A Letter To The Person Who “Un-followed” Me

May 1, 2012

Freshly Pressed, Humor

So, I see you decided to unfollow me.  Well, that is certainly your right.  I’m sorry to see you go, but I understand.  Perhaps my blog wasn’t your style.  Perhaps I’m just not your cup of tea.  Perhaps I inadvertently offended you somehow, though I sure hope not.  Perhaps you just wanted to, in the immortal words of Thoreau, “simplify, simplify.”  Farewell, and good luck.

Sorry.  Um.  Just, really quickly though… why did you unfollow me?  Any reason in particular?  It’s my fault isn’t it.  I wasn’t funny enough?  Got political on you too many times? Couldn’t understand why I wrote an lengthy review of Godfather III, a 20-year-old movie that not even Francis Coppola particularly cares about?  Too many Simpsons references?  It’s because occasionally I get all smartypants and use phrases like “in the immortal words of Thoreau,” isn’t it?  Aw, why do I do that?  It just happens sometimes. I’m such an idiot!  I’m not like that, I swear.  I really try to, as they say, “keep it real.”

I say, that Zach Galifianakis chap is quite the purveyor of ribald tomfoolery, eh?

Oh, God, I just did it again didn’t I??  That last phrase probably has you picturing me in Victorian garb, giant moustache and monocle, trying to sound hip by talking about “the latest video-recorded buffoonery on The Youtube.” No wonder you unfollowed me! I’m so worthless!  Stupid!  Stupid!  Stupid!

Okay, sorry.  I’m projecting.  Possibly overreacting.  I just am curious why, though, specifically.  For future understanding.  Maybe there’s some flaw I could fix.  I mean, I thought we had a good relationship.   Me with the posting and jokes and observations, and you with the comments and the likes.  But clearly I was wrong.  You felt the need to unfollow.

After all, it’s obviously such a big hassle, having my blog show up on your reader list, or in your email in-box.  Ooh, boy, such a burden.  I can see why, instead of simply ignoring it, or letting it slide and checking back later to give it a fair chance you had to actually go out of your way to unsubscribe.  That makes sense and doesn’t seem hostile or cruel at all.  Real mature.    You must be such a bigshot, getting your kicks subscribing to hard-working, well-meaning blogs and then pow, going and kicking –

Sorry.  Sorry.  I just need to stay focused on the positive.  After all, I have a lot of wonderful readers, and I value them very much.  Hardly worth stressing over why you, one person, decided to un-follow me, right?  Sure.  Obviously.  I mean, no one is liked by everyone, right?  Sure.

Hello, fellow special agent! Enjoying that beer? Excellent. Oh, this? I won this last year for being so great; but as you can see, I’m clearly one of you. Say, my facial recognition software is on the fritz. I don’t suppose I could borrow yours?

Say, your username and avatar are kind of vague.  I only mention it because if I had a clearer sense of who you are, I could write you directly, or maybe stop by your house. We could talk about this. Your avatar has part of your face; maybe if I knew someone at the FBI they could run it through that facial-recognition software they’re always using in TV shows. Hm.  I wonder how you become friends with an FBI agent.  Are there particular bars they hang out in?  And how long do you have to be friends before you first broach the “please run this pixilated half-face through your system” topic?  An hour?  That might be optimistic.  I’ll call that Plan B.

I digressed.  What was I saying?

PLEASE COME BACK!  Tell me what I have to do!  None of my other readers mean a thing to me!!  There’s only you!  There only ever been you!  Remember the funny photo captions?  You liked those, right?  Sure, everybody loves my funny captions!  Look, look, I’ll do one right now, just for you:

Hey, uh, I’m so bored and… um… I’m a cat… and I…um… I like… fish.

Crap.  Okay, that was too much pressure to put on myself.  Got to relax. Walk it off.  Nobody likes a desperate person, Byronic Man.  Play it cool.  Cool.  Coooooool.

And me and all my many, many followers will hang out in the tree fort and you’ll be like, “Can I come up?” and we’ll be all, “Sorry, it’s only for subscribers.”

Hey, you know, like I said. Whatev.  You’ll miss out on some good times – we get some great conversations going here, but maybe that’s not your thing.  I get it.  If you ever want to drop by, or re-subscribe, you know… I’ll consider it.  I’ll probably be pretty busy then when my blog is HUGE and has millions of followers and everyone talks about it but you don’t know what they’re talking about, do you?  No, you don’t.  And you feel SO DUMB, and like you have no taste.  But… that’s not my point.  My point is you can always come back and we’ll just see, right?  Sure.  Sure.  If you’re still set on unsubscribing, that is.  You can think about it.  Maybe re-subscribe and think about it.  Give it a night.  You will?  Really?  Great!  I very wise choice, I should think.  For, as Alexis de Toqueville so eloquently once said… No, wait!  Come back!

Damn it!

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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533 Comments on “A Letter To The Person Who “Un-followed” Me”

  1. Saara Says:

    I will never Un-Follow you Byronic Man! Never! *sniffles*

    Reply

  2. Life With The Top Down Says:

    This is just so me! The “why” would drive me crazy and I see nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with bringing the FBI into this matter. Come on, I’m sure they’ve had crazier requests than this one.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      One of my best friends has spent his whole career in government, and said that in the 90’s they had consistent – consistent – people asking about joining the X-Files department.

      Reply

  3. Gow Says:

    HHmmmmm . . . . so, you’re saying that if I unsubscribe then you’ll write a special post just to little old me? Maybe show up at my house and have a nice long chat about what’s so great about your blog?

    Cool, where is that “Drive Byronic to the brink” button anyway? It’s gotta be here somewhere. . . .

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      It’s the age-old practice in relationships, right? Ignore those close to you, dote on the one’s who aren’t around.

      Reply

      • Gow Says:

        Either that, or the fact that some people are just so gosh darned entertaining when they’re flustered, that you just get the urge to fluster them on purpose sometimes. But, I wouldn’t do that to ya. Honest. Really, I totally wouldn’t. :-)

        Reply

  4. Tracy Gibson Says:

    Good reading while drinking my coffee!!! This was a great start to my morning. It’s a question we ask ourselves in this situation, but you put it way that really adds humor ( leaving out the drama).

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well, I always think the way that, at least, i think over things like that is just so absurd. Except in the moment. Then it’s only logical to obsessively focus on the one person in the room who doesn’t adore you.

      Reply

  5. 1pointperspective Says:

    The irony of course, is that as an unsubscriber, the fool will never see it. His loss. For the record, I only show part of my face because the rest of it is quite unsightly and the photo isn’t pixilated, it was just taken with a cheap camera.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Mine is pixelated because it’s actually a tiny portion of a photo of me and two other people – head to two. That’s how cropped the photo is.

      And I don’t even actually know who “unfollowed” but now people will be riddled with guilt to do so!

      Reply

      • 1pointperspective Says:

        I have no idea who’s following me, but I must lose them as fast as I add them, because my total number remains about the same. Harper Collins has yet to notice just how massive that number is.

        Reply

  6. Elyse Says:

    I believe it is all a plot. A Word Press plot. I have bumped those “unfollow” and “unlike” buttons on occasion (I think) and then can’t figure out why I am not getting posts.

    This is how Word Press keeps us all off balance and miserable enough to be creative.

    Reply

  7. She's a Maineiac Says:

    That does it. I am un-following you now.

    But before I go, I’m with Elyse on the wordpress conspiracy theories. My followers tend to drop by one one once in awhile, then inch back up again, just enough to keep me wondering and writing more posts because of my fear they’ll be a mass exodus. I also think this Freshly Pressed think is brilliant on their part, they FP you, then let you fade away to obscurity so you’ll stick around hoping it’ll happen again. those bastards.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Every day (I probably shouldn’t admit this)… every day I have this little moment where I check my stats and a little part of me gets ready to gasp because my hit count is in the thousands! And all these commenters and new subscribers!

      I think you’re right. It’s a great feature they use, but the sadists in at Word Press Global HQ also love it.

      Reply

      • She's a Maineiac Says:

        They know how to hook you in with the stats. Keep you wanting more.

        By the way, by some odd coincidence my blog followers just jumped back up by TWO. That is a record for me in one day. Must be a glitch.

        Reply

      • troismommy Says:

        Hey, enjoy the thousands! I typically get less than a hundred a day, and I have over 400 facebook friends who are clearly not readin my blog. *sigh*

        Reply

        • random8042 Says:

          What!
          I’m lucky to get ten!
          How…….?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

          Reply

        • seapunk2 Says:

          I realized I had zero friends on FB, because no one read any of my blog posts from there. I deactivated my account, as I don’t collect friends, anyway. I’d rather collect writers and readers.
          Many people want you to read them back. If you don’t, they’ve had enough of your tired old stuff. :)

          Reply

          • RIEDEL Fascination Says:

            Seapunk: I noticed your 2c because I’m with you most of the way (see other comments here). Active readership of what we endeavour to put out there, is a reward. LiveVideo.com was a site like Utube. Members commented a lot, unmeaningfully. We can do html code in these message boxes but we’re saying something.

            Most of the time on LiveVideo, they dumped a picture on your profile. Cute but disrespectful of dial-up internet (massive jpgs, not thumbnails) and “happy Tuesday” quickly got old. I was looking for “got your message” or “this is what my town is like”. How is your town? Is the sea a hobby or are you a genuine dweller? ;)

            Reply

            • seapunk2 Says:

              I live about three miles, as the crow flies, from the Pacific Coast, in Del Norte county, California. Just came back from two hours of picking up trash on the beach. I live in giant redwood country, a unique place in all the world.
              Feel free to read some of my natural world blog posts – I take you on a hike or trail or even in my own back yard.
              I grew up on the east coast, there’s some of that, too.
              My apologies to The Byronic Man for using his blog comment forum for my own benefit.

              Reply

              • RIEDEL Fascination Says:

                Au contraire, I think we’ll find him pleased his post visitors are introducing themselves. I’d love if folks stopped by for a “where are you from” intro on my blog – Bionic included. I’m centre of this continent, furthest from oceans. Eastern Manitoba in the Canadian prairies, plenty of forest and lakes. Natural blogs (and humour) are great.

                http://cmriedel.wordpress.com/2011/02/10/cmriedel-intro/

                Reply

                • seapunk2 Says:

                  I like it, too, and never censor, though I do moderate a first comment. I once got a “You’re a bitch,” comment in regard to my serious fun pokin’ at people using the “YOU GUYS” to include everyone and anyone. I’ll see you over there…
                  What kind of trees grow there and what is the growing season? :D Hey Bionic, how’s it going?

    • mj monaghan Says:

      Too right, D! WP is definitely hooking everyone. In fact, I’m gonna do a post on this. Right now, maybe. Damn you, WP! Post to follow.

      Reply

  8. joehoover Says:

    Had the same recently, I’m suprised you notice since you have about a gazillion followers! I heart leapt when mine shot up by 45 recently, then I realised it was only as I linked to my Facebook.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well, to be honest, I definitely don’t know who unsubscribed, and wasn’t actually that upset, but I definitely noticed the number click down. Obsessive? Overly self-critical? Guilty.

      Reply

      • RIEDEL Fascination Says:

        Phew! I wondered if an e-mail went out, similar to when folks subscribe! I have unsubscribed. I’m on dial-up. My modem often refuses 2 webpages. I can only read a few (receiving a comment from me is saying something). It does bog down hotmail to delete every alert. Some folks review everything book they read, instead of those they had strong feelings about. And then there are those who haven’t subscribed me back. LOL! I do wait for months before I go WTF?

        I deleted a guy on LiveVideo.com because he didn’t say boo in 2 YEARS. He posted right after my bulletins but no matter what subject matter, nothing. Seconds after deleting him, the sap replies with a sarcastic: “thanks”. Really? No remark on the car accident, finding ourselves a new home to counter pet banning? That guy sucked. But I don’t blame anyone else for being curious about deletion. ;-)

        Reply

        • The Byronic Man Says:

          It’s tough to keep up, though, isn’t it? There’s just so much out there. You’d have to quit working and cut off all social ties.

          I think I know that guy you deleted. He sucks.

          Reply

          • seapunk2 Says:

            He does. What I’ve noticed in my short time blogging, is that someone gets a look at my blog posts, makes a few comments. Hey, thanks for nothing, because it’s just a way to get you in my reader. I don’t feel obligated anymore. I started spending more time reading and commenting, than writing.
            I don’t care why someone lets me go. And, I only care to know who it is, so I can let them go, if their blog is flat or generally too long. I say straight out – I’m not here for a popularity contest. I don’t want to be part of someone’s collection and I don’t collect readers that don’t read. There are so many ways to “like” a post and not even have a look at the first five sentences. That smells.
            One night I published a new post, late, looked at the clock, and sat and waited to see how long it would take for someone to “like” my post. The post took me about four hours or more to write – it was serious business. About 30 seconds later, two “likes” came in. Ha ha ha ha ha, hilarious. The likers forgot to look at the time in their Reader… Fools. I know, but they don’t know I know…. :D

            Reply

  9. Arindam Says:

    It’s a best gift a person could ever get on unsubscribing someone. A post dedicated to him, I hope you made that person’s day. :) Let me be honest while saying this, These same thoughts goes through my mind when someone unsubscribe me. “One day I will have one million subscribers and I am going to ignore him.” Do not let me know that, for me one million is too much; This number makes me feel good know. And the best part is it does not make the person who unsubscribe me feel bad. So it’s fair enough!

    Reply

  10. Lula Harp Says:

    I was going to write this same letter. Not entirely the same, because I’m fairly certain I offended someone. And if I offended you, then off with your head or at least off my followers list. So, thank you for writing this so I don’t have to. Yours came out much more eloquent that mine would have.

    Reply

  11. John Says:

    I think people unsubscribe simply to cut back on email volume, even though that can be controlled otherwise. Just a thought but I can see why it’s irritating. I have 32 followers and am thankful for each of them. But my content can be sometimes off-the-wall and politically pompous too which doesn’t really help! Keep up the good work. :)

    Reply

  12. Paul G. Eberlein Says:

    Your blog reminds me that there is still some intelligence left on the Internet; it gives me much-needed rest from the constant litany of advertisements and spam with which I must normally cope. If I “un-follow” you, it either means that I’m dead and my executor did it to clean up my estate or I just got bored.

    Reply

  13. racheldeangelis Says:

    It’s nice to know that there are other people out there who feel a bit of blog insecurity from time to time. Wait….you are feeling insecure right? Or was this post just a big joke aimed at all of the insecure bloggers out there? Gah! Now I’m feeling insecure about you feeling insecure….

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Oh. My. God. Rachel D Angelis gets insecure about her blog sometimes? Omigod, everyone, look at Rachel! Hahahahahaha!

      I kid, I kid. It’s aimed at all of us, particularly me, and our tendency to irrationally focus on the negative. I can’t imagine there’s anyone creative who doesn’t Not really.

      Reply

  14. MJ, Nonstepmom Says:

    Thank you for the cool tree house – I’ll bring the key lime pie!
    You are better off without this person who cannot appreciate vocab such as “ribald” and “bafoonery”…

    Reply

  15. Valentine Logar Says:

    Ahh, F’m if they can’t take your intellect and humor. You don’t want or need them. There, there my fine friend all the rest of us love you, adore you, will never leave you to melt into a small self-pity puddle.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Isn’t that the way of people, though? I made this commercial a few months back and the executives of the company it was for watched it. There were 18 of them and 17 of them loved it, 1 didn’t like it. Guess who I obsessed about all day?

      Reply

      • Tinkerbell Says:

        Ok, seriously, quit showing off! :)

        I liked the post, but didn’t love it (it didn’t have enough photo captions).

        More importantly, I wonder what the other half of your face looks like (I watched enough movies and read enough stories to know that there are two sides to each face; remember Two-Face from “Batman”? See, I know a thing or two about faces.

        What are you hiding, Byronic Man, what are you hiding?

        Sincerely, and with unexpressed love,
        ~Tinkerbell

        Reply

  16. linneann Says:

    Wow, do you really keep close enough track of your followers that you can identify the avatar? Or was that a joke referencing your pic?

    Reply

  17. Jackie Cangro Says:

    That person is certainly going to rue the day he/she unfollowed you when The Byronic Man movie comes out.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Yeah! They’ll say “I used to be in to Byronic Man before it was big. Then I unsubscribed.” And people will be like, “So you suck, then?” And then who’ll be laughing??

      Reply

  18. tedstrutz Says:

    Awww… don’t feel bad… they just came over to my blog… I’ll be sure to tell them how you feel…

    Reply

  19. Audrey Says:

    Where’s the loyalty these days! Fairweather followers – who needs ‘em!

    Reply

  20. Roshni Says:

    I loved this post so much that I’m actually considering the idea of unsubscribing!! :D

    Reply

  21. susielindau Says:

    Who would ever unsubscribe from the Byronic Man???? In the words of Mr. T, “Fool!”

    Reply

  22. Angie Z. Says:

    I don’t need to worry when my followers leave me. It’s all them. Not me. Definitely. They just see too much of themselves and their childhood in my posts and think, “This is too much, Angie. You’ve gone too far with your relevance and poignancy. To read any more of this would be like regression therapy and I can’t take that.”

    So I just assume then that I was too good.

    Seriously though, you posting that old photo? Um, I might have to unfollow you after that nonsense. I will go to great lengths to avoid creepy turn of the century photographs. Thank you for the nightmares.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      That’s a good approach. “Clearly I overwhelmed them with my writing power. Poor, fragile souls.”

      I know what you mean about old photos – sometimes the eyes follow you, disapprovingly.

      Reply

  23. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    OMG did you just say none of your others readers mean anything to you…..no!!!!
    This will take years of therapy …..our cult leader hates us..why would you say somehing like this why why why :shock:

    Reply

  24. Anastasia Says:

    Tres humorous.. Funnily, I never notice if/when people unfollow me, but I have noticed once or twice being unsubscribed from other peoples blogs BY THEM. I’ve actually run across them again and re-followed, although it was only about 50% because I wanted to. The other 50% was pure cussedness and the desire to irk them with my renewed interest. Cannot imagine who’d tire of your blog. I like it more than mine. Hahahaha

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Really? You can “unsubscribe” people who follow your blog? I guess that makes sense, just in case. You sure it was active on their part? Not a glitch in the system?

      Reply

      • Anastasia Says:

        Yes, you can edit your own followers..no wait, you can follow/unfollow your followers. my bad. Crap, now my comment is obsolete. sigh. Could have been a glitch, but then why? Although speaking of glitches, when I tried to comment on this earlier my avatar suddenly changed to a young blond girl and for the life of me I couldn’t get it to change back to the firebird. glitchy wordpress!

        Reply

  25. Deborah the Closet Monster Says:

    I was just thinking about this as re: my Facebook page over the weekend. Sometimes I’ll post ridiculous @#%^ and get 48 new likes, whereas I’ll post one short, thoughtful note that loses a half-dozen people and think, WTF? Usually it doesn’t bother me, but if the mood is wrong, I’ll fret a little about it. Perhaps next time I’ll just think of this! :p

    Reply

  26. gojulesgo Says:

    Everyone DOES love your captions. This was hilarious. I don’t think there’s a creative soul alive who doesn’t hone in on the ONE negative thing. Even in, say, a sea of 902 followers. ;)

    Oh, and as your BFF I think I have to offer to kick someone’s butt right now. Crud. I hit like a girl. I think. I’ve never hit anyone.

    Maybe I can just hide in the tree house?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      That’s a thought – cyber-harassing people who unsubscribe, or who have yet to subscribe. Better yet, become a hacker and extort people. “Nice blog you got here. Be a shame if anything happened to it. Ever thought about subscribing to my blog? You know, so I know we’re friends and I can keep an eye on your site for you.”

      Reply

      • emisformaker Says:


        The pertinent bit starts at 1:30 or so.
        For my part, the only reason I have unfollowed a blog is because I discovered that the author added new content about every 30 seconds or so, thus pushing everything else out of my reader. I have done this exactly twice.

        Reply

  27. becomingcliche Says:

    Maybe it was a glitch in the website. That’s what I always tell myself. Or the porn-spammers got their accounts closed, so I lost them.

    Reply

  28. magikdolls Says:

    Serious or not this is hilarious. Thanks for the chuckle!
    *I solemly swear to not unsubscribe, i’ll just change my Email ;)*

    Reply

  29. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    I think you went through all the stages, except acceptance. Love it! ;-)

    Reply

  30. Blue Aventurine Says:

    I think the follower left for some other reason than quoting the Simpsons. One can never reference the Simpsons too much. It might get a little weird if you started using the voices but we are reading this stuff, so wouldn’t have factored in.

    My husband has developed a type of language consisting of movie/TV quotes… some things are just understood better in it’s native tongue.

    Reply

  31. Howlin' Mad Heather Says:

    Hey, I’d never unfollow now that I’ve subscribed. Even if you said you really hated The A-Team.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Me? I don’t think I said that… I liked the A-Team, so I can’t imagine I’d say that… I even kind of dug the movie (but I think part of that was I stumbled across it on cable in exactly the right mood).

      Reply

      • Howlin' Mad Heather Says:

        I think that came out the wrong way…I meant it as a subjunctive sort of “as if” statement. I don’t doubt someone as cool as you would like TAT. :)

        Reply

        • The Byronic Man Says:

          Phew. For a moment I thought I’d left one of those comments that sounds funny in my head but then sounds serious, and you’re hurt, and telling everyone I’m a jerk and such. All is well, then. I love it when a comment thread comes together.

          Reply

  32. Anastasia Says:

    back on topic.. how could someone un-follow you the week after you find out you’re going to have a baby? really? weird.

    Reply

  33. they still let me vote Says:

    I think it was your therapist…trying to get you to a point where you would need to resume the “sessions”…just tell her that the voices in your head say: “No!”

    Reply

  34. they still let me vote Says:

    ..if she raises “abandonment issues” straight away you’ll know for sure…

    Reply

  35. Madame Weebles Says:

    I’m guessing it’s not you, it’s them. At least, that’s what I told myself when I lost followers.

    Reply

  36. Curly Carly Says:

    Ah yes, the unfollow…the blog equivalent of being punched in the gut. At least no one can see you crying through the internet.

    Reply

  37. benzeknees Says:

    When I first started with Word Press, I was following a few blogs, but then every 2 weeks or so I would have to renew my “follower” status or I would stop getting their notifications of new posts. I thought it was weird at the time, maybe this is what happened here. It was someone new on the system & the system unfollowed you? No Byromaniac in their right mind would unfollow you, especially while we’re all waiting for kidney bean updates.
    I have unfollowed 3 bloggers in my time here. One of them made a racist remark I really didn’t agree with & so I wrote a thoughtful comment telling him why I was going to stop following him & then unfollowed. The other 2 were blogs that started out interesting to me, but then went off in a direction I didn’t necessarily want to follow – like photos or poetry or something. I let the posts come to my email for about a month & when nothing had changed I unfollowed them. I don’t do this lightly BTW!
    I am a dyed-in-the-wool Byromaniac, so don’t worry I won’t unfollow you!

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      One of the very first blogs I followed was a guy talking about basically trying to make a life for himself in his mid-40’s. That he’d wasted the first half of his life and was chronicling his attempt to make something of the second half. A great premise. Only thing was he was deeply misogynistic, and one of those people who talk about the “lamestream media.” I literally could not think of things to comment about that weren’t overtly hostile.

      Reply

  38. Michelle Gillies Says:

    I wonder if it is the same follower that unsubscribed to us all? Hmmmmm…

    Reply

  39. pegoleg Says:

    Whew! WordPress is finally back on line today after almost a week of NO Reader function, NO Blogs I Follow, NO Recommended Humor Blogs to obsessively check to see if I’m still there – even no Freshly Pressed page for days! Who knows what kind of tomfoolery they did with my settings? Might even have made me unsubscribe to blogs I cherish.

    So what did I miss?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Not much. We all just waited for you to come back.

      Reply

    • cassiebehle Says:

      My reader hasn’t worked in months! I have to manually search for the blogs I want to read. EVERY WEEK. In other news, I’m forming valuable stalker skills. However, they still aren’t great enough to find a legit WordPress email address or comment box to voice my functionality issues. WordPress is great though. Just greaaat. *crazy laughter*

      Reply

      • The Byronic Man Says:

        I don’t know why suddenly there are so many problems with the “follow” features. I know they’re continually upgrading it, but they’ve seemed so incremental that I don’t know what could have had such random and far-reaching effects.

        Reply

        • cassiebehle Says:

          Agreed. Unless they’re also partnering with pharmaceutical companies…then I could see why they’re slowly trying to drive us bonkers…

          Reply

  40. madtante Says:

    I share your pain on Twitter. For years, I’ve said things like, “Dude! I lost 2 followers. What happened?” Then some of my followers say, “Dude! You *know* how many followers you have? That’s lame!”

    Well…for years I’ve bounced under and slightly above 100. YES, THAT’S LAME. Then, for some magical reason, I hit 120 (which I hadn’t noticed it was creeping up there but when I did, I’s was all like, WOOHOOO I’m above 100!”

    Then, people dump me. Oh, the shame of forever having 100 followers on twitter.

    Reply

  41. k8edid Says:

    If only your posts would show up in my reader…WP has messed with my subscriptions to the point I wonder why I bother…yours no longer show up even though I am clearly subscribed to follow (stalk) you. I uncovered 10 missed posts yesterday from some of my favorites. Made me bitchy AND morose – not a good combination.

    Reply

  42. Blogdramedy Says:

    Unfollowing you would be akin to voting Republican. That’s borderline incestuous…and more than a little icky. ;-)

    Reply

  43. spilledinkguy Says:

    I don’t follow any blogs because I just can’t keep things… organized… I’m just all over the place that way. Unless I accidentally click ‘follow’. Then I feel I can’t ‘un-follow’ (even though I never visit blogs that way). I have un-followed myself, though. Repeatedly. Because I accidentally follow myself at least once a week. Mad motor skills. :)

    Reply

  44. carolofthebells Says:

    I have indeed unsubscribed to a few blogs because they’re so prolific (and I’m so weak), but I save the links and visit as I have said I will.

    Ugh, I feel so dirty, now.

    Reply

  45. susielindau Says:

    I knew you were overdue for a FP! They went back to your archives… Nice! :)

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      They must have finally gotten my tear-stained letters over at WP World Headquarters.

      Reply

      • susielindau Says:

        Maybe I should start staining a few…. :)

        Reply

      • racheldeangelis Says:

        It had been awhile since I’d checked out the Freshly Pressed Page, and I was surprised to see this (kinda older) post there! Wasn’t I just commenting that you should get Freshly Pressed (on your “Never Say Never” post, ironically enough) and you were like, “I don’t think that will happen again…” and then it did! That’s crazy! Jeez, how many times HAVE you been Freshly Pressed? :-P (not that I’m jealous or anything…)

        Reply

  46. Morton Design Works Says:

    Ha ha ha…I think my favorite part was “Walk it off”, though to be honest it was hard to pick out a favorite. How very neurotic of you. Of course, now I have to follow you so I can un-follow you simply to see what you’ll say about me. But then again, I probably won’t.

    I’ll follow because I’m hoping the rest of your blog is as nervously Woody Allen-ish as this post. I do so enjoying reading the psychotic ramblings of others. It reassures me that I’m not alone…

    Well done!!

    Reply

  47. k8edid Says:

    I was just thinking the same thing, Susie. Way overdue

    Reply

  48. TheWordpressGhost Says:

    OK, so how in the world did this topic pop into your mind?

    Does being un-followed really bother you that much? Or was there a process to thinking this blog up?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      In general, it’s the way I/people fixate on the negative amidst greater positive.

      Specifically, though, it was a commercial I directed for this company and when the suit-guys looked at it, 16 of them loved it, 1 didn’t. And I just kept coming back to the 1 guy. “Yes, yes, that’s nice about all of you. Tell me more about this other guy. What’s his problem? He thinks this is easy? ‘It looks too 80’s’ what does that even mean?”

      Then someone (I don’t actually now who) unsubscribed on the same day two new people subscribed and it kind of grew from there.

      So it doesn’t bother me THAT much, but probably more than is rational…

      Reply

  49. stevenwwatkins Says:

    Totally awesome, thoughtful, writing. I laughed out loud and it hit me where it hurts. Congrats on Freshly Pressed. I hate that it was you instead of me …–oh, no really Congrats!!!

    Reply

  50. Christine. Says:

    Well, Mr Byronic Man, I haven’t ever laughed as much as I did reading this post. You are a professor in the art of language and I am not worthy. Truly amazing.:)

    Reply

  51. funnyphuppo Says:

    You’re hilarious! So much so that I am considering following you this instant. However, I wouldn’t want you think I am easy, so let me play mind games with you for a bit.

    Reply

  52. mindofahummingbird Says:

    I really enjoy your style of writing. It’s funny that I understand how you feel, even though I only have 22 followers :) thank you for making me laugh. I “liked” you and am now another admiring follower. Write on my friend, we are reading.

    Reply

  53. creativebetty Says:

    Love this post, congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Something tells me you’re going to gain some new followers now… :)

    Reply

  54. cassiebehle Says:

    Congrats on the FP!!! Ya deserve it!

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Thanks, Cassie “There’s no ‘i’ in Behle, stupid” Behle! Hey, maybe you’ll get a little cross-over traffic form the 20 Q’s interview.

      Reply

      • cassiebehle Says:

        You were…close!

        As long as I don’t have to wait forever at a red light when I want to get home after work today. Then, I suppose, a little cross-over traffic would be ok. :)

        Reply

  55. on thehomefrontandbeyond Says:

    I know I cannot take “unfollows” place – and cannot imagine why they decided to unfollow–but you have a new follower in me – now does that feel better? I will only unfollow if you post nude pictures of women – I unfollowed that guy so fast–but I am sure you have much better taste than that (lol)

    Reply

  56. Angie Z. Says:

    Congratulations, B-Man! I just got thrown off the Freshly Pressed page today but now I’m thrilled that it was to make room for you and Jules! Woo-hoo! Enjoy the bloggy love wave.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      All glory is fleeting, I suppose, but sorry you had to step down.

      Jules and I are always wondering if we’re the same person, and this is doing nothing to dispel that.

      Reply

      • Go Jules Go Says:

        All glory is fleeting, I suppose, but sorry you had to step down.

        Byronic Man and I are always wondering if we’re the same person, and this is going nothing to dispel that.

        …heh heh Sorry. I had to. Congrats again, B Man!! I’m SO happy this was FP’d, but I don’t envy the WordPress overlords – they have to pick from your endless sea of genius/funny!

        Reply

  57. vandysnape Says:

    Thank that one person who unfollowed you because now I’m sure 100s of people are follwoing you after freshly pressed :) Great post and hilarious :)

    Reply

  58. Sheila Says:

    This is incredibly funny – thank you for making me laugh at these things! That un-follower is really missing out.

    Reply

  59. Omotakun Says:

    Nicely done…..in more ways than one…

    Reply

  60. Hippie Cahier Says:

    And all along I thought it was you who deleted my subscription. Let’s make up, ‘k?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Holy crap! It’s the mysterious, beloved Hippie Cahier! I’ve heard multiple bloggers talk about your wonderfulness, and now you visited me!

      Today, I am a MAN.

      Um, I mean, yes, thank you for visiting. Let’s never fight again.

      Reply

  61. Keia Says:

    Funny.
    and Freshly Pressed. Congrats.

    Reply

  62. candycoatedreality Says:

    This so reminds me of a series of text messages I received from a guy last year after I broke things off (keep in mind we went on two dates. Yes. TWO!!)… “but why? Please come back. I love you. No. I hate you! Can’t believe you did this to me. You mean the world to me!! Can we at least be friends? Blah, blah, blah…” Your’s was a much better read than his texts. Thanks for the laugh!! PS, love the tree house!! Is there a secret handshake or password??? PSS, I’m now clicking the FOLLOW button :)

    Reply

  63. whisperingiris Says:

    Ha, ha. I just started following you. You better be as funny as your blog says you are, damn it! Just kididing . . .

    Reply

  64. dandelionsblog Says:

    Dear byronic man: Your post isn’t all that great. I mean, it’s not like you received a ton of comments or anything. Well, at least you weren’t on Freshly Pressed. I’m never ironic. I’m not being ironic here. Or here. Or even here.

    Reply

  65. Roshni Says:

    OMG! The Byronic Man just got Freshly Pressed! Now isn’t that terrible…uhh…terrific… and awesome and super-cool! :P Congratulations!

    Reply

  66. John J. Rigo, Texas' Poet Says:

    This is truly a great and funny blog posting with WordPress. What makes it funny is how some of us seem to be caught up in the “numbers game.” I no longer gage the so-called success of my own blog with WordPress based on how many “Likes” I get or for that matter my daily “hit count.” I have found that my WordPress blog which just hit over 25,000 hits has about six faithful followers, whom I have gotten to know well thru their own blogs. Truthfully, I take quality over quanity any day. Some of these members with 1263 followers and counts of made up numbers into well over 100,000 hits are dealing in another reality in their own minds, as to the worth of their individual blogs Lol! My own personal goal, if my spiritually-centered poetry dealing with my own personal journey in life helps but one person, I am a happy camper!

    Reply

  67. Jennifer Worrell Says:

    Wow! You are FP!!! Take that Nasty Un-follower!!! Well said!

    Reply

  68. She's a Maineiac Says:

    Hey, I doubt you’ll see this but…CONGRATS B-man!!! I’m thinking this will keep your followers on the uptick for awhile…

    Reply

  69. fireandair Says:

    I’ve wanted to write a similar comment, but to the very few people who DO occasionally “like” my posts or follow my blog. My posts range from extremely esoteric personal journals of what chord modulation I used last night and hockey. Who in their right mind would “like” a post that consists of either (or sometimes both):

    1) “I’m in seven flats somehow, and I think I’d like to get back to F minor and 6/8 at some point.”
    2) Hockey game highlights.

    Seriously, who other than me cares about diminished seventh chords and someone’s goals-against average? At the same time? And I don’t even have comments turned on.

    So in the end, I’m more curious about the 17 weirdos who follow me than anyone who would unfollow. And I think there are just people who wander around randomly clicking “like” on posts in the hopes that it will bump up their own readership.

    Reply

  70. Elyse Says:

    Congrats on the FP’d post, Bryonic. This is a classic and I don’t k now why it took them so long to Press it.

    Reply

  71. Recovered Baptist Says:

    Funny stuff. Glad I found your blog!

    Reply

  72. PCC Advantage Says:

    Hey. Just saw this post was Freshly Pressed…it’s about bloody time.

    Congrats, Byronic!

    Reply

  73. Tori Nelson Says:

    Oh, thank the Jaysus this post got Freshly Pressed. Take consolation in the fact (is it a fact if I make it up?) that the “person” who un-followed you was probably just a SPAMbot. It was just trying to sell your readers Cialis or Disney books anyways :)

    Reply

  74. AJ's Mom Says:

    Byronic Man, you never fail to amuse me… you definitely deserve to be Freshly Pressed! :-)

    Reply

  75. dearandersoncooper Says:

    i will totally take his/her place and follow you!

    Reply

  76. What I Desired To Say Says:

    Beautifully written. May I borrow it if I get un-followed?

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed!

    Reply

  77. Eireen Says:

    I had to wait before commenting: had to stop laughing first! Congratulations on being freshly pressed! And thanks for this hilarious post.

    Reply

  78. The Bumble Files Says:

    Well, you gained a follower, Byronic Man. Thanks! I enjoyed that!

    Reply

  79. searchingforchellie Says:

    I’ve never been unsubscribed. I’ve unsubscribed before, but never had it happen to me. But, you dear fellow, have earned yourself a subscriber! Has a wise old man once said, when a door is closed, a window shall be opened! Yeah, i don’t know who said that :)

    Reply

  80. Kari Andrews Says:

    Too freaking funny.

    Reply

  81. twistnpout Says:

    This is hysterical. I read a lot of funny blogs that make me chuckle, but this made me laugh out loud all the way through. possibly because I totally get it. I have become obsessed with my stats, like, followers, unfollowers and commenters. I check my stats upteen times a day sometimes.

    However- i’m not very tech savvy and I realized one day that I had inadvertently unfollowed a few people. I felt Soooooo bad. I wanted to write them a personal letter of apology. Maybe your unfollower feels bad too or just doesn’t realize what they did (that’s it I’m sure)

    Reply

  82. whereimstaying Says:

    I love this, I don’t know you at all, from Tom’s house cat or anything and I don’t want to laugh at the pain you’re in or anything, this is hilarious though!! Loved it! Now following!

    Reply

  83. Kiersten Marek Says:

    Reblogged this on Kmareka.com and commented:
    Funny!

    Reply

  84. Julianna Says:

    Oh, this is depressingly spot-on!

    Reply

  85. Eagle-Eyed Editor Says:

    How dare they unfollow you, fellow blogger. After all, somebody who has your sense of humor AND who got Freshly Pressed is worthy of being followed, in my book. P.S. If you still want the FBI, I know people who know people at the FBI. (Yes, really.) Love your blog.

    Reply

  86. nubianwaters Says:

    Where have you been all my blogging life??? In stitches…nice one! Now I’m hopping on your bandwagon….yeehaw!!!

    Reply

  87. Z Says:

    You sir have gained my attention. Do not be frightened for I shall follow! Oh.. I will follow you. Ye shall not be frightened young sir!!

    Reply

  88. Huffygirl Says:

    Being unfollowed is indeed harsh. Yet, you have almost 1,000 more followers than I do, so what are you complaining about :) But I bet that being Freshly Pressed will bring in a few more, so maybe you’ll get over this harsh treatment you’ve received. Congrats.

    Reply

  89. thetarotman Says:

    Oh, my Goddess! This is far beyond priceless! I have only had a WordPress blog since March of this year, and so far, no one has un-followed or unsubscribed, although it is a thought, from time to time. Now I know what to write to them! Ha, Ha!! Seriously, I promise I shall refrain from plagiarizing. Thank you, Byronic Man!

    Reply

  90. Six Glasses of Water Says:

    haha, thanks for writing this, it really cheered me up! I will totally follow :D

    Reply

  91. anecdotaltales Says:

    Laugh out loud delightful. Time to join your throngs of literary appreciators.

    Reply

  92. Rohini Says:

    Your post convinced me to follow you, and never unfollow! :-)

    Reply

  93. Spijder Says:

    Maybe.. just maybe, they only unfollowed because they realized that this was so much their favorite place on the interwebs that it belonged in their favorites and with it in their favorites and with the way they must, probably, might have, have surely checked every single day (maybe several times or even sat there hitting refresh every five minutes) there was just no reason to keep you as a ‘follow’. Maybe you’re just being pessimistic to think it was abandonment instead of upgraded to a whole new level of fandom, perhaps even obsession.. ooooo.. preen and strut! You might have a stalker! ;p

    Reply

  94. truthspew Says:

    I don’t pay attention to followers on my blog. However Facebook is the more interesting one as I’ve lost a lot of friends on there because of my political posts.

    Best comment I saw regarding Godfather III is this one:

    “Lose George Hamilton and shoot Sofia Coppola in the first reel. There’s a decent movie in there struggling to get out.”

    And I couldn’t agree more with that assessment!

    Reply

  95. Karen B. Jones Says:

    You’re so silly. I want to follow you and then unfollow you later just to mess with your head! >:) But that would be mean. :( I shouldn’t be mean. :\ I should just leave a nice comment and leave you alone. :)

    Reply

  96. Oh God, My Wife Is German Says:

    Awesome post! I love it!

    … following your blog …

    Reply

  97. vivianspunk Says:

    this post just made me follow you :)

    Reply

  98. lifeinthefarcelane Says:

    ROTFL – I clicked on this from the dashboard and went “HUH!? I’m not subscribed any more!?!” and thought “holy cow he means me” (yeah cos it’s alllll about me ..pfft!) and then realised I’d not logged in .. One of the faithful here :-p

    Well done on freshly pressed! How exciting! :)

    Reply

  99. Courtney Hosny Says:

    Hilarious! I love the part about writing about the “immortal words of Thoreau.” I’m always worried I get too introspective or too fluffy on my blog! Great work!

    Cheers,
    Courtney Hosny

    http://www.oneweektocrazy.com

    Reply

  100. rhs5099 Says:

    “COME BACK AND JUST LET ME LOVE YOU!”

    Reply

  101. 5th Grade Teacher Says:

    Ha! Ha! That cat picture was preeetttyyy funny. Following until I suddenly, unceremoniously, decide not to.

    Reply

  102. tenaciousbitch Says:

    Can’t help but love your wandering worries regarding your “un-following” public (or individual as it were).. I know whenever someone “un-follows me” on Twitter, I wonder the same kind of things…or did they get pissed off when I made fun of Angelina Jolie and the whole “LEG” thing on the Oscars (or whatever award show that was)? Or, maybe, they didn’t like my blathering all over the place about how I HATE NBC for cancelling “Harry’s Law”, which still makes NO SENSE since it was their 2nd highest rated show (of their scripted series, I believe)…

    But anywho, thanks for sharing your neuroses regarding whomever had the AUDACITY to cut you out of their circle of cyber friends…

    TenaciousBitch/KS…

    P.S. The only time I “un-followed” someone was a woman on gather.com who uploaded 3 or 4 posts/day, and the announcements of her posts were clogging up my yahoo account to the point that I couldn’t find REALLY important emails like, you know, BANK ALERTS that my balance in my checking account had gotten below $50 and such…

    Reply

  103. Being June Says:

    I just started blogging (sort of, I mean, I started the blog a few months ago, but…oh never mind). It’s both encouraging and disturbing to know that the self-doubt doesn’t go away. Hilarious post, and hilarious comments!

    Reply

  104. zeishapr Says:

    Great post! Stumbled upon your blog on the WordPress main page! x

    Reply

  105. welikethemoon Says:

    Aw. I hope it helped that I clicked the “like” button…?

    Reply

  106. Agnostically Yours Says:

    Fear not! I immediately subscribed in the hopes of alleviating the pain and anguish this heartless un-follower caused you. Also, your blog rocks, and I might never have read it, had it not been for this post. Win-win situation!

    Reply

  107. youarenotlostyouarehere Says:

    Genius. Too genius. High five for hitting FP too, woop woop!

    Reply

  108. williamw60640 Says:

    Congrats on being FP! I love that you said “hilariouser,” that’s so, I don’t know how else to put this, so hilarious! Thanks for the smiles. Cheers!

    Reply

  109. Abigail Says:

    This makes me want to follow you just to unfollow you later. :) Then I get my own personal blog post as well.

    Reply

  110. howtoonlinedate Says:

    hahaha…love this! especially your tomfoolery photo captions, eh? with writing like that, you’ve gained a new follower!

    Reply

  111. burusan Says:

    Thank you so very much!!!

    Reply

  112. Charlotte Says:

    This is awkward because I did unsubscribe but I never thought it would hurt your feelings :(

    Reply

  113. judysp Says:

    First of all Congrats on ‘Freshly Pressed’ you certainly deserve it.
    I just love this post it’s so funny and sadly true sigh sniff sniff
    What a great writer you are. I am a follower now and won’t unsubscirbe – promise
    As an afterthougtht maybe they unsubscribed because they are dead? Their relatives might have cleaned out their internet. It might not be you at all. Ha ha cheers Judy
    judysp.wordpress.com

    Reply

  114. Life in the 50's and beyond...Ruth Says:

    LOL that’s all I gotta say….

    Reply

  115. the drive-by fruiter Says:

    Coming back for more of this. Definitely. Love it!
    You think this is the start of a beautiful friendship? :)

    Reply

  116. Modern Funk Says:

    It will be okay. Maybe you just need some banana taffy and a hug? Or, maybe some Valium?

    Reply

  117. Sarah Sellers Says:

    Well the idiot who unfollowed you was just replaced by me (and I’m sure an additional 240+ people)! :)

    Reply

  118. A Girl With a Lot to Say Says:

    Well this is the first blog of yours I read, and I laughed hysterically. All of our “obsessing” about comments and followers. Yesterday, someone criticized my writing and remained anonymous! Gasp :)

    It’s great to meet you and your sense of humor. Will follow!

    Reply

  119. Shannon Says:

    I must admit I was little peaved that Angie and Melissa both got bumped off of FP today (it seems a little soon?), but when saw that both you AND Jules got put there AND Angie is okay with it AND they pulled this out of the vault (geez! May 1?), I’m like, “Why the heck am I NOT following this guy?” So consider it done. I’m in. And I don’t un-follow. You might not even notice my little blip, but *blip* there it is.

    Reply

  120. beeba Says:

    hmmmmmmmmmmm I can be a follower depend on My believe . if deserve to follow ?

    Reply

  121. befaster Says:

    I did just subscribe, but I’m not the one who unsubscribed, just to be clear. That last section reminds me of Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes obviously) and his “No Girls Allowed” tree fort. He’s always yelling down at Suzy about how gross she is and how much fun him and Hobbes are having, and then she walks away and he stops having fun. Not that you think girls are gross or talk to stuffed animals… I digress. Glad to be a subscriber!

    Reply

  122. urbannight Says:

    Hmmm, that phrase….. That one under the old timey photo…. You know the one, you wrote it after all. Ummm, isn’t that a line Hugh Laurie once used in A Bit of Fry and Laurie? It was perfect for the point you were making.

    Reply

  123. msperfectpatty Says:

    This is clever writing. I like it. It’s like a conversation and funny too!

    Reply

  124. John Baker Says:

    Perhaps the lack of brevity was a motivating factor.

    Reply

  125. crookedpinkycomics Says:

    Don’t let it bother you Byronic, just use your super-leaping power (with sound effects) and try to get over it. ;) If that doesn’t work, tear off his arm like a Big Foot!

    Reply

  126. keziahcarrie.com Says:

    I try not to watch my stats…but then I log on and I check email and Facebook and work stuff and Yahoo and Google and I don’t look at the WordPress tab and then I do and then I don’t and then I look away again and I prepare to put my Mac to sleep and then I just cannnnn’t resissst and I look… and then some days I’m happy and some days I’m sad and some days I feel worthy and some days I feel useless and it’s all that strange little stat. My son says 100 people can say something good to you and then one person is mean and that is all you think about the entire day. Stats stats go away come back BIGGER another day! Loved your post. I’m about to push the FOLLOW button so log on later and let us know how many you gained by losing one. :-)

    Reply

  127. jadorelamusique Says:

    Oh my god, you are effing hysterical. : D

    Reply

  128. Atlantic~mama Says:

    Hahahahahaha! Ok, I laughed out loud and woke the baby. So clearly I need to follow you for future baby-waking posts…

    Reply

  129. topiclessbar Says:

    After a zillion brilliant and hilarious posts, you’re finally on Freshly Pressed! Couldn’t be happier – rock on Byronic!

    Reply

  130. Imad Kafarani Says:

    Man I was so laughing while reading this article! Haha! I like your sense of humor.

    Reply

  131. Mike Phillips Says:

    Reblogged this on Random Thoughts from the Cube Dude and commented:
    Never…ever…ever…unfollow someone. Ever. Because this is what that person goes through losing an online friend.

    Reply

  132. ladykatsa Says:

    You may have lost one, but you gained another! Totally gonna follow you! (in a non-creepish sorta kinda way…..I LOVE YOU!!….anyway…

    Reply

  133. onestreetshy Says:

    Genius. Absolutely genius.

    Reply

  134. spencerturney Says:

    Hilarious stuff, man!

    Reply

  135. ramiungarthewriter Says:

    Hey, you got on Freshly Pressed; soon you’ll have 5K new followers.

    Reply

  136. lisaasils Says:

    Lol! Exactly how i feel in the case of someone who unfollowed me but irl.

    Reply

  137. butcheringsaint Says:

    I go out of my way to offend. Unsubscribers never reveal their motives just like bad milk never tells you it’s stale. You have to pour it out and drink it to find out. Great post.

    Reply

  138. famgg Says:

    Im following you now so may be you can get back to being happy and write one in my honor it seems unfair that the person who unfollowed you get one and I don’t :P

    Reply

  139. Renee Boyer-Willisson Says:

    Is it Byronic that I found and will now follow your blog because of this post? :)

    Reply

  140. jenlutar Says:

    oh wow, I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog. How entertaining!! This post had me laughing, so hard. My blog is called ‘REFLECTIONS’ … You should stop by sometime. I will be following you, though. I like the humor concept you have going on … a good laugh is so needed sometimes. Your notifications of new posts won’t bother me one bit ;) Can’t wait to read more.

    Reply

  141. SimplySage Says:

    Humor beyond repair!
    I know how ya feel … stings, doesn’t it!
    Trying to heal your wound so I subscribed. Believe me, though—never shall I hit that unsubscribe button. Can’t take another session like this!
    Peace,
    Alexandria

    Reply

  142. Paranormal DIY Diva Says:

    LOLLLLL!!!!!!! This was hilarious, I had to share this. :)

    Reply

  143. creativenoshing Says:

    Loved this. Great post!

    Reply

  144. praisehimalways Says:

    I decided to visit a few of the Freshly Pressed and noticed yours right away. At first I was just going to back page to home page . Then I thought “what the heck’ I can just “like” his blog. Then I thought, “should I “follow” omigosh if I “follow” do I have to make a commitment to read it everyday?Then there is the email overload I might get from following too many blogs. Oh my gosh… I can’t decide.
    Ok, I decided.
    I’ll start this little commitment by just “liking” you and your facebook page. THEN, I don’t have to worry about “unfollowing” you and causing any harm . AND you would never know that I was gone,Heh, heh.
    Btw, nice blog.

    Reply

  145. Marie Says:

    Maybe there is such a thing as an X-File group at WordPress and they are tapped into people’s lives in such a way that… the dude who unsubscribed didn’t in fact unsubscribe. He died. And his death was instantly recorded at WP thus making your follower number drop by a digit. Poor guy. Never saw it coming. Hope you feel utterly guilty now. Oh well, sweet dreams with your ghosts!

    Reply

  146. sandraconner Says:

    I loved this. Kind of sad that the guy who “unfollowed” you won’t know that you posted it, so won’t get to read it. Of course, he might see it on the “Freshly Pressed” page and wonder if he’s THE ONE. He’ll, no doubt, agonize over whether the letter is really written to him or not, and, after a while, go back onto your blog in order to ask you — or — better yet — in order to defend himself. That’s when you respond: “Gotcha!”

    Congrats on being “Freshly Pressed.”

    Reply

  147. Meet Me In Medias Res Says:

    This is the most awesome thing I have ever read. I hope I can one day be as clever and great as you clearly are. Long live The Byronic Man!

    Reply

  148. genkiduck Says:

    Do you actually get a notification if someone “un-follows” you? I’ve never had that experience…

    Is it horrible if I want to follow you, and then unfollow you, and then silently snicker to myself about contributing to a fellow blogger’s neurosis? ;p

    Reply

  149. Shay M Says:

    Ha I just received my first ‘unfollow’ recently. Glad to see your post about it. I don’t want to be over-dramatic but I felt like a relationship had just ended. I was pretty upset about the whole thing. But then again, I think I know why they unfollowed. It was all my fault.

    Reply

  150. hollyberrybrown Says:

    maybe mr./ms. unfollower died laughing, and you were simply a loose end that a conscientious family member tidied up.

    Reply

  151. cathynd95 Says:

    Ibhave 2 friends in the fbi, if you need a reference…

    Reply

  152. lauriejlong Says:

    I was that guy once (the unfollower, not the unfollowed– I don’t have enough followers to be unfollowed, and my dad wouldn’t dare to unfollow me). I really feel bad now. And it is only appropriate that “Time To Say Goodbye” is playing on my Pandora right now. I need to go find the person I unfollowed and follow them again… anywher they may take me.

    Reply

  153. themoonstone Says:

    Great humourous read !

    Reply

  154. juststartwithmonday Says:

    Very, very funny! You put into words all that I have been thinking. Thanks for helping me “get it all out” with such drama too. Look forward to more posts to come.
    You Matter! Smiles, Nancy

    Reply

  155. Lori Lipsky Says:

    Entertaining post! One last laughing spell before bedtime. Thanks.

    Reply

  156. JA Shanks Says:

    OK…I will subscribe. I am a new follower, so I have yet to unsubscribe. I reserve the right to unsubscribe at such time you become too lame for me, too cool for me, or a 20-sided die is rolled and turns up the same value on 3 consecutive alternating Tuesdays (It’s probably gonna be the “too cool” reason.) at which time I will re-read this post.

    Reply

  157. justcallmeraegen Says:

    Since you have 200+ comments and I have 5 minutes, I’ll simply propose what others may or may not have already mentioned along the way: I’ve noticed that certain bloggers like to be followed but don’t follow back. I don’t know if you happen to be one of these people, but if you are, that may be why you lost someone.

    Reply

  158. The Guat Says:

    This was too funny. Really creative bit on losing someone you didn’t even know. Reminds of something that would happen on a Jerry Seinfeld episode.

    Reply

  159. cunningstuff Says:

    I am totally embarrassed about following you now… but does this mean I get chocolates on valentines day?

    Reply

  160. iimpp Says:

    I rarely laugh reading a blog, actually (most of it I just don’t understand what they’re talking about. Call me stupid :/). But this is HILARIOUS! Lol.

    I don’t know about this follow and unfollow thing, never care much (or there’s A FEW people reading my blog, so I don’t know how it’s like, having many followers), but you make a good point. There must be something wrong. But gotta tell you one thing, if the unfollower is a woman, it may happen because of hormone (I have done that…but not with a blog). You might get her back..I said ‘might’..though.

    Reply

  161. stephanieough Says:

    This post is hilarious! I don’t know if I would notice if someone un-followed me but I do get a bit sad when I only have a few dozen visits somedays. Then those days where I have hundreds of views from so many countries I am on cloud nine. I can only hope one day to be freshly pressed. It would be wonderful! Congrats :)

    Reply

  162. Rajat Pradhan Says:

    damn. *tears flowing down my cheeks* :(

    Reply

  163. xxkultuur Says:

    I may choose never to follow…if this is where it leads.

    Reply

  164. bohemianspiritedmom Says:

    thank you for that hilarious laugh! But really, that iphone is so tiny and sometimes your finger grazes that top circle and it unfollows people–it’s either a straight line or a check mark. maybe that person accidentally hit that??

    Reply

  165. buggzphotography Says:

    This is an awesome blog Byronic keep up with the interestingly interesting post.Cheers!

    Reply

  166. jennysserendipity Says:

    I have unfollowed people in FB but will never do in WP! Great read……

    Reply

  167. missunderstoodliving86 Says:

    I LOVED THIS! The voice I had imagined in my head with this letter seemed very fitting, especially when it came to the tree house part. Please subscribe back and send some of your tree house Frinds my way, I just made this one! Thanks in advance!

    Reply

  168. Jennifer Avventura Says:

    Hilarious! You’ve found a new follower! Just don’t piss me off, ok? ;)

    Reply

  169. thehandmadeyou Says:

    I just discovered someone with my sense of humor! I’m serious. I started reading this and remembered some of my crazy little rants that made people laugh! It’s a great way to seriously question something while at the same time finding something funny to take your mind off the “why.” It really has gotten obssessive though, hasn’t it? Unlike, unfollow, unfriend, and next thing you know “everyone hates me.” Keep up the humor. I’ll follow you’re blog until someone better comes along…or I show my humorous side on my blog. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m stealing your bit. ;)

    Reply

  170. ailsapm Says:

    Don’t feel bad, Byronic, if this video is true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhtgINeaJWg then you probably just unfollowed yourself (or a billion of your atoms did). :)

    Reply

  171. wardenfree Says:

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
    awesome post that is full of humor!

    Reply

  172. ghummakkad Says:

    What a positive way to response to an ‘unfollow’. After reading this, I am sure that they will come back!

    Reply

  173. Lapiskamay Says:

    Badass man. You’re so funny! LOL

    Reply

  174. Cordelia de Rojas Says:

    Post freely and forget about the followers .

    Reply

  175. Worn Out Junkie Says:

    I decided to follow you… just before you write something about me for not following you :)
    That was really cool!

    Reply

  176. yumnatarian Says:

    You’re funny, so I’ll follow you

    Reply

  177. Elemi Fuentes Says:

    Very funny!

    Reply

  178. wannaknownikki Says:

    your full of thoughts byronic man :)

    Reply

  179. Keeping Up With The Holsbys Says:

    Hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned!! It’s not them, Byronic, it’s you ;-)
    Thankfully, there are plenty more fish on the world wide web.

    Reply

  180. Apurva Mehta Says:

    Really, its very hard time when someone your own step out from you, you have narrated all the things in all possible views and it happens, +ve as well as -ve…White one…

    Reply

  181. Rule-Bender, Bea Says:

    Really funny! Keep it up! Try to write 5 more entries about this unsubscriber of yours so he feels guilty.

    Reply

  182. ErzulieRedEyesArtandSpirit Says:

    I love your sense of humor Byronic Man! Great post!

    Reply

  183. Mia Says:

    I just followed you. hmmm, now i have the urge to unfollow you so you could write a letter to me too. lol

    Reply

  184. Annie Says:

    Well, after reading and so much respecting your writing style and wit, I thought, “Why would I unfollow someone?”

    The answer came back a resounding, “THERE ARE NEARLY 5000 e-mails in my inbox and i can’t read them all; something’s gotta give (like the fun movie!)”

    So, it wasn’t a matter of hurting or inconveniencing you, it makes my life less complicated and every now and then, I have to do something for me.

    Reply

  185. Annie Says:

    The FIRST thing to come to mind was the erasure of 5000 e-mails from my inbox, yesterday. It would have had NOTHING to do with the quality of your writing, nor the subject material, your humor or your wit.

    It was about me (assuming I was the one who ‘unfriended’ you). There comes a point in everyone’s life where he HAS to look out for himself, something I RARELY do, but is necessary so much more often.

    Seriously, you’re NOT trying to decide WHAT someone else (whom you don’t know) had on his mind?

    Reply

  186. thefullmusician Says:

    You lose one, you win one ;) (me)

    Reply

  187. awesomebadgirl73 Says:

    Reblogged this on My Thoughts and commented:
    a totally cool blog i wanted to share.

    Reply

  188. valentinedee Says:

    While I totally get your point, I’ve come to terms with the unfollow thing. My motto is: there’s seven billion people in this great world. I’m sure I can live without you.”

    val

    http://valentinedefrancis.blogspot.com

    Reply

  189. Delicious History Blog Says:

    There can never be enough Simpsons references! I dropped a Rancho Relaxo reference into one of my latest posts simply because my mind works in Simpsons quotes.

    Fantastic post!

    Reply

  190. jusmeh Says:

    In the word’s of Shaggy “wasn’t me!” I am now an avid follower! Thought you might like this: http://youtu.be/2g5Hz17C4is

    Reply

  191. wordswithnannaprawn Says:

    I’m just guessing….but the gazillion new followers via a FP is not going to make up for that one break up is it? – maybe their cat died, or maybe they….oh God it’s almost too awful to contemplate…..maybe they are someone who has decided to go cold turkey and ween themselves off the internet to go outside into the fresh air and talk face to face with actual people – arrrrghhh! no, you’re better off without them, it wasn’t you, it was them – they just didn’t deserve you.

    Reply

  192. Palm Trees & Bare Feet Says:

    Hey, you may have lost one follower, but you just gained a hundred more, including me!

    Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
    :)

    Reply

  193. alexsavillephotography Says:

    LOL love it!

    On a related note, I find it most amusing when people who never followed me back on Twitter post messages about me unfollowing them…

    Reply

  194. Zen Says:

    That was an awesome post. Probably shouldn’t have read it at work… now my coworkers are throwing conspicuous glances in my direction. But yes – absolute great. Is it bad that I can relate? I know I die a little inside every time I lose a follower (whether on Twitter or WP or anywhere else), and I’d be all, “Why? What did I ever do to you?!”

    I wish they could at least make the person answer a question before they unfollow a blog. A simple “Why are you unfollowing this blog?” would’ve worked wonders on obsessive people who are eaten up by not knowing why they’ve been unfollowed. *totally not talking about herself*

    Reply

  195. ashleypatterson21 Says:

    Byronic man, I feel an itch to subscribe and unsubscribe now :P Should I subscribe though? Will you follow me too? Even if you don’t read a thing on my blog? :P

    Reply

  196. ashoklaughswithlife Says:

    Loved your post, dear! I’m gonna follow you, and will make sure that i never ‘Un-follow':)

    Reply

  197. sportsjim81 Says:

    First, congrats on the Freshly Pressed status…it’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Now, as a fellow writer of “letters” such as this one, I have to say…hilarious. I loved the bouncing back and forth between emotions. I’m sure you’ll be busy replying to comments for awhile, but when you get a chance, hop over to my page. If you like the kind of humor that you just wrote above (and I assume you do, since you wrote it), I recently wrote two similar letters that I think you’ll enjoy.

    Reply

  198. HoaiPhai Says:

    How come WordPress doesn’t have an “Unfollowers Widget” that would list those jumping ship in the sidebar so the legions of faithful followers can know who to shun and taunt?

    Reply

  199. Stephanie Jill Rudd Says:

    That is hilarious! Well done…fabulous blog and one I bet we all identify with!! Ha Ha. Love it.

    Reply

  200. Kaberi Chand Says:

    AWWW…i loved reading it!!!!!Wonder who is “The mystery follwer”……..
    It’s surprising how it took me so long to stumble upon your blog…but it’s amazing.

    Reply

  201. 21centuryjane Says:

    never gonna un-follow you!

    Reply

  202. nikkix2 Says:

    So Jules,,sent me over here,,after hearing how super awesome you are on her blog. .And,,now you have put so much DAMN PRESSURE ON ME. i feel I must follow,,I wouldn’t want you to feel bad,,that I looked and didn’t follow,,I hate hurting peoples feelings, and I really wouldn’t want you going all suicidal and shit because I didn’t follow,,,,especially since your going all FBI bar hopping and I’m so sure your gonna be BB with one of them,,and then I just know you will hunt me down in my home country in Canada,(,I mean we live in igloo’s just how hard could it be to find me), and then you will hold me against my will until I hit the follow button anyway right?
    Crap,,now I’m really scared,,,,

    Reply

  203. Barry Orlando Says:

    Social media does not guarantee a permanent captive audience or a proactive one….most everyone will pause for a side show…and move on.

    Reply

  204. L Says:

    I love it, now that you’ve been Freshly Pressed it’s like Karma is making up for your heartbreaking misfortune of being unfollowed… I don’t know what I would do? Probably cry at first… then experience the other stages of loss in some random order. Good on yah, I had a good chuckle this morning reading this. Consider me a new follower :)

    Reply

  205. India Untouched Says:

    I find it pretty interesting and witty as well. :)

    Reply

  206. Gigi Galore Says:

    Oh I so “like” this! It is genius! I love it! You have me laughing out loud! You had me at “ a letter to the person who un-floowed me” omgosh this is so funny! Thankyou for making us all laugh so much! :)

    Reply

  207. dblayney Says:

    Reblogged this on db's Blog and commented:
    I hope I don’t have to send a letter like this

    Reply

  208. creeped Says:

    On the plus side, at least you have the followers to be in a position to unfollow you. Better to have blogged and lost then to have blogged and never have been read. That’s a saying, right?

    As for me, I don’t need the infamy of READERS. My stuffed animals are by my side and that’s all the support I need.

    Reply

  209. Rebekah Says:

    You, my fellow blogger, are hilarious. Love that last photo caption…”…and we’ll be all, ‘Sorry, it’s only for subscribers.'” LOL!! What does it feel like to have 530 + likes and nearly 300 comments on a single post? You really hit the nail on the head (damn!) because anyone who’s ever blogged feels your pain.

    Thanks for the laugh. ;)

    Reply

  210. R. Doug Wicker Says:

    In words I heard far too many times in adolesence: “It’s not you. It’s me.”

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist. Good, humorous blog. Very much enjoyed it.

    Reply

  211. melouisef Says:

    I am fairly new here so what happens – does your whole system shut down with a message Zing is not longer following you or what?
    Is it dangerous because if I have unfollowed anybody please forgive me it was a mistake!

    Reply

  212. paulbeforeswine Says:

    I just un-followed a couple of blogs. You made the cut. Congratulations.

    Reply

  213. CanadianTravelBugs Says:

    You are the first blog to make me laugh. Very well said. My blog has just started to take off and I get so excited to see the likes and follows. I notice some eople who left ‘likes’ don’t stop by as much and I feel the pressure to be witty and entertaining so they keep coming back. Now I think OH GOD does WP show UNFOLLOWS… I would be devistated :(

    Reply

  214. Momma Be Thy Name Says:

    Here you go, then. Here are a few followers to take his place. You should rent a bigger tree. ;-)

    Reply

  215. Marianne K Says:

    It wasn’t me, I swear it! Just in case, though, I started following you again.

    Reply

  216. maartground Says:

    lol! perfect saturday morning reading. thanks for the laughs…

    Reply

  217. segmation Says:

    I wouldn’t worry if someone unfollowed a blog like yours! They are missing some good blogging. Wouldn’t you agree?

    Reply

  218. Don't Quote Lily Says:

    So funny! Now you have yet another follower.

    Reply

  219. Lunar Euphoria Says:

    Ha! I recently “un-followed” about 10-15 blogs myself. I have the need to compulsively read every single post of the bloggers I follow. But there are so many cool blogs out there and I kept subscribing and subscribing until I wound up backlogged with 800 bloggy emails isitting in my inbox, at which point I realized I probably needed an intervention of some sort….or to get a life of my own.

    I’m a binge/purge reader.

    Maybe that’s what happened to your unfollower.

    Reply

  220. jcdkerwin Says:

    This post was pretty fantastic. You might be rather fantastic. I think I want to buy you a drink or bake you cookies or something.

    It has been decided: I need to follow you now.

    Reply

  221. mj monaghan Says:

    B-Man, love this post. Funny, but not with overly-done lit references. Well, not too overly-done. Um, maybe a bit much on the Thoreau and Toqueville.

    Okay, I can’t take it any longer. I’m gonna admit it:

    SO SORRY I UN-FOLLOWED YOU!

    I feel really bad, now. Following back. :)

    Reply

  222. thebusinessowl Says:

    Just what I need on a wet Summers Friday afternoon…..well, it is Ireland!
    We have the great good fortune to have Joseph O’Connor regularly contribute articles to DriveTime on RTE Radio 1 here and your style reminds me of him…so Thank You!

    We need more people like you in the world….well, not like you, but of your type…not that you are a type…but you know what i mean…hmmm..probably not!

    I’m just glad you are here and I get to be the sole beneficiary of your work, when all these others (protestations to the contrary!) unfollow you!

    Every best wish!

    Reply

  223. fromthericefields Says:

    Good post made me chuckle inside.

    Reply

  224. asoulwalker Says:

    De Toqueville has so many great one liners- even in english!

    Reply

  225. 8teen39 Says:

    You’re good! Much better than my Jewish mother who could always make me feel guilty. I just want to take a moment to apologize to all those I’ve ever unfollowed. It was totally my fault.

    Reply

  226. thelilmisfitconfessions Says:

    This is one of the BEST things i have ever read! *bows* I am not worthy :) I salute you my good sir *thumbs up*

    Reply

  227. Nikitaland Says:

    Dear Byronic Man,
    I just wanted to let you know that I just subscribed today to take the place of the horrible person who un-followed you. How dare they unsubscribe! What’s one more email in my inbox, it’s just one email, I’ve got room for one more from you & I can’t wait to start following you! Thanks for the great post, it made my day! http://www.nikitaland.wordpress.com

    Reply

  228. venavmo Says:

    SO, I’m new here (as of two days ago) and it took me about an hour of scrolling just to find this spot to leave a comment.. and truthfully, I can’t quite remember the thing i was going to say.
    I suppose a simple AMAZING would suffice. i definately enjoyed reading this.

    (oh wait, i remember)
    I had chosen to pick one random blog to read through to see if I was doing it right. Seems I picked a great one, possible too great. I love this and look foward to reading more.

    1up on your followers C:

    Reply

  229. thebeadden Says:

    Great post! You’re a funny guy. ;)

    Reply

  230. h82typ Says:

    This is one of the funniest things I’ve read! Thank you! :D

    Reply

  231. Feit Can Write Says:

    Ain’t no aggression like passive aggression :)

    Good stuff.

    Reply

  232. Occupy Film Says:

    Hilarious. Lol.

    Reply

  233. jessicajhill Says:

    Absolutely brilliant.

    Reply

  234. Madison Kelly Says:

    I feel like we’re a match made in blog heaven, and I will follow you ;) ~ Meow

    Reply

  235. Matt Paust Says:

    Hey, it was an accident, OK? A slip of a nervous digit. That’s all! Eaaasy now, big guy. Deeeeeep breath…another…deeeeeep…attaboy. In fact, it was a slip of the same damned digit that hit “follow” first, but I got used to you. You’re funny, mostly…I mean most of the time, Can’t win ;em all, right? In fact, it was when I was laffing so hard at what I considered your funniest yet that my finger did it’s spastic little dance and…ooops…

    Reply

  236. auntyamo Says:

    NOW I know why my blog will never appear on the ‘freshly pressed’ page on wordpress. All I can do is aspire to be like you and promise never to unfollow!

    How do you follow on this thing anyway….?

    Reply

  237. Richard McCargar Says:

    Freshly pressed brought me here, but your desperation kept me. Needy is good?!?

    Reply

  238. Side Yard Flock Says:

    Wow, you’re pretty freaking funny. I was albe to laugh at your blog while my children threw their syrup-covered plates all over my kitchen…so I suppose the fact that I must, now, mop my kitchen floor is your fault…and also why I can’t read tons of your past posts. Boo.

    Reply

  239. amatbloggerkid Says:

    Hey Byronic Man.
    your post was hilarious. but it kinda scared me too. I have just started my blog a few hours back. not to mention “ZERO” followers n subscribers Do people even Un-Subscribe???God.. now dats heartbreaking n too RUDE…
    well loved your post.

    Reply

  240. Marc Winger Says:

    Even if it’s not funny, it’s certainly something to read.

    Reply

  241. cesardagord Says:

    Mr Byronic Man. Let’s keep things in perspective here. If someone unfollows me, then I will have, let me see from my latest count, uhmmm… I will have about ZERO followers. I better not start wondering about this.

    Reply

  242. Mz Zoomer Says:

    This is absolutely hilarious. You tapped into a world of insecurities…Great job!

    Reply

  243. eva626 Says:

    first off…I am not sure you will reply back to my comment here, but I am crossing my fingers!!! this was the best post I read on freshly pressed…omg i loved it!!! so funny and entertaining..I am sure the person who unfriended you def came back. lol. good job. and GREAT POST!!!!

    i love you (haha)

    Reply

  244. Marti Parham Says:

    Congrats on being pressed.

    Reply

  245. jensine Says:

    bet after freshly pressed you’ll get 10 followers for every un-follower you have :-)

    Reply

  246. jamiemalone Says:

    I followed you, but don’t worry, if I decide I don’t like your blog, I am too passive-aggressive to unsubscribe. I’ll just ignore your posts in my reader instead. Thanks for the laugh on a day I really needed it.

    Reply

  247. becomingcliche Says:

    So happy for your FP! Congrats!

    Reply

  248. Eat Healthy Be Happy Says:

    Man, now I’m curious about the de Toqueville quote.

    Reply

  249. EmilyM Says:

    This makes me laugh. I’m pretty sure all bloggers (and all types of writers for that matter) are obsessive and overly critical.

    Reply

  250. nomaddness Says:

    Even though you already have WAY too many people “liking” your post which has probably swollen your head to sans-hat proportions, and even though I sprained my bird-finger scrolling down here to have my say (the point of which I’ve now completely forgotten – hey, I’m old – it happens), I’m going to jump on the dreaded band-wagon and like you some more. In fact, I think I might even (ugh) follow you because I hate hate hate to miss things and ….oh crap…where was I? I’m sure there are more born-again-followers in the hoard who beat me to the comment thing, but, just this once, I don’t care, and I’ll tell you why. It’s your spelling. It’s glorious!

    Reply

  251. Emily Says:

    You know I’ve always had the same conversation, usually in my head, about the people who choose to leave my blog. Great post and congrats on being freshly pressed!

    Reply

  252. kevinimills Says:

    Reblogged this on kimmblog.

    Reply

  253. pnwauthor Says:

    I could see John Cleese developing a comic routine around this post. Thoughts of “Fawlty Towers” and stale reruns of “Monty Pythons Flying Circus” passed through my brain.

    But another part of me is saying, hey, that’s life. Blog subscribers come and go. I’ve lost them too–on to greener blogs… c’est la vie. Bon voyage. Bon appetite.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      NO ONE MAY LEAVE! ALL MUST LOVE ME.

      Nah, I know what you mean. I always think that funny little “what? But I’m so nice!” moment is funny.

      Reply

      • pnwauthor Says:

        I hope no one ended up feeling guilty for unsubscribing to a blog. If people get tired of my blog, they are free to go, but be warned, they won’t get my brand of humor elsewhere…

        Reply

  254. winterseeker Says:

    You just earned yourself a follower – laugh on! :D

    Reply

  255. handmadebytracie Says:

    There was a point where I was very overwhelmed with e-mails. Even though I had my subscriptions set up to ‘weekly’, I unsubscribed to blogs I was following to de-clutter and de-stress the overwhelming volume of my inbox. I still visited the blogs to see what they were posting, just didn’t have them coming to my inbox.

    Eventually I set up my blog reader and when that happened I re-subscribed to those blogs (and a lot more) to keep everything centralized. So you never know… maybe your unsubscriber is going through something similar…

    Just trying to look for a positive angle here. It’s not always about us as bloggers and what we’re putting out there (even though it is so easy for us to take it that way). It’s sometimes just about what the readers have going on in their own lives and how they are trying to re-organize how they manage things.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I did something like that, too. There are a couple blogs I receive three times every time they post. I don’t have the heart to unfollow.

      Reply

      • handmadebytracie Says:

        They probably are sending out posts via e-mail when they make revisions (maybe they catch typos, etc).

        You can edit your e-mail subscription status to daily or weekly to reduce the e-mails and not have to unfollow. Maybe that will help!

        Reply

  256. bareyournaketruth Says:

    This is my first visit to your blog. What a great post – congratulations! Here is my problem: I want to return the favor and follow most of my followers, but my inbox is getting clogged. I don’t want to unfollow anyone, nor do I want to get a second email address just for the weekly updates. I wish WP offered the option to follow a blog and TURN OFF e-mail notifications. Any suggestions?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      It’s a toughie, isn’t it? There just isn’t time to read and respond as each blog deserves. Maybe try to get an unpaid intern to help…

      Reply

      • bareyournaketruth Says:

        I may have found the answer. Under the settings for “Blogs I Follow” there is an option to “block all e-mail updates from blogs you are following.” I hope this means I will not be getting any updates. I want to support other bloggers & the follow button is a great way to do that, however, the e-mails are just too much. I don’t have a need for an unpaid intern because I just delete the e-mails. I’ve always thought WP should offer the options of turning off all notifications (like facebook) and I hope this is the case with the option stated above (I believe it’s new within the last month or so because I don’t remember seeing it before that time).

        Reply

  257. cigarettesandmovies Says:

    This is just fiction, right? Right? No one would ever obsess over an “un-follower”, although there was this time…..
    Great post!

    Reply

  258. passionatetravellers Says:

    lols thats funny and true.

    Reply

  259. WutheringWillow Says:

    Funny post! Congratulations on making it to ‘Freshly Pressed’! :-)

    I have no idea who is following me let alone who un-followed me. If someone starts following me I actually get surprised. Who would want to read the boring stuff I churn out?

    Reply

  260. Kate Says:

    The beauty of your un-follow post is that I wasn’t a follower and now I am! I remember learning something in university about investments and dividends… but I wasn’t very good at it. Rants about feelings of inadequacy inflicted by inanimate objects over virtual mediums though? Hells yes!

    Feel free to drop by my space with your quotes, humour and insight any time.

    Look forward to reading more.

    Reply

  261. Marg Swarnabhoomi Says:

    Nice post.thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  262. Jamie Lee's Glass Mall Says:

    Great post! follwing you now! ;)

    Reply

  263. followechoes Says:

    So if I follow you, then unfollow you does that mean I get a letter?

    Reply

  264. erin Says:

    I bet it was all the whining.

    Reply

  265. Suzy Lake Says:

    Had me howling with laughter! Thank you!

    Reply

  266. mike and brandy Says:

    just read the article. funny stuff, but a bit pretentious and possibly insecure. don’t try so hard to sound clever or witty, it might leave a person feeling talked down to and ‘at’ rather than conversed ‘with’. i have this propensity as well for ‘one sided’ communication on my blog. it may be a reason it hasn’t taken off as well as i had hoped, and it may be a possible explanation for your ‘unfollow’ (but without the ‘fellow’ responding to you we might never know)
    mike

    Reply

  267. sweetazraa Says:

    I liked that blog it was funny! Hehehe Keep it up man that was good! Ha still laughing!

    Reply

  268. artzent Says:

    Wow! Great post: very funny,and most bloggers can relate. Guess you will have enough followers to offset your one unfollower! Count me it!

    Reply

  269. artzent Says:

    No, I am not your unfollower! I meant to say: COUNT ME IN! damn typing anyway!

    Reply

  270. At Home With God Says:

    Glad your post was freshly pressed so I could get a chance to read it. I loved your treatment of the topic. :)

    Reply

  271. Tim Mushey Says:

    Very clever! Loved this post. Thanks for sharing..

    Reply

  272. alienredqueen Says:

    I don’t know if this was all sarcasm and snark, (you know what they say; some humor is born of truth) but I personally will unfollow someone if too many of their posts in a row don’t interest me anymore. And actually, if you are subscribed to enough ppl, in CAN get overwhelming looking through all those inbox updates. Also, I have unsubscribed to people who repeatedly don’t acknowledge comments. If I take the time to comment on someone’s stuff (again, I say “repeatedly,”) to be ignored shows a lack of appreciation to me… and most bloggers do want to get read.

    Reply

  273. shiningabdul Says:

    Very funny! Being un-followed is the same as being dumped. Haha. Same exact emotional circle.

    Reply

  274. squeadly Says:

    Great blog. Definately worth Freshly Pressed status. Inspiration to us newbies!

    Reply

  275. triptracker Says:

    Hmmm makes me think twice about making that commitment to “Follow” in the future. What if I end up on America’s most wanted list for leaving someone. HAHAHA Great post!

    Reply

  276. Gabriella Says:

    Buahaha! Awesome post :)

    Reply

  277. Derek Osedach Says:

    Hahah. Great post, man! You really captured the essential trauma of realizing someone just un-followed you. It’s a hard knock for sure.

    Reply

  278. fastcook Says:

    Funny, yes. Overreacting, you already know. :)

    Reply

  279. avicarswife Says:

    it’s this post that made me follow you! so one out, one in. screw ‘em.

    Reply

  280. Anne Says:

    Wow, I’m all the way down here…. I like the blog. *raises toast*

    Reply

  281. mouseytong Says:

    LOL!!! OMG! This cracked me up. You have a great writing style! Keep these great posts coming! :)

    Congrats on being freshly pressed!

    Reply

  282. getyerwitsoutforthelads Says:

    I like this; I like this a lot. :)
    *Follows*

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed,
    Conor.

    http://getyerwitsoutforthelads.wordpress.com/

    Reply

  283. fmvt Says:

    Brilliant comments, yes it makes you realise un-following is a bit like being dumped, I love your response! :-D

    Reply

  284. Holiday Longing Says:

    It wasn’t me. I swear. This is my first visit.

    Reply

  285. HankeringforHistory Says:

    Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! It is so weird, I have only been un-followed once, and I lost four people at that one time. Note to self: Apparently talking about the Evolution of Firearms is a no-no. I will still to writing about history that offends no one, I guess….

    Reply

  286. whoopeeyoo Says:

    Reblogged this on whoopeeyoo! :D and commented:
    So damn funny! And spot on!

    Reply

  287. disseminatedthought Says:

    “Too many Simpsons references?”

    There can never be such a thing.

    Thank you for a thoroughly entertaining piece and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

    Reply

  288. frenchfry36 Says:

    How dare anyone unfollow you!!! Hilarious :)

    Reply

  289. auroranibori Says:

    So funny!! Lol, this was great – totally put a smile on my face :) :)

    Reply

  290. mittens4kittens Says:

    I’m sure was a case of “it’s not you, it’s me”.

    http://lostinimagination.wordpress.com/

    Reply

  291. sybaritica Says:

    Hey…look! Really, it’s not you … it’s me!

    Reply

  292. Carl Parmenter Says:

    I un-followed someone before, but the restraining order made it essential. I will now follow you instead, right up until it gets weird and you take out a restraining order as well

    Reply

  293. RNTomlinson Says:

    A wonderfully entertaining post where someone finally puts down in words what we all think!

    Congratulations, keep up the good work!!

    Reply

  294. Anarya Andir Says:

    Haha. I love how you can express this so perfectly. Well, I’m jumping on to the ‘follower’ bandwagon and I solemnly swear never to un-follow! :D Great post and congrats for being on Freshly Pressed!

    Reply

  295. Carol Dunnigan Says:

    Do you have time to read all these fantastic comments that I so agree with! lol Funny, funny post! I would be thinking the same thing! :) I too will follow you because you have a great sense of humor!

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well, I’d feel like I should read them if people take the time to write them, anyway; but do I have time to read a bunch of people saying nice things about me? Yes. Yes, I do.

      Reply

  296. dakrizzz Says:

    Hahaha Great!!

    Reply

  297. Colleen Moore Says:

    Clever! Very funny.

    Reply

  298. Searching for the Light Says:

    Well I am going to be different and not just jump on the follower bandwagon on the strength on one post. You did make me laugh, however, so I will be checking back from time to time and perhaps in the future you may warrant a click on the subscribe button, but boy, am I going to make you work for it! :)

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

    Reply

  299. falltogracie Says:

    “The Youtube” Life = Made.

    Reply

  300. The 3rd Coyote Says:

    I think I would be happy if I had enough followers that one would un-follow … I’m rather looking forward to it! Thanks for the heads up!

    Reply

  301. Ronique Nicole Says:

    Histerically funny… That’s so real though when u pay attention to much to your subscriber number it does make you think like that…

    Reply

  302. Ronique Nicole Says:

    Forget FBI agent dude, he was never good enough for you, I am following you now so we can look towards the future…

    Reply

  303. myownprivatemind Says:

    This post made me laugh out loud. I haven’t read anything else you’ve written yet (and it could all be total BS), but this is enough to get me to click “follow.” You have now arrived, my friend, because I am following your blog. (JK…I’m a total nobody. But I do know Thoreau.) :o) – Amanda

    Reply

  304. Sujata Says:

    I’m following you! :) and I promise I won’t un follow..I don’t roll like that. hahaha, I love your writing style!

    Reply

  305. stuart654 Says:

    That was great!

    Reply

  306. Deina Zartman Says:

    Dude, you rock! Congrats on the front page feature – good stuff! :)

    Reply

  307. Chad Crow Says:

    I laughed out loud. This post was super funny! It always makes me wonder what people unfollow too. Anyway, thanks for a great post, and congrats on freshly pressed! Please check out my blog @ onlychad.wordpress.com, and if you like what you see, subscribe! Thanks

    Reply

  308. twocentsplus Says:

    Well that worked …how’s that tree fort looking? Full? Congrats on being FP

    Reply

  309. maggiemaemoves Says:

    If I start to follow and replace the un-follower will that make the universe good again? BECAUSE I’LL DO IT; I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

    Reply

  310. Tina Wina Says:

    :-) Now you have lots more followers, so it all worked out well in the end. You won’t even miss what’s his name.

    Reply

  311. B. R. Shepherd Says:

    I go through a similar thought process when I lose Twitter followers. ^_~

    Reply

  312. littlebiglauren Says:

    maybe someone deleted their blog. ha

    Reply

  313. Candy Says:

    I am glad I stumbled upon your blog on the freshly pressed page! Due to your blog being humorous and a mini brain vacation (for me anyways), I am now following you. :D Looking forward to reading your future blogs!

    Reply

  314. chellbyjaye Says:

    I think you’re pun-ny. So I’d never un-follow you.

    Okay, I’d try to never un-follow you.

    Fine, fine… I’d never un-follow you on days the start with “Wednes-“.

    Maybe.

    Reply

  315. happygoluckygal Says:

    So I decided , I need to “follow” you :):)

    Reply

  316. India pied-à-terre Says:

    One of my un-followers commented to tell me exactly why she was un-following. I had lost my way. I had become boring and was no longer delivering specifically what she wanted. There were other un-followers but I never forgot the one who told why. I even Googled her! Cripes. Torture. I deleted the whole post but unfortunately can’t delete the comment from memory!

    Reply

  317. africanstardust Says:

    I might write a letter to WordPress thanking them for featuring this post on Freshly Pressed, a) because it made my day a little bit and b) because now I have an amazing new blog to follow. So much amazingness.

    Reply

  318. bodastory Says:

    Hahaha great post, just for making me laugh out loud… *presses follow* :-)

    Reply

  319. Saajida Says:

    Love the post! :)

    Reply

  320. alterego Says:

    Reblogged this on alterego.

    Reply

  321. asweeterthing Says:

    L.O.V.E this. Like all my blogger thoughts captured on “paper”. Excellent. Excellent.

    Reply

  322. humblehedonist Says:

    Yes me too, thank you – I’ll have one of those.

    Reply

  323. tjwebby Says:

    Time for you to get a bigger hat! Another new subscriber has found your blog

    Reply

  324. Julia Dawn Says:

    What’s wrong with only showing half my face?

    Reply

      • Julia Dawn Says:

        Hello,

        I made a rookie mistake and now I receive an email every time someone comments on this blog. It’s exciting until I realize they are just all for you. Then it’s just depressing. So I was wondering if you could be a chum and delete my dimwitted comment? I sincerely apologize for time lost. I know you’re busy being funny. I do enjoy your blog though, just for the record. Thank you! Kind regards!

        Reply

  325. pixiepot Says:

    Excellent post, Byronic Man. You’ve just gained a new follow from me, sir. ;) Please, do confront me if I ever am to un-follow you, not that I will be doing that any time soon, mind.

    I admire your blog, it’s very good. :) Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed and have a wonderful day, sir. :)

    Reply

  326. Debra Says:

    HYSTERICAL !!

    Reply

  327. the secret of searching Says:

    REALLY enjoyed your read! As someone with a smaller- but I’d argue, more intimate- circle of friends than most people, I am very conflicted about Facebook and social networking. I feel that in many ways, it has helped me to form a specific idea of how I want to viewed, maybe even remembered? How I wish to portray myself, and why. I know Facebook has also helped me be more outgoing and meet up with more people than I ever did before, because I was a little shy.

    On the other hand, lots of people I know use it to compare their lives to others, which is a recipe for depression. Clearly you are experiencing some anxiety over social media in that people have “unfollowed” your blog. I will be hosting a women’s discussion group next week, on the topic of social media. I’ll post the link to the blog on it after I’ve written it up in a week or so, would love to hear more on your views!

    Reply

  328. Don't Worry, Be Happy Says:

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, Byronic Man!

    I came across this post on another blog today and it seemed like a response to your post (other than the fact that he’s talking about a Twitter account). Check it out: http://changethegame.ca/2012/06/02/140-characters-of-my-life-that-ill-never-get-back/

    Reply

  329. Mansi Gandhi Says:

    I will NEVER unfollow you Byronic Man!!!

    Reply

  330. jcgator1 Says:

    Lol, I started following you because of this blog, lol.

    Reply

  331. Ayokunle Falomo Says:

    I laughed my butt off…only that it was still there afterwards. This was funny.

    Reply

  332. Sarah S. Says:

    Ha ;) Not even my mother comments on my blog, but that doesn’t stop me from writing and secretly wondering how flippin’ busy the 50-60 visitors are, who apparently read it, but can’t take a nano-second to hit “like” or say, “Whattup girl? I love reading endless posts about your kid’s digestive system!” Now I know what to do. Thank you.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      My mom doesn’t either – she thought that might give the wrong sense of success in the early days if my only comments were from my mom.

      Reply

    • RIEDEL Fascination Says:

      Sarah and others: I know! Subscribers are rising from my community participation but personal comments sure are at a premium. I respond sparingly (see earlier) because dial-up doesn’t load more than 1 webpage well. You need e-mail to load a link. Then you’re at another page, hotmail takes ages to log out… I wouldn’t read half as many if I couldn’t glance via e-mail. A lot of great people worth knowing.

      About deleting facebook ‘friends’, I never liked the network and Myspace grew futile. I do like friends in the true sense but it’s about readership for me too. We put something up and want folks to see it, share reactions. Here’s mine to many of your replies! :)

      Reply

  333. Grumpa Joe Says:

    Just keep doin’ what you been doin’. I unfollowed everyone I follow because I took a trip and didn’t want all the email notices to follow me on my iphone.

    Reply

  334. JAP Says:

    Its afternoon here in Asia and am at work, but this blog just made my day :)

    Reply

  335. brownponytail Says:

    i followed you, instead of the “unfollower”. there, don’t be sad anymore. :)

    Reply

  336. IshitaUnblogged Says:

    Fantastic! Hilarious, sarcastic and so truely explains what I feel sometimes:)

    Reply

  337. solfasila Says:

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    Just wanna say sorry.
    ( great post in my opinion)

    Reply

  338. Zohan Says:

    Bad karma will follow the person who unfollowed you lol.

    Hilarious!

    Reply

  339. Notes From The Backseat Says:

    This is my first time on your blog… I don’t know you well enough to “un-follow” you, yet ;-)

    Reply

  340. yasmeen Says:

    This just made my sunday night!

    Reply

  341. andshelaughs Says:

    Oh Byronic Man – I feel your pain. Recently someone I know ( a colleague ) unsubscribed and then left a really nasty message. ????? I still love you.

    Reply

  342. recipesfortherealworld Says:

    Hillarious! I had to follow you simply based on this post!

    Reply

  343. Lizzy's Dark Fiction Says:

    I followed you just so that I could un-follow you.

    Reply

  344. My Inner Chick Says:

    I think I’m in love…

    Now, I must subscribe. To your unfollowers: They need an Ass Kickin’

    Reply

  345. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky Says:

    500 and some comments later I get to the bottom of your comment list. No wonder nobody follows you! But just to make you feel better I clicked on the follow button.
    Great post.
    Susie sent me.

    Reply

  346. DUH'Merica Says:

    Great post, love your deep-witted sarcasm. I found you via Susie’s blog. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Take care

    Reply

  347. Angelia Sims Says:

    How do you know when someone unfollows you? Dammit. Thought that was anonymous. Geez, maybe someone should start a blog-witness protection program. For all those snarly unfollowers. Now, I’m off to track down mine……….

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      All you have to do is have an unhealthy interest in the number of your followers, that way when you go to your site-stats page and see that it’s one lower than when you went to bed you can over-react appropriately.

      Reply

  348. Polysyllabic Profundities Says:

    I, like the many others above, will now subscribe to ease your suffering. Hey, I may be six months late, but better late than never. Right? Did I miss the cake and the animal balloons?

    Reply

  349. rich Says:

    really? that was FP? the more i read what “is,” the less i’m disappointed that i “isn’t”

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      It’s funny, because lord know we’ve all seen featured pieces and thought ‘Really? That got FP?’ But it has never even occurred to me to go to the person’s comments and tell them ‘I think your writing is bad and any attention it receives is unmerited.’ To each his own, I guess. Thanks anyway for coming by? I think?

      Reply

      • rich Says:

        well, here’s the thing – you’re writing about someone who no longer follows you. how would you even know? do you get a message saying joe whoever stopped following you? joe whoever no longer subscribes to you? i don’t think that happens or i surely would have seen some by now. and if it doesn’t happen, then do you go through your list of followers and make sure the number is still the same or at least hasn’t shrunken? are you that obsessive?

        and i realize that likely it’s just supposed to be a humor piece and not to be taken seriously, but it makes you look a little self-absorbed and/or paranoid.

        Reply

  350. aliceatwonderland Says:

    Oh, lol, that is too damn perfect. I have just written about not caring about followers anymore. Yup. Not one bit. I have seen the light. I’ll just keep my 183 . . . shit, did that number just go down again? Uh, nope, nope, I didn’t even notice. :D I think you have plenty of fans left. :D

    Reply

  351. arabian roses Says:

    Salam .It’s kind of you to notice those who unfollowed you maybe it’s their way to make you feel their presence ,and to see if you really care =) im sure they know now ,i hope they will be back soon =)

    Reply

  352. aaforringer Says:

    I followed you right before I read this post, now I am re-thinking my cavalier use of the follow button, if that fellow did not like you maybe I should not either. This is going to have me thinking all night.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Oh, I’m crazy likable. In fact, the person who unfollowed me did so because the liking was getting too all-consuming. Although there’s a chance I’m making that up.

      Well, hardly matters, because now – fortunately – clicking “follow” on my blog is a legally binding contract.

      Reply

  353. jollof Says:

    I can’t believe I didn’t read this any sooner, lol! Nice letter *thumbs up*

    Reply

  354. Ankur Mithal Says:

    Straight from the heart!!

    Reply

  355. She-who-shall-not-be-named Says:

    If it was meant to be they will re-follow you, you don’t need them, you deserve better, and any other platitudes I am forgetting. Hope you have recovered by now. They say it takes half the amount of time that person was following you, for you to reconcile that they are no longer reading your every word…

    Reply

  356. brodiemitchell Says:

    I just came across your blog – has made my day. Love the creativity and humour. I just started blogging and Ive found it to be somewhat similar to opening a burger joint in a giant food court…so far my mum is my only follower….SO I share your concern for loosing followers. Please if anyone reads this, please go and be my number 2 follower….thanks heaps and I promise, I will never unfollow you!

    Reply

  357. christineespeer Says:

    This is perfect! You are hilarious.

    Reply

  358. shootscomedy Says:

    I will follow you! I guess I should probably subscribe first though…

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Certainly gives you leverage when I’m like, “Dude! Get away from my window!”
      “Don’t make me unsubscribe from your blog…”
      “*sigh* Fine. Just don’t get fingerprints all over the glass, please.”

      Reply

  359. lizziearias Says:

    Just as I suspected…you ARE an evil genius!

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Help I am in a soup and it’s tasty…. « somkritya - June 19, 2012

    […] foxes who makes ads ◊ shall i hack Susie’s profile and get freshly pressed twice or like The Byronic Man get freshly pressed writing a tribute to the unfollowee( that is a real word) ◊ oh how about […]

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