This Is Just To Say…

April 8, 2013

Humor

“This Is Just To Say”

By William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
 
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
 
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
 
This is Just To Say…

Nah, it’s cool. I’ll just take them home tonight. It’ll be fine. Who’s going to just eat someone else’s plums without asking, right?

Under no circumstances eat
The plums
That are in
The icebox
 
They are part of
An experiment on powerful
Pesticides
In fruit
 
Forgive me
The fridge at the lab is broken
And the pesticide is so toxic
And so virulent
 
This is Just To Say…

Did I say “very soon”? I meant “now.” Now would be better.

I have eaten
Everything
That was in
Your icebox
 
And also that box of expensive cookies
You were probably
Saving
For a special occasion
 
Sorry, but
I’m pregnant
So you should probably just roll with it
And go to the store again very soon.
 
 
This is Just To Say…
I have eaten
The hamburger
That fell on the floor
1.5 seconds ago
 

And I love you, too…   can I have another hamburger?

And which
You were possibly
Not intending
To give to me
 
I feel really bad
But I’m a dog
And hamburgers are really good
And I love them
 
This is just to say…
I have crashed
The car
That was
In your garage
 

Oh, hey, is this your house? Crazy.

And which
You probably
didn’t know that
I’d borrowed
 
Forgive me
My blood sugar
Was so low
Because someone ate
my God damn plums.
 
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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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38 Comments on “This Is Just To Say…”

  1. Michael Says:

    This is just to say,
    I like your variations
    On Williams’ poem
    Very much.

    I never quite understood
    Why anyone would eat
    Someone else’s plums
    Which they were saving
    For something.

    I mean, that’s just
    Rude.
    Even if one does apologize
    Afterwards,
    All you’ve got is an
    Apology
    And no plums.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Well, apparently the poem was an actual note Williams left for his wife, and he was a doctor, so I’m sure the God Complex factors in there somewhere. “All plums are my plums!”

      Reply

      • Michael Says:

        All Plums Are My Plums would be a really cool book title, I have to say. Or a band name. Or the motivation for a psychotic fruit-obsessed supervillain. The Lex Luthor of plums!

        Reply

  2. Cassy Says:

    This is just to say

    That this was one of
    my favorite poems,
    but your variations
    are better.

    I think you really
    captured the poet
    and made it all
    more interesting

    so thank you,
    for the Monday pick me up,
    so full of laughter
    and smiles.

    Reply

  3. Go Jules Go Says:

    This is just to say
    Someone
    Should post more
    Clancy pics.

    Forgive me;
    I swear that’s
    not the only reason
    I read your blog.

    Reply

  4. Snoring Dog Studio Says:

    You picked one of my favorite poems and then surpassed my expectations with your own. And you’ve reminded me why everything you want to eat ought to be labeled. Going now to label the leftover meatballs and spaghetti.

    Reply

  5. Don't Quote Lily Says:

    I like it! Nicely done. I wish I could respond with a poem, as many others did but alas…it is too early for that. 🙂

    Reply

  6. Lori Lipsky Says:

    Love your Wm Carlos WM theme and variations! Well done.

    Reply

  7. Jackie Cangro Says:

    A whole new spin on poetry month! I wonder if things would have turned out the same if there were peaches instead of plums.

    As for the hamburgers on the floor… Whenever I’m in the kitchen, Reggie just stares at the floor, waiting. I guess I’ve earned a reputation for clumsiness.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      The band Presidents of the United States covered peaches pretty well in their song. “Peaches come from a can! They were put there by a man! Nature’s candy in my hand, or can, or pie…”

      Reply

  8. pegoleg Says:

    This is just to say…why am I having deja vu all over again? I think I’ve stumbled into this spot on the space/time continuum before? Yes? No?

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Sometimes I just have to run an old post. At times it’s because I come across it and really like it but forgot about it, other times it’s because I don’t have time to eat, much less write. This is the latter.

      Reply

    • h82typ Says:

      This is just to say that there’s an Eddie in the space/time continuum
      who doesn’t have any plums either
      and doesn’t know where his towel is…

      Reply

  9. beckyfields Says:

    This is just to say:
    I have read your poem
    And its delightful parodic nature
    makes me want to say:
    thanks for being clever.
    and for not ruining a good poem.

    Reply

  10. She's a Maineiac Says:

    This is just to say
    I loved this poem
    the first time around

    And now
    I still giggle
    at the hamburger line

    Reply

  11. speaker7 Says:

    So much depends upon a comment box
    Glazed with brain water
    beside the red wordpress.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I worked with a guy who used “red wheelbarrow” as an example of how stupid and meaningless poetry is. I took the dignified route and said nothing, then judged him harshly in my mind forever in all capacities.

      Reply

      • Paul George Eberlein Says:

        In my time, I have written some truly awful poetry, especially when I try to write dirty Limericks to my girlfriend of the moment.
        Way to go, B-Man! When you can’t say anything good about someone, trash them in your thoughts forever after, especially if they are an “ignoranus” (someone who is both stupid AND and an asshole) who don’t appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that go into writing ANY poetry.

        Reply

  12. susielindau Says:

    This is just to say…
    I was happy
    When you said hello
    From behind the display of
    Pears in Whole Foods.

    Until I
    Found you staring
    From across the aisle
    In the meat department.

    And now
    I am dialing 9-1-1
    Since I see your reflection
    In my rear view mirror.

    Reply

  13. List of X Says:

    This is just to say
    That it’s exactly
    The type of poetry
    People keep leaving on the Post-it notes
    On the fridge in my office.

    Reply

  14. tomwisk Says:

    Loved it. The replies carried it on. Blogging in its true form.

    Reply

  15. Sandy Sue Says:

    This is just to say…

    The icebox
    is now chained
    and my rifle
    leans against it

    Touch my plums again
    and your
    thoughtlessness
    shall decorate the freezer

    Forgive me
    but you must chose:
    to be so sweet
    or so cold

    Reply

  16. pfstare Says:

    This is just to say

    I have taken
    Your wallet
    Which was
    On the sideboard

    And which
    You are hoping
    I did not use on the Internet

    Forgive me
    The dress was beautiful
    And will last longer
    Than plums.

    Reply

  17. sharonthemezzo Says:

    This is just to say
    that this blog may be
    my favorite
    new find

    And that
    I’m simultaneously
    Entertained by and jealous of
    Your creative humor

    Forgive me
    I will now tell all of my friends
    That I wrote this blog even though
    They’ll never believe it

    Reply

  18. anaffiliateblogger Says:

    Reblogged this on Affiliate Info and commented:
    Awesome post, love where the truck is parked, to bad about the plums.

    Reply

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