I had an idea. An idea that bubbled up from some terrible dark place. It was an idea for my own award, which I am introducing today, in hopes that people will connect with it, and pass along their own winners.
The basis of the Jafees is blogs that do something, or have some component, or method, or even something in a single post that you saw and thought, “I wish I’d done that so badly I kind of hate them right now. God DAMN IT, I wish I’d done that.”
Yes, it’s the Jafees: the “Jealous-As-Fuck” awards!
How it works: you simply list 5-7 blogs who’ve done the thing you’re so jealous of, explaining it, and linking to the site/post. The key is that these posts or sites have something that actually drove you beyond appreciation to a borderline unhealthy reaction.
If you win a Jafee, you’re under no obligation to do anything at all. Here’s the button though, suitable for printing, laminating, and framing. Or putting on your site. Or whatever.
So can you award some Jafees? Hell yes, you can! You can even call them the “Jealous-As-F***” awards! pass ’em on!
But here’s mine:
Though this list is by no means comprehensive, the winners, in no particular order, of the first round of Jafees for The Byronic Man are…
List Of X: This is such a great idea for a blog, and such a catchy name. Each post is a list of ten things (X? 10? Eh? Eh?), satirizing current events. This is so damned clever and gives you such a clear framework for people to know what to look for from your site. Damn it, that’s a good idea. DAMN IT.
The Good Greatsby: I’ve have so many instances of Greatsby doing something I was thinking about doing, then doing it first and better, that I started to suspect he had cameras in my house. (Note: not really) If you read some of the earliest entries of my blog, I was planning to do a persona akin to the character Steve Martin perfected in the ‘70s: the way-too-confident performer who believes he’s amazing, yet is incompetent. I abandoned it when I saw how well Greatsby was doing it; I felt like I’d be, at best, imitating. To be clear, I’m referring to the character of Greatsby, not Paul Johnson, the author. But that was only the beginning. Ideas for posts. I made a new banner? He made a new banner that was way better. I was even planning to do a recurring joke on an obsessive crush on an actress… and he did the gimmick first with that very actress!
Go Jules Go. Yes, Jules and I are good friends. I’m not including her to be nice. Her site is consistently funny and clever, and companies send her ‘stache-glasses gratis, and she can organize a giveaway like nothing I’ve ever seen. But there was one post, about winning blog awards in fact, in which she weeps with joy at “winning” that just made me angry that I hadn’t thought of doing that, and thought of it first. And I’ll link to it as soon as I find it again…
A Clown On Fire: Holy crap does this guy know how to promote and create online community. This is a man who knows that you’re selling the sizzle, not the steak. And I in no way mean this as a back-handed compliment; the steak Le Clown is serving is excellent. But I am awful at promoting myself and my stuff. My failures at promotion would be legendary, except for my inability to promote it. Sometimes I think “Okay! This is it! Get ready world, because you’re about to get The Byronic Man shoved down your gullet like a tablespoon of pure cinnamon!” and then I re-tweet that I’ve got a new post up and run and hide under a blanket, sure that I must seem like some kind of egomaniac. Le Clown is fantastic at bringing people in and making them feel connected, and at keeping himself on the radar. One example: his gravatar is clever, apt and jumps out of the screen. Look at any post he’s “liked.” Any. Doesn’t matter if 75 people have liked it, look at the array of gravatars for 1 second and his will be the one that pops out. List of X has a ridiculously eye-catching gravatar, too.
K8edid. She had this “7 Deadly Sins” short story competition (well, 7 competitions) that was just inspired. In fact, it inspired me to punch my brain for not thinking of it.
Hyperbole and A Half. Yes, I realize this is, literally, one of the most popular blogs in the world. That’s actually down on the list of why I’m so jealous of this site. Top reasons: First, her drawings. I had intended to do my stick figure posts here almost since the beginning, then didn’t (for more than a year) for fear of seeming like I was imitating. Second, she recently did a remarkable post on depression. I use humor as a defense mechanism to keep people from getting to know me. Don’t believe me? Check out my “Get To Know Me” page, in which I spend the first half telling obvious lies – on my get to know me page. I’ve been working up the courage to do a stick-figure post about my life-long struggles with depression, and even have a draft… and now I CAN’T. The kicker is that she lives in the same town I do. I can’t even pretend I’m the most popular blogger in my zip code. It’s a little like playing in a band you’re pretty pleased with, and every time you play bars you get a good turn out… but Bono lives down the street.