Putting YOU In The Byronic Man!

August 19, 2012

Humor

Yesterday I told you things were going to get mixed up around here – well I hope you spent yesterday taking deep breaths, finding your chi and taking a lot of vitamin C, because this whole week here at The Byronic Man is going to be Choose Your Own Adventure Week!  Yes!

Remember how you’d “turn to page 43” and it’d only be a paragraph, which almost always means you die, so you’d flip back real quick because “I didn’t start reading, so it doesn’t count!”?  Good times.

Remember Choose Your Own Adventure books?  Weren’t they great?? Well, this is not in any way affiliated with those, but it will hopefully be the same kind of fun.  Each day this week I will be posting a section of a story.  At the end, YOU get to vote what happens next (Do you go through the door?  Get back in the jeep?  Jump out the window?  Pretend to fall asleep? etc.) AND vote on various items you’d like to see show up in the next installment (A bouncing ball, a dragon, a cloud shaped like a dolphin, etc.).

In addition to the story, it should also be exciting to find out if this is a terrible idea!  Will it be more work than it’s worth?  Will the story suck?  Will no one read or vote?  Who knows??!!  Ha ha!  It could be a disaster!  Ha!  Ha ha!  Ha ha ha ha ha!

Please read my story.

Anyway, for today, let me hear ideas: in the comments section, give me settings, characters, lines of dialogue you’d like to see, objects, pretty much anything you’d like to see in a story. I won’t work it all in, of course, but I’ll reach from the comments as much as possible.  I’m very excited to see what you’ve got – and where this story goes.  I hope you’ll join me this week!

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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47 Comments on “Putting YOU In The Byronic Man!”

  1. Elyse Says:

    A standup comic finds his way onto the alter during a funeral.

    Reply

  2. Don't Quote Lily Says:

    I loved those books! I would always cheat and flip back if the ending didn’t look good. 😉 This should be fun. It’s too early for me to think of any ideas but I’m sure you’ll get plenty. Good luck. 😉

    Reply

  3. Michael Says:

    An intelligent penguin acquires a laser rifle and becomes a diabolical supervillain; only the dolphins can stop him.

    Reply

  4. 1pointperspective Says:

    “Put down the curling iron and nobody gets hurt”
    “You call that a dumpling?”
    “Manatees aren’t native to these parts”
    “I think I just threw up in my mouth – a little”

    Reply

  5. Life With The Top Down Says:

    Unicorn signs into drug rehab tired of being everyones’ delusion. “I’m real dam it”

    Reply

  6. susielindau Says:

    I missed out on the “make your adventure” craze! Sheesh!
    Character list
    The bully – Big Ben Bullwhacker
    The crush – Tiffany van Keepyureysupheer
    The nerd – Dickie Zittlecoffer

    Add to the list Byronic readers!

    Reply

  7. Go Jules Go Says:

    *happy dance* Okay I am having a blast already. These comments are aMAzing. I don’t really care if you use any of my ideas as long as there’s an epic ‘stache in there somewhere.

    Kidding. Kind of. I am SO tempted to pull from my search engine terms. But I won’t.

    “Wow. I’ve never seen someone ACTUALLY tip a cow.”

    “Yeah. Especially when they don’t even tip the waitress.”

    (Note: This conversation does not have to occur between two people. I am picturing a bear and a bee…)

    Reply

  8. madtante Says:

    When I was 10, those were amazing.

    Reply

  9. clemarchives Says:

    Jay Edgar Hoover
    The interior of a volcano
    A very large linen closet
    “We shall end this forthwith!”
    Wine that looks like beer that tastes like vodka

    Reply

  10. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    Can there be stuff about BDSM? Because I don’t think enough attention has been given to that topic lately.

    Reply

  11. Jackie Cangro Says:

    This is going to be a blast! I think you should work in a bit of pop culture into the story.

    “Here’s my number, so call me maybe.”

    Reply

  12. mistyslaws Says:

    Excuse me sir, do you happen to have the thyme?
    One part sassy, one part assy.
    Is that a torpedo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
    Hand over the cinnamon and nobody gets hurt.

    Reply

  13. skippingstones Says:

    Fun! I’m so excited to see what you come up with – and vote! Here is my contribution:

    Bethany reached up toward the manhole cover, praying that this one would give. She was done. Her mascara was running, her prom dress was ruined, and she’d never wear a pair of strappy heals again in her life.

    Reply

  14. Edward Hotspur Says:

    Hey, this reminds me of the Choose Your Own Adventure I did on my blog. I let people vote by clicking on the direction they wanted. Shazam.

    Reply

  15. 15 Minutes With Alexandra Says:

    “HOLLY SWEET WHALE CARCASS!!”
    That’s all.

    Reply

  16. She's a Maineiac Says:

    A convent.

    The mosh pit at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert.

    A haunted house.

    Lunch ladies working at a junior high cafeteria.

    “Maybe you should check again to see if it’s really dead.”

    “Let’s see if this turkey can fly!”

    “Oh, one more thing–if you drop it, it explodes.”

    “Don’t eat the guacamole.”

    Reply

  17. Adam Tucker Says:

    A sentient bottle of Jack Daniels sobers up and attempts to attend a local A.A. meeting.

    Reply

  18. Carol O. Says:

    “Shazam”??? lol O, definitely work that in!

    Reply

  19. speaker7 Says:

    Can one of the characters be that woman who tans so much her face looks like a tootsie roll?

    Reply

  20. Wilma Says:

    Man walks into a bar…

    It was deja vu. He’d been here before, but he thought it was in a dream. Then the angel in his dream asked, “would you like a lap dance?”

    “I don’t think it’s supposed to smell like that.”
    “He wasn’t hugged enough as a child.”

    Apparently this shit was just floating around aimlessly in my head.

    Reply

  21. on thehomefrontandbeyond Says:

    It was deja vu all over again.
    a penguin
    a pink wand
    magic
    a girl who does not know her powers
    a boy who knows the girl’s powers
    a psychadelic pizza (only spelled correctly)
    Mario and Luigi
    He walked into the door.

    Reply

  22. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    please let atleast one of the characters burst up in flames or burn down a huge something or weird rabbits…oh so excited

    Reply

  23. theperpetualtraveller Says:

    You just made me think of R.L. Stine’s Give Yourself Goosebumps series, and I just regained a piece of my childhood. And yes, I totally cheated by turning back if it looked like it was gonna be a bad choice, because if you didn’t read it, it doesn’t count!

    So in the spirit of that, you should include slime, goosebumps, and zombies in there somewhere…

    Reply

  24. Shelby D. Says:

    It sounds like you need sleep.
    But I’ll throw in an idea: The serial killer was the cat, Mr. Buttons, all along.

    Reply

  25. Richard Wiseman Says:

    Seriously mate, I love your blog, you’re the dog’s bollocks funny, you really are and I will read the up coming entries and vote, but I’ve got my own crappy stories to write, let alone doing ‘jigsaw’ narratives for you. I’ll sit this one out coach, if that’s alright?

    Reply

  26. Michelle Gillies Says:

    I’m looking forward to this. It will be my first “pick your own adventure”.
    Let’s get started!

    Reply

  27. spilledinkguy Says:

    Pie? Can there be… pie?

    Reply

  28. anecdotaltales Says:

    There should be a large pit. You can fall into it, you can look into it, but pits are hours of fun for the whole family. Also, just because I can; The Macarena. Yeah, you heard me.

    Reply

  29. pegoleg Says:

    “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.”

    Elmer Fudd

    Dawn on the Serengeti Plain and the wildebeests were beginning to stir.

    Reply

  30. auntyamo Says:

    As it was our wedding anniversary yesterday and we are wedding musos, I’d like to see a wedding music mishap worked in somewhere…. 🙂

    Reply

  31. ghfool Says:

    A man with two glass eyes

    Reply

  32. Rinth Says:

    Dragons!

    Reply

  33. Blogdramedy Says:

    Well obviously one of your main characters has to be a shark…or with shark-like characteristics. Or the story involves a death-by-shark.

    And there must be a kitten. What kind of kitten? A LIVE kitten. 😉

    Reply

  34. Anastasia Says:

    I know who did it! Kublai Khan, in the drawwwering room, with a can of mace.

    Reply

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