So, I see you decided to unfollow me. Well, that is certainly your right. I’m sorry to see you go, but I understand. Perhaps my blog wasn’t your style. Perhaps I’m just not your cup of tea. Perhaps I inadvertently offended you somehow, though I sure hope not. Perhaps you just wanted to, in the immortal words of Thoreau, “simplify, simplify.” Farewell, and good luck.
Sorry. Um. Just, really quickly though… why did you unfollow me? Any reason in particular? It’s my fault isn’t it. I wasn’t funny enough? Got political on you too many times? Couldn’t understand why I wrote an lengthy review of Godfather III, a 20-year-old movie that not even Francis Coppola particularly cares about? Too many Simpsons references? It’s because occasionally I get all smartypants and use phrases like “in the immortal words of Thoreau,” isn’t it? Aw, why do I do that? It just happens sometimes. I’m such an idiot! I’m not like that, I swear. I really try to, as they say, “keep it real.”
Oh, God, I just did it again didn’t I?? That last phrase probably has you picturing me in Victorian garb, giant moustache and monocle, trying to sound hip by talking about “the latest video-recorded buffoonery on The Youtube.” No wonder you unfollowed me! I’m so worthless! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Okay, sorry. I’m projecting. Possibly overreacting. I just am curious why, though, specifically. For future understanding. Maybe there’s some flaw I could fix. I mean, I thought we had a good relationship. Me with the posting and jokes and observations, and you with the comments and the likes. But clearly I was wrong. You felt the need to unfollow.
After all, it’s obviously such a big hassle, having my blog show up on your reader list, or in your email in-box. Ooh, boy, such a burden. I can see why, instead of simply ignoring it, or letting it slide and checking back later to give it a fair chance you had to actually go out of your way to unsubscribe. That makes sense and doesn’t seem hostile or cruel at all. Real mature. You must be such a bigshot, getting your kicks subscribing to hard-working, well-meaning blogs and then pow, going and kicking —
Sorry. Sorry. I just need to stay focused on the positive. After all, I have a lot of wonderful readers, and I value them very much. Hardly worth stressing over why you, one person, decided to un-follow me, right? Sure. Obviously. I mean, no one is liked by everyone, right? Sure.
Say, your username and avatar are kind of vague. I only mention it because if I had a clearer sense of who you are, I could write you directly, or maybe stop by your house. We could talk about this. Your avatar has part of your face; maybe if I knew someone at the FBI they could run it through that facial-recognition software they’re always using in TV shows. Hm. I wonder how you become friends with an FBI agent. Are there particular bars they hang out in? And how long do you have to be friends before you first broach the “please run this pixilated half-face through your system” topic? An hour? That might be optimistic. I’ll call that Plan B.
I digressed. What was I saying?
PLEASE COME BACK! Tell me what I have to do! None of my other readers mean a thing to me!! There’s only you! There only ever been you! Remember the funny photo captions? You liked those, right? Sure, everybody loves my funny captions! Look, look, I’ll do one right now, just for you:
Crap. Okay, that was too much pressure to put on myself. Got to relax. Walk it off. Nobody likes a desperate person, Byronic Man. Play it cool. Cool. Coooooool.
Hey, you know, like I said. Whatev. You’ll miss out on some good times – we get some great conversations going here, but maybe that’s not your thing. I get it. If you ever want to drop by, or re-subscribe, you know… I’ll consider it. I’ll probably be pretty busy then when my blog is HUGE and has millions of followers and everyone talks about it but you don’t know what they’re talking about, do you? No, you don’t. And you feel SO DUMB, and like you have no taste. But… that’s not my point. My point is you can always come back and we’ll just see, right? Sure. Sure. If you’re still set on unsubscribing, that is. You can think about it. Maybe re-subscribe and think about it. Give it a night. You will? Really? Great! I very wise choice, I should think. For, as Alexis de Toqueville so eloquently once said… No, wait! Come back!
Damn it!
The Byronic Man 
May 1, 2012 at 3:10 am
I will never Un-Follow you Byronic Man! Never! *sniffles*
May 1, 2012 at 10:30 am
Hey, it’s like the end of a romantic comedy!
*Bursts in to tears* “And I’ll always cherish your comments!”
June 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm
This is just pure genious, i will now follow you to balance to karma of the unfollowers.
June 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Exactly my thought!
June 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Just genious, for this I will follow you to balance out the karma of the unfollowers.
May 1, 2012 at 3:19 am
This is just so me! The “why” would drive me crazy and I see nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with bringing the FBI into this matter. Come on, I’m sure they’ve had crazier requests than this one.
May 1, 2012 at 10:33 am
One of my best friends has spent his whole career in government, and said that in the 90’s they had consistent – consistent – people asking about joining the X-Files department.
May 1, 2012 at 3:55 am
HHmmmmm . . . . so, you’re saying that if I unsubscribe then you’ll write a special post just to little old me? Maybe show up at my house and have a nice long chat about what’s so great about your blog?
Cool, where is that “Drive Byronic to the brink” button anyway? It’s gotta be here somewhere. . . .
May 1, 2012 at 10:45 am
It’s the age-old practice in relationships, right? Ignore those close to you, dote on the one’s who aren’t around.
May 1, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Either that, or the fact that some people are just so gosh darned entertaining when they’re flustered, that you just get the urge to fluster them on purpose sometimes. But, I wouldn’t do that to ya. Honest. Really, I totally wouldn’t. 🙂
May 1, 2012 at 3:58 am
Good reading while drinking my coffee!!! This was a great start to my morning. It’s a question we ask ourselves in this situation, but you put it way that really adds humor ( leaving out the drama).
May 1, 2012 at 10:46 am
Well, I always think the way that, at least, i think over things like that is just so absurd. Except in the moment. Then it’s only logical to obsessively focus on the one person in the room who doesn’t adore you.
May 1, 2012 at 4:11 am
The irony of course, is that as an unsubscriber, the fool will never see it. His loss. For the record, I only show part of my face because the rest of it is quite unsightly and the photo isn’t pixilated, it was just taken with a cheap camera.
May 1, 2012 at 10:54 am
Mine is pixelated because it’s actually a tiny portion of a photo of me and two other people – head to two. That’s how cropped the photo is.
And I don’t even actually know who “unfollowed” but now people will be riddled with guilt to do so!
May 1, 2012 at 2:44 pm
I have no idea who’s following me, but I must lose them as fast as I add them, because my total number remains about the same. Harper Collins has yet to notice just how massive that number is.
May 1, 2012 at 4:28 am
I believe it is all a plot. A Word Press plot. I have bumped those “unfollow” and “unlike” buttons on occasion (I think) and then can’t figure out why I am not getting posts.
This is how Word Press keeps us all off balance and miserable enough to be creative.
May 1, 2012 at 11:00 am
That’s a good idea – a WP feature that fuels tortured creativity. Hmm… I may steal that for a post. I’ll give you credit.
May 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I don’t take credit cards. Cash will be fine, thank you.
May 1, 2012 at 4:43 am
That does it. I am un-following you now.
But before I go, I’m with Elyse on the wordpress conspiracy theories. My followers tend to drop by one one once in awhile, then inch back up again, just enough to keep me wondering and writing more posts because of my fear they’ll be a mass exodus. I also think this Freshly Pressed think is brilliant on their part, they FP you, then let you fade away to obscurity so you’ll stick around hoping it’ll happen again. those bastards.
May 1, 2012 at 11:02 am
Every day (I probably shouldn’t admit this)… every day I have this little moment where I check my stats and a little part of me gets ready to gasp because my hit count is in the thousands! And all these commenters and new subscribers!
I think you’re right. It’s a great feature they use, but the sadists in at Word Press Global HQ also love it.
May 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm
They know how to hook you in with the stats. Keep you wanting more.
By the way, by some odd coincidence my blog followers just jumped back up by TWO. That is a record for me in one day. Must be a glitch.
June 14, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Hey, enjoy the thousands! I typically get less than a hundred a day, and I have over 400 facebook friends who are clearly not readin my blog. *sigh*
June 15, 2012 at 10:42 am
What!
I’m lucky to get ten!
How…….?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
June 23, 2012 at 4:52 pm
I realized I had zero friends on FB, because no one read any of my blog posts from there. I deactivated my account, as I don’t collect friends, anyway. I’d rather collect writers and readers.
Many people want you to read them back. If you don’t, they’ve had enough of your tired old stuff. 🙂
June 24, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Seapunk: I noticed your 2c because I’m with you most of the way (see other comments here). Active readership of what we endeavour to put out there, is a reward. LiveVideo.com was a site like Utube. Members commented a lot, unmeaningfully. We can do html code in these message boxes but we’re saying something.
Most of the time on LiveVideo, they dumped a picture on your profile. Cute but disrespectful of dial-up internet (massive jpgs, not thumbnails) and “happy Tuesday” quickly got old. I was looking for “got your message” or “this is what my town is like”. How is your town? Is the sea a hobby or are you a genuine dweller? 😉
June 24, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I live about three miles, as the crow flies, from the Pacific Coast, in Del Norte county, California. Just came back from two hours of picking up trash on the beach. I live in giant redwood country, a unique place in all the world.
Feel free to read some of my natural world blog posts – I take you on a hike or trail or even in my own back yard.
I grew up on the east coast, there’s some of that, too.
My apologies to The Byronic Man for using his blog comment forum for my own benefit.
June 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Au contraire, I think we’ll find him pleased his post visitors are introducing themselves. I’d love if folks stopped by for a “where are you from” intro on my blog – Bionic included. I’m centre of this continent, furthest from oceans. Eastern Manitoba in the Canadian prairies, plenty of forest and lakes. Natural blogs (and humour) are great.
June 24, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I like it, too, and never censor, though I do moderate a first comment. I once got a “You’re a bitch,” comment in regard to my serious fun pokin’ at people using the “YOU GUYS” to include everyone and anyone. I’ll see you over there…
What kind of trees grow there and what is the growing season? 😀 Hey Bionic, how’s it going?
June 15, 2012 at 7:29 am
Too right, D! WP is definitely hooking everyone. In fact, I’m gonna do a post on this. Right now, maybe. Damn you, WP! Post to follow.
June 15, 2012 at 7:52 am
Yep, I’m pretty addicted and it’s all their fault, MJ!
May 1, 2012 at 4:59 am
Had the same recently, I’m suprised you notice since you have about a gazillion followers! I heart leapt when mine shot up by 45 recently, then I realised it was only as I linked to my Facebook.
May 1, 2012 at 11:03 am
Well, to be honest, I definitely don’t know who unsubscribed, and wasn’t actually that upset, but I definitely noticed the number click down. Obsessive? Overly self-critical? Guilty.
June 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Phew! I wondered if an e-mail went out, similar to when folks subscribe! I have unsubscribed. I’m on dial-up. My modem often refuses 2 webpages. I can only read a few (receiving a comment from me is saying something). It does bog down hotmail to delete every alert. Some folks review everything book they read, instead of those they had strong feelings about. And then there are those who haven’t subscribed me back. LOL! I do wait for months before I go WTF?
I deleted a guy on LiveVideo.com because he didn’t say boo in 2 YEARS. He posted right after my bulletins but no matter what subject matter, nothing. Seconds after deleting him, the sap replies with a sarcastic: “thanks”. Really? No remark on the car accident, finding ourselves a new home to counter pet banning? That guy sucked. But I don’t blame anyone else for being curious about deletion. 😉
June 18, 2012 at 5:28 pm
It’s tough to keep up, though, isn’t it? There’s just so much out there. You’d have to quit working and cut off all social ties.
I think I know that guy you deleted. He sucks.
June 24, 2012 at 1:14 pm
He does. What I’ve noticed in my short time blogging, is that someone gets a look at my blog posts, makes a few comments. Hey, thanks for nothing, because it’s just a way to get you in my reader. I don’t feel obligated anymore. I started spending more time reading and commenting, than writing.
I don’t care why someone lets me go. And, I only care to know who it is, so I can let them go, if their blog is flat or generally too long. I say straight out – I’m not here for a popularity contest. I don’t want to be part of someone’s collection and I don’t collect readers that don’t read. There are so many ways to “like” a post and not even have a look at the first five sentences. That smells.
One night I published a new post, late, looked at the clock, and sat and waited to see how long it would take for someone to “like” my post. The post took me about four hours or more to write – it was serious business. About 30 seconds later, two “likes” came in. Ha ha ha ha ha, hilarious. The likers forgot to look at the time in their Reader… Fools. I know, but they don’t know I know…. 😀
May 1, 2012 at 4:59 am
It’s a best gift a person could ever get on unsubscribing someone. A post dedicated to him, I hope you made that person’s day. 🙂 Let me be honest while saying this, These same thoughts goes through my mind when someone unsubscribe me. “One day I will have one million subscribers and I am going to ignore him.” Do not let me know that, for me one million is too much; This number makes me feel good know. And the best part is it does not make the person who unsubscribe me feel bad. So it’s fair enough!
May 1, 2012 at 11:04 am
Yeah, that was my real motivation – I was confident that I’m not alone on this irrational response to losing a follower.
May 1, 2012 at 5:13 am
I was going to write this same letter. Not entirely the same, because I’m fairly certain I offended someone. And if I offended you, then off with your head or at least off my followers list. So, thank you for writing this so I don’t have to. Yours came out much more eloquent that mine would have.
May 1, 2012 at 11:05 am
That could be pretty funny, too – an apology for offending someone that’s far more offensive than the original incident.
May 1, 2012 at 9:20 pm
oh now you’ve given me something to ponder. I can be quite randy when I want to be.
June 15, 2012 at 7:31 am
My kingdom for a “like” button on the comments.
June 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm
I hear you on that one!
May 1, 2012 at 5:44 am
I think people unsubscribe simply to cut back on email volume, even though that can be controlled otherwise. Just a thought but I can see why it’s irritating. I have 32 followers and am thankful for each of them. But my content can be sometimes off-the-wall and politically pompous too which doesn’t really help! Keep up the good work. 🙂
May 1, 2012 at 11:06 am
So selfish of people to put controlling the email clutter over by desire to increase my subscriber-ship.
May 1, 2012 at 5:46 am
Your blog reminds me that there is still some intelligence left on the Internet; it gives me much-needed rest from the constant litany of advertisements and spam with which I must normally cope. If I “un-follow” you, it either means that I’m dead and my executor did it to clean up my estate or I just got bored.
May 1, 2012 at 11:07 am
I’ll assume it’s A or B. And that it’s B and that I’ve been named in your will.
June 18, 2012 at 9:05 am
well said, finally a place where there is humour presented in an intelligent way!
May 1, 2012 at 5:48 am
It’s nice to know that there are other people out there who feel a bit of blog insecurity from time to time. Wait….you are feeling insecure right? Or was this post just a big joke aimed at all of the insecure bloggers out there? Gah! Now I’m feeling insecure about you feeling insecure….
May 1, 2012 at 11:09 am
Oh. My. God. Rachel D Angelis gets insecure about her blog sometimes? Omigod, everyone, look at Rachel! Hahahahahaha!
I kid, I kid. It’s aimed at all of us, particularly me, and our tendency to irrationally focus on the negative. I can’t imagine there’s anyone creative who doesn’t Not really.
May 1, 2012 at 5:59 am
Thank you for the cool tree house – I’ll bring the key lime pie!
You are better off without this person who cannot appreciate vocab such as “ribald” and “bafoonery”…
May 1, 2012 at 6:46 am
Excellent. Now we just need something to drink. And cool tree-fort hats. Obviously.
May 1, 2012 at 6:02 am
Ahh, F’m if they can’t take your intellect and humor. You don’t want or need them. There, there my fine friend all the rest of us love you, adore you, will never leave you to melt into a small self-pity puddle.
May 1, 2012 at 6:45 am
Isn’t that the way of people, though? I made this commercial a few months back and the executives of the company it was for watched it. There were 18 of them and 17 of them loved it, 1 didn’t like it. Guess who I obsessed about all day?
June 15, 2012 at 10:29 am
Ok, seriously, quit showing off! 🙂
I liked the post, but didn’t love it (it didn’t have enough photo captions).
More importantly, I wonder what the other half of your face looks like (I watched enough movies and read enough stories to know that there are two sides to each face; remember Two-Face from “Batman”? See, I know a thing or two about faces.
What are you hiding, Byronic Man, what are you hiding?
Sincerely, and with unexpressed love,
~Tinkerbell
June 15, 2012 at 9:11 pm
I’m just a really, really bad photographer. I try to take my own photo, and that’s as close as I can get…
I’m actually update ding stuff pretty soon. Maybe I’ll go with 2/3 face…
June 16, 2012 at 3:57 am
2/3 face? Oh you can just use an eye-patch for that.
*gasp*
So you’re a pirate!!!
June 18, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Since pirates rule, it WOULD make sense…
May 1, 2012 at 6:12 am
Wow, do you really keep close enough track of your followers that you can identify the avatar? Or was that a joke referencing your pic?
May 1, 2012 at 6:43 am
Oh no, not at all – I can’t keep track of my car keys on a day-to-day basis. I just thought the idea was funny of not only figuring out who unsubscribed, but trying to take an avatar pic to the FBI.
May 1, 2012 at 6:47 am
Oh good, because I wouldn’t have a clue. And it was funny, as usual.
May 1, 2012 at 6:17 am
That person is certainly going to rue the day he/she unfollowed you when The Byronic Man movie comes out.
May 1, 2012 at 6:41 am
Yeah! They’ll say “I used to be in to Byronic Man before it was big. Then I unsubscribed.” And people will be like, “So you suck, then?” And then who’ll be laughing??
May 1, 2012 at 6:19 am
Awww… don’t feel bad… they just came over to my blog… I’ll be sure to tell them how you feel…
May 1, 2012 at 6:40 am
Don’t trust them! Oh, they’ll say LOL, but doubt even that was real…
May 1, 2012 at 9:34 am
Not only ‘LOL’… but one of those laughing happy faces too…
May 1, 2012 at 11:15 am
“Oh, your eyes say ‘Winky Face,’ but your smile says ‘I’m only here until someone better comes along.'”
May 1, 2012 at 6:43 am
Where’s the loyalty these days! Fairweather followers – who needs ’em!
May 1, 2012 at 11:15 am
ME! ME!
No, I agree.
May 1, 2012 at 6:50 am
I loved this post so much that I’m actually considering the idea of unsubscribing!! 😀
May 1, 2012 at 10:28 am
Wouldn’t that be the worst? “Hey, I’ll unsubscribe and see if he mentions it!” Suddenly the only hits are from me, on a different computer.
May 1, 2012 at 7:16 am
Who would ever unsubscribe from the Byronic Man???? In the words of Mr. T, “Fool!”
May 1, 2012 at 10:26 am
I know, right? World’s full of self-destructive people, I guess.
May 1, 2012 at 8:02 am
I don’t need to worry when my followers leave me. It’s all them. Not me. Definitely. They just see too much of themselves and their childhood in my posts and think, “This is too much, Angie. You’ve gone too far with your relevance and poignancy. To read any more of this would be like regression therapy and I can’t take that.”
So I just assume then that I was too good.
Seriously though, you posting that old photo? Um, I might have to unfollow you after that nonsense. I will go to great lengths to avoid creepy turn of the century photographs. Thank you for the nightmares.
May 1, 2012 at 10:26 am
That’s a good approach. “Clearly I overwhelmed them with my writing power. Poor, fragile souls.”
I know what you mean about old photos – sometimes the eyes follow you, disapprovingly.
May 1, 2012 at 8:04 am
OMG did you just say none of your others readers mean anything to you…..no!!!!
This will take years of therapy …..our cult leader hates us..why would you say somehing like this why why why 😯
May 1, 2012 at 10:24 am
I didn’t mean it. It was only to rattle them. You’re the only reader I care about. Shhh, don’t tell the others.
May 1, 2012 at 8:49 am
Tres humorous.. Funnily, I never notice if/when people unfollow me, but I have noticed once or twice being unsubscribed from other peoples blogs BY THEM. I’ve actually run across them again and re-followed, although it was only about 50% because I wanted to. The other 50% was pure cussedness and the desire to irk them with my renewed interest. Cannot imagine who’d tire of your blog. I like it more than mine. Hahahaha
May 1, 2012 at 10:24 am
Really? You can “unsubscribe” people who follow your blog? I guess that makes sense, just in case. You sure it was active on their part? Not a glitch in the system?
May 1, 2012 at 11:11 am
Yes, you can edit your own followers..no wait, you can follow/unfollow your followers. my bad. Crap, now my comment is obsolete. sigh. Could have been a glitch, but then why? Although speaking of glitches, when I tried to comment on this earlier my avatar suddenly changed to a young blond girl and for the life of me I couldn’t get it to change back to the firebird. glitchy wordpress!
May 1, 2012 at 11:16 am
WP saying, “You sure you don’t want to switch to young, blond girl? We think it suits you.”
May 1, 2012 at 11:25 am
It would, since I used to be one. But I’m incognito for now.. Someday you’ll see a vlog with me dancing around going “I quit my jo-ob, I quit my jo-ob, and I’m so ha-ppy, so very ha-ppy” etc
May 1, 2012 at 9:13 am
I was just thinking about this as re: my Facebook page over the weekend. Sometimes I’ll post ridiculous @#%^ and get 48 new likes, whereas I’ll post one short, thoughtful note that loses a half-dozen people and think, WTF? Usually it doesn’t bother me, but if the mood is wrong, I’ll fret a little about it. Perhaps next time I’ll just think of this! :p
May 1, 2012 at 9:32 am
I’ve thought that too, Deborah.
May 1, 2012 at 10:23 am
I’ve had that experience. Dash some quick missive out and it catches on, but the lovingly crafted treatise? Meh, too long. Or too boring, or something.
May 1, 2012 at 9:26 am
Everyone DOES love your captions. This was hilarious. I don’t think there’s a creative soul alive who doesn’t hone in on the ONE negative thing. Even in, say, a sea of 902 followers. 😉
Oh, and as your BFF I think I have to offer to kick someone’s butt right now. Crud. I hit like a girl. I think. I’ve never hit anyone.
Maybe I can just hide in the tree house?
May 1, 2012 at 10:22 am
That’s a thought – cyber-harassing people who unsubscribe, or who have yet to subscribe. Better yet, become a hacker and extort people. “Nice blog you got here. Be a shame if anything happened to it. Ever thought about subscribing to my blog? You know, so I know we’re friends and I can keep an eye on your site for you.”
June 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm
The pertinent bit starts at 1:30 or so.
For my part, the only reason I have unfollowed a blog is because I discovered that the author added new content about every 30 seconds or so, thus pushing everything else out of my reader. I have done this exactly twice.
May 1, 2012 at 9:53 am
Maybe it was a glitch in the website. That’s what I always tell myself. Or the porn-spammers got their accounts closed, so I lost them.
May 1, 2012 at 10:20 am
It’s the only plausible explanation.
May 1, 2012 at 10:29 am
I agree. I would follow you twice if I could. I couldn’t imagine someone unfollowing you on purpose.
May 1, 2012 at 10:25 am
Serious or not this is hilarious. Thanks for the chuckle!
*I solemly swear to not unsubscribe, i’ll just change my Email ;)*
May 1, 2012 at 11:19 am
That’s the spirit! Change your whole life instead of causing me momentary distress. Perfect.
May 1, 2012 at 11:41 am
I aim to please 😉 glad I hit the spot.
May 1, 2012 at 10:36 am
I think you went through all the stages, except acceptance. Love it! 😉
May 1, 2012 at 11:20 am
I choose not to accept acceptance. The acceptance stage is for quitters.
May 1, 2012 at 5:50 pm
I heart you so much. Acceptance IS for quitters. You should make a button and put that on Facebook. I would do it, but my 12-year-old is asleep. He’s my button maker. And button pusher.
May 1, 2012 at 10:50 am
I think the follower left for some other reason than quoting the Simpsons. One can never reference the Simpsons too much. It might get a little weird if you started using the voices but we are reading this stuff, so wouldn’t have factored in.
My husband has developed a type of language consisting of movie/TV quotes… some things are just understood better in it’s native tongue.
May 1, 2012 at 11:21 am
That’s my policy on quoting The Simpsons, too. Sometimes I think the blogs that are nothing but Simpsons quotes need more Simpsons quotes.
May 1, 2012 at 10:53 am
Hey, I’d never unfollow now that I’ve subscribed. Even if you said you really hated The A-Team.
May 1, 2012 at 10:56 am
Me? I don’t think I said that… I liked the A-Team, so I can’t imagine I’d say that… I even kind of dug the movie (but I think part of that was I stumbled across it on cable in exactly the right mood).
May 1, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I think that came out the wrong way…I meant it as a subjunctive sort of “as if” statement. I don’t doubt someone as cool as you would like TAT. 🙂
May 1, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Phew. For a moment I thought I’d left one of those comments that sounds funny in my head but then sounds serious, and you’re hurt, and telling everyone I’m a jerk and such. All is well, then. I love it when a comment thread comes together.
May 1, 2012 at 11:27 am
back on topic.. how could someone un-follow you the week after you find out you’re going to have a baby? really? weird.
May 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Good point. I should have included, “What you don’t like babies?”
May 1, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I think it was your therapist…trying to get you to a point where you would need to resume the “sessions”…just tell her that the voices in your head say: “No!”
May 1, 2012 at 12:19 pm
..if she raises “abandonment issues” straight away you’ll know for sure…
May 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Although it was my mom who “unfollowed” me…
May 1, 2012 at 12:25 pm
I’m guessing it’s not you, it’s them. At least, that’s what I told myself when I lost followers.
May 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Definitely. What’s wrong with, “them” anyway? “Them” are so stupid.
May 1, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Ah yes, the unfollow…the blog equivalent of being punched in the gut. At least no one can see you crying through the internet.
May 2, 2012 at 6:25 am
Not yet.
May 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm
When I first started with Word Press, I was following a few blogs, but then every 2 weeks or so I would have to renew my “follower” status or I would stop getting their notifications of new posts. I thought it was weird at the time, maybe this is what happened here. It was someone new on the system & the system unfollowed you? No Byromaniac in their right mind would unfollow you, especially while we’re all waiting for kidney bean updates.
I have unfollowed 3 bloggers in my time here. One of them made a racist remark I really didn’t agree with & so I wrote a thoughtful comment telling him why I was going to stop following him & then unfollowed. The other 2 were blogs that started out interesting to me, but then went off in a direction I didn’t necessarily want to follow – like photos or poetry or something. I let the posts come to my email for about a month & when nothing had changed I unfollowed them. I don’t do this lightly BTW!
I am a dyed-in-the-wool Byromaniac, so don’t worry I won’t unfollow you!
May 2, 2012 at 6:24 am
One of the very first blogs I followed was a guy talking about basically trying to make a life for himself in his mid-40’s. That he’d wasted the first half of his life and was chronicling his attempt to make something of the second half. A great premise. Only thing was he was deeply misogynistic, and one of those people who talk about the “lamestream media.” I literally could not think of things to comment about that weren’t overtly hostile.
May 1, 2012 at 8:55 pm
I wonder if it is the same follower that unsubscribed to us all? Hmmmmm…
May 2, 2012 at 6:20 am
Probably. That jerk.
May 2, 2012 at 7:40 am
Whew! WordPress is finally back on line today after almost a week of NO Reader function, NO Blogs I Follow, NO Recommended Humor Blogs to obsessively check to see if I’m still there – even no Freshly Pressed page for days! Who knows what kind of tomfoolery they did with my settings? Might even have made me unsubscribe to blogs I cherish.
So what did I miss?
May 2, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Not much. We all just waited for you to come back.
May 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm
My reader hasn’t worked in months! I have to manually search for the blogs I want to read. EVERY WEEK. In other news, I’m forming valuable stalker skills. However, they still aren’t great enough to find a legit WordPress email address or comment box to voice my functionality issues. WordPress is great though. Just greaaat. *crazy laughter*
May 8, 2012 at 6:26 am
I don’t know why suddenly there are so many problems with the “follow” features. I know they’re continually upgrading it, but they’ve seemed so incremental that I don’t know what could have had such random and far-reaching effects.
May 8, 2012 at 7:44 am
Agreed. Unless they’re also partnering with pharmaceutical companies…then I could see why they’re slowly trying to drive us bonkers…
May 2, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I share your pain on Twitter. For years, I’ve said things like, “Dude! I lost 2 followers. What happened?” Then some of my followers say, “Dude! You *know* how many followers you have? That’s lame!”
Well…for years I’ve bounced under and slightly above 100. YES, THAT’S LAME. Then, for some magical reason, I hit 120 (which I hadn’t noticed it was creeping up there but when I did, I’s was all like, WOOHOOO I’m above 100!”
Then, people dump me. Oh, the shame of forever having 100 followers on twitter.
May 2, 2012 at 4:18 pm
I have yet to go the Twitter route. Not enough hours in the day. The blog already sits in the corner muttering, “Feed me!”
May 4, 2012 at 6:34 am
I tend to use twitter more on the weekend, early AM (basically home).
May 3, 2012 at 6:37 am
If only your posts would show up in my reader…WP has messed with my subscriptions to the point I wonder why I bother…yours no longer show up even though I am clearly subscribed to follow (stalk) you. I uncovered 10 missed posts yesterday from some of my favorites. Made me bitchy AND morose – not a good combination.
May 3, 2012 at 8:42 am
Unfollowing you would be akin to voting Republican. That’s borderline incestuous…and more than a little icky. 😉
May 3, 2012 at 9:02 am
I don’t follow any blogs because I just can’t keep things… organized… I’m just all over the place that way. Unless I accidentally click ‘follow’. Then I feel I can’t ‘un-follow’ (even though I never visit blogs that way). I have un-followed myself, though. Repeatedly. Because I accidentally follow myself at least once a week. Mad motor skills.
🙂
June 9, 2012 at 10:14 am
I have indeed unsubscribed to a few blogs because they’re so prolific (and I’m so weak), but I save the links and visit as I have said I will.
Ugh, I feel so dirty, now.
June 14, 2012 at 11:16 am
I knew you were overdue for a FP! They went back to your archives… Nice! 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm
They must have finally gotten my tear-stained letters over at WP World Headquarters.
June 14, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Maybe I should start staining a few…. 🙂
June 18, 2012 at 1:59 am
It had been awhile since I’d checked out the Freshly Pressed Page, and I was surprised to see this (kinda older) post there! Wasn’t I just commenting that you should get Freshly Pressed (on your “Never Say Never” post, ironically enough) and you were like, “I don’t think that will happen again…” and then it did! That’s crazy! Jeez, how many times HAVE you been Freshly Pressed? 😛 (not that I’m jealous or anything…)
June 14, 2012 at 11:20 am
Ha ha ha…I think my favorite part was “Walk it off”, though to be honest it was hard to pick out a favorite. How very neurotic of you. Of course, now I have to follow you so I can un-follow you simply to see what you’ll say about me. But then again, I probably won’t.
I’ll follow because I’m hoping the rest of your blog is as nervously Woody Allen-ish as this post. I do so enjoying reading the psychotic ramblings of others. It reassures me that I’m not alone…
Well done!!
June 14, 2012 at 11:23 am
I was just thinking the same thing, Susie. Way overdue
June 14, 2012 at 11:25 am
OK, so how in the world did this topic pop into your mind?
Does being un-followed really bother you that much? Or was there a process to thinking this blog up?
June 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm
In general, it’s the way I/people fixate on the negative amidst greater positive.
Specifically, though, it was a commercial I directed for this company and when the suit-guys looked at it, 16 of them loved it, 1 didn’t. And I just kept coming back to the 1 guy. “Yes, yes, that’s nice about all of you. Tell me more about this other guy. What’s his problem? He thinks this is easy? ‘It looks too 80’s’ what does that even mean?”
Then someone (I don’t actually now who) unsubscribed on the same day two new people subscribed and it kind of grew from there.
So it doesn’t bother me THAT much, but probably more than is rational…
June 14, 2012 at 11:27 am
Totally awesome, thoughtful, writing. I laughed out loud and it hit me where it hurts. Congrats on Freshly Pressed. I hate that it was you instead of me …–oh, no really Congrats!!!
June 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm
I understand. I’d hate me too.
June 14, 2012 at 11:29 am
Well, Mr Byronic Man, I haven’t ever laughed as much as I did reading this post. You are a professor in the art of language and I am not worthy. Truly amazing.:)
June 14, 2012 at 11:35 am
You’re hilarious! So much so that I am considering following you this instant. However, I wouldn’t want you think I am easy, so let me play mind games with you for a bit.
June 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Excellent.
June 14, 2012 at 11:35 am
I really enjoy your style of writing. It’s funny that I understand how you feel, even though I only have 22 followers 🙂 thank you for making me laugh. I “liked” you and am now another admiring follower. Write on my friend, we are reading.
June 14, 2012 at 11:38 am
Love this post, congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Something tells me you’re going to gain some new followers now… 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 11:43 am
Congrats on the FP!!! Ya deserve it!
June 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Thanks, Cassie “There’s no ‘i’ in Behle, stupid” Behle! Hey, maybe you’ll get a little cross-over traffic form the 20 Q’s interview.
June 15, 2012 at 7:45 am
You were…close!
As long as I don’t have to wait forever at a red light when I want to get home after work today. Then, I suppose, a little cross-over traffic would be ok. 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 11:45 am
I know I cannot take “unfollows” place – and cannot imagine why they decided to unfollow–but you have a new follower in me – now does that feel better? I will only unfollow if you post nude pictures of women – I unfollowed that guy so fast–but I am sure you have much better taste than that (lol)
June 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I know – the whole “I’ll throw pictures of nude women in with my account of how I found that dollar lying in the street in order to run up my hit count.” Classy.
June 14, 2012 at 2:54 pm
you are funny – maybe I will throw a naked woman on my account to run up my hits – who knew – I am obviously naive- and with a name like onthehomefront wouldn’t I be unique?
June 14, 2012 at 11:46 am
Congratulations, B-Man! I just got thrown off the Freshly Pressed page today but now I’m thrilled that it was to make room for you and Jules! Woo-hoo! Enjoy the bloggy love wave.
June 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm
All glory is fleeting, I suppose, but sorry you had to step down.
Jules and I are always wondering if we’re the same person, and this is doing nothing to dispel that.
June 15, 2012 at 4:49 am
All glory is fleeting, I suppose, but sorry you had to step down.
Byronic Man and I are always wondering if we’re the same person, and this is going nothing to dispel that.
…heh heh Sorry. I had to. Congrats again, B Man!! I’m SO happy this was FP’d, but I don’t envy the WordPress overlords – they have to pick from your endless sea of genius/funny!
June 14, 2012 at 11:50 am
Thank that one person who unfollowed you because now I’m sure 100s of people are follwoing you after freshly pressed 🙂 Great post and hilarious 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Good point. If I actually knew who it was I’d do that.
June 14, 2012 at 11:51 am
This is incredibly funny – thank you for making me laugh at these things! That un-follower is really missing out.
June 14, 2012 at 11:54 am
Nicely done…..in more ways than one…
June 14, 2012 at 11:54 am
And all along I thought it was you who deleted my subscription. Let’s make up, ‘k?
June 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Holy crap! It’s the mysterious, beloved Hippie Cahier! I’ve heard multiple bloggers talk about your wonderfulness, and now you visited me!
Today, I am a MAN.
Um, I mean, yes, thank you for visiting. Let’s never fight again.
June 14, 2012 at 11:54 am
Funny.
and Freshly Pressed. Congrats.
June 14, 2012 at 12:06 pm
This so reminds me of a series of text messages I received from a guy last year after I broke things off (keep in mind we went on two dates. Yes. TWO!!)… “but why? Please come back. I love you. No. I hate you! Can’t believe you did this to me. You mean the world to me!! Can we at least be friends? Blah, blah, blah…” Your’s was a much better read than his texts. Thanks for the laugh!! PS, love the tree house!! Is there a secret handshake or password??? PSS, I’m now clicking the FOLLOW button 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Ha, ha. I just started following you. You better be as funny as your blog says you are, damn it! Just kididing . . .
June 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Oh, I’m way funnier. I’m so funny sometimes people can’t even comprehend the funniness and think I’m just being confusing.
June 14, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Dear byronic man: Your post isn’t all that great. I mean, it’s not like you received a ton of comments or anything. Well, at least you weren’t on Freshly Pressed. I’m never ironic. I’m not being ironic here. Or here. Or even here.
June 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm
OMG! The Byronic Man just got Freshly Pressed! Now isn’t that terrible…uhh…terrific… and awesome and super-cool! 😛 Congratulations!
June 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm
This is truly a great and funny blog posting with WordPress. What makes it funny is how some of us seem to be caught up in the “numbers game.” I no longer gage the so-called success of my own blog with WordPress based on how many “Likes” I get or for that matter my daily “hit count.” I have found that my WordPress blog which just hit over 25,000 hits has about six faithful followers, whom I have gotten to know well thru their own blogs. Truthfully, I take quality over quanity any day. Some of these members with 1263 followers and counts of made up numbers into well over 100,000 hits are dealing in another reality in their own minds, as to the worth of their individual blogs Lol! My own personal goal, if my spiritually-centered poetry dealing with my own personal journey in life helps but one person, I am a happy camper!
June 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm
I agree – it’s impressive what good, quality people you can find.
Though a little “quantity” now and again can be nice, too…
June 15, 2012 at 6:12 am
I agree. I attended a Rotary installation dinner last night. Though I am not a member (my wife is a charter member) I have know members of this group over twenty years. They fall into the quanity group.
June 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Wow! You are FP!!! Take that Nasty Un-follower!!! Well said!
June 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm
I know; doesn’t he/she feel dumb!
June 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Hopefully so!
June 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Hey, I doubt you’ll see this but…CONGRATS B-man!!! I’m thinking this will keep your followers on the uptick for awhile…
June 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Thanks!
June 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I’ve wanted to write a similar comment, but to the very few people who DO occasionally “like” my posts or follow my blog. My posts range from extremely esoteric personal journals of what chord modulation I used last night and hockey. Who in their right mind would “like” a post that consists of either (or sometimes both):
1) “I’m in seven flats somehow, and I think I’d like to get back to F minor and 6/8 at some point.”
2) Hockey game highlights.
Seriously, who other than me cares about diminished seventh chords and someone’s goals-against average? At the same time? And I don’t even have comments turned on.
So in the end, I’m more curious about the 17 weirdos who follow me than anyone who would unfollow. And I think there are just people who wander around randomly clicking “like” on posts in the hopes that it will bump up their own readership.
June 15, 2012 at 12:48 am
I’ve often wondered about the random likes/new readership link.
June 14, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Congrats on the FP’d post, Bryonic. This is a classic and I don’t k now why it took them so long to Press it.
June 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm
It needed to breathe, like wine. Or a stuffy room.
June 14, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Funny stuff. Glad I found your blog!
June 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Hey. Just saw this post was Freshly Pressed…it’s about bloody time.
Congrats, Byronic!
June 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Thanks for saying so!
June 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Oh, thank the Jaysus this post got Freshly Pressed. Take consolation in the fact (is it a fact if I make it up?) that the “person” who un-followed you was probably just a SPAMbot. It was just trying to sell your readers Cialis or Disney books anyways 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Wait, you know where I can score some Cialis??
June 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Byronic Man, you never fail to amuse me… you definitely deserve to be Freshly Pressed! 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm
i will totally take his/her place and follow you!
June 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Beautifully written. May I borrow it if I get un-followed?
Congrats on Freshly Pressed!
June 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm
I had to wait before commenting: had to stop laughing first! Congratulations on being freshly pressed! And thanks for this hilarious post.
June 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Well, you gained a follower, Byronic Man. Thanks! I enjoyed that!
June 14, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I’ve never been unsubscribed. I’ve unsubscribed before, but never had it happen to me. But, you dear fellow, have earned yourself a subscriber! Has a wise old man once said, when a door is closed, a window shall be opened! Yeah, i don’t know who said that 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Too freaking funny.
June 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm
This is hysterical. I read a lot of funny blogs that make me chuckle, but this made me laugh out loud all the way through. possibly because I totally get it. I have become obsessed with my stats, like, followers, unfollowers and commenters. I check my stats upteen times a day sometimes.
However- i’m not very tech savvy and I realized one day that I had inadvertently unfollowed a few people. I felt Soooooo bad. I wanted to write them a personal letter of apology. Maybe your unfollower feels bad too or just doesn’t realize what they did (that’s it I’m sure)
June 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm
I love this, I don’t know you at all, from Tom’s house cat or anything and I don’t want to laugh at the pain you’re in or anything, this is hilarious though!! Loved it! Now following!
June 14, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Reblogged this on Kmareka.com and commented:
Funny!
June 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Oh, this is depressingly spot-on!
June 14, 2012 at 1:19 pm
How dare they unfollow you, fellow blogger. After all, somebody who has your sense of humor AND who got Freshly Pressed is worthy of being followed, in my book. P.S. If you still want the FBI, I know people who know people at the FBI. (Yes, really.) Love your blog.
June 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Where have you been all my blogging life??? In stitches…nice one! Now I’m hopping on your bandwagon….yeehaw!!!
June 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm
You sir have gained my attention. Do not be frightened for I shall follow! Oh.. I will follow you. Ye shall not be frightened young sir!!
June 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Being unfollowed is indeed harsh. Yet, you have almost 1,000 more followers than I do, so what are you complaining about 🙂 But I bet that being Freshly Pressed will bring in a few more, so maybe you’ll get over this harsh treatment you’ve received. Congrats.
June 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Oh, my Goddess! This is far beyond priceless! I have only had a WordPress blog since March of this year, and so far, no one has un-followed or unsubscribed, although it is a thought, from time to time. Now I know what to write to them! Ha, Ha!! Seriously, I promise I shall refrain from plagiarizing. Thank you, Byronic Man!
June 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm
haha, thanks for writing this, it really cheered me up! I will totally follow 😀
June 14, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Laugh out loud delightful. Time to join your throngs of literary appreciators.
June 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Your post convinced me to follow you, and never unfollow! 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Maybe.. just maybe, they only unfollowed because they realized that this was so much their favorite place on the interwebs that it belonged in their favorites and with it in their favorites and with the way they must, probably, might have, have surely checked every single day (maybe several times or even sat there hitting refresh every five minutes) there was just no reason to keep you as a ‘follow’. Maybe you’re just being pessimistic to think it was abandonment instead of upgraded to a whole new level of fandom, perhaps even obsession.. ooooo.. preen and strut! You might have a stalker! ;p
June 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I don’t pay attention to followers on my blog. However Facebook is the more interesting one as I’ve lost a lot of friends on there because of my political posts.
Best comment I saw regarding Godfather III is this one:
“Lose George Hamilton and shoot Sofia Coppola in the first reel. There’s a decent movie in there struggling to get out.”
And I couldn’t agree more with that assessment!
June 14, 2012 at 1:59 pm
You’re so silly. I want to follow you and then unfollow you later just to mess with your head! >:) But that would be mean. 😦 I shouldn’t be mean.
I should just leave a nice comment and leave you alone. 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Awesome post! I love it!
… following your blog …
June 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm
this post just made me follow you 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 2:02 pm
ROTFL – I clicked on this from the dashboard and went “HUH!? I’m not subscribed any more!?!” and thought “holy cow he means me” (yeah cos it’s alllll about me ..pfft!) and then realised I’d not logged in .. One of the faithful here :-p
Well done on freshly pressed! How exciting! 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Hilarious! I love the part about writing about the “immortal words of Thoreau.” I’m always worried I get too introspective or too fluffy on my blog! Great work!
Cheers,
Courtney Hosny
http://www.oneweektocrazy.com
June 14, 2012 at 2:19 pm
“COME BACK AND JUST LET ME LOVE YOU!”
June 14, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Ha! Ha! That cat picture was preeetttyyy funny. Following until I suddenly, unceremoniously, decide not to.
June 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm
That cat picture is one of my two go-to pics. I laugh every time I look at it.
June 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Can’t help but love your wandering worries regarding your “un-following” public (or individual as it were).. I know whenever someone “un-follows me” on Twitter, I wonder the same kind of things…or did they get pissed off when I made fun of Angelina Jolie and the whole “LEG” thing on the Oscars (or whatever award show that was)? Or, maybe, they didn’t like my blathering all over the place about how I HATE NBC for cancelling “Harry’s Law”, which still makes NO SENSE since it was their 2nd highest rated show (of their scripted series, I believe)…
But anywho, thanks for sharing your neuroses regarding whomever had the AUDACITY to cut you out of their circle of cyber friends…
TenaciousBitch/KS…
P.S. The only time I “un-followed” someone was a woman on gather.com who uploaded 3 or 4 posts/day, and the announcements of her posts were clogging up my yahoo account to the point that I couldn’t find REALLY important emails like, you know, BANK ALERTS that my balance in my checking account had gotten below $50 and such…
June 14, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I just started blogging (sort of, I mean, I started the blog a few months ago, but…oh never mind). It’s both encouraging and disturbing to know that the self-doubt doesn’t go away. Hilarious post, and hilarious comments!
June 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Great post! Stumbled upon your blog on the WordPress main page! x
June 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Aw. I hope it helped that I clicked the “like” button…?
June 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Fear not! I immediately subscribed in the hopes of alleviating the pain and anguish this heartless un-follower caused you. Also, your blog rocks, and I might never have read it, had it not been for this post. Win-win situation!
June 14, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Genius. Too genius. High five for hitting FP too, woop woop!
June 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Congrats on being FP! I love that you said “hilariouser,” that’s so, I don’t know how else to put this, so hilarious! Thanks for the smiles. Cheers!
June 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm
This makes me want to follow you just to unfollow you later. 🙂 Then I get my own personal blog post as well.
June 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm
hahaha…love this! especially your tomfoolery photo captions, eh? with writing like that, you’ve gained a new follower!
June 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Thank you so very much!!!
June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm
This is awkward because I did unsubscribe but I never thought it would hurt your feelings 😦
June 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm
First of all Congrats on ‘Freshly Pressed’ you certainly deserve it.
I just love this post it’s so funny and sadly true sigh sniff sniff
What a great writer you are. I am a follower now and won’t unsubscirbe – promise
As an afterthougtht maybe they unsubscribed because they are dead? Their relatives might have cleaned out their internet. It might not be you at all. Ha ha cheers Judy
judysp.wordpress.com
June 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm
LOL that’s all I gotta say….
June 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Coming back for more of this. Definitely. Love it!
You think this is the start of a beautiful friendship? 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 7:47 pm
I’m confident of it.
June 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm
It will be okay. Maybe you just need some banana taffy and a hug? Or, maybe some Valium?
June 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Well the idiot who unfollowed you was just replaced by me (and I’m sure an additional 240+ people)! 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Well this is the first blog of yours I read, and I laughed hysterically. All of our “obsessing” about comments and followers. Yesterday, someone criticized my writing and remained anonymous! Gasp 🙂
It’s great to meet you and your sense of humor. Will follow!
June 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I must admit I was little peaved that Angie and Melissa both got bumped off of FP today (it seems a little soon?), but when saw that both you AND Jules got put there AND Angie is okay with it AND they pulled this out of the vault (geez! May 1?), I’m like, “Why the heck am I NOT following this guy?” So consider it done. I’m in. And I don’t un-follow. You might not even notice my little blip, but *blip* there it is.
June 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm
hmmmmmmmmmmm I can be a follower depend on My believe . if deserve to follow ?
June 14, 2012 at 4:00 pm
I did just subscribe, but I’m not the one who unsubscribed, just to be clear. That last section reminds me of Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes obviously) and his “No Girls Allowed” tree fort. He’s always yelling down at Suzy about how gross she is and how much fun him and Hobbes are having, and then she walks away and he stops having fun. Not that you think girls are gross or talk to stuffed animals… I digress. Glad to be a subscriber!
June 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Hmmm, that phrase….. That one under the old timey photo…. You know the one, you wrote it after all. Ummm, isn’t that a line Hugh Laurie once used in A Bit of Fry and Laurie? It was perfect for the point you were making.
June 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Hm, I don’t know. Certainly possible. I hope I didn’t accidentally plagiarize…
June 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm
This is clever writing. I like it. It’s like a conversation and funny too!
June 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Perhaps the lack of brevity was a motivating factor.
June 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Don’t let it bother you Byronic, just use your super-leaping power (with sound effects) and try to get over it. 😉 If that doesn’t work, tear off his arm like a Big Foot!
June 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm
I try not to watch my stats…but then I log on and I check email and Facebook and work stuff and Yahoo and Google and I don’t look at the WordPress tab and then I do and then I don’t and then I look away again and I prepare to put my Mac to sleep and then I just cannnnn’t resissst and I look… and then some days I’m happy and some days I’m sad and some days I feel worthy and some days I feel useless and it’s all that strange little stat. My son says 100 people can say something good to you and then one person is mean and that is all you think about the entire day. Stats stats go away come back BIGGER another day! Loved your post. I’m about to push the FOLLOW button so log on later and let us know how many you gained by losing one. 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Oh my god, you are effing hysterical. : D
June 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Hahahahahaha! Ok, I laughed out loud and woke the baby. So clearly I need to follow you for future baby-waking posts…
June 14, 2012 at 5:21 pm
After a zillion brilliant and hilarious posts, you’re finally on Freshly Pressed! Couldn’t be happier – rock on Byronic!
June 14, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Man I was so laughing while reading this article! Haha! I like your sense of humor.
June 14, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Reblogged this on Random Thoughts from the Cube Dude and commented:
Never…ever…ever…unfollow someone. Ever. Because this is what that person goes through losing an online friend.
June 14, 2012 at 5:53 pm
You may have lost one, but you gained another! Totally gonna follow you! (in a non-creepish sorta kinda way…..I LOVE YOU!!….anyway…
June 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm
At last! All these blog posts trying to win your love, and FINALLY.
June 14, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Genius. Absolutely genius.
June 14, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Hilarious stuff, man!
June 14, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Reblogged this on simply frances.
June 14, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Hey, you got on Freshly Pressed; soon you’ll have 5K new followers.
June 14, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Lol! Exactly how i feel in the case of someone who unfollowed me but irl.
June 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm
I go out of my way to offend. Unsubscribers never reveal their motives just like bad milk never tells you it’s stale. You have to pour it out and drink it to find out. Great post.
June 14, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Im following you now so may be you can get back to being happy and write one in my honor it seems unfair that the person who unfollowed you get one and I don’t 😛
June 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Is it Byronic that I found and will now follow your blog because of this post? 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 6:44 pm
oh wow, I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog. How entertaining!! This post had me laughing, so hard. My blog is called ‘REFLECTIONS’ … You should stop by sometime. I will be following you, though. I like the humor concept you have going on … a good laugh is so needed sometimes. Your notifications of new posts won’t bother me one bit 😉 Can’t wait to read more.
June 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm
Humor beyond repair!
I know how ya feel … stings, doesn’t it!
Trying to heal your wound so I subscribed. Believe me, though—never shall I hit that unsubscribe button. Can’t take another session like this!
Peace,
Alexandria
June 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm
LOLLLLL!!!!!!! This was hilarious, I had to share this. 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Loved this. Great post!
June 14, 2012 at 7:24 pm
I decided to visit a few of the Freshly Pressed and noticed yours right away. At first I was just going to back page to home page . Then I thought “what the heck’ I can just “like” his blog. Then I thought, “should I “follow” omigosh if I “follow” do I have to make a commitment to read it everyday?Then there is the email overload I might get from following too many blogs. Oh my gosh… I can’t decide.
Ok, I decided.
I’ll start this little commitment by just “liking” you and your facebook page. THEN, I don’t have to worry about “unfollowing” you and causing any harm . AND you would never know that I was gone,Heh, heh.
Btw, nice blog.
June 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Maybe there is such a thing as an X-File group at WordPress and they are tapped into people’s lives in such a way that… the dude who unsubscribed didn’t in fact unsubscribe. He died. And his death was instantly recorded at WP thus making your follower number drop by a digit. Poor guy. Never saw it coming. Hope you feel utterly guilty now. Oh well, sweet dreams with your ghosts!
June 14, 2012 at 7:50 pm
I loved this. Kind of sad that the guy who “unfollowed” you won’t know that you posted it, so won’t get to read it. Of course, he might see it on the “Freshly Pressed” page and wonder if he’s THE ONE. He’ll, no doubt, agonize over whether the letter is really written to him or not, and, after a while, go back onto your blog in order to ask you — or — better yet — in order to defend himself. That’s when you respond: “Gotcha!”
Congrats on being “Freshly Pressed.”
June 14, 2012 at 7:59 pm
This is the most awesome thing I have ever read. I hope I can one day be as clever and great as you clearly are. Long live The Byronic Man!
June 14, 2012 at 7:59 pm
Do you actually get a notification if someone “un-follows” you? I’ve never had that experience…
Is it horrible if I want to follow you, and then unfollow you, and then silently snicker to myself about contributing to a fellow blogger’s neurosis? ;p
June 14, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Ha I just received my first ‘unfollow’ recently. Glad to see your post about it. I don’t want to be over-dramatic but I felt like a relationship had just ended. I was pretty upset about the whole thing. But then again, I think I know why they unfollowed. It was all my fault.
June 14, 2012 at 8:18 pm
maybe mr./ms. unfollower died laughing, and you were simply a loose end that a conscientious family member tidied up.
June 14, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Ibhave 2 friends in the fbi, if you need a reference…
June 14, 2012 at 8:39 pm
I was that guy once (the unfollower, not the unfollowed– I don’t have enough followers to be unfollowed, and my dad wouldn’t dare to unfollow me). I really feel bad now. And it is only appropriate that “Time To Say Goodbye” is playing on my Pandora right now. I need to go find the person I unfollowed and follow them again… anywher they may take me.
June 14, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Great humourous read !
June 14, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Very, very funny! You put into words all that I have been thinking. Thanks for helping me “get it all out” with such drama too. Look forward to more posts to come.
You Matter! Smiles, Nancy
June 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Entertaining post! One last laughing spell before bedtime. Thanks.
June 14, 2012 at 9:48 pm
OK…I will subscribe. I am a new follower, so I have yet to unsubscribe. I reserve the right to unsubscribe at such time you become too lame for me, too cool for me, or a 20-sided die is rolled and turns up the same value on 3 consecutive alternating Tuesdays (It’s probably gonna be the “too cool” reason.) at which time I will re-read this post.
June 14, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Since you have 200+ comments and I have 5 minutes, I’ll simply propose what others may or may not have already mentioned along the way: I’ve noticed that certain bloggers like to be followed but don’t follow back. I don’t know if you happen to be one of these people, but if you are, that may be why you lost someone.
June 15, 2012 at 5:18 am
Oh, I definitely have a list of blogs that send me in to a panic periodically, trying to keep up with them.
June 14, 2012 at 10:17 pm
This was too funny. Really creative bit on losing someone you didn’t even know. Reminds of something that would happen on a Jerry Seinfeld episode.
June 14, 2012 at 10:28 pm
I am totally embarrassed about following you now… but does this mean I get chocolates on valentines day?
June 14, 2012 at 10:37 pm
I rarely laugh reading a blog, actually (most of it I just don’t understand what they’re talking about. Call me stupid :/). But this is HILARIOUS! Lol.
I don’t know about this follow and unfollow thing, never care much (or there’s A FEW people reading my blog, so I don’t know how it’s like, having many followers), but you make a good point. There must be something wrong. But gotta tell you one thing, if the unfollower is a woman, it may happen because of hormone (I have done that…but not with a blog). You might get her back..I said ‘might’..though.
June 14, 2012 at 10:41 pm
This post is hilarious! I don’t know if I would notice if someone un-followed me but I do get a bit sad when I only have a few dozen visits somedays. Then those days where I have hundreds of views from so many countries I am on cloud nine. I can only hope one day to be freshly pressed. It would be wonderful! Congrats 🙂
June 14, 2012 at 11:01 pm
damn. *tears flowing down my cheeks* 😦
June 14, 2012 at 11:09 pm
I may choose never to follow…if this is where it leads.
June 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm
thank you for that hilarious laugh! But really, that iphone is so tiny and sometimes your finger grazes that top circle and it unfollows people–it’s either a straight line or a check mark. maybe that person accidentally hit that??
June 14, 2012 at 11:30 pm
This is an awesome blog Byronic keep up with the interestingly interesting post.Cheers!
June 14, 2012 at 11:31 pm
I have unfollowed people in FB but will never do in WP! Great read……
June 14, 2012 at 11:33 pm
I LOVED THIS! The voice I had imagined in my head with this letter seemed very fitting, especially when it came to the tree house part. Please subscribe back and send some of your tree house Frinds my way, I just made this one! Thanks in advance!
June 14, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Hilarious! You’ve found a new follower! Just don’t piss me off, ok? 😉
June 14, 2012 at 11:54 pm
I just discovered someone with my sense of humor! I’m serious. I started reading this and remembered some of my crazy little rants that made people laugh! It’s a great way to seriously question something while at the same time finding something funny to take your mind off the “why.” It really has gotten obssessive though, hasn’t it? Unlike, unfollow, unfriend, and next thing you know “everyone hates me.” Keep up the humor. I’ll follow you’re blog until someone better comes along…or I show my humorous side on my blog. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m stealing your bit. 😉
June 15, 2012 at 12:06 am
Don’t feel bad, Byronic, if this video is true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhtgINeaJWg then you probably just unfollowed yourself (or a billion of your atoms did). 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 12:15 am
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
awesome post that is full of humor!
June 15, 2012 at 12:17 am
What a positive way to response to an ‘unfollow’. After reading this, I am sure that they will come back!
June 15, 2012 at 12:33 am
Badass man. You’re so funny! LOL
June 15, 2012 at 12:51 am
Post freely and forget about the followers .
June 15, 2012 at 12:57 am
I decided to follow you… just before you write something about me for not following you 🙂
That was really cool!
June 15, 2012 at 12:58 am
You’re funny, so I’ll follow you
June 15, 2012 at 1:03 am
Very funny!
June 15, 2012 at 1:03 am
your full of thoughts byronic man 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 1:06 am
Hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned!! It’s not them, Byronic, it’s you 😉
Thankfully, there are plenty more fish on the world wide web.
June 15, 2012 at 1:26 am
Really, its very hard time when someone your own step out from you, you have narrated all the things in all possible views and it happens, +ve as well as -ve…White one…
June 15, 2012 at 1:44 am
Really funny! Keep it up! Try to write 5 more entries about this unsubscriber of yours so he feels guilty.
June 15, 2012 at 1:53 am
I love your sense of humor Byronic Man! Great post!
June 15, 2012 at 1:59 am
I just followed you. hmmm, now i have the urge to unfollow you so you could write a letter to me too. lol
June 15, 2012 at 1:59 am
Well, after reading and so much respecting your writing style and wit, I thought, “Why would I unfollow someone?”
The answer came back a resounding, “THERE ARE NEARLY 5000 e-mails in my inbox and i can’t read them all; something’s gotta give (like the fun movie!)”
So, it wasn’t a matter of hurting or inconveniencing you, it makes my life less complicated and every now and then, I have to do something for me.
June 15, 2012 at 2:07 am
The FIRST thing to come to mind was the erasure of 5000 e-mails from my inbox, yesterday. It would have had NOTHING to do with the quality of your writing, nor the subject material, your humor or your wit.
It was about me (assuming I was the one who ‘unfriended’ you). There comes a point in everyone’s life where he HAS to look out for himself, something I RARELY do, but is necessary so much more often.
Seriously, you’re NOT trying to decide WHAT someone else (whom you don’t know) had on his mind?
June 15, 2012 at 2:17 am
You lose one, you win one 😉 (me)
June 15, 2012 at 2:22 am
Reblogged this on My Thoughts and commented:
a totally cool blog i wanted to share.
June 15, 2012 at 3:04 am
While I totally get your point, I’ve come to terms with the unfollow thing. My motto is: there’s seven billion people in this great world. I’m sure I can live without you.”
val
http://valentinedefrancis.blogspot.com
June 15, 2012 at 3:12 am
There can never be enough Simpsons references! I dropped a Rancho Relaxo reference into one of my latest posts simply because my mind works in Simpsons quotes.
Fantastic post!
June 15, 2012 at 5:12 am
Well, you can’t spell “Relaxo” without “relax.”
June 15, 2012 at 3:14 am
In the word’s of Shaggy “wasn’t me!” I am now an avid follower! Thought you might like this: http://youtu.be/2g5Hz17C4is
June 15, 2012 at 3:30 am
I’m just guessing….but the gazillion new followers via a FP is not going to make up for that one break up is it? – maybe their cat died, or maybe they….oh God it’s almost too awful to contemplate…..maybe they are someone who has decided to go cold turkey and ween themselves off the internet to go outside into the fresh air and talk face to face with actual people – arrrrghhh! no, you’re better off without them, it wasn’t you, it was them – they just didn’t deserve you.
June 15, 2012 at 5:11 am
That’s the only reasonable assumption, isn’t it?
June 15, 2012 at 3:59 am
Hey, you may have lost one follower, but you just gained a hundred more, including me!
Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
🙂
June 15, 2012 at 4:36 am
LOL love it!
On a related note, I find it most amusing when people who never followed me back on Twitter post messages about me unfollowing them…
June 15, 2012 at 4:55 am
That was an awesome post. Probably shouldn’t have read it at work… now my coworkers are throwing conspicuous glances in my direction. But yes – absolute great. Is it bad that I can relate? I know I die a little inside every time I lose a follower (whether on Twitter or WP or anywhere else), and I’d be all, “Why? What did I ever do to you?!”
I wish they could at least make the person answer a question before they unfollow a blog. A simple “Why are you unfollowing this blog?” would’ve worked wonders on obsessive people who are eaten up by not knowing why they’ve been unfollowed. *totally not talking about herself*
June 15, 2012 at 5:00 am
Byronic man, I feel an itch to subscribe and unsubscribe now 😛 Should I subscribe though? Will you follow me too? Even if you don’t read a thing on my blog? 😛
June 15, 2012 at 5:09 am
Definitely.
June 15, 2012 at 5:12 am
done 😉
June 15, 2012 at 5:09 am
Loved your post, dear! I’m gonna follow you, and will make sure that i never ‘Un-follow’:)
June 15, 2012 at 5:13 am
First, congrats on the Freshly Pressed status…it’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Now, as a fellow writer of “letters” such as this one, I have to say…hilarious. I loved the bouncing back and forth between emotions. I’m sure you’ll be busy replying to comments for awhile, but when you get a chance, hop over to my page. If you like the kind of humor that you just wrote above (and I assume you do, since you wrote it), I recently wrote two similar letters that I think you’ll enjoy.
June 15, 2012 at 5:14 am
How come WordPress doesn’t have an “Unfollowers Widget” that would list those jumping ship in the sidebar so the legions of faithful followers can know who to shun and taunt?
June 15, 2012 at 5:19 am
That is hilarious! Well done…fabulous blog and one I bet we all identify with!! Ha Ha. Love it.
June 15, 2012 at 5:25 am
AWWW…i loved reading it!!!!!Wonder who is “The mystery follwer”……..
It’s surprising how it took me so long to stumble upon your blog…but it’s amazing.
June 15, 2012 at 5:28 am
never gonna un-follow you!
June 15, 2012 at 5:28 am
So Jules,,sent me over here,,after hearing how super awesome you are on her blog. .And,,now you have put so much DAMN PRESSURE ON ME. i feel I must follow,,I wouldn’t want you to feel bad,,that I looked and didn’t follow,,I hate hurting peoples feelings, and I really wouldn’t want you going all suicidal and shit because I didn’t follow,,,,especially since your going all FBI bar hopping and I’m so sure your gonna be BB with one of them,,and then I just know you will hunt me down in my home country in Canada,(,I mean we live in igloo’s just how hard could it be to find me), and then you will hold me against my will until I hit the follow button anyway right?
Crap,,now I’m really scared,,,,
June 15, 2012 at 5:35 am
Social media does not guarantee a permanent captive audience or a proactive one….most everyone will pause for a side show…and move on.
June 15, 2012 at 5:45 am
I love it, now that you’ve been Freshly Pressed it’s like Karma is making up for your heartbreaking misfortune of being unfollowed… I don’t know what I would do? Probably cry at first… then experience the other stages of loss in some random order. Good on yah, I had a good chuckle this morning reading this. Consider me a new follower 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 5:53 am
I find it pretty interesting and witty as well. 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 5:53 am
Oh I so “like” this! It is genius! I love it! You have me laughing out loud! You had me at “ a letter to the person who un-floowed me” omgosh this is so funny! Thankyou for making us all laugh so much! 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 5:58 am
Reblogged this on db's Blog and commented:
I hope I don’t have to send a letter like this
June 15, 2012 at 5:59 am
On the plus side, at least you have the followers to be in a position to unfollow you. Better to have blogged and lost then to have blogged and never have been read. That’s a saying, right?
As for me, I don’t need the infamy of READERS. My stuffed animals are by my side and that’s all the support I need.
June 15, 2012 at 6:01 am
You, my fellow blogger, are hilarious. Love that last photo caption…”…and we’ll be all, ‘Sorry, it’s only for subscribers.'” LOL!! What does it feel like to have 530 + likes and nearly 300 comments on a single post? You really hit the nail on the head (damn!) because anyone who’s ever blogged feels your pain.
Thanks for the laugh. 😉
June 15, 2012 at 6:08 am
I know! That Like/comment count is crazy. It’s a little staggering.
Thanks for reading.
June 15, 2012 at 6:12 am
Anytime you good looking thing. It’s a shame you’re in Oregon! LOL!!
June 15, 2012 at 6:06 am
In words I heard far too many times in adolesence: “It’s not you. It’s me.”
Sorry. Couldn’t resist. Good, humorous blog. Very much enjoyed it.
June 15, 2012 at 6:17 am
I am fairly new here so what happens – does your whole system shut down with a message Zing is not longer following you or what?
Is it dangerous because if I have unfollowed anybody please forgive me it was a mistake!
June 15, 2012 at 6:51 am
No, you just suddenly notice that your “Follows” number has gone down one after obsessively tracking it.
June 15, 2012 at 8:32 am
OK now I feel at ease I thought I had to close my blog and start a new one because I might have offended somebody up there
🙂
June 15, 2012 at 6:58 am
I just un-followed a couple of blogs. You made the cut. Congratulations.
June 15, 2012 at 7:11 am
You are the first blog to make me laugh. Very well said. My blog has just started to take off and I get so excited to see the likes and follows. I notice some eople who left ‘likes’ don’t stop by as much and I feel the pressure to be witty and entertaining so they keep coming back. Now I think OH GOD does WP show UNFOLLOWS… I would be devistated 😦
June 15, 2012 at 7:18 am
Here you go, then. Here are a few followers to take his place. You should rent a bigger tree. 😉
June 15, 2012 at 7:34 am
It wasn’t me, I swear it! Just in case, though, I started following you again.
June 15, 2012 at 7:34 am
lol! perfect saturday morning reading. thanks for the laughs…
June 15, 2012 at 7:43 am
I wouldn’t worry if someone unfollowed a blog like yours! They are missing some good blogging. Wouldn’t you agree?
June 15, 2012 at 7:49 am
Reblogged this on peterleeper.
June 15, 2012 at 7:51 am
So funny! Now you have yet another follower.
June 15, 2012 at 7:51 am
Ha! I recently “un-followed” about 10-15 blogs myself. I have the need to compulsively read every single post of the bloggers I follow. But there are so many cool blogs out there and I kept subscribing and subscribing until I wound up backlogged with 800 bloggy emails isitting in my inbox, at which point I realized I probably needed an intervention of some sort….or to get a life of my own.
I’m a binge/purge reader.
Maybe that’s what happened to your unfollower.
June 15, 2012 at 7:56 am
This post was pretty fantastic. You might be rather fantastic. I think I want to buy you a drink or bake you cookies or something.
It has been decided: I need to follow you now.
June 15, 2012 at 7:57 am
B-Man, love this post. Funny, but not with overly-done lit references. Well, not too overly-done. Um, maybe a bit much on the Thoreau and Toqueville.
Okay, I can’t take it any longer. I’m gonna admit it:
SO SORRY I UN-FOLLOWED YOU!
I feel really bad, now. Following back. 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 8:11 am
Just what I need on a wet Summers Friday afternoon…..well, it is Ireland!
We have the great good fortune to have Joseph O’Connor regularly contribute articles to DriveTime on RTE Radio 1 here and your style reminds me of him…so Thank You!
We need more people like you in the world….well, not like you, but of your type…not that you are a type…but you know what i mean…hmmm..probably not!
I’m just glad you are here and I get to be the sole beneficiary of your work, when all these others (protestations to the contrary!) unfollow you!
Every best wish!
June 15, 2012 at 8:36 am
Good post made me chuckle inside.
June 15, 2012 at 8:51 am
De Toqueville has so many great one liners- even in english!
June 15, 2012 at 9:38 am
He is pretty great, isn’t he?
June 15, 2012 at 9:05 am
You’re good! Much better than my Jewish mother who could always make me feel guilty. I just want to take a moment to apologize to all those I’ve ever unfollowed. It was totally my fault.
June 15, 2012 at 9:06 am
This is one of the BEST things i have ever read! *bows* I am not worthy 🙂 I salute you my good sir *thumbs up*
June 15, 2012 at 9:32 am
Dear Byronic Man,
I just wanted to let you know that I just subscribed today to take the place of the horrible person who un-followed you. How dare they unsubscribe! What’s one more email in my inbox, it’s just one email, I’ve got room for one more from you & I can’t wait to start following you! Thanks for the great post, it made my day! http://www.nikitaland.wordpress.com
June 15, 2012 at 9:36 am
SO, I’m new here (as of two days ago) and it took me about an hour of scrolling just to find this spot to leave a comment.. and truthfully, I can’t quite remember the thing i was going to say.
I suppose a simple AMAZING would suffice. i definately enjoyed reading this.
(oh wait, i remember)
I had chosen to pick one random blog to read through to see if I was doing it right. Seems I picked a great one, possible too great. I love this and look foward to reading more.
1up on your followers C:
June 15, 2012 at 9:13 pm
Well, thanks for coming by, even randomly.
June 15, 2012 at 9:39 am
Great post! You’re a funny guy. 😉
June 15, 2012 at 9:42 am
This is one of the funniest things I’ve read! Thank you! 😀
June 15, 2012 at 9:45 am
Ain’t no aggression like passive aggression 🙂
Good stuff.
June 15, 2012 at 9:59 am
Hilarious. Lol.
June 15, 2012 at 10:01 am
Absolutely brilliant.
June 15, 2012 at 10:02 am
I feel like we’re a match made in blog heaven, and I will follow you 😉 ~ Meow
June 15, 2012 at 10:07 am
Hey, it was an accident, OK? A slip of a nervous digit. That’s all! Eaaasy now, big guy. Deeeeeep breath…another…deeeeeep…attaboy. In fact, it was a slip of the same damned digit that hit “follow” first, but I got used to you. You’re funny, mostly…I mean most of the time, Can’t win ;em all, right? In fact, it was when I was laffing so hard at what I considered your funniest yet that my finger did it’s spastic little dance and…ooops…
June 15, 2012 at 10:12 am
NOW I know why my blog will never appear on the ‘freshly pressed’ page on wordpress. All I can do is aspire to be like you and promise never to unfollow!
How do you follow on this thing anyway….?
June 15, 2012 at 10:19 am
Freshly pressed brought me here, but your desperation kept me. Needy is good?!?
June 15, 2012 at 10:42 am
Wow, you’re pretty freaking funny. I was albe to laugh at your blog while my children threw their syrup-covered plates all over my kitchen…so I suppose the fact that I must, now, mop my kitchen floor is your fault…and also why I can’t read tons of your past posts. Boo.
June 15, 2012 at 9:07 pm
Sorry. I’ll come right over and help. You read.
June 15, 2012 at 11:48 am
Hey Byronic Man.
your post was hilarious. but it kinda scared me too. I have just started my blog a few hours back. not to mention “ZERO” followers n subscribers Do people even Un-Subscribe???God.. now dats heartbreaking n too RUDE…
well loved your post.
June 15, 2012 at 9:06 pm
It’s not that common. No need to panic.
June 15, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Even if it’s not funny, it’s certainly something to read.
June 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Reblogged this on A FRESH START.
June 15, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Mr Byronic Man. Let’s keep things in perspective here. If someone unfollows me, then I will have, let me see from my latest count, uhmmm… I will have about ZERO followers. I better not start wondering about this.
June 15, 2012 at 9:02 pm
My advice? Write a post about getting unfollowed, then get it freshly pressed. Wow. This has been super cool.
June 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm
This is absolutely hilarious. You tapped into a world of insecurities…Great job!
June 15, 2012 at 3:45 pm
first off…I am not sure you will reply back to my comment here, but I am crossing my fingers!!! this was the best post I read on freshly pressed…omg i loved it!!! so funny and entertaining..I am sure the person who unfriended you def came back. lol. good job. and GREAT POST!!!!
i love you (haha)
June 15, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Thanks, I really appreciate the comment!
And the love, of course.
June 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Congrats on being pressed.
June 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm
bet after freshly pressed you’ll get 10 followers for every un-follower you have 🙂
June 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I followed you, but don’t worry, if I decide I don’t like your blog, I am too passive-aggressive to unsubscribe. I’ll just ignore your posts in my reader instead. Thanks for the laugh on a day I really needed it.
June 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm
So happy for your FP! Congrats!
June 15, 2012 at 8:58 pm
Thanks! The irony of getting all these new followers from a post about being unfollowed is almost vertigo-inducing.
June 17, 2012 at 5:37 am
Do a post on losing a bunch of money. Then maybe you’ll win the lottery!
June 15, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Man, now I’m curious about the de Toqueville quote.
June 15, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Oh, it was sublime.
June 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm
This makes me laugh. I’m pretty sure all bloggers (and all types of writers for that matter) are obsessive and overly critical.
June 15, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Even though you already have WAY too many people “liking” your post which has probably swollen your head to sans-hat proportions, and even though I sprained my bird-finger scrolling down here to have my say (the point of which I’ve now completely forgotten – hey, I’m old – it happens), I’m going to jump on the dreaded band-wagon and like you some more. In fact, I think I might even (ugh) follow you because I hate hate hate to miss things and ….oh crap…where was I? I’m sure there are more born-again-followers in the hoard who beat me to the comment thing, but, just this once, I don’t care, and I’ll tell you why. It’s your spelling. It’s glorious!
June 15, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Wait, my spelling is really glorious? Or there are typos… Because I’ll cry if this post got FP, and there are typos.
And I can always get new, bigger hats.
June 15, 2012 at 5:46 pm
You know I’ve always had the same conversation, usually in my head, about the people who choose to leave my blog. Great post and congrats on being freshly pressed!
June 15, 2012 at 5:58 pm
Reblogged this on kimmblog.
June 15, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Reblogged this on Dancing in the Storms.
June 15, 2012 at 7:31 pm
I could see John Cleese developing a comic routine around this post. Thoughts of “Fawlty Towers” and stale reruns of “Monty Pythons Flying Circus” passed through my brain.
But another part of me is saying, hey, that’s life. Blog subscribers come and go. I’ve lost them too–on to greener blogs… c’est la vie. Bon voyage. Bon appetite.
June 15, 2012 at 8:52 pm
NO ONE MAY LEAVE! ALL MUST LOVE ME.
Nah, I know what you mean. I always think that funny little “what? But I’m so nice!” moment is funny.
June 16, 2012 at 9:07 am
I hope no one ended up feeling guilty for unsubscribing to a blog. If people get tired of my blog, they are free to go, but be warned, they won’t get my brand of humor elsewhere…
June 15, 2012 at 7:56 pm
You just earned yourself a follower – laugh on! 😀
June 15, 2012 at 7:59 pm
There was a point where I was very overwhelmed with e-mails. Even though I had my subscriptions set up to ‘weekly’, I unsubscribed to blogs I was following to de-clutter and de-stress the overwhelming volume of my inbox. I still visited the blogs to see what they were posting, just didn’t have them coming to my inbox.
Eventually I set up my blog reader and when that happened I re-subscribed to those blogs (and a lot more) to keep everything centralized. So you never know… maybe your unsubscriber is going through something similar…
Just trying to look for a positive angle here. It’s not always about us as bloggers and what we’re putting out there (even though it is so easy for us to take it that way). It’s sometimes just about what the readers have going on in their own lives and how they are trying to re-organize how they manage things.
June 15, 2012 at 8:50 pm
I did something like that, too. There are a couple blogs I receive three times every time they post. I don’t have the heart to unfollow.
June 16, 2012 at 8:07 am
They probably are sending out posts via e-mail when they make revisions (maybe they catch typos, etc).
You can edit your e-mail subscription status to daily or weekly to reduce the e-mails and not have to unfollow. Maybe that will help!
June 15, 2012 at 8:00 pm
This is my first visit to your blog. What a great post – congratulations! Here is my problem: I want to return the favor and follow most of my followers, but my inbox is getting clogged. I don’t want to unfollow anyone, nor do I want to get a second email address just for the weekly updates. I wish WP offered the option to follow a blog and TURN OFF e-mail notifications. Any suggestions?
June 15, 2012 at 8:49 pm
It’s a toughie, isn’t it? There just isn’t time to read and respond as each blog deserves. Maybe try to get an unpaid intern to help…
June 16, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I may have found the answer. Under the settings for “Blogs I Follow” there is an option to “block all e-mail updates from blogs you are following.” I hope this means I will not be getting any updates. I want to support other bloggers & the follow button is a great way to do that, however, the e-mails are just too much. I don’t have a need for an unpaid intern because I just delete the e-mails. I’ve always thought WP should offer the options of turning off all notifications (like facebook) and I hope this is the case with the option stated above (I believe it’s new within the last month or so because I don’t remember seeing it before that time).
June 15, 2012 at 8:09 pm
This is just fiction, right? Right? No one would ever obsess over an “un-follower”, although there was this time…..
Great post!
June 15, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Oh, just fiction.
Yeah… Just fiction…
June 15, 2012 at 9:48 pm
lols thats funny and true.
June 15, 2012 at 10:01 pm
Funny post! Congratulations on making it to ‘Freshly Pressed’! 🙂
I have no idea who is following me let alone who un-followed me. If someone starts following me I actually get surprised. Who would want to read the boring stuff I churn out?
June 15, 2012 at 11:51 pm
The beauty of your un-follow post is that I wasn’t a follower and now I am! I remember learning something in university about investments and dividends… but I wasn’t very good at it. Rants about feelings of inadequacy inflicted by inanimate objects over virtual mediums though? Hells yes!
Feel free to drop by my space with your quotes, humour and insight any time.
Look forward to reading more.
June 16, 2012 at 12:08 am
Nice post.thank you for sharing.
June 16, 2012 at 1:10 am
Great post! follwing you now! 😉
June 16, 2012 at 2:27 am
So if I follow you, then unfollow you does that mean I get a letter?
June 16, 2012 at 4:50 am
I bet it was all the whining.
June 16, 2012 at 5:41 am
Had me howling with laughter! Thank you!
June 16, 2012 at 6:03 am
just read the article. funny stuff, but a bit pretentious and possibly insecure. don’t try so hard to sound clever or witty, it might leave a person feeling talked down to and ‘at’ rather than conversed ‘with’. i have this propensity as well for ‘one sided’ communication on my blog. it may be a reason it hasn’t taken off as well as i had hoped, and it may be a possible explanation for your ‘unfollow’ (but without the ‘fellow’ responding to you we might never know)
mike
June 16, 2012 at 6:10 am
Interesting!
June 16, 2012 at 6:36 am
I liked that blog it was funny! Hehehe Keep it up man that was good! Ha still laughing!
June 16, 2012 at 7:33 am
Wow! Great post: very funny,and most bloggers can relate. Guess you will have enough followers to offset your one unfollower! Count me it!
June 16, 2012 at 7:38 am
No, I am not your unfollower! I meant to say: COUNT ME IN! damn typing anyway!
June 16, 2012 at 9:00 am
Glad your post was freshly pressed so I could get a chance to read it. I loved your treatment of the topic. 🙂
June 16, 2012 at 9:25 am
Very clever! Loved this post. Thanks for sharing..
June 16, 2012 at 9:34 am
I don’t know if this was all sarcasm and snark, (you know what they say; some humor is born of truth) but I personally will unfollow someone if too many of their posts in a row don’t interest me anymore. And actually, if you are subscribed to enough ppl, in CAN get overwhelming looking through all those inbox updates. Also, I have unsubscribed to people who repeatedly don’t acknowledge comments. If I take the time to comment on someone’s stuff (again, I say “repeatedly,”) to be ignored shows a lack of appreciation to me… and most bloggers do want to get read.
June 16, 2012 at 9:44 am
Very funny! Being un-followed is the same as being dumped. Haha. Same exact emotional circle.
June 16, 2012 at 10:21 am
Great blog. Definately worth Freshly Pressed status. Inspiration to us newbies!
June 16, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Hmmm makes me think twice about making that commitment to “Follow” in the future. What if I end up on America’s most wanted list for leaving someone. HAHAHA Great post!
June 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Buahaha! Awesome post 🙂
June 16, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Hahah. Great post, man! You really captured the essential trauma of realizing someone just un-followed you. It’s a hard knock for sure.
June 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Funny, yes. Overreacting, you already know. 🙂
June 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm
it’s this post that made me follow you! so one out, one in. screw ’em.
June 16, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Wow, I’m all the way down here…. I like the blog. *raises toast*
June 16, 2012 at 6:04 pm
LOL!!! OMG! This cracked me up. You have a great writing style! Keep these great posts coming! 🙂
Congrats on being freshly pressed!
June 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm
I like this; I like this a lot. 🙂
*Follows*
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed,
Conor.
http://getyerwitsoutforthelads.wordpress.com/
June 16, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Brilliant comments, yes it makes you realise un-following is a bit like being dumped, I love your response! 😀
June 16, 2012 at 8:45 pm
It wasn’t me. I swear. This is my first visit.
June 16, 2012 at 9:59 pm
Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! It is so weird, I have only been un-followed once, and I lost four people at that one time. Note to self: Apparently talking about the Evolution of Firearms is a no-no. I will still to writing about history that offends no one, I guess….
June 17, 2012 at 8:01 am
That’s always an eye-opener, isn’t it? The “oh, I guess people didn’t like that perspective” response.
June 16, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Reblogged this on whoopeeyoo! 😀 and commented:
So damn funny! And spot on!
June 16, 2012 at 11:51 pm
“Too many Simpsons references?”
There can never be such a thing.
Thank you for a thoroughly entertaining piece and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
June 17, 2012 at 12:12 am
How dare anyone unfollow you!!! Hilarious 🙂
June 17, 2012 at 2:41 am
So funny!! Lol, this was great – totally put a smile on my face 🙂 🙂
June 17, 2012 at 2:55 am
I’m sure was a case of “it’s not you, it’s me”.
http://lostinimagination.wordpress.com/
June 17, 2012 at 5:11 am
Hey…look! Really, it’s not you … it’s me!
June 17, 2012 at 5:54 am
I un-followed someone before, but the restraining order made it essential. I will now follow you instead, right up until it gets weird and you take out a restraining order as well
June 17, 2012 at 6:26 am
A wonderfully entertaining post where someone finally puts down in words what we all think!
Congratulations, keep up the good work!!
June 17, 2012 at 6:39 am
Haha. I love how you can express this so perfectly. Well, I’m jumping on to the ‘follower’ bandwagon and I solemnly swear never to un-follow! 😀 Great post and congrats for being on Freshly Pressed!
June 17, 2012 at 8:12 am
Do you have time to read all these fantastic comments that I so agree with! lol Funny, funny post! I would be thinking the same thing! 🙂 I too will follow you because you have a great sense of humor!
June 17, 2012 at 8:41 pm
Well, I’d feel like I should read them if people take the time to write them, anyway; but do I have time to read a bunch of people saying nice things about me? Yes. Yes, I do.
June 17, 2012 at 8:47 am
Hahaha Great!!
June 17, 2012 at 8:52 am
Clever! Very funny.
June 17, 2012 at 9:02 am
Well I am going to be different and not just jump on the follower bandwagon on the strength on one post. You did make me laugh, however, so I will be checking back from time to time and perhaps in the future you may warrant a click on the subscribe button, but boy, am I going to make you work for it! 🙂
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
June 17, 2012 at 8:29 pm
EVerything after this is going to just be talking about tooth care. Favorite toothpastes, floss sequencing, etc.
June 17, 2012 at 9:10 am
“The Youtube” Life = Made.
June 17, 2012 at 10:49 am
I think I would be happy if I had enough followers that one would un-follow … I’m rather looking forward to it! Thanks for the heads up!
June 17, 2012 at 11:37 am
Histerically funny… That’s so real though when u pay attention to much to your subscriber number it does make you think like that…
June 17, 2012 at 11:39 am
Forget FBI agent dude, he was never good enough for you, I am following you now so we can look towards the future…
June 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm
This post made me laugh out loud. I haven’t read anything else you’ve written yet (and it could all be total BS), but this is enough to get me to click “follow.” You have now arrived, my friend, because I am following your blog. (JK…I’m a total nobody. But I do know Thoreau.) :o) – Amanda
June 17, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Oh, yeah, everything else is terrible. It’s mostly just complaining about the postal service and reprinting old Ziggys and Family Circuses I find funny.
June 18, 2012 at 8:15 am
In that case…I’m so in.
June 17, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I’m following you! 🙂 and I promise I won’t un follow..I don’t roll like that. hahaha, I love your writing style!
June 17, 2012 at 3:11 pm
That was great!
June 17, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Dude, you rock! Congrats on the front page feature – good stuff! 🙂
June 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm
I laughed out loud. This post was super funny! It always makes me wonder what people unfollow too. Anyway, thanks for a great post, and congrats on freshly pressed! Please check out my blog @ onlychad.wordpress.com, and if you like what you see, subscribe! Thanks
June 17, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Well that worked …how’s that tree fort looking? Full? Congrats on being FP
June 17, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Tree fort is kind of in the “planning stage”. It’s going to be amazing, though. I’ll let you know the password.
June 21, 2012 at 11:49 am
i like it a lot!
June 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm
If I start to follow and replace the un-follower will that make the universe good again? BECAUSE I’LL DO IT; I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
June 17, 2012 at 8:30 pm
How often does one get the chance to right the balance of the universe? LET’S DO THIS.
June 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm
🙂 Now you have lots more followers, so it all worked out well in the end. You won’t even miss what’s his name.
June 17, 2012 at 7:57 pm
I go through a similar thought process when I lose Twitter followers. ^_~
June 17, 2012 at 8:34 pm
maybe someone deleted their blog. ha
June 17, 2012 at 8:38 pm
No excuse!
June 17, 2012 at 8:34 pm
I am glad I stumbled upon your blog on the freshly pressed page! Due to your blog being humorous and a mini brain vacation (for me anyways), I am now following you. 😀 Looking forward to reading your future blogs!
June 17, 2012 at 8:36 pm
I think you’re pun-ny. So I’d never un-follow you.
Okay, I’d try to never un-follow you.
Fine, fine… I’d never un-follow you on days the start with “Wednes-“.
Maybe.
June 17, 2012 at 11:16 pm
So I decided , I need to “follow” you :):)
June 17, 2012 at 11:55 pm
One of my un-followers commented to tell me exactly why she was un-following. I had lost my way. I had become boring and was no longer delivering specifically what she wanted. There were other un-followers but I never forgot the one who told why. I even Googled her! Cripes. Torture. I deleted the whole post but unfortunately can’t delete the comment from memory!
June 18, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Wow, that’s pretty severe. It’s not even as if you offended the person, and they felt the need to confront you on some hateful remark you made – they just weren’t in to your blog any more.
June 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Yeah, she just wasn’t that in to me. Ah well, it happens in relationships and with blog followers LOL!
December 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Oh, lol, I had the same thing happen. How weird is that?
June 18, 2012 at 1:26 am
I might write a letter to WordPress thanking them for featuring this post on Freshly Pressed, a) because it made my day a little bit and b) because now I have an amazing new blog to follow. So much amazingness.
June 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Thanks for saying so! I’ll try to emphasize being amazing.
June 18, 2012 at 2:34 am
Hahaha great post, just for making me laugh out loud… *presses follow* 🙂
June 18, 2012 at 4:32 am
Love the post! 🙂
June 18, 2012 at 4:33 am
Reblogged this on The Book and Wisdom.
June 18, 2012 at 6:19 am
Reblogged this on alterego.
June 18, 2012 at 6:41 am
L.O.V.E this. Like all my blogger thoughts captured on “paper”. Excellent. Excellent.
June 18, 2012 at 6:56 am
Yes me too, thank you – I’ll have one of those.
June 18, 2012 at 7:48 am
Time for you to get a bigger hat! Another new subscriber has found your blog
June 18, 2012 at 10:29 am
What’s wrong with only showing half my face?
June 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I swear by it.
June 18, 2012 at 6:03 pm
Hello,
I made a rookie mistake and now I receive an email every time someone comments on this blog. It’s exciting until I realize they are just all for you. Then it’s just depressing. So I was wondering if you could be a chum and delete my dimwitted comment? I sincerely apologize for time lost. I know you’re busy being funny. I do enjoy your blog though, just for the record. Thank you! Kind regards!
June 18, 2012 at 8:01 pm
I’ll try to track it down. Just in case: it’s no longer freshly pressed, though, so the quantity of comments should drop to, oh, about nothing, in a day or so.
June 18, 2012 at 10:52 am
Excellent post, Byronic Man. You’ve just gained a new follow from me, sir. 😉 Please, do confront me if I ever am to un-follow you, not that I will be doing that any time soon, mind.
I admire your blog, it’s very good. 🙂 Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed and have a wonderful day, sir. 🙂
June 18, 2012 at 11:31 am
HYSTERICAL !!
June 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm
REALLY enjoyed your read! As someone with a smaller- but I’d argue, more intimate- circle of friends than most people, I am very conflicted about Facebook and social networking. I feel that in many ways, it has helped me to form a specific idea of how I want to viewed, maybe even remembered? How I wish to portray myself, and why. I know Facebook has also helped me be more outgoing and meet up with more people than I ever did before, because I was a little shy.
On the other hand, lots of people I know use it to compare their lives to others, which is a recipe for depression. Clearly you are experiencing some anxiety over social media in that people have “unfollowed” your blog. I will be hosting a women’s discussion group next week, on the topic of social media. I’ll post the link to the blog on it after I’ve written it up in a week or so, would love to hear more on your views!
June 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, Byronic Man!
I came across this post on another blog today and it seemed like a response to your post (other than the fact that he’s talking about a Twitter account). Check it out: http://changethegame.ca/2012/06/02/140-characters-of-my-life-that-ill-never-get-back/
June 19, 2012 at 5:01 am
Reblogged this on diamondsorstones.
June 19, 2012 at 8:24 am
I will NEVER unfollow you Byronic Man!!!
June 19, 2012 at 9:55 am
Lol, I started following you because of this blog, lol.
June 19, 2012 at 10:43 am
I laughed my butt off…only that it was still there afterwards. This was funny.
June 19, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Ha 😉 Not even my mother comments on my blog, but that doesn’t stop me from writing and secretly wondering how flippin’ busy the 50-60 visitors are, who apparently read it, but can’t take a nano-second to hit “like” or say, “Whattup girl? I love reading endless posts about your kid’s digestive system!” Now I know what to do. Thank you.
June 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm
My mom doesn’t either – she thought that might give the wrong sense of success in the early days if my only comments were from my mom.
June 24, 2012 at 11:51 am
Sarah and others: I know! Subscribers are rising from my community participation but personal comments sure are at a premium. I respond sparingly (see earlier) because dial-up doesn’t load more than 1 webpage well. You need e-mail to load a link. Then you’re at another page, hotmail takes ages to log out… I wouldn’t read half as many if I couldn’t glance via e-mail. A lot of great people worth knowing.
About deleting facebook ‘friends’, I never liked the network and Myspace grew futile. I do like friends in the true sense but it’s about readership for me too. We put something up and want folks to see it, share reactions. Here’s mine to many of your replies! 🙂
June 19, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Just keep doin’ what you been doin’. I unfollowed everyone I follow because I took a trip and didn’t want all the email notices to follow me on my iphone.
June 20, 2012 at 12:51 am
Its afternoon here in Asia and am at work, but this blog just made my day 🙂
June 20, 2012 at 2:58 am
i followed you, instead of the “unfollower”. there, don’t be sad anymore. 🙂
June 25, 2012 at 4:18 am
Fantastic! Hilarious, sarcastic and so truely explains what I feel sometimes:)
June 25, 2012 at 6:01 am
Reblogged this on and commented:
Just wanna say sorry.
( great post in my opinion)
June 25, 2012 at 7:25 am
Bad karma will follow the person who unfollowed you lol.
Hilarious!
July 4, 2012 at 8:00 pm
This is my first time on your blog… I don’t know you well enough to “un-follow” you, yet 😉
July 8, 2012 at 8:28 am
This just made my sunday night!
July 8, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Well good. Thanks for dropping by, and for saying so!
July 18, 2012 at 9:05 am
Oh Byronic Man – I feel your pain. Recently someone I know ( a colleague ) unsubscribed and then left a really nasty message. ????? I still love you.
August 4, 2012 at 12:42 am
Hillarious! I had to follow you simply based on this post!
August 10, 2012 at 12:36 am
I followed you just so that I could un-follow you.
November 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm
I think I’m in love…
Now, I must subscribe. To your unfollowers: They need an Ass Kickin’
November 28, 2012 at 9:36 am
500 and some comments later I get to the bottom of your comment list. No wonder nobody follows you! But just to make you feel better I clicked on the follow button.
Great post.
Susie sent me.
November 29, 2012 at 3:59 am
Great post, love your deep-witted sarcasm. I found you via Susie’s blog. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Take care
November 29, 2012 at 10:17 pm
How do you know when someone unfollows you? Dammit. Thought that was anonymous. Geez, maybe someone should start a blog-witness protection program. For all those snarly unfollowers. Now, I’m off to track down mine……….
November 30, 2012 at 1:49 pm
All you have to do is have an unhealthy interest in the number of your followers, that way when you go to your site-stats page and see that it’s one lower than when you went to bed you can over-react appropriately.
November 30, 2012 at 9:19 am
I, like the many others above, will now subscribe to ease your suffering. Hey, I may be six months late, but better late than never. Right? Did I miss the cake and the animal balloons?
November 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Uh, there’s some cake left… but I don’t think you want it…
November 30, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Good thing I used to make wedding cakes. Let me know if there will be any sort of reunion – I’ll make a spectacular cake!! 🙂
December 6, 2012 at 12:09 pm
really? that was FP? the more i read what “is,” the less i’m disappointed that i “isn’t”
December 6, 2012 at 1:16 pm
It’s funny, because lord know we’ve all seen featured pieces and thought ‘Really? That got FP?’ But it has never even occurred to me to go to the person’s comments and tell them ‘I think your writing is bad and any attention it receives is unmerited.’ To each his own, I guess. Thanks anyway for coming by? I think?
December 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm
well, here’s the thing – you’re writing about someone who no longer follows you. how would you even know? do you get a message saying joe whoever stopped following you? joe whoever no longer subscribes to you? i don’t think that happens or i surely would have seen some by now. and if it doesn’t happen, then do you go through your list of followers and make sure the number is still the same or at least hasn’t shrunken? are you that obsessive?
and i realize that likely it’s just supposed to be a humor piece and not to be taken seriously, but it makes you look a little self-absorbed and/or paranoid.
December 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Oh, lol, that is too damn perfect. I have just written about not caring about followers anymore. Yup. Not one bit. I have seen the light. I’ll just keep my 183 . . . shit, did that number just go down again? Uh, nope, nope, I didn’t even notice. 😀 I think you have plenty of fans left. 😀
December 16, 2012 at 9:41 am
Salam .It’s kind of you to notice those who unfollowed you maybe it’s their way to make you feel their presence ,and to see if you really care =) im sure they know now ,i hope they will be back soon =)
January 8, 2013 at 3:20 pm
I followed you right before I read this post, now I am re-thinking my cavalier use of the follow button, if that fellow did not like you maybe I should not either. This is going to have me thinking all night.
January 8, 2013 at 6:16 pm
Oh, I’m crazy likable. In fact, the person who unfollowed me did so because the liking was getting too all-consuming. Although there’s a chance I’m making that up.
Well, hardly matters, because now – fortunately – clicking “follow” on my blog is a legally binding contract.
February 9, 2013 at 10:40 pm
Reblogged this on Kdrama&more.
March 27, 2013 at 7:19 am
I can’t believe I didn’t read this any sooner, lol! Nice letter *thumbs up*
July 26, 2013 at 2:56 am
Straight from the heart!!
August 16, 2013 at 12:23 pm
If it was meant to be they will re-follow you, you don’t need them, you deserve better, and any other platitudes I am forgetting. Hope you have recovered by now. They say it takes half the amount of time that person was following you, for you to reconcile that they are no longer reading your every word…
December 16, 2013 at 12:46 am
I just came across your blog – has made my day. Love the creativity and humour. I just started blogging and Ive found it to be somewhat similar to opening a burger joint in a giant food court…so far my mum is my only follower….SO I share your concern for loosing followers. Please if anyone reads this, please go and be my number 2 follower….thanks heaps and I promise, I will never unfollow you!
December 19, 2013 at 10:57 am
I feel for you, my friend. …….
http://lolaclementine.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/youve-been-unfriended/
March 5, 2014 at 5:39 pm
This is perfect! You are hilarious.
March 17, 2014 at 8:55 pm
Thanks! And thanks for reading.
March 13, 2014 at 12:01 am
I will follow you! I guess I should probably subscribe first though…
March 17, 2014 at 8:53 pm
Certainly gives you leverage when I’m like, “Dude! Get away from my window!”
“Don’t make me unsubscribe from your blog…”
“*sigh* Fine. Just don’t get fingerprints all over the glass, please.”
July 27, 2014 at 8:09 am
Just as I suspected…you ARE an evil genius!
August 29, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Aw I love your posts, you’re one of my favorite blogs! I would never unfollow you!