Author Archives | The Byronic Man

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Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

Interview With The Spammer

April 22, 2024

68 Comments

First off, I want you to know how much I appreciate you being a reader.  And how did you come across my site?
Hi there, just turned into aware of your blog through Google, and located that it is truly informative. I am going to watch out for Brussels. I will appreciate if you happen to continue this in future. Many folks might be benefited out of your writing.

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“I Caught A Fly Today, in Mid-Air”

April 10, 2024

4 Comments

Now,
It goes without saying
that this means I am a deadly super-spy,
put into sleeper mode, hidden amidst the sublimely mundane
Only faintly conscious of my true importance

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Artificial Intelligence, Real Grieving

March 29, 2024

13 Comments

The impact of AI on writing, critical thinking, and the teaching of writing is too big and impossible to contemplate at first glance. This is not just because generative AI is still new enough to feel like magic (which, if someone said that was how it worked would make it make a lot more sense)

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Amaze Your Friends With These Little-Known Presidential Facts!

February 19, 2024

25 Comments

Three minutes in to the Gettysburg Address, growing increasingly irritated with murmuring in the crowd, Lincoln paused from his speech and said, “It means ’87 years ago,’ idiots.” There was no President Hayes.  As a cost-cutting measure, the president was replaced with a magic 8-ball.  Thus the phrase, “outlook is Hayes-y” was born. Nixon refused […]

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Journal Of Someone Who Didn’t Know It Was Superbowl Sunday

February 12, 2024

62 Comments

9:35am – Went to the grocery store.  People seemed frantic.  Grabbing anything they could find.  For some reason people were especially focused on cheese in jars.  Also beer.  Both non-perishable.  Has something terrible happened?  Bought some jar cheese, duct tape and battery-powered lanterns, just in case. 10:20am – Getting concerned. Overheard someone saying how much […]

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“I’m Sorry, Did I F***ing Stutter When I Said To Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding?”

December 20, 2023

4 Comments

Right now, we’re just a couple of guys, standing on the porch on a snowy night, talking about pudding. But make no mistake, fail to produce some figgy pudding and we will burn your god damn life to the ground.

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For This I Am Tha–EVERYONE SHUT UP, I’M TRYING TO GIVE THANKS!

November 14, 2023

37 Comments

I am thankful to have the whole family together this holiday evening, especially those who haven’t spoken to each other for so long, to share this special meal. I am thankful for this wonderful looking turkey, and the honor of carving it. I am thankful to hear the constant, joyful, piercing shriek of so many […]

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Introduction To The Introduction

August 3, 2023

0 Comments

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to write a terrible introduction with a sucky hook? Well, according to Brainyquote, someone named Jeffrey Dahmer once said, “A good introduction can make all the difference in succeeding in your plan.”​ Same with a bad introduction, only the opposite. In this blog post, I’m going […]

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