Okay, you know the 7 Deadly Sins. Lust, sloth, greed, etc. (you can rent Se7en if you need a refresher). Well I’ve always wondered why there isn’t an 8th. You have to understand, though, I don’t mean “sin” in the sense of the pet-peeves of a petulant God, fuming from the heavens.
I mean in the sense of something that is perhaps healthy or affirming of the great things in life in its origins – even celebratory of God, if you want to keep it theological – but consumes one to the point of self-destructiveness. Something that takes control of you.
For me, the 8th deadly sin is this: Regret.
You know how sometimes there will be interviews with big, successful people? And inevitably, they ask this question: “Do you have any regrets?” And the respondent, inevitably, says the same thing:
And I always wonder, are they serious? Are they delusional? Are they sociopaths? Who doesn’t have regrets? You certainly don’t get to be a captain of industry without doing some things that any rational person would regret. And it seems like a positive thing to look at your life and see the things you wish you’d done differently. That’s called wisdom. To paraphrase the great Muhammad Ali, if you think the same things at 50 that you do at 30, haven’t you wasted 20 years?
But then there’s me. I am the opposite of these “I don’t believe in regret” people. I can get consumed with regret. Paralyzed with regret. I have, quite literally, lay awake at night micro-managing how I’d have done things differently if I had the chance.
It’s pathetic. And pointless. And – here’s the “sin” part – it not only takes away from time that could be spent doing things, it focuses my mind on being utterly ungrateful for the things in my life. Because that is, of course, the implication. That everything would be better “if only”, and that what “is” isn’t good enough.
In the depths of regret-binges, it only seems rational. I mean, I’m human – I think I’m a pretty decent person, but my life (oh, man, especially my youth) is riddled with terrible decisions and stupid mistakes and totally botched relationships.
But maybe it’s because writing plays such a role in my life – it can seem genuinely malicious that life is a first draft.
And then I waste time regretting things, instead of doing them. Which I then of course regret. Yes, I regret regretting things. And then regret that. And so on, contuining in to some crazed reductio ad absurdum until there’s only one logical outcome.
I remember once I saw this 3-legged dog. The owner was saying that after the leg was removed there was this, of course, short period when the dog went to walk and it didn’t work out.
But then very, very soon, the dog adjusts, and moves forward. Like this is how it’s always been.
In my efforts to re-route my thinking, I’ll sometimes – as regret starts its cycle – murmur to myself, “3-legged dog. 3-legged dog” as a sort of short-hand for “You have so much. You have what you have to move forward with.” And sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. And then I get mad at myself for not being able to embrace the future. And then I regret that regret…
And, well, you know where that ends up…
*
*
*
p.s. – Yes, I know there are a couple of typos in the pictures. You have no idea how much I regret that…
The Byronic Man 
January 7, 2013 at 3:27 am
This is so completely phenomenal that I’m having trouble coming up with anything else to say.
Well. For starters: F*ck Amy.
But yes. It seems like such an insult to the present to live in any other moment, but god, it’s like crack some(most)times. You can even use the writer card to try to get away with it. (Love the first draft metaphor.) I’ve wasted so much of my life fantasizing instead of acting. I really regret that, too.
January 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Really, bashing Amy was the main point I was trying to make. The rest is filler. So, good job, you.
January 7, 2013 at 3:37 am
No matter what I write here, I’m going to wish it had been wittier and more topical as soon as I hit the “submit comment” button. Then, tomorrow, I’ll forget that I commented at all and go to write something witty in this box only to discover that someone else already wrote it better and sooner. Then I’ll see this comment and regret writing it again.
January 7, 2013 at 2:39 pm
See, and in writing is exactly where there should always be the “edit” option. I’ve changed blog posts that Im 100% confident no one will read again, just because I feel better. Same should go for comments.
January 7, 2013 at 2:41 pm
I could easily write an entire post on comment regrets, which I would undoubtedly regret posting once I did.
January 7, 2013 at 3:52 am
Thank you for the 3 legged dog. It will move me forward when I’m stuck replaying conversations I had 10 years ago and thinking of better things I could have said, better facial expressions, better hand gestures…doesn’t everyone do that?
January 7, 2013 at 2:40 pm
Well, I hope you have a higher success rate than I do. I try, but it’s a mixed success at best.
January 7, 2013 at 3:52 am
I read somewhere that I should have a chant for running, a short, calm affirmation, because “You better not stop those feet, fatty” was kind of hurting my spirit. I switched to “Calm & Strong” but couldn’t stick with it. After all, my heart was exploding not calm, and my knees were more wimpering than strong. I think, starting today, I’m going to use the “3-legged dog” thing” and try to be grateful. Running would suck significantly more if I were missing a limb.
January 7, 2013 at 2:41 pm
My main chant running – and, yes, this is weird – is “lily pad.” It has a nice cadence for keeping my pace up, but I also visualize lily pads scattered across a lake and trying to run across them. Keeps me “light” and short, quick steps instead of giant, plodding ones. In theory.
January 7, 2013 at 3:57 am
I regret not having anything profound to add – you write so eloquently about this. Quite a few years ago I added “I don’t want to regret doing/not doing this” as a reason for doing/not doing something. I hope Amy knows that she does, indeed, suck.
January 7, 2013 at 2:42 pm
Thanks. I think the stick figures might be a nice deflector for me to write about more personal stuff. Always need that deflector.
And Amy knows. Deep down.
January 7, 2013 at 3:09 pm
I have often wondered if, deep down, the Amies of the world know. But I’ll bet she doesn’t regret any of it.
January 7, 2013 at 4:21 am
I never liked Amy. I regret not telling you that at the time.
I feel everything in this post, right up to and including the big boom. I knew as my 20s were happening that I was missing my 20s, but I rationalized that I was getting some things out of the way and when I got to my 40s, I would still be young enough to enjoy life. It didn’t work that way because now everyone in their 40s is busy doing what I was doing in my 20s. When I (oh, my stomach turns to admit this) find myself regretting, I feel guilty, because I did some important things in my 20s. Regret + guilt = BOOM!
Augh — you picked the perfect 8th sin!
January 7, 2013 at 2:43 pm
Yeah, I’ve had a number of those moments: “I’m missing it. Right now. I’m missing this part of my life.” You’d think that would kick start you, wouldn’t you…
January 7, 2013 at 4:30 am
This subject can easily take over and have me begging for a switch to turn off my head. One of my biggest regrets is sacrificing 8 years of my youth to someone who wasn’t worthy of a minute. Him & Amy would probably be a lovely couple. Now, I have the pleasure of watching my daughter do the same exact thing!! I can tell my personal story to her until I’m blue in the face and still get “mom, that was you, not me.” It breaks my heart knowing she will regret this decision 10 years from now. But, it’s her lesson this time, not mine. It’s worse watching your kid make a shitty decision.
January 7, 2013 at 2:50 pm
The great cosmic joke of youth: by the time you realize we’ve all gone down the same path, you’re really far down it, watching people behind you ignore your cautions as well.
January 7, 2013 at 4:31 am
This was one of your best posts. Loved it. I think you’ve managed to sum up what most everyone struggles with and still managed to end it on a positive note. Move forward! Embracing the present fully is something I’m still working on. And I think the most important thing we can do is to forgive ourselves the past. Then let it go. It can be a long a process to rearrange your thinking patterns and break free–but so worth it.
January 7, 2013 at 2:51 pm
I’m not quite to the forgiveness stage. You’re completely right, but that may be the toughest part.
January 7, 2013 at 4:37 am
I’ll bet Amy has something to do with the reason why the dog only has three legs. The fiend.
January 7, 2013 at 3:07 pm
The worst was that early on she told me how she behaves when she’s trying to break it off but doesn’t want to do the hard part… then started acting that way… then denied it… then was, in fact, trying to break it off without doing the hard part…
January 7, 2013 at 5:06 am
I wish I could draw as well as you. That’s my regret ~ I never took stick-person drawing in art class. Damn. Thanks for rubbing it in my face.
January 7, 2013 at 3:08 pm
It’s never too late! The Royal Academy Of Stick-Figury at Canterbury is a tough school to get in to, but totally worth it.
January 7, 2013 at 5:30 am
From your initial description of the 8th Deadly Sin, I was pretty sure it was going to be “checking your blog stats.” Great post and terrific start to the week. Thanks.
January 7, 2013 at 5:59 am
I’m a three-legged table. Always a little wobbly. At least the dog licks your face. What good comes from a crooked table? Everything slides off? What a mess.
Also, I blame Amy. Amy’s are ALWAYS mean.
(Except any of your readers who might be named Amy.)
See now I regret writing that.
But I’m still pushing SUBMIT.
January 7, 2013 at 3:09 pm
I had to think for a bit before publishing – do I know any Amy’s who might possibly think I’m referring to them? I don’t think so… I hope not…
January 20, 2013 at 4:25 pm
Im an Amy. I can confirm that most of us are quite mean. I suspect it comes from being one of the eleventy billion baby girls born in 1977-80 that were named Amy, and feeling that pressure to rid ourselves of the last initial to tell us apart in school and be known simply as “Amy…the mean one”.
January 20, 2013 at 7:01 pm
I suppose that would do it. The hard part would be being meaner than all the mean Amy’s. Like the movie Highlander but with ego-crippling comments instead of swords.
January 7, 2013 at 6:52 am
Such a great post. And I love the stick guy drawings. Do that more.
Three-legged dogs fare better in shelters. No, really — they are more often adopted because of the novelty factor. In fact, if I were a shelter dog, I might consider gnawing off my own leg just to better my chances. No regrets.
I am extremely past-oriented as you know, so regret is definitely my thing. I used to beat myself up for not going to a different college, that I didn’t ever study abroad, that I stayed in a bad relationship for far too long. Etc. Etc. My husband (aka soulmate) pointed out that had I not followed this exact route and made all those poor decisions, I never would’ve met him. Good stuff, eh? So now I start out all my regret declarations with, “If I could go back and change things, and it wouldn’t alter the course of my current life, ….” But Marty McFly says that’s impossible.
January 7, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Hey there Lil’ Miss Freshly Pressed! Thanks for dropping by!
Oh, I’ve covered that, as well – “How can I redo everything so I’m a billionaire philanthropist rock star auteur AND still meet my wife and current friends?”
January 7, 2013 at 7:16 am
Well I’m not at all successful but I’ve said, ‘I haven’t any regrets’ since I was a teen — and I could tell you some stories!
It’s all learning experiences. Even the really bad stuff, if you survive, you’ve learnt something. I regret slapping a guy’s face Friday night but I’m sure we’ll both get over it.
January 7, 2013 at 3:12 pm
I try to take the “eudaimonic” approach – that there’s no way to assess until the end, but I still get hung up on what I wish had been done better. I’m envious that you can maintain the “it’s all a learning process” attitude.
January 8, 2013 at 7:24 am
The alternative would be liking myself less than I already do. I’m already bad, evil and a massive disappointment, so hating myself for ___ seems a waste of hatred.
January 7, 2013 at 7:23 am
Amazing post… I have quite a couple huge regrets in my life. So when any tiny ones come up, I always compare it with the big ones and they magically go away. I’m sure it’s completely unhealthy to make the big ones bigger, but it works. Until that point where I’m going to regret this strategy.
January 7, 2013 at 7:24 am
I guess I couldn’t decide between “a couple” and “quite a few”…
January 7, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Oh, I don’t know – I like the idea of “I have a couple of huge regrets… and it’s quite a couple…”
January 7, 2013 at 3:13 pm
Oh, and thanks for the nod on your site! Funny that you’re referencing the Stick Figure one in Winnemucca the day I do another stick figure post.
January 7, 2013 at 7:28 am
I can relate to the head blowing up drawing. Is that also a metaphor for wanting to “control, alt, delete,” all of your regrets? Yeah baby. Go ahead. Blow mine sky high!
January 7, 2013 at 3:14 pm
I’d also like to “ctrl alt delete” people’s memories of some of my dumber moments.
January 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm
Wouldn’t that be great??? Maybe we could learn to brainwash those memories out of them with hypnotic suggestion…
January 7, 2013 at 7:37 am
Ah Regret… that self-indulgent, Bitch-Whore. My thoughts: Indeed.
I’m still envious of your stick figurines… you rock the socks off of those!
January 7, 2013 at 3:15 pm
And a tenacious bitch, too, isn’t she? “Yeah, I get it. I regret that.” “Oh, I think we should run over it a few times.”
Her sister, Jealousy, is pretty mean too. Especially when they work together.
January 7, 2013 at 3:33 pm
Oh, I’ve left Jealousy along the side of a desert road long, long ago. She was of no use to me at all. Her twin, Envy, does show up once in a while – but we’re cordial.
January 7, 2013 at 7:48 am
You’re right about regret being the 8th deadly sin. I can get so bogged down with regret that I become paralyzed with “would’ve,” could’ve,” “should”ve.” But your story of the three legged dog helps a lot. I once knew a woman who had a dog with a withered deformed leg that was unusable and Mikey the dog got around just fine without the use of a fourth leg. I doubt he ever regretted he didn’t have a fourth leg. I need to be more like Mikey and go with what i have. I tried to do that over Christmas and instead of lamenting that things didn’t go as planned, accept and embrace the good times that happend. It was a much better way to spend the holidays. I had the best holiday season in memory. Great post we all can learn from.
January 7, 2013 at 3:16 pm
Holidays and big ceremonies are the real challenge – but also the perfect occasions. After all, it’s the imperfections that often make the best memories.
January 7, 2013 at 7:55 am
Brills.
Wait. I regret using that word. It makes me sound like an empty-headed teenager.
DO OVER!
Brilliant.
Phew. Crisis averted.
I’m not a big regretter, though the older I get, the more I find to make me go, “Not regretting things is dumb.” But I totally get your point about it being the eighth deadly sin. I mean you’re exactly right. Really. Any priest would have a tough time batting that back. I love-love-LOVE the facial expressions on the stick figures – particularly the furrowed brow in bed, thinking when you totally should be sleeping because Baby Byronic is going to wake you up and make you regret not sleeping. And the head-explosion cel is just really disturbing. I’ve never seen a stick figure without its head before.
Also? I just finished a great book about a psycho named Amy, I mean JUST finished it at 2:45am, and when I read your Amy I thought it was her. And she DOES suck.
January 7, 2013 at 3:18 pm
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I regret things at the expense of what I have.”
“That’s not a sin.”
“Damn well should be.”
“Yeah… probably…”
January 7, 2013 at 8:43 am
I am often “paralyzed with regret.” A prisoner in my own mind. I’d love to remove the shackles and live in the present but I’m always looking in the rear view mirror. And believe me it’s an ugly reminder!
January 7, 2013 at 3:19 pm
A Benadryl before bed often helps. Sure, there are studies linking extending Benadryl use to Alzheimers but… you know…
January 7, 2013 at 8:52 am
Regrets are totally the curse of being human. You’re right – animals don’t seem to do that. Reggie has eaten one of my socks and then gotten terribly sick the next day. Never once did he seem to have the thought – you know, I kinda regret eating that sock. Nope. He just tried to eat another sock.
Love your drawings. Keep `em coming.
January 7, 2013 at 3:20 pm
I have a cat who, when he was a kitten, HAD to know what that fascinating sound was coming from the toilet as I peed into it. So he charged in and dove right in to the bowl.
Then he did it again a couple days later.
He’s not the smartest cat in town.
January 7, 2013 at 9:14 am
Regrets? What are these regrets you speak of? I laugh in the face of these supposed regrets. Hahahahaha. In fact, the stool I stand upon proclaiming my lack of regrets is actually a 3 legged dog. That’s how lacking in regrets I am!!
I do not regret loving that drawing of the head exploding either. See? Completely lacking in regrets.
January 7, 2013 at 3:21 pm
I’d love to feel that way for one day. Just one day. I think there’d be drugs involved, which I’d probably regret later… but man that’d be liberating.
January 7, 2013 at 10:22 am
Well, I don’t really blieve in regrets either. You are the person you are today because of the things you did in the past. If you regret your past you regret who you have become. Do I wish I had done some things differently? Sure. But then I’d be someone else and I like who I am.
Also, Amy WAS a bitch. I can’t stand her.
January 7, 2013 at 3:22 pm
All of which I agree with, conceptually – intellectually. My left brain is right there with you. My right brain, though, just won’t let it go at that.
January 7, 2013 at 3:28 pm
Perhaps an intervention is in order?
January 7, 2013 at 3:34 pm
Where do I sign up?
January 7, 2013 at 3:39 pm
Not sure. Should we start a petition on change.org?
January 7, 2013 at 3:46 pm
Sounds good. You’ll probably have to lead the way since you’ve got a healthy concept of regret.
January 7, 2013 at 3:49 pm
What if I relapse?
January 7, 2013 at 3:51 pm
I’m stuck as a stick figure. Ask the Bryronic Man. Maybe he can draw the solution?
January 7, 2013 at 3:52 pm
We’ll have to ask his left brain. His right brain seems to have issues.
January 7, 2013 at 3:55 pm
My left brain would have the more sequential, rational plan; but my right brain’s plan would be WAY more fun.
January 7, 2013 at 3:56 pm
That’s a tough choice.
January 7, 2013 at 10:23 am
Spot on. Excellent post. I have nothing witty to add. You said it all.
January 7, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Thanks. I was a little worried there wasn’t enough “story” to it, but I also didn’t want to ramble.
January 7, 2013 at 10:36 am
It’s as if you somehow got into my brain (and saw all the hilarious stick-figure antics going on in there). I am always that half-empty person.
In fact, I was going to email that to you a couple of days ago – noticing that we both do that underneath the funny. Obviously the telepathy was sufficient to convey the idea to you withOUT even typing. Cool.
January 7, 2013 at 3:24 pm
Thanks – I went with it assuming there’d be people who’d relate. I shy away from the personal because I’m always overly-cautious about that. The stick-figures, I think, are my “in.” A way to get personal and then “ha ha! Funny stick figure! Look over there! Look over there!”
January 7, 2013 at 11:56 am
So true, I wish I could retrain my brain to not linger on regrets or thoughts of what I should be doing. If I could put all that energy into actually doing stuff, I can only imagine what I’d accomplish! Wait, now I’m regretting regretting, no!
January 7, 2013 at 3:25 pm
A big aha moment for me was playing that game The Sims. Awful game. And as my little guy was trying to learn to cook I thought, “This is exactly like daydreaming about learning to cook instead of learning to cook.”
January 7, 2013 at 1:30 pm
I love the three legged dog.
I want to be the three legged dog.
If only I had turned out to be a three legged dog, I would never regret anything!
(The mental lists of things one should have done differently? I do them too)
January 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm
The hard part is the lists that contradict other lists. Suggesting that even if you could act out one of them, you’d still regret not doing the other list.
January 9, 2013 at 7:05 am
Yeah, that’s rough…
It could perhaps be avoided if one was able to go back in time with all the knowledge one has in the present. Then one could change loads of things, but still be able to meet certain people because one would remember their names.
Then perhaps they would find out and think one was a stalker, but it should be able to avoid that.
Also, thinking about all this is probably just as pointless as regretting certain episodes of one’s life… Maybe even more pointless…
January 9, 2013 at 7:38 am
Oh, yeah, the knowledge one has now would be a must.
Okay, this is going to get a little out there: you know quantum theory? And the idea that a universe exists for every possible version of events? Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to meet all these versions of myself and talk about our lives. See where all the different roads could lead.
I have been accused, once or twice, of thinking about things too much.
January 9, 2013 at 7:48 am
Yeah, I know it: In some versions the cat is dead, in others it’s alive.
Maybe one could talk with all these alternate selves and actually use it in the present.
One could find out all the good things about the different versions and try to implement all the good things they had in ones own life.
I need a dimension portal. Do you know where to get one?
And if not a dimension portal, then at least a portal gun, I could have so much fun with one of those 🙂
January 7, 2013 at 1:42 pm
Very poignant. I actually wrote a post to my twenty-five year old self and it was quite cathartic. I may regret a few decisions, but at least I’m not her anymore.
January 7, 2013 at 3:27 pm
That’s a good idea – I may have to do that. Hm.
I remember when I was about 23 and at a family get-together. My aunts were talking about how, Ugh, they would NOT want to be 23 again. At the time I thought that was crazy – Everyone wants to be 23! – but slowly I got it.
January 7, 2013 at 1:44 pm
Ah regret. . . that is a place I visit often. If only I had…If only I did…it is awesome times.
January 7, 2013 at 3:28 pm
It’s a vast kingdom, isn’t it?
January 7, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Sometimes what is worse than having regrets is never having tried something new that you might regret later.
January 7, 2013 at 3:28 pm
You know, that’s a good point – I should have gotten in to that more. Hands down, no contest my biggest regrets have to do with cowardice or inertia – the things I didn’t do at all.
Hm, maybe I’ll add that.
January 7, 2013 at 3:38 pm
I regret that the picture with the exploding head made me giggle. Twice. Like a little girl.
January 8, 2013 at 8:57 am
Nothing to regret. For, you know, as The Buddha once said, “Exploding heads = funny.”
January 7, 2013 at 4:46 pm
I suck, huh? Ah, man!! Sorry to make you regret anything. Regret about regretting. That’s a lot of work, but I completely understand. I did that for a time…not anymore. Love the drawings. It totally enhances the reading experience. – Amy
January 8, 2013 at 8:59 am
*Any relation to Amy’s who are readers of this blog is completely accidental and coincidental.
Thanks. The only thing that’s tough is that once they’re drawn and scanned, that’s that. No endless tinkering (simultaneously a good and bad thing)
January 8, 2013 at 10:29 am
Okay…whew I was worried there!
I wouldn’t change a thing about your drawings! No regrets now.
January 7, 2013 at 4:55 pm
I have no regrets, and that’s a combination of lying to myself because I know how debilitating regrets can be and not being able to remember many of the stupid things I’ve done since 1992 because my years of depression caused by regrets pre-1992 left me with a crappy memory. (I’m only kinda kidding, but I’m not sure about which part.)
My boss was just telling us today about how her four-legged dog can’t swim, but her three-legged dog can swim very well. “Too much leg,” she said. I thought it was funny at the time, but now I think it’s a perfect metaphor for life, running, supermodels, etc.
And Amy…*shakes fist*…
January 9, 2013 at 7:42 am
I’d be okay with lying to myself. I’m consistently amazed, considering the lifestyle and friends I had at various stages of my youth, that I escaped with so few mistakes that lead to long-term memory loss. I guess that’s one thing to be thankful for. Of course, I can then regret being such a dreadful bore…
January 7, 2013 at 5:59 pm
I regret that I’m sitting here and typing this instead of enjoying Scooby Doo with my son, but only a little, because somehow I’m smiling and giggling having read this. I’m heartened to imagine how the couple of friends I’m soon going to send this to will respond. But mostly just giggly. Thank you.
January 9, 2013 at 7:43 am
Kids still watch Scooby-Doo? That makes me happy. Not because it’s such high-quality kids’ programming, but because, I don’t know… it’s a classic.
January 8, 2013 at 3:19 am
Oh, welcome to my world, B-man.
It is a loop, and it is vital to find a way to break it. If “three legged-dog” works, then work it.
What works for me is a line from “The Natural.” Robert Redford is laying in the hospital and Glenn Close says to him, “I think we have two lives—the life we learn with, and the life we live after that.”
And FYI, they make zip-lock bags big enough now to fit around your head—whenever you feel that explosion thing about to happen.
January 9, 2013 at 7:45 am
I think that “two lives” thing is a good approach. I keep waiting to stabilize enough that I don’t perpetually think I was an idiot 3 years previously, though. Hopefully “the life I live after that” won’t mean I’m unable to do much living.
January 8, 2013 at 6:20 am
They say when you’re psychotic, that you never walk alone…
I’m just a three legged dog on the roam…
One of my FAVORITE songs… well, all songs I love are my favorite… but well, just listen…
January 9, 2013 at 7:47 am
Your comment reminds me of a friend who always described women as “the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” Finally I asked if he just continually sees more attractive women and he said, “It’s a big tie for first place.”
Anyway, I know what you mean about music – it’s like a crush: in that moment it really is the favorite of all time.
January 9, 2013 at 8:10 am
Exactly
January 8, 2013 at 7:32 am
I’m totally with you on this one. I too easily find myself wallowing in regret, especially where my youth is concerned. And yeah, everyone has regrets, those guys are lying bastards! Love the drawings too!
January 9, 2013 at 7:48 am
I hope they’re lying. I know some people have this enlightened “everything is part of the path to wisdom” sense, but those FBLA types don’t seem like the introspective sort. The alternative to lying is just such simple-minded bulldozing.
January 8, 2013 at 11:41 am
I’d say that I’m glad I’m not the only one but that would seem kind of awful and later I would totally regret how awful I’d been to you in your own blog comments. I have an uncanny ability to remember in vivid detail every time I’ve even slightly made an ass of myself, and to obsess about what I could/should have done differently (I just came from a job interview so I’m already in a “nooooo, why didn’t I have a better answer for that question?! My whole life is ooooooooover everything is ruuuuuuuuined!” spiral). Coupled with my general forgetfulness, wherein I sincerely have an awful time remembering everyday things and also everything I’ve ever done right in my life, this is kind of a serious problem. I’m hoping I’ll get the job so I can afford therapy. 😀
January 9, 2013 at 7:50 am
Isn’t that the worst? When your brain decides to flip through the old mental photo album of stupid mistakes? “Hey! Remember this one?! Wow, that was humiliating, wasn’t it? What dumb ass. Ooh, ooh, and this one…?!”
Also, thanks for subscribing! I hope you enjoy.
January 8, 2013 at 3:14 pm
Dude you need to hang out with more hippies….you definitely think too much for your own good. Be like them, just dance in some fields wearing strange clothing and be like ‘sunshine! Yaaaayyy!!!! This is the greatest day in the whole history of the world!!!!…..weeeeeeeeee!!!’…or whatever hippies do/say.
January 9, 2013 at 7:51 am
I really do need to hang out with more hippies. Fortunately, I live in Oregon, so that’s not difficult. I just have to wait. But if they don’t act exactly like you describe I’m going to be hugely disappointed.
January 9, 2013 at 8:21 am
And regretful…don’t forget that part
January 9, 2013 at 6:24 pm
There is a good use for regret — blog fodder. It is the best!
January 9, 2013 at 7:08 pm
I did a Query last year on regret and I went into it thinking that I didn’t “believe in” regret – meaning I don’t regret anything because that’s how I got here. Would I be the same person if I had taken other paths? Of course, while talking to others about it, it didn’t take me long to realize it’s kind of impossible to have no regrets. There are absolutely things I wish I had or hadn’t done. And even though I can’t imagine being a different me, I often wish I had made different career choices. And at least one relationship choice. The thing about that is, if I went back and changed either of those choices, my friend’s son wouldn’t exist.
January 10, 2013 at 9:23 am
HAHAHAHAHA!!! My first name is Amy! Regret: isn’t that why I have a blog? 0.0
January 13, 2013 at 8:37 am
There were seven deadly sins during the middle ages, you adding regret, which is a 20th century addition makes eight and now in the 21st Century we have ‘having your face stuck in a phone all the time’ which is ‘obsession’ & ‘living as an avatar in a virtual reality’ which is time wasting, which makes ten; Great decimal sins; French will love that. The latter 21st century sins are deadly sins as ‘obsession’ and ‘time wasting’ are inhumane and that which is inhumane is evil. You’re right about regret being a sin, though, totally right. You have too humanity to be even remotely sinful in any way, anyway.
January 23, 2013 at 4:54 am
First, captains of industry probably do have some sociopathic tendencies. As you observed, it’s hard to achieve that kind of success without skirting your own ethics now and then.
I too waste time regretting and enter a spiral of meta-regret where I waste time regretting my regrets until the original topic dissolves and I go to bed calling myself a talentless hack who never did a day’s hard work.
Another aspect of regret that bothers me is the fear of it. We refrain from doing things we like because we anticipate regretting them. So, regret claims more casualties than it appears to.
Loved the post. Awesome stick figures.
January 23, 2013 at 7:34 am
I know exactly what you mean about “anticipating regret.” And of course the great irony is that my biggest regrets all center around failure to act, as opposed to acting and then wishing I hadn’t.
January 23, 2013 at 8:58 am
Yeah. Even my biggest screw-ups and embarrassments eventually disappear, but the regrets for not trying don’t go away.
February 6, 2013 at 9:13 am
This is possibly the most perfect post ever written/drawn. Hopefully you don’t regret writing it. The three-legged dog concept is full-on brilliant! My sister always wanted to get a three-legged cat and name it Tripod. (I like dogs better myself, but, you know– whatever works.)
(Regretting that I have nothing witty, insightful, or profound to add to this post via commenting. You summed it all up.)
January 10, 2014 at 6:05 pm
I’m not sure if this was meant to be funny or serious. I did get the giggles at certain points. I got the “OMG that’s me!” for the majority of it. I want to slap upside the head those who says “I have no regrets”. You either have not lived or you are stupid. Probably stupid. Most definitely stupid. I have many regrets and I spend a great deal of time mulling them and feeling worse. Thank you for the giggle and contemplation.
January 17, 2014 at 2:45 pm
Funny and serious was the goal, so hopefully that worked out…