”

  1. becomingcliche Says:

    Every spring, I worry that the tilt of the earth’s axis has somehow shifted and that we will never have a warm day again. One of these days, we won’t. And who will be laughing then? Me, that’s who. Because I totally saw it coming.

    Reply

  2. Too creative for this life Says:

    The same people every winter say it has never been this cold, or this snowy, or this dark, and I just think right, not since last Feb – here look at the graph. But the time change, that just messes with my entire system and makes me feel like we are such a silly species.

    Reply

  3. natasiarose Says:

    I hate Spring Forward day as I hate hell too…and all Montagues.

    Reply

  4. Blogdramedy Says:

    Fall back, spring forward. Fall back, spring forward. And ‘lo, the bunny hop was born. 🙂

    Reply

  5. truthspew Says:

    I just wish we’d stay on daylight time all year round. So what if it’s dark at 7:30 in the morning, I’d rather have it light out at 5PM.

    Reply

  6. gojulesgo Says:

    Ha! Yesterday WAS awesome. I slept in, and, like, I didn’t!

    I think I’m in the “look at Spring Forward as an investment in Fall Back” category. I LOVE (lovelovelove) having it stay light out later, so losing an hour is worth it to me. I did have an especially heart-healthy walk with Uncle Jesse today after work, though, trying to do the 1.5 mile route before the sun went down at 5:30! (I did slap a piece of reflective tape on my back first, just in case. I need to kick this cool party up another notch and get one of those head lamps.)

    Reply

    • Byron MacLymont Says:

      Maybe that’s what it is – I have to be to work at 7:00am, and making myself go to bed at 9:00 is one thing when it’s been dark already for 3 hours. It’s another thing entirely when the sun is shining an people are out having barbecues and playing frisbee.

      Reply

  7. midsummerdreamsandwintertales Says:

    Like all sane and rational people, glad to see you’re in this group, I love falling back and spring forward. After all, if you fall forward you are likely to lose some teeth.

    Reply

  8. pithypants Says:

    I’m with you. One suggestion to the Time Gods: make Fall Back happen on a Sunday night for maximum effect. Oh, and also? Don’t ever fly to Australia. It’s like being carjacked by the Time Gods.

    Reply

  9. princessvonvoodoo Says:

    Morning is an awful way to start your day no matter what time it is.

    Reply

Every Time You Leave A Comment, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: