“We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.” – page 20, Republican Party of Texas, 2012, official platform on education.
Grade SchoolSarah: Mrs. Williver, is Santa Claus real? Mrs. Williver: What did your parents tell you? Sarah: That he’s real. Mrs. Williver: Then he’s real. Sarah: But it doesn’t really make sense. The time; the getting in to homes. It doesn’t seem logical. Mrs. Williver: He’s real. Thomas: Mrs. Williver? My parents told me there is no Santa. Mrs. Williver: Right. There isn’t. Sarah: Wait, you just told me– Mrs. Williver: He’s real. Thomas: Which is it? You’re telling us two contradictory things, Mrs. Williver. He can’t be real and not – Mrs. Williver: DETENTION. ***********
…and so tomorrow we’ll start our unit over the causes of The American Civil War. Have you all brought in your homework, so we can add what your parents think to the textbook’s blanks? Let’s see, we have: “Slavery,” “Slavery,” “Slavery,” okay, fine, “The North wanted cotton,” um, sure, okay. I can work with that. “Silver”… Silver? Uh, Randall, do your parents think it’s called The Silver War? I see. I’ll just add that as another name for it here… okay, we’ve also got, “Slavery,” “Northern Aggression,” “Robert Stanson.” Huh? Tammy, isn’t that your dad’s name? Did he just sign this without reading it? Um, I’m not sure how to handle this. I’ll figure it out. Moving on: “Freedom isn’t free,” “Northern aggression,” “The”… *sigh*… “The Gays.” Really. Um, I, um… okay, we can work that in somehow. “Taxes,” “Communism,” and “Fart.”***********
High SchoolTeacher: “And so when Huck reaches this moment, as he tears up the letter, deciding that he will go to hell rather than betray Jim, what’s happened here? What’s led to this moment? How has Huck changed from what he was taught, to what he’s discovered to be true?” Dan: “Well, I’d just like to point out that none of this trouble would have happened if Huck hadn’t run away from his father.” Teacher: “Uh, his violent, alcoholic, ignorant father? The one who abused him and tried to exploit him?” Dan: “The one who tried to teach him.” Teacher: “But what is Twain showing us about the power of thinking for ourselves? About rejecting what we’ve been told, in order–“ Shira: “Huck gave all his money away. He’s a socialist.” Teacher: “Actually, that’s not what socialism—“ Shira: “Also? It’s a crime to not turn Jim in.” Jacqueline: “And, he says the N word.” Teacher: “Right. Twain uses that term deliberately to force us to confront—“ Jacqueline: “My mom says I couldn’t read it, and that I should read The Pelican Brief instead, because it’s a book too, and it’s better.” ***********
AdulthoodVoters Ballot – Presidential Election, 2032 Instructions: You are about to vote for president. You must only vote for one candidate. If you are not sure if you are allowed to vote, check your iVote app. Once you have voted you can’t vote again. Your vote is not the only one. Please remember that voting for a candidate does not guarantee that he will win. When voting, remember the slogans they said, and vote for the best slogans. Warning: It may not be physically possible to do the things the candidate promises to do. The candidate may know this. Please consider what’s possible to do before believing the candidate. Reminder, you must actually push the button to vote for the candidate. Simply thinking about who you want to vote for is not a legal vote. If you can’t remember the candidate’s name, simply push the picture of the candidate you like best. Finally: commercials are available to tell you who to vote for.