Impractical Magic

August 13, 2011


I’ve never known how to do magic, but like everyone, wish I could.  I know one card trick. It’s pretty good the first time, but if you see it twice it’s obvious.  I suppose, like most people, I want to be able to do magic tricks, but not enough to, you know, learn.

But I have one.  It’s a doozy. It’s not even a trick, it seems to be actual magic! Yep. And I’m going to share it with you, my loyal readers.  You’re welcome.


This trick can be performed in front of friends, family, business colleagues and even, believe it or not, by yourself in front of a mirror.  It’s that amazing!

All you need is two pairs of socks, one pair white, one pair black.

Now, strip down completely naked.  Next, put on the pair of white socks.  You look like a naked person wearing socks, right?  Right.

But now you take them off and put on the black socks.  You look like a total pervert!

Ta-da! It’s magic!

How does it work?  No idea – the spirits aren’t saying, but rest assured, you do look like a pervert wearing nothing but black socks.

Be a hit at birthday parties!  Impress that new boss!  Perfect for wowing the in-laws, or that important first date!  I showed that trick to my prospective in-laws and there still talking about it!  (Or at least I think they are.  For some reason I’m never invited over)

My gift to you.  The gift of magic.


About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Site in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, but sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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6 Comments on “Impractical Magic”

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster Says:

    Bwahaha! I’ll be sure to put Ba.D. up to this trick at our next party! 0:)

    Just as I was going to click “Submit Comment” I saw your blogroll. In response to the combination of that header and my name on that list, I can only say, wow. Thank you.


  2. truthspew Says:

    Too funny! I know a little sleight of hand and how to palm things. I’ve taught myself over time.


  3. The Good Greatsby Says:

    I showed that trick to my in-laws and they weren’t impressed. They asked me what I was doing, but I told them a magician doesn’t reveal his tricks.


  4. gojulesgo Says:

    LOL! Suddenly the phrase “reaching into my bag of tricks” conjures up a new and [far more] interesting mental image…


  5. Margie Says:

    By the time I got to the part where I put on the white socks, the family had locked me in my bedroom. They say they won’t let me out until I put some clothes on. Clearly my family doesn’t know a magic trick when they see one…


  6. Zahra Mayeesha Says:

    I fear for anyone who sees you in your wondrous birthday-suit glory. I’m sure the white socks won’t help.


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