Everybody Stay Cool. Don’t Look. Just Act Like Nothing’s Happening And Vote.

July 14, 2012

Humor

Today’s post will be quite brief – I’m a little short on time, in terms of internet access, for reasons I will elaborate on tomorrow.  The short version is that I am in exile.  Driven from my home my powerful forces making demands I can not possibly hope to fulfill.

I’ve become a whisper. A ghost in the wind. A flicker of motion in the corner of your eye.

Intriguing, isn’t it?  Kind of dark and sexy?

But I have dared to get back “on the grid” for a few moments to give you your finalists for last week’s Weekly Question of the Week, and the winning photo caption. Sshhh.

First, the photo caption for the swimwear that, tragically, never caught on.  There were some high votes, and as much as people agreed with Freddy Flow that “Keeping your intestines on the inside is *so* 1920,” in the end the vote went to the lovely and talented, and possibly my lost twin, Jules, over at Go Jules Go.  Congratulations, Jules!  You’re my featured blogger of the week!  Many of you, I know, are already familiar with Jules, but if not be sure to take a moment to visit her site.  I especially recommend the posts where she mentions me.

Photographer: “Hang on a second. Those swim caps look ridiculous.”

Finally, before The Man discovers me, be sure to vote for the finalists.  It’s like an act of solidarity and rebellion.

See you tomorrow.  And remember: I was never here.

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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31 Comments on “Everybody Stay Cool. Don’t Look. Just Act Like Nothing’s Happening And Vote.”

  1. tomwisk Says:

    Didn’t see you, really.

    Reply

  2. k8edid Says:

    A very worthy Blogger of the Week, indeed.

    Reply

  3. She's a Maineiac Says:

    Jules has got it goin’ ON with that description. Yow! Congrats to the most chucklesome person I know…

    Reply

  4. speaker7 Says:

    I don’t know what’s happening. Did I just cast my vote for president? If so, I hope my candidate alphabet burping wins, and we can finally burp the national anthem like the founding fathers intended.

    Reply

  5. Kate Says:

    I reckon a Driving with the elderly race would be almost as great as racing tortoises. The tortoises would probably walk in a straight line though…
    Could we give the elderly people racing goggles? Or would it be more like a show jumping event where there are a series of obstacles they have to navigate and they accumulate faults for hitting them? That’s probably better… Then there could be an amateur league, state titles etc…

    Reply

    • Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

      Kate: I like you so much right now! 😉 I believe competitors should absolutely be given goggles during the driving part, and then there would, of course, be an obstacle course. “The Staircase” would be the main attraction because, you know at any moment someone might say, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

      Reply

      • Kate Says:

        It’s just too bad the IOC haven’t asked us to come up with more events Renee. Ps. Really enjoyed the rubber chicken bat mitzvah card and summer camp letter.

        Reply

  6. Life With The Top Down Says:

    I can’t stop laughing at the plant! It’s genius.

    Reply

  7. crying in the bathroom Says:

    Stay safe, friend. We’re all counting on you. Possibly.

    “The pot-plant man scares me,” said the little girl.
    “Oh please, there is no such thing as a ‘pot-plant man’,” said her Father as he took her hand and started down the street. The little girl looked back as they went – she knew what she saw.

    Reply

  8. Marie Says:

    I agree with you. Exile is terribly dark and sexy.

    Reply

  9. Rose's Thingamajig Says:

    Great suggestions this week- I was briefly torn between three of them!

    Reply

  10. susielindau Says:

    Stealth Byronic Man – like a whisper in the wind……

    Reply

  11. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    who wrote this post man who who who …Alphabet burping is too good, i hope it wins

    Reply

  12. 1pointperspective Says:

    Ramone wouldn’t be satisfied until he was more of a pot head than everyone else

    Reply

  13. 1pointperspective Says:

    Always eager to celebrate any and all holidays, Jorge showed up for Thanksgiving dinner dressed in his Halloween costume of a potted Christmas Cactus, with his pockets full of Easter Eggs.

    Reply

  14. Angie Z. Says:

    Congrats, Jules! Well deserved…you’re the best! And kudos to this round of entries!

    Reply

  15. Go Jules Go Says:

    B! Thanks! Sorry I’m late to the party, I have a good excuse, but not as good as being trapped in an orchard.

    Your side bar has never looked better. But I knew that’d be the case. ‘Cause I’m psychic.

    Reply

  16. pegoleg Says:

    Jules Rules…possibly while wearing tulle!

    Reply

  17. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Says:

    Julie! So proud of you! I voted for you, I did. I hope you’ll return the favor. Be sure to put this on your vitae for BlogHer’12.

    Reply

  18. mistyslaws Says:

    Oops, late again . . .

    Congrats Jules!! That was indeed a brilliant caption and a much deserved win. You will need to be my Obi Wan on all things captioning at BlogHer so that I can also become a Jedi master at this craft. Teach me well, oh wise one. I want to be a force to be reckoned with! (Geddit? Force . . . meh, nevermind!).

    Reply

  19. mj monaghan Says:

    Shoot, did I miss a contest? Darn it.

    Congrats on the win, Jules. Truly talented, my friend. Is captioning as a 2nd career in your future?

    Reply

  20. My Inner Chick Says:

    “Driving w/ the Elderly!” I voted.

    Renee, I have an even better one. “Driving w/ Teenagers!”

    Reply

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