You never stop being a teen-ager, do you. Not really.
I started rehearsals last night for a show coming up that’s a series of story-telling/monologues. Basically a StorySlam, or like The Moth. There’s several theater people, a couple people who’ve just had interesting lives, and a really good area hip-hop artist.
The hip-hop artist is one of those people with intense magnetism – he has a big laugh, he speaks with big gestures, and in a melodic flow of words that are imagistic as much as literal. In other words, he’s very cool. Now, I like to think I am not a total stranger to coolness. I’m no Arthur Fonzarelli (Exhibit A: I use Fonzie as a benchmark of cool), but I’d like to think I wouldn’t be the first person cut on Survivor: Cool Edition.
We were throwing around our plans and one woman said she was throwing around 3 ideas: two light-hearted ones and a more serious one. When she finished, everyone (rightly) said “The serious one!” It had weight, substance, character growth. Then I piped up with an idea to combine two of the stories. Everyone looked at me like I had said, “You should add a talking camel to your story!”
I persevered. I explained how the serious story leads to the light-hearted one, dramatically speaking. My energy built as I said I wasn’t trying to Frankenstein her biography together, but it made for a nice transition from forced order as an MD, to organic chaos, trying to run the light board at a big country music concert (and it all going wrong – including the singer being in darkness, but floodlights blasting the people in the front rows).
I concluded with “it becomes a story of being happier now – with everything going wrong – than you were before with everything going right.” This crescendo was punctuated with the hip-hop artist throwing a fist in the air and yelling, “Yeah!”
So that was nice. But the embarrassing part is that the reaction in my brain was basically a non-verbal version of, ‘*gasp* Oh boy! The cool kid likes me!’
Why?
Why?
You know who never thinks “Oh boy, the cool kid likes me?”
That’s right.
The Byronic Man 
March 8, 2013 at 7:06 am
I hate to admit it, but that’s pretty much the same feeling i get whenever you like one of my posts. On the other hand, Fonzie isn’t cool enough to make me watch Happy Days.
March 8, 2013 at 7:46 am
Me, too.
March 8, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Ha! Me too!
March 8, 2013 at 1:31 pm
That’s nice of you to say. Although, now I feel even worse that I’m so far behind on blog-reading…
March 10, 2013 at 8:03 am
Me Too! You must be the coolest of cools to have us all groveling at your keyboard.
March 8, 2013 at 7:08 am
It’s good to have a role model, but aiming so high as The Fonz? You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. I mean, you’re great and all, but no one (and I mean no one) has the trifecta of hair, leather jacket cool factor and thumbs-up nuance that he’s got.
March 8, 2013 at 1:32 pm
I bought an old juke box to practice making start by hitting it with my elbow.
March 8, 2013 at 7:11 am
I do that, too. I think I am even worse with social media.
“OMG, Cool person FAVORITED/RTd/liked my tweet/FB status!”
It’s a sickness. 🙂
March 8, 2013 at 1:33 pm
I have a bad habit of replying to someone like Steve Martin, or Chuck Palahniuk, or Patton Oswalt and running through the whole series of events where the see my response, respond, we become friends, we hang out, summer together…
March 12, 2013 at 9:02 am
I don’t know what you are talking about.
(ahem. yes, yes I totally do.)
I have to admit, that is the kinda awesome thing about social media. I’ve had interactions with awesome people that I otherwise never would. I mean, Wil Wheaton downloaded my book. (In my head, he loves it and tells his friends. In reality, it will probably sit on a Kindle for the next couple of years unread, but hey, I’ll never know, may as well imagine better than that. 🙂 )
March 8, 2013 at 7:19 am
Umm, I seem to recall tales of bras flying off as the result of mere side hugs from The Byronic Man.
This sounds very cool (as does your suggestion to the one woman) – emphasis on cool – does it mean you’re doing an autobiographical performance? How blog-worthy! *cough*
P.S. – I found this post very hard to relate to.
P.P.S. – Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sigh.
March 8, 2013 at 1:33 pm
Okay, my side hugs do have a certain degree of “Aaayyyy!” to them, I’ll admit.
March 8, 2013 at 7:21 am
The Fonz is a lofty goal to aspire to. These youngsters today need to watch them some Happy Days
March 8, 2013 at 1:35 pm
I just read an interesting article about Happy Days, and Gary Marshall – the creator – in particular. His goal was to make an honest, kind of dark show about growing up in the 50’s… and no one watched. So he made the conscious decision to give up all of that and just make what he thought would be popular. Still turned out pretty great.
March 8, 2013 at 7:27 am
Heeeee-eyyyyy!!
March 8, 2013 at 1:35 pm
Exactly.
March 8, 2013 at 7:44 am
I always thought grown up Opie was the cool one (that’s how cool *I* am).
March 8, 2013 at 1:36 pm
At least you didn’t go with Potsie.
March 8, 2013 at 7:51 am
All the cool kids think YOU’RE the cool one, B-Man.
March 8, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Also? My mom thinks so.
March 8, 2013 at 7:52 am
You seriously should have gone with the camel.
March 8, 2013 at 1:36 pm
I would have, but decided I wanted to keep the idea for myself.
March 8, 2013 at 8:09 am
Go easy. Don’t jump the shark.
March 8, 2013 at 1:36 pm
But I just put a down-payment on a giant tank!
March 8, 2013 at 8:14 am
I wonder what it feels like to be “cool”.
March 8, 2013 at 1:38 pm
I thought I knew; turned out I was just thirsty.
March 8, 2013 at 8:33 am
I think any story could be improved by the addition of a talking camel.
March 8, 2013 at 1:37 pm
It’s the obvious thing missing from Citizen Kane.
March 8, 2013 at 8:42 am
Nah, I bet even the cool kids have their moments of curling up in a self-doubting ball. Aaaayyy
March 8, 2013 at 1:39 pm
You’d hope so, wouldn’t you?
March 8, 2013 at 9:47 am
I haven’t a clue what you are talking about. Really. There are cool kids?
March 8, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Of course! With their Izods and Camaros and pooka-shell necklaces… doesn’t matter if they’re CPA’s, that’s how they dress.
March 8, 2013 at 10:57 am
Do really cool people ever know they’re cool? It seems to me that people who do think they’re cool are usually just overly loud narcissistic douche bags. You probably don’t realise how cool you are BM, ergo you are already cooler than the Fonz…
March 8, 2013 at 1:41 pm
It’s that fine line between “cool” and “hipster” I think. I bet Bruce Springsteen knows he’s cool… and he just is.
March 8, 2013 at 11:31 am
It would have been even cooler if the talking camel was blue or some other outrageous colour. Gotta build up the levels of coolness, B-Man. Take it from a pro.
March 8, 2013 at 1:41 pm
Camel = blue. Got it. It’s the only way I’ll learn!
March 8, 2013 at 12:55 pm
Looking at the Fonz…lives above someone’s garage, is revered by local high school geeks who are considerably younger than him, has nearly no prospects for doing much of anything with his life, can take a bra off a radiator with little if any effort. Was he really that cool?
March 8, 2013 at 1:42 pm
You know who actually is supposed to be ridiculously cool? Henry Winkler. By all accounts he’s just the best person you’d ever meet.
March 8, 2013 at 1:56 pm
THAT I believe!
March 12, 2013 at 7:27 am
Is he back on Arrested Development? I hope so.
March 8, 2013 at 1:49 pm
Though quite likely the “Cool” hip hop dude was thinking afterwards, “Damn! Did I really fist pump at the end of that. Talk about looking desperate. Must always remember to say to myself What Would Tupac Shakur Do. I hope that cool Talking Camel guy didn’t notice.”
March 15, 2013 at 10:25 am
Definitely. That definitely happened. I hope.
March 8, 2013 at 2:01 pm
So you’re “not the dreamer…you’re the dreamee.” Whoa. That’s cool.
March 15, 2013 at 10:29 am
And of a cyclical nature – so, something of a “dreamsicle.”
March 17, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Stop. You’ll make me “melt.”
March 8, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Aren’t you too tall to impersonate Mr. F?
March 15, 2013 at 10:28 am
It’s funny, it made me think immediately, of the “Mr. F” gag from Arrested Development, and I wasn’t sure how to take that…
But you may be right.
March 9, 2013 at 3:45 am
Henry Winkler is still the coolest
March 15, 2013 at 10:27 am
He really is.
March 10, 2013 at 8:07 am
I hate to ask, but, was the fist pump enough to bring the others around to your point of view?
March 15, 2013 at 10:26 am
I think they were there already, but it definitely put an exclamation mark on it.
March 10, 2013 at 11:53 pm
Survivor: Cool edition would be amazing!
March 15, 2013 at 10:27 am
Tonight’s immunity challenge: Eat a plate of linguine without looking ridiculous AND recite the lyrics to the theme from “Good Times.”
March 11, 2013 at 10:14 am
That’s how I feel when you comment on my blog.
*grin
March 12, 2013 at 7:29 am
So you’re doing a show?! What in the hell? You really should get out more, your life is so boring. Admit it. You are really the super cool hip hop dude.
March 13, 2013 at 6:30 am
agree with Maineiac – you are one of the cool kids!
March 17, 2013 at 11:33 am
When I was secondary teacher some times students would say ‘You’re a cool teacher.’ and I’d reply ‘There’s no such thing as a cool teacher, being a teacher isn’t cool.’ If it helps I reckon I’m Ralph to your Fonzie. You’re doing a show man! That’s bloody cool! You write a funny, witty and intelligent blog! That’s cool! You’re cool in a way that ‘Hip-Hop Guy’ can never be. Trust me he’s looking at you and thinking ‘The cool guy likes me.’