Archive | Humor RSS feed for this archive

Press Conference Excerpt From When I Am President: #2

December 16, 2010

2 Comments

President Me: … farm allocation thing.  Next question?  Bill. Bill: Doesn’t it seem risky to dump the entire defense budget into space exploration? PM: I don’t follow. B: Well, I mean, we’re… okay, let me ask you this: what is it that you’re hoping to accomplish that requires 50% of our federal budget? Samantha: And […]

Continue reading...

They Can Also Scoff, Sneer, and Snort Sarcastically.

December 12, 2010

3 Comments

Plain and simple.  There’s just no masculine way to call a cat. Even if there isn’t someone in the vicinity – and there usually is, and it’s usually some guy dismantling the engine of his car down to individual molecules or something – you still feel the sting of it.  Try it sometime.  Try to […]

Continue reading...

Obviously, It Will Be In 3D. Obviously.

December 8, 2010

1 Comment

So I’m a big fan of Christopher Nolan’s films.  I’m particularly a fan of his collaboration with his brother Jonathan, because his brother is a prose writer, primarily, and lends a really interesting literary undercurrent to the films.  People who hated the end of Dark Knight tend to hate it because it wasn’t a very […]

Continue reading...

And That, Ming-Mai, Is Why I Pretended Not To See You At The Bus Stop.

December 1, 2010

5 Comments

Any time someone says they’re afraid of something, people immediately label it a “phobia,” which is, let’s face it, silly.  You stand on the edge of a high cliff, look out over the side amidst gusts of wind and then step back saying, “whoa” or something and people say, “Oh, you have a fear of […]

Continue reading...

“Well sir, if you’re going to bring nice, leather luggage, you’re going to get claw marks.”

November 24, 2010

0 Comments

There’s this hotel M and I love at the coast – which  I suppose right there gives away a sense of my geographic location… People don’t really talk about going to the “beach” in Oregon.  It’s not just idiomatic, it’s just that going to the “beach” carries a set of expectations with it: bathing suits, […]

Continue reading...

Oh, Mike Score Was The Lead Singer Of A Flock Of Seagulls

November 12, 2010

6 Comments

Many years ago I tried to take a new approach to first dates.  Instead of dancing around the “getting to know you” questions, I tried to come up with some fun questions to just throw right out there.  Full disclosure: these questions were only field-tested once in an actual “date” capacity, and it was a New-Coke-level […]

Continue reading...

The First Post: Come on in and have a seat. Thanks for being here. Everyone comfortable? Excellent…

November 8, 2010

9 Comments

So, here we are then.  Congratulations all around, everyone’s done a bang up job, and it’s going to be a great time, I’m sure, and I hate to be a “meeting guy” but, first thing’s first: some basic foundational points. Yes, look, I know we’re all excited to get going, but there are just a […]

Continue reading...