This is Clancy.
Clancy is our beagle. He’s just about the sweetest, kindest-hearted animal you can imagine. He doesn’t even bay – the only time he howls is when he hears a fire engine or wild dogs. The things that matter to Clancy are chewies, chasing his Squeaky Monkey, making sure that no one is getting more attention than him, and lying on soft things. He can find the softest spot in any location. If a child is ever abducted and all the FBI know is that the kidnapper has taken the boy to the softest spot in the city, have I got the dog for them.
Now, he barks at the mailman, and he’d love to give the neighbor cat a piece of his mind, but generally he just loves everyone.
Except the garbage truck.
The garbage truck just pisses him off. He hates that truck so much. Around the time he goes for a walk in the morning is the time the garbage men are doing the route in our neighborhood and when he hears or sees that truck from a block and a half away it is on. You hear that engine and the hydraulic lift, and this little growl starts brewing from deep inside his core. You can practically see the thoughts forming in his little head, like a BB rolling around in a tuna-can, “It’s that giant garbage truck! Again! I told him to GET OUT OF HERE.” Then he gets angrier and angrier, growling barking, lunging, yelling at this 18-ton vehicle, “You better run, truck! You’re about to detonate 35 pounds of beagle fury, mother-f’er!” (I’m not being delicate. I just don’t think Clancy would swear, even when he’s this angry). And then he just tries to get free of that stupid dog-collar so he can unleash hell on them.
I don’t know if I hope the garbage guys can see him or not.
Bailey is 150 pounds. You can’t really tell from the picture, but we couldn’t find a dog-bed big enough for him, so instead we just got an old twin mattress. Clancy’s head fits in his mouth. He’s a whole other story. He’s giant, and he has a bark that is truly terrifying. And if his bark is the blast of an 18-wheeler, Clancy’s is a VW bus. When the two of them get going together about someone approaching the house it’s like Bailey’s yelling, “I will bite your arm completely off and not even slow down! I will kill you so hard your relatives will die!” and Clancy’s saying, “Yeah! Yeah! Me too! Ha ha! Bite bite bite!”
Bailey doesn’t really care about the garbage truck, but he’ll usually chime in, to support his buddy. So Clancy looks ridiculous, but it’s compounded by the fact that this giant is next to him. But I envy Clancy’s confidence. I love that about all dogs. It’s just a question of “Is this guy a problem? Fine. I’m on it.” Even if the guy is a gigantic truck. Just totally sure of himself and fearless.
Well, unless it’s a sprinkler. Those things are really scary.
So, garbage guys, I hope next week you aren’t to frightened to drive through our neighborhood. I appreciate your courage. Just know that Clancy’s leashed up and I’ve got him and his white-hot hate contained. Just barely. Just barely.