https://thebyronicman.com/2024/04/22/interview-with-the-spammer/2024-04-22T22:23:31+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2024/04/10/today-i-caught-a-fly-in-mid-air/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/20200304-bond-cuffs.jpg.webp20200304-Bond-CUFFS.jpghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/cr16navy-main1.jpgcr16navy-main12024-04-16T21:46:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2024/03/29/artificial-intelligence-real-grieving/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/90.jpeg902024-04-16T06:02:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2024/02/19/amaze-your-friends-with-these-little-known-presidential-facts/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/bartdb.jpgbartdbOne of these men is, in fact presidential bear Teddy Roosevelt. Which one? The answer might just surprise you!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/magic-8-ball.jpgmagic-8-ball"Will this piece have groan-inducing puns?" 'All signs point to yes.'https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/georgex_statue.jpggeorgex_statueOh, hey, my mistake - there's a statue of you! No, wait, that's me. Ha ha ha. Loser.2024-02-19T23:25:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2024/02/12/journal-of-someone-who-didnt-know-it-was-superbowl-sunday/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/url12.jpgurl12People keep saying "Be On Say." What does it mean? What does it mean?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/bathtubafter.jpgbathtubafterWill drink all the water in the tub so it doesn't go to waste. Am regretting adding the lavender oil.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/20111105-064003.jpg20111105-064003I don't know what's happening to the world, but clearly Cheez plays a vital role...2024-02-12T15:57:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/12/20/im-sorry-did-i-fing-stutter-when-i-said-to-bring-us-some-figgy-pudding/2023-12-20T15:29:10+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/11/14/for-this-i-am-tha-everyone-shut-up-im-trying-to-give-thanks/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/unknown.jpegUnknown2023-11-14T23:28:42+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/08/03/introduction-to-the-introduction/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/hello_my_name_is_sticker.svg_.pnghello_my_name_is_sticker.svg_2023-08-03T14:39:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/07/17/and-i-for-one-welcome-our-chatgpt-overlords/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/32953124_1787496177962721_1951416294993559552_n.jpg32953124_1787496177962721_1951416294993559552_nhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/i-for-one-welcome-our-new-insect-overlords.jpgi-for-one-welcome-our-new-insect-overlords2023-08-03T19:13:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/07/10/whats-hot-whats-not-this-summer/2023-07-10T14:31:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/06/26/life-beyond-listing-body-paragraph-topics-the-open-form-delayed-and-implicit-thesis/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/reducing-end-groups-of-cellulose-open-form-and-hemiactal.pngreducing-end-groups-of-cellulose-open-form-and-hemiactalhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/schools-out-1.jpgschools-out-1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/schools-out.jpgschools-outhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/theclosed-form-open-formcontinuum.jpgtheclosed-form-open-formcontinuumTop-down and Thesis-based Prose: Thesis clearly stated. All parts of essay related to thesis. Body paragraphs have topic sentences. Delayed-thesis Prose: Thesis appears near end. Reader held in suspense. Thesis-seeking Prose: Essay organized around a question rather than a thesis. Writer considers many perspectives. Thesis may not be arrived at. Theme-based Narrative: Can be chronologically organized with story elements. Often has a theme rather than a thesis. Can use literary techniques.2023-09-14T12:32:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/06/12/the-end-of-the-story-will-never-be-the-end-of-the-story/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/magura_cave.jpgmagura_cavehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/booktransp.pngbooktransp2023-06-17T09:08:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/06/05/where-creative-meets-academic-writing/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/unknown.jpegunknown2023-06-12T18:04:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/06/02/kittens-ice-cream-sunny-afternoons-byronic-man/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/blog3_affect_transfer_sex-sells1.jpgblog3_affect_transfer_sex-sells1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/ad_017.jpgad_017https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/official_photo_at_the_mount_rushmore__wsm.jpgOfficial_photo_at_the_Mount_Rushmore__wsmhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/marbman.jpgMarbman2023-06-02T15:23:31+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/05/15/this-is-just-to-say-2/2023-05-15T16:27:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/05/01/cant-miss-attractions-at-our-house-according-to-my-one-year-old/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide52.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide41.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide11.jpgSlide1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide21.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide31.jpgSlide32023-05-01T16:57:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/04/24/acting-its-as-easy-as-falling-off-a-cliff-in-1000-shoes/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/screen-shot-2015-04-19-at-6-21-35-am.pngScreen Shot 2015-04-19 at 6.21.35 AMhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/screen-shot-2015-04-19-at-6-07-58-am.pngScreen Shot 2015-04-19 at 6.07.58 AMhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_1167-2.jpgIMG_1167-2The poster for my new movie, a mash-up of Wolf of Wall Street and The Lord of the Ringshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_1224.jpgIMG_1224But for this suit, I'd find reasons. (Also, this is just kind of a cool picture...)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_1212.jpgIMG_1212Just stand on that tree and hold that huge light on a pole! Lean back! Further! Nah, you'll be fine!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_1164-2.jpgIMG_1164-2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_1161.jpgIMG_1161https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_0101.jpgIMG_0101For what it's worth, they're not very comfortable to hike in, either.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_00881.jpgIMG_0088I don't know. The client's from Boston, and said everyone will notice if the shoes are cheap. You East Coasters...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_0088.jpgIMG_00882023-05-05T16:32:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/04/17/this-literally-means-war-figuratively/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/tumblr_l1r651hal31qz5hh4o1_400.jpgYAKUMO DIGITAL CAMERAThis may effect you, sir.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/0021.jpg0021Oh, God, really? Ugh, oof. Yeesh. Fine. Put it on your car. Yep, right on the paint. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/bush_addresses_the_nation_on_immigration_reform.jpgAddress to the Nation on Immigration. Oval.*cough* For example… *cough*2023-06-17T09:14:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/04/10/whats-wrong-and-right-but-mostly-wrong-with-the-5-paragraph-essay/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/eleanor-and-the-balloons-the-good-place-season-2-episode-3.webpeleanor-and-the-balloons-the-good-place-season-2-episode-3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/128275-392x306r1-tai-chisymbol.jpg128275-392x306r1-tai-chisymbol2023-04-10T13:00:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/04/03/i-have-a-couple-teeny-concerns-about-the-idea-of-arming-teachers/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/femaleteacher_0-1.jpgfemaleteacher_0-1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/femaleteacher_0.jpgfemaleteacher_02023-06-27T10:56:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/03/27/if-you-know-youll-make-a-mistake-in-advance-is-it-still-a-mistake/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/group-therapy-94001696.jpggroup-therapy-94001696https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/gettyimages-593384542-5c5b3eb546e0fb00017dcf7f.jpggettyimages-593384542-5c5b3eb546e0fb00017dcf7f2023-07-03T15:06:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/03/20/the-8th-deadly-sin-the-way-of-the-3-legged-dog/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide08.jpgSlide08https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide09.jpgSlide09https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide10.jpgSlide10https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide05.jpgSlide05https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide06.jpgSlide06https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide07.jpgSlide07https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide04.jpgSlide04https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide03.jpgSlide03https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide02.jpgSlide02https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide01.jpgSlide012023-03-20T22:10:29+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2023/03/13/zen-and-the-art-of-outline-maintenance/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/person-walking-void-footage-062275334_iconl.jpegperson-walking-void-footage-062275334_iconlhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/whiskyflavour-whisky-on-the-rocks.jpgwhiskyflavour-whisky-on-the-rocks2023-06-17T09:12:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/29/my-secret-resume/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide21.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide12.jpgSlide1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide31.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide6.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide7.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide5.jpgSlide52023-03-10T17:00:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/11/when-in-amsterdam-do-as-the-amsterdam-ian-er-ites-do/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide81.jpgSlide8https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide71.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide61.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide51.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide41.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide31.jpgSlide3*Author's note: there may or may not be an Australian game called "Squigeradoo."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide21.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide11.jpgSlide12023-03-10T17:00:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/04/seeing-amsterdam-on-20-strangers-for-companions-and-no-idea-where-youre-going-per-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide8.jpgSlide8https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide7.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide6.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide5.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide2.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slide1.jpgSlide12023-03-10T17:00:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/06/06/quiet-concern-on-the-set-please-pt-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide71.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide61.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide51.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide41.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide31.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide21.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide11.jpgSlide12023-03-10T16:56:34+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/06/04/quiet-concern-on-the-set-please/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide7.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide6.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide5.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide2.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/slide1.jpgSlide12023-03-10T16:55:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/11/10/the-byronic-man-now-at-one-with-the-universe/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/img_0041.jpgIMG_0041https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/img_0875.jpgIMG_0875https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/ball-of-light.jpegball-of-lightPictured here: The Byronic Man. Sure, being a sentient ball of light makes getting ready in the morning a snap, but getting through customs? Forget it.2023-03-10T16:55:05+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/08/18/fight-club-the-complete-rules/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/articlelarge.jpgarticleLargeOh, that's right, we're also expanding in to Fight-PIlates on Wednesdays and Friday mornings.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/17-sixth-anniversary.jpg17-sixth-anniversaryYou know, it's YOUR fight club, and if you choose not to bring any food...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/beat-it.pngBeat-ItWhoo! Way to commit to the theme, fight clubbers!2023-03-10T16:52:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2020/05/11/my-quarantine-goals-original-and-revised/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/shining-1.pngshininghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/shining.pngshininghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/200114-moira-alexis-johnny-david-ew-444p_9610e314f170b2fa681be2b3a45d567d.jpg200114-moira-alexis-johnny-david-ew-444p_9610e314f170b2fa681be2b3a45d567d??????2023-03-10T16:51:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2020/07/09/a-reflection-on-my-50th-birthday/2023-03-10T16:51:27+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/about/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/forest-edit.jpgforest-edithttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/slide2.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/slide22.jpgslide22.jpghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/img_0262-e1355328038632.jpgIMG_0262https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/p10100311.jpgThe Byronic Manhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/p1010031.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/p1010087.jpgAuthor 2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/30274_125080524197964_108880329151317_119485_8246169_n.jpgAuthorhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/photo-on-2012-02-11-at-14-43-2.jpgPhoto on 2012-02-11 at 14.43 #2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/p1010007.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA2023-03-10T13:47:12+00:00weekly0.6https://thebyronicman.com/2020/07/15/it-was-the-best-of-times-it-was-the-worst-of-times-it-was-the-timiest-of-times/2020-07-22T23:09:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/04/28/oh-boy-my-mortgage-holder-is-merging-with-another-bank-eeeeeeeee/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/chevron-red-white-and-blue.jpgchevron-red-white-and-blueHm, going with a red, white & blue theme for the logo. Bold choice. Bold choice.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/happy-mardi-gras-pictures-2013-1.jpghappy-mardi-gras-pictures-2013-1Pictured here: recent merger of United Federal Trust - oh, no, wait; that's Mardi Gras! Common mix-up.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/patriotic_004.jpgpatriotic_004Mmmmm... I like the new bank logo... but can we America it up by another 15% or so?2020-05-19T17:22:21+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/11/crime-buster-action-comic-issue-1-of-hopefully-1/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/dscn6482.jpgDSCN6482https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/dark-knight-rises-batman-bane-fight.jpgDark-Knight-Rises-batman-bane-fightConfronting the burglar. Artist's rendering.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/picture-23.pngpicture-23"When we get to the border just play it cool, because we don't have passports."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/5274849-thief-with-bag-of-money-and-flashlight.jpg5274849-thief-with-bag-of-money-and-flashlightSee? Would that have been so hard? I swear, there's no professionalism any more.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/doctor1.pngdoctor(1)2020-05-19T17:21:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/01/an-open-letter-to-the-person-who-un-followed-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/firepole.jpgFirepoleAnd me and all my followers will hang out in the tree fort and you'll be like, "Can I come up?" and we'll say, "Sorry, it's only for subscribers."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/the_worlds_greatest_fbi_agent_tshirt-p235522030961958641b7ai3_400-1.jpgthe_worlds_greatest_fbi_agent_tshirt-p235522030961958641b7ai3_400-1Hello, special agent! Enjoying that beer? Excellent. Oh, this? I won this last year for being so great; but as you can see, I'm clearly one of you. Say, my facial recognition software is on the fritz. I don't suppose I could borrow yours.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/3951503337_197bbb8a83_z.jpgVictorian manI say, this Zach Galifianakis is quite the purveyor of ribald tomfoolery, eh?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/3843875187_4045fc4ccb.jpgBored CatHey, uh, I'm so bored and... um... I'm a cat... I... I like fish.2020-05-19T17:19:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/18/please-hire-me-to-be-an-astronaut/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/space-suit-mmua.jpgspace-suit-mmuaHey, could I get one of these that doesn't make me look fat?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/saturn.jpgsaturnDid you know Saturn isn't spherical, but actually ovoid? No? Hm. I'll send you a postcard from space. 2020-05-19T17:18:42+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/21/make-cold-symptoms-the-least-of-your-problems-with-happitame/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/unknown.jpegUnknownYour life will be like this picture!* With Happitame! (*assumes life was already like picture. Not a guarantee)2020-05-19T17:17:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/08/magicians-secrets-revealed/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/images.jpegimagesCustodian, clean up on stage, please. We're going to need some sawdust and the wet/dry vac on stage, please.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/300px-freeze-dried-ice-cream1.jpg300px-Freeze-Dried-Ice-CreamAwwww, look at the iddle bunnies!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/300px-freeze-dried-ice-cream.jpg300px-Freeze-Dried-Ice-CreamAwwww. Look at the iddle bunnies!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/54354668.jpg54354668Is is an 8 of clubs? HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! FOOLISH MORTALS! YOU KNOW NOT WITH WHAT YOU TAMPER!!! Oh, the clouds? Guess it's going to rain. RAIN DESPAIR AND TORMENT!!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/1126373165_7aa197e797.jpg1126373165_7aa197e797Cross-section of a human torso. (taken from the Journal of the American Medical Association)2020-05-19T17:16:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/03/what-to-do-when-theres-an-ear-on-your-bee/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/unknown-1.jpegUnknown-1I'm back, you guys! You won't believe what happened to me! What do you mean 'who am i?'? I'm Gary. Gary the bee. I am so!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/bumblebee-pollination-is-007.jpgBumblebee-pollination-is--0072020-05-19T17:09:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/29/the-rejected-endings-of-a-farewell-to-arms/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/5743429337_a74f6d5f11_o.jpg5743429337_a74f6d5f11_o"...and then I threw my gun in the trash, and said 'farewell' to it..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/cma0823-hospital-hallway.jpgcma0823-hospital-hallwayTotal yuckers.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/cave1.jpgCave1At the entrance of the cave you encounter a bear with a sword! If you think Frederic should talk to the bear, turn to page...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-great-gatsby1.jpgthe-great-gatsby1"Oh, really? You like it F. Scott? Yeah, take it. That's cool."2020-05-19T17:07:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/about-the-name/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/p10100401.jpgp10100401https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/p1010040.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA2020-05-18T04:20:08+00:00weekly0.6https://thebyronicman.com/2017/01/01/17-new-years-resolutions-for-2017/2018-03-01T17:32:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2016/03/14/byronic-man-2016-a-candidate-he-personally-can-believe-in/2016-04-01T23:22:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2016/01/11/limping-toward-glory/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/img_9626.jpgimg_96262016-03-23T18:31:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/06/15/have-you-seen-too-many-movies/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/images.jpegimages"For proper gum health, it's important to floss, but it's also important to - CHK! CHK! - brush your gums."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/holden_and_leon.jpgholden_and_leonBonus question: Have you ever wondered how you'd do on the Voight-Kampff test?2015-09-27T11:39:48+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/06/08/if-the-english-language-had-been-created-as-a-school-assignment/2015-12-20T07:34:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/06/01/wont-get-fooled-again-except-when-i-will/2015-06-29T15:00:05+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/05/25/please-hire-me-to-be-your-movie-superhero/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/gaza-city-destroyed-buildings.jpggaza-city-destroyed-buildingsNo need to thank me, citizens!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/tesla-coil-spark.jpgTesla coil spark"Hey look at my radioactive electricity generator! Look closer! Closer..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ironing.jpgironingIf you're more in the mood for a retro-80s pun hero? "Hey! Time to get pressed!" then I hit him with an iron.2015-07-17T12:23:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/05/18/35-years-ago-mt-st-helens-opened-an-awe-inspring-majestic-can-of-whoop-ass-on-us/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/images.jpegimagesNo, that's a Thunderdome. Common mistake.2015-08-12T23:18:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/05/11/i-now-pronounce-you-brain-brain/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/brain.jpegbrain"I love you for your mind." "Of course you do. I'm a brain."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/70377_l.jpg70377_lBut, Spouse Brain, what if it's - and stay with me here - a really, really *cool* guitar?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/img_5858.jpgimg_5858Your reign of terror is over, Smoke Alarm! ...Do you smell smoke?2016-06-18T14:35:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/12/theres-a-first-time-for-everything-sometimes-two-first-times/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/angry-mob1.jpgangry-mob1Like this. Only... you know... diverse.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sazerac.jpgSazeracIt's a drink. A really, really, really, good drink.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/maverickstandup_skipper_1_1.jpgmaverickstandup_skipper_1_1Pictured here: Not you, when you're starting out.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/58462467.jpg58462467It's entirely possible the name is meant ironically.2015-05-07T21:45:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/05/04/ah-good-evening-monsieur-may-i-park-your-horrible-piece-of-crap/2015-11-10T19:47:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/04/27/a-fathers-wish-for-his-children/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/unknown.jpegUnknownI really respect your decision to give us this house, sweetie.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/trees_in_green_field_and_bright_sky_ja110_photo.jpgTrees_in_Green_field_and_bright_sky_JA110_photoAnd you know what? You got ants and allergies and sunburn to worry about... maybe stick with the other one.2015-05-12T16:44:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/04/13/what-the-world-needs-now-is-signs-more-signs/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/pict0094.jpgpict0094Look at all those firemen! Must be a convention, or something!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/20023167.jpg20023167It could be so many things... https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/img_0120.jpgIMG_01202015-04-17T23:05:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2015/04/06/note-to-self-think-of-hilarious-poignant-title-about-reawakening/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/dsc00293-2.jpgDSC00293-22015-05-04T14:30:01+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/12/01/operation-dessert-storm-2/2015-04-11T19:32:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/07/15/bailey/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/p1010004.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA2015-05-11T13:59:00+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/30/why-glee-is-seriously-just-so-so-awful-a-pointcounterpoint-post/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/fg_cast_1.jpgfg_cast_1Yes, I'm pining for the good old days, and promoting a show that was canceled after 8 episodes. I'm comfortable with who I am.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/gq-glee21.jpegGQ-GLEE2Oh, man, I love the way they challenge objectifying, traditional notions of beauty and popularity!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/51flosdcmql-_sl500_aa300_.jpg51flOSdcMqL._SL500_AA300_Hours I'll be begging - begging - for on my death bed.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/low-sodium-chicken-broth.jpglow-sodium-chicken-brothYeah! Kick out the jams, mother-gleekers!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/gq-glee2.jpegGQ-GLEE2Oh, man, I love the way they challenge objectifying, traditional notions of beauty and popularity!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/glee-gq-photoshoot-9576.jpgglee-gq-photoshoot-9576Oh, man, I love the way they challenge objectifying, traditional notions of beauty and popularity!2014-07-30T23:05:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/07/28/time-travel-and-fish-vengeance-they-just-dont-mix/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/slide1.jpgSlide12014-12-28T01:26:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/07/01/make-it-a-4th-of-july-no-one-will-ever-ever-ever-forget/2014-07-09T14:53:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/06/23/rejected-novel-titles/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/mice.pngmiceAlso rejected: "Hurray For Bunnies!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/100-years-cover.jpg100 years cover"And Then You Think Someone Dies, So You Cross Them Off And Then They Come Back And, I Mean, Come On…"2015-04-06T19:20:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/06/09/5-steps-to-being-liked-by-everyone-on-earth/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/slide5.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/slide1.jpgSlide1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/slide2.jpgSlide22014-07-27T17:17:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/05/19/if-kids-stories-were-internet-headlines/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/unknown.jpegUnknownShould Prince Charming's muscle-building secret be banned?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/fairy-tale-characters-snow-white-poison-apple-wicked-queen.jpgfairy-tale-characters-snow-white-poison-apple-wicked-queen#8 - people don't usually cackle and rub their hands together as you eat if the apple ISN'T poisoned.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/05018.jpg05018Don't forget to "like" Carl!2014-08-09T11:37:19+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/05/06/13-1-things-to-know-for-your-first-half-marathon/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/giant-breakfast-cracker-barrel.jpggiant breakfast cracker barrelWhat? I gotta fuel up, don't I?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/img_0168.jpgIMG_0168See? Look how happy I look. I don't? Oh. Well, I am.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/popeye-post.jpgpopeye-postI sets a new best time, cuz I eats Gu at mile 9...!2014-11-10T19:20:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/05/01/how-really-to-fold-a-fitted-sheet-2/2014-05-19T00:37:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/04/14/please-hire-me-to-be-your-late-night-talk-show-host/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/laughing.jpglaughing"You tripped over your dress?? out-RAGE-ous!!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/220px-paul_rudd_lf.jpg220px-Paul_Rudd_LFPoor Paul Rudd. Poor, poor, poor Paul Rudd...2014-04-26T21:32:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/03/24/how-are-americans-spending-their-spring-break/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/slide1.jpgSlide12014-04-25T01:42:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/03/18/its-like-im-blogging-right-in-your-face/2014-03-24T23:09:26+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/03/03/the-thin-triplicate-line-between-society-chaos/2014-03-28T08:36:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/02/24/famous-people-throughout-history-theyre-all-awful/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/unknown.jpegUnknownYes, that is a single tear running down statue-Cobain's cheek. It's meant to represent the kind of maudlin, faux- sentimentality that showed up in his music never.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/hemingwayinbabydress.jpghemingwayinbabydressUntil he was 6, Hemingway's parents dressed him as a girl so, technically, it's true.2015-04-06T19:55:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/02/13/what-not-to-say-on-valentines-day-2/2014-05-30T11:39:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/02/11/the-long-dark-tonight-show-of-the-soul/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/images.jpegimagesVladimir and Estragon wait for the Lewinsky jokes to end.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/jayleno.jpgTHE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENOLeno, circa 1996. Or possibly 2002. Or 2010.2014-04-15T20:34:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/16/side-effects-may-include/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/639099884_c801788907.jpg639099884_c801788907Don't you deserve Happitame?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/thumbs-0026729efed-89ba-4552-9227-2cc692f9d126large1.jpgthumbs.002.jpg6729efed-89ba-4552-9227-2cc692f9d126LargeDoctors do not recommend making pancakes while taking Happitame.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tractordeere5525_action.jpgTractorDeere5525_actionOh man, steer waaaay clear of one of these if you're taking Happitame. Ha ha. We could tell you stories...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/thumbs-0026729efed-89ba-4552-9227-2cc692f9d126large.jpgthumbs.002.jpg6729efed-89ba-4552-9227-2cc692f9d126LargeDoctors recommend not making pancakes while taking Happitame.2014-02-07T17:06:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/31/the-wireless-modem-is-broken-a-horror-story-for-the-blogosphere/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/2274978538_15c911a12b.jpg2274978538_15c911a12bGive me second, I'm just finishing up this website about agriculture.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/3843875187_4045fc4ccb.jpg3843875187_4045fc4ccbGet it? Get it? Because a 'Girl Scout Research Institute' sounds funny, right? So I'm doing, like, a parody... whatever. Like everything you write is so perfect.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/the-shining-jack-in-maze.jpgthe-shining-jack-in-mazeAll work and no Internet makes Jack a dull boy.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/writing-projects-for-kids8.jpgwriting-projects-for-kids8Give me second, I'm just finishing up this website about skiing. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/bored-cat.jpgbored-catGet it? Get it? Because a Girl Scout Institute sounds funny, right" So I'm doing, like a parody... whatever. Like everything you write is so perfect. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/article-page-main-ehow-images-a05-mi-qc-configure-verizon-wireless-modem-800x800.jpgarticle-page-main-ehow-images-a05-mi-qc-configure-verizon-wireless-modem-800x800The modem in happier times. Before... before the red light came.2015-09-09T18:29:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/02/03/biggest-surprises-of-superbowl-xlviii/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/full-leaf-tea-latte.jpgThe new 30-gallon latteLuckily it had cooled.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/red-hot-chili-peppers-super-bowl-bruno-mars.jpgred-hot-chili-peppers-super-bowl-bruno-marsAt this point it should be obvious this post is humorous, as there's not a force on earth that can make the peppers keep their shirts on.2014-02-18T02:57:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2014/01/07/5066/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_0320.jpgIMG_0320What you see in the ad while likely be less… clustered.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_0318.jpgIMG_0318Now THAT is a reassuringly charming shirt.2014-01-22T17:53:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/12/19/airport-security-the-best-friend-youll-ever-have-wholl-detain-you-indefinitely-without-charges/2014-01-24T03:35:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/11/12/in-retail-no-one-can-hear-you-scream/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide1.jpgSlide1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide51.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide6.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide2.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide7.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide8.jpgSlide8https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide5.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/slide9.jpgSlide92014-07-27T17:16:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/12/11/the-5-minute-hobbit/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-battling-the-rock-monster.jpgTHE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY"An entire mountain is throwing boulders at us! I hope no one gets even so much as a bruise!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/images.jpegimages"Wow, one might reasonably think a bruise or two was coming out way!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/hobbit-gandalf-in-pine-tree-small.jpgHobbit-Gandalf-in-pine-tree-smallAlso the tree is on fire. Whatever.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/166.jpg166For that matter, why am I being such a jerk? One might think my turn to evil would be more tragic if I weren't already awful.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-thorin-with-bow.jpgTHE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEYDare you question a dwarf who glowers so royally?2014-06-22T21:18:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/24/what-to-do-when-you-have-100k-but-not-self-esteem-or-taste/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/518m37dxzfl.jpg518M37DXZFLhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/nalts-bringbacktheoriginalkoolaidmanvoicekraft723-143.jpgNalts-BringBackTheOriginalKoolAidManVoiceKraft723-143OH YEAH!!! Do you take Visa?2013-11-02T18:07:48+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/20/your-sunday-best-best-songs-while-driving-in-the-middle-of-the-night/2013-12-14T23:53:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/15/banking-on-hitting-my-marks/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/brad-pitt-phone-call-cigarette-04.jpgitBrad Pitt: another actor considered sexy for his mobile banking prowesshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/r6-n_hadvb-dyq5hr6d_ebymcg3.jpegR6-N_HadVb-Dyq5hR6d_EBymcg3ACTING!!2013-10-18T15:48:05+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/10/a-year-of-kidneybean/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/zoe.jpgZoehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/d5a53004-3b9aca00-1-img_0205.jpgD5A53004-3B9ACA00-1-IMG_0205https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/d5a53004-3b9aca00-2-img_0195.jpgD5A53004-3B9ACA00-2-IMG_01952013-11-01T11:42:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/07/omg-you-wont-believe-how-badly-these-celebrities-have-aged/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/slide2.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/slide1.jpgSlide12013-10-17T08:29:00+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/03/if-other-people-took-on-a-government-shut-down-approach/2013-10-07T05:58:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/29/biggest-surprises-in-the-final-episode-of-breaking-bad/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide11.jpgSlide1"You know you've found someone special when he'll stare at you for long periods without blinking and offer to make your tea stronger or walk you through a fields of corpses."2013-10-03T13:37:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/10/06/new-feature-your-sunday-best/2013-10-09T22:11:26+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/26/all-i-ask-is-for-all-i-ask/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/north_dakota2.jpgnorth_dakota2No offense.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/16206_zoom_psu054wq.jpg16206_zoom_PSU054WQAll I ask is for motivational images that don't actually connect to the motivation.2013-09-29T03:12:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/23/and-next-up-is-well-not-me-apparently/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/images.jpegimages"What's seems to be troubling you, eh?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/san-jose-taxi.jpgsan-jose-taxiPhew, thank God that's taken care off! Those cab companies are merciless!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/smg_nigel_tufnel.jpgSMG_Nigel_Tufnel(by which I mean they blasted the whole thing cranked up to 11)2013-10-03T13:36:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/19/the-horrid-stench-of-responsibility/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide6.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide5.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide2.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/slide1.jpgSlide12013-10-20T15:52:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/16/awkward-family-photos-i-love-unironically/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/228.jpg228https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/awkward-family-photos-03.jpgAwkward-family-photos-03https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/best-awkward-family-photos.jpgBest-Awkward-Family-Photoshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/att00016.jpgATT00016https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/sword.jpgsword2013-10-04T20:15:11+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/12/please-hire-me-to-solve-the-syrian-crisis/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/wwz3.jpgwwz3I found this cool graphic online. It looks like there's 13 problems. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/01_map.gif01_mapShown here: Syria. Probably.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/kx5psoa.gifkX5pSOaDid you SEE this week's episode?? Holy mother of crap!! I haven't exhaled or stopped peeing myself in 3 days!2013-09-22T20:36:40+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/09/09/sing-first-ask-questions-later/2013-09-16T03:15:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/08/30/25-of-the-onions-best-headlines-for-their-25th-anniversary/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/8996781.jpg8996781https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/9532307.jpg9532307https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/5370598.jpg5370598https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/the-onion.jpgthe-onionhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/4779840.jpg47798402013-09-16T10:23:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/08/26/welcome-back-teachers-try-not-to-freak-out/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/3fxwk.jpg3FxWkhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/aptopix-mideast-egypt_horo-81.jpgAPTOPIX-Mideast-Egypt_Horo-81Like those rallies in Egypt? Now those were big rallies, right? Let's keep some perspective.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/anti_bacterial_wipes.jpganti_bacterial_wipesYou're going to want to try and get a good 8 or 9 usages out of each wipe.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/first-aid-kit-2.jpgfirst-aid-kit-2Your new health insurance package. It has gauze!2013-09-05T03:07:06+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/08/20/secrets-of-area-51-revealed/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ufo-festival-in-roswell-n-008.jpgThis lovely couple can finally reveal that their last name isn't actually "Johnson."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/1-imgp7515.jpgON THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY CROSSING SOUTHERN NEVADA = BARREN AND EMPTYWhat? Am I wrong?2013-08-24T19:22:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/08/14/5-things-id-have-mixed-feelings-about-having-named-after-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/tom-cruise-8-4-08-2.jpgtom-cruise-8-4-08-2California has "the Tom Cruise law." Think about it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/pump-house.jpgpump-houseAnd are the hay bales for me, too? No? Oh.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/images.jpegimagesThere's a John Cleese Landfill in New Zealand. What's up with that, Kiwis? 2013-09-07T00:12:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/08/06/the-bold-feminist-vision-of-robin-thickes-blurred-lines/2013-08-06T03:09:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/04/never-say-never-say-never/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/eagles-deli-challenge-burger.jpgeagles-deli-challenge-burgerYou know what? I'm pretty good for shirts. I would like the Godzilla doll, though.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/han-solo-greedo.jpghan-solo-greedoOr, to be more accurate: Han shot. Period. "First" implies that Greedo got to do any shooting.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/road-safety-merging-lanes.jpgroad-safety-merging-lanesYou're not that important. In fact, you suck.2014-04-14T13:18:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/08/03/5-reasons-shark-week-is-just-so-so-ridiculous/2013-08-31T02:39:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/11/the-5-situations-in-which-it-is-acceptable-to-say-thats-so-gay/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/miller_s_crossing_miller_s_crossing_1990_portrait_w858.jpgmiller_s_crossing_miller_s_crossing_1990_portrait_w858You haven't seen Miller's Crossing? Really? Oh, man, it's fantastic.2014-02-03T15:34:06+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/03/hef-and-the-art-of-scrapbook-maintenance/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/scrapbook1.jpgscrapbookAnd this one's, let's see, of a naked girl... um, this one, I believe, yes - naked girl. Oh, here's a page for a tuba! Well, yes, that's a naked girl playing the tuba, but the tuba's clearly the focal point.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/female_cyclist_in_blue1.jpgfemale_cyclist_in_bluehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/female_cyclist_in_blue.jpgfemale_cyclist_in_blueSee? Now this women I believe enjoy cycling, and her page reflects that! More emphasis on the bicycle, less on the... you know... naked.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/hallmark-instant-scrapbooks-775522.jpghallmark-instant-scrapbooks-775522Here's one that Lana is working on at the moment. Watch out for this one, Hugh! We call her "Lana-tic" because she can get ca-razy with the glitter and glue!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/scrapbook.jpgscrapbookAnd this one's, let's see, of a naked girl... um, this one, I believe, yes - naked girl. Oh, here's a page for a tuba! Oh, no, no - that's a naked girl in profile.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/scrapbook-max-screenshot-design-environment2.pngScrapbook-max-screenshot-design-environment2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/x2_8e00053.jpegx2_8e00053Oh you and your daughters? Granddaughters? playing dress-up? 2013-08-01T03:53:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/20/max-and-the-argentinian-death-penguin-part-1-the-past-comes-knocking/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/1966-ford-fairlane-black-ehfcib0badg-l.jpg1966-ford-fairlane-black-EHfcIb0BAdG-lI'd hope it goes without saying that Max has a cool, old classic American car.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/pawn_shop.jpgLYou can find a lot of ancient, cursed, and demonic relics here, you really can.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/fortune-teller-online.jpgfortune-teller-online2013-08-01T03:52:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/13/why-shark-week-is-ridiculous/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/gingerbread-man-recipe-for-kids1.jpgGingerbread Man Recipe for Kids1Then, over on the dessert table we put - Oh, Jesus, it's like they don't even care that they obviously look like little people!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/shark.jpgsharkDid you know that sharks have 6 senses, instead of 5? Yeah, well, you wouldn't be thinking about that when their teeth slice through your rib cage like 50 Ginsu knives!2013-08-01T03:51:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/02/please-hire-me-to-be-north-koreas-supreme-leader/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/supreme-fall-winter-2010-caps-front.jpgsupreme-fall-winter-2010-caps-frontDo you like my hat? Really? You think it's tasteful and dignified? You aren't just saying that because I can have you imprisoned? Would it also look classy with a bandana around it?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/map_of_north-korea.jpgmap_of_north-koreaUmmm... North Seoul? Kim Jong-Il City? Gaaahhh, this is embarassing!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ichigeki2006.jpgichigeki2006This war is SO COOL! And, it's a great cardio workout! All hail Supreme Leader!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hole_0183sml.jpghole_0183smlAllllmost there...2013-10-15T12:38:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/26/100-guaranteed-true-horoscope-predictions-not-a-guarantee/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/stradivarius-2.jpgstradivarius-2Yeah, yeah - Yo Yo Ma plays one. Ha! Nice try "Sagittarius."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/000096.jpegConstellation AquariusSee? That dark spot where the star should be? Ouch.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/kate-winslet-titanic-movie-pictures-1.jpgkate-winslet-titanic-movie-pictures-1"So, you know... that's why I think I'd fit..." "Hm, no, I really don't think you would. Sorry. It was fun having sex, though."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/how_the_movie_titanic_could_have_had_a_happier_ending_640_011.jpghow_the_movie_titanic_could_have_had_a_happier_ending_640_011https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/87992-004-9307aad1.jpg87992-004-9307AAD1Also, you lucky numbers today are 3, 22, and 73. You might consider this when determining how many prisoners to behead, or homes to pillage.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/conan-the-barbarian-arnold-schwarzenegger-movie-image.jpgconan-the-barbarian-arnold-schwarzenegger-movie-image2015-12-01T17:54:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/25/if-the-english-language-had-been-made-as-a-school-assignment/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/8081848908_42f4385f01_z.jpg8081848908_42f4385f01_zEnglish: The "KFC Bowls" of languages.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/funny-pictures-german-language-meme-5.jpgfunny-pictures-german-language-meme-52013-07-30T14:59:27+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/22/take-a-break-from-the-heat-and-ask-sexy-stalin/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/images-11.jpegimages-1Unless this is your thing...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/gray_scale.jpgGray_scaleOr... did you mean literally - Grey, broken in to fifty shades? Because answer is different.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/3308072224348303.jpg3308072224348303(This is Crazy Harry)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/mussolini-giovane.jpgmussolini-giovaneHere is young Mussolini. Not sexy. As if Fredo Corleone and The Mad Bomber from The Muppets had a baby, who is a pedophile.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/stalin_1902_small_young_stalin-s500x672-1655-580.jpgstalin_1902_small_young_stalin-s500x672-1655-5802015-07-01T03:06:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/18/between-the-idea-and-the-reality-judging-the-zimmerman-jury/2013-07-21T01:22:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/11/love-on-the-brain/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/images-1.jpegimages-1"I get an A+ in blood!" That's how I have to remember a simple detail that could save my life...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/i-know-what-you-did-last-summer-1997-i-know-what-you-did-last-summer-33904392-1920-1080.pngI-Know-What-You-Did-Last-Summer-1997-i-know-what-you-did-last-summer-33904392-1920-1080So, basically I get the gist of what she did last summer.2014-05-06T11:43:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/08/guest-column-by-one-of-my-mosquito-bites/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/mosquito-biting.jpgmosquito-bitingThe day I was born. Ah, there's dad...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/healthyself_cover2_d_large.jpghealthyself_cover2_d_largeLook how content he is. And with all those hands the temptation to scratch must be off the charts!2013-08-12T01:07:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/01/throw-a-4th-of-july-party-no-one-will-forget-without-counseling-anyway/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/old-people-sleep-problems.jpgold-people-sleep-problems"Oh, I'm sorry, is all this freedom BORING YOU??"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/bad-peeled-egg.jpgbad-peeled-eggIf you wish to throw them in the garbage with all your strength, that's acceptable.2013-07-07T10:58:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/04/independence-is-a-choice-and-one-constantly-renewed/2013-07-13T18:02:19+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/07/03/freedom-let-that-s-ring-2/2013-07-23T06:15:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/06/25/please-hire-me-to-wiretap-your-phonecalls-and-emails/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/email-inbox-001.jpgemail-inbox-001Which it's not.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/edward-snowden-bt-crop.jpgEdward Snowden BT CropSeriously. Snowden. How hard would it be to snap a quick self-portrait? America's going to turn on you because they're tired of this photo.2013-07-11T00:54:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/06/18/dispatch-from-the-heart-of-dixie/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/10409-27939.gif10409-27939This guy.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dark-knight06.jpgdark-knight06This guy.2013-06-25T23:29:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/30/fly-me-to-the-moon-no-seriously/2013-07-04T17:29:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/06/13/its-like-the-birds-if-it-was-one-bird-and-if-tippi-hedren-was-10-lbs-and-furry/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/img_0044.jpgIMG_0044Come on, now. Seriously. You can't even hold the camera steady, and he's getting closer. Open the door. This is humiliating.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/img_0039.jpgIMG_0039BAM!! ME!! That's what's on your tail, stupid! Hahahahaha!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/img_0038.jpgIMG_0038Hey, cat! Hey, cat! Hey! Hey! Hey, cat!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/img_0050.jpgIMG_0050"You think you're safe on that bed? You think some window can keep me out? Sleep with one kitty eye open..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/img_0043.jpgIMG_0043https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/img_0040.jpgIMG_00402013-06-30T14:54:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/06/10/a-very-very-dirty-post/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/the-end02.jpgthe-end02The race organizer gives us our last minute pep talk.2013-06-19T03:36:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/31/susie-strong/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/susie-lindau-8.jpgsusie-lindau-82013-06-18T22:55:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/27/excerpt-from-the-journal-of-a-6-month-old/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/army_2010_0323-2.jpgAir Cav infantry Soldiers compete in company challengeAw man, I bet they're having so much fun. Show offs.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/draft_lens9006901module79591271photo_1263685119800px-angry_brown_tabby-j.jpegdraft_lens9006901module79591271photo_1263685119800px-Angry_brown_tabby.jI can't tell what he wants. Pull his tail? Maybe? Maybe pull his tail? I'll try pulling his tail.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/night-night-little-pookie-image.jpgnight-night-little-pookie-imageI do so enjoy the classics.2013-05-31T21:13:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/23/why-you-should-buy-luke-skywalkers-pants/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/images1.jpegcorvette summerYou haven't seen it. It's... it's really bad.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/star-wars-007.jpgStar WarsAnd really, it was the pants that made the movie such a global phenomenon, right?2013-05-25T14:47:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/16/your-guide-to-non-verbal-communication-signals/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide7.jpgSlide7https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide6.jpgSlide6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide5.jpgSlide5https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide4.jpgSlide4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide3.jpgSlide3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide21.jpgSlide2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide11.jpgSlide12013-05-21T01:12:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/13/introducing-the-jafees/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/hiding-under-blanket.jpghiding under blanket"I wonder if I've gotten any hits..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/two_20gomers_20do_20the_20cinnamon_20challenge.jpgtwo_20gomers_20do_20the_20cinnamon_20challengeYeah! Two helpings of Byronic Man, comin' atcha!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/zooey-deschanel-at-the-the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-press-conference-33of50.jpgZooey-Deschanel-At-The-The-Hitchhikers-Guide-To-The-Galaxy-Press-Conference-33of50I'm over it, Johnson. I've moved on. *sniff*https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/559531_428040540621604_1085564494_n.png559531_428040540621604_1085564494_nhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/the-jafee.jpgThe Jafeehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slide1.jpgSlide12013-05-21T01:10:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/09/good-evening-sir-may-i-park-your-horrible-piece-of-crap/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/bct1100or-zoom1.jpgBCT1100OR-zoomhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/bct1100or-zoom.jpgBCT1100OR-zoomhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/mopar-muscle-cars_1600x1200.jpgmopar-muscle-cars_1600x1200Hm, um, I'm pretty sure you were low on gas when you dropped it off. Also, I think you'd already gotten those speeding tickets. Heh.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/trucks.jpgtrucksAbout as hard to park as you'd expect. Maybe a little harder.2013-05-27T02:29:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/06/spring-is-in-the-air-which-means-its-time-again-to-ask-sexy-stalin/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/137.jpg137That's about as good as it gets...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/photo-on-2012-11-13-at-16-591.jpgphoto-on-2012-11-13-at-16-591You know you want one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/stalin_1902_small_young_stalin-s500x672-1655-580.jpgstalin_1902_small_young_stalin-s500x672-1655-580* Sexy Stalin is not a licensed therapist. He is just a very handsome man you can talk to, who has clear ideas about how to run - and decimate - the world.2013-05-19T11:58:06+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/05/a-sunday-question-more-fun-than-a-barrel-with-a-single-lonely-monkey-in-it/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/understatement.jpgunderstatement2013-05-23T19:33:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/05/02/our-babies-our-selves-our-tired-tired-selves/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/16192691-drunk-man-asleep-with-a-beer-in-the-hands-of.jpg16192691-drunk-man-asleep-with-a-beer-in-the-hands-ofSee? At least have the dignity to find a glass.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/hayley-rockin-out-hayley-williams-14683085-344-344.jpghayley-rockin-out-hayley-williams-14683085-344-344"Lemme hear you say...! Uhhh... hoo boy. Man, I'm just... sooo sleepy."2013-08-18T17:31:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/29/what-to-expect-when-you-visit-the-george-w-bush-library/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/dry-rub-ribs-5.jpgdry rub ribs 5What Would You Have Done?: Try to minimize the suffering and terror as hurricane Katrina devastates one of America’s most historic cities OR go to a barbecue? What you may not have known!: The barbecue had dry-rub.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/madlibs.jpgmadlibs"Saddam is 'juggling' weapons of mass 'indigestion' in the 'greenhouse'?? Ah, hahahahahah! That invasion would have been the BEST!2013-05-05T22:23:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/25/please-hire-me-to-colonize-mars/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/200px-mars_atmosphere.jpg200px-Mars_atmosphereHey, I can see my house from here!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/tumblr_m0g536blll1r2bm13o1_400.jpgtumblr_m0g536bLlL1r2bm13o1_400A lot of applicants will probably be scared off by the spoooooky Mars Face thing, so I'm pretty much a shoe-in.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/20030728_marsclose02.jpg20030728_marsClose022013-06-20T18:31:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/22/real-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-sketcher-so-choose-carefully/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cat_anime_girl-1920x1200.jpgcat_anime_girl-1920x1200"Yes, I suppose I did mention that I like cats, but... I have to go now."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/famous-drawings-of-people-animals-women-roses-flowers-nature-best-drawer-21st-century-boy-girl-mickey-mouse-paintings-modern-contemporary-fluxus-avant-garde-top-cool-interior-design.jpgissues"YOUR VOICE IS LIKE A DRILL! STOP NAGGING! I'M DRAWING AS FAST AS I CAN! YOUR SKIN IS LIKE PESTILENCE!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/lifedrawing26thblog3.jpglifedrawing26thblog3"I really think I've said enough about my breasts at this point."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/jean-wonderwoman.jpgjean wonderwoman"Heeyyyy, I made you wonder woman! Lookit that! You're feeling good now, ain't ya?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/640x898_10288_sword_girl_2d_fantasy_anime_girl_woman_picture_image_digital_art.jpg640x898_10288_Sword_Girl_2d_fantasy_anime_girl_woman_picture_image_digital_art"Uh... I REALLY don't remember saying anything about a giant sword..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/kids-drawings-turned-into-stuffed-toys-4.jpgkids-drawings-turned-into-stuffed-toys-4"I drawed you as a alien! Ha ha ha ha ha!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/kids-drawing.jpgkids drawing"THAT'S what I look like?! Oh God, my is my head that big?? And my nose!!" *sob sob sob sob*https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/couple02.jpgcouple02"Heyyyy, I put you two at a concert! You like music, right? Suuuuure, everybody likes music."2015-06-08T11:48:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/18/next-time-he-can-tell-the-story-of-telling-the-story/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/nitpicking.jpgnitpicking"...and another thing: 'conundrum' doesn't mean what you think it means. And also...?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/zzzzzzzzzxxxxxxxxzzzzzz.jpgHuey P NewtonNewton. He was kind of intense.2013-04-23T22:53:40+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/16/the-good-that-created-the-boston-marathon-will-overpower-the-horror-that-raised-its-head-yesterday/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/2012-04-16t170123z_01_bos05_rtridsp_3_marathon-boston.jpg2012-04-16T170123Z_01_BOS05_RTRIDSP_3_MARATHON-BOSTONhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/tlumacki_boston-marathon-_sportsj.jpgtlumacki_boston-marathon-_sportsJhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/263851-boston-marathon-2012.jpeg263851-boston-marathon-20122013-04-22T21:43:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/19/please-hire-me-to-be-your-doctor/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/house-cast-house-md-35149_1152_864.jpgHouse-Cast-house-md-35149_1152_864I paid very close attention.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/with-honors1.jpgWith-Honors1Oh, man does this take me back to the old days, with my study buddies Moira Kelly and Brendan Fraser. And that other guy.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/cepbasicspresentation-004-001.pngCepBasicsPresentation.004-001Damn it, nurse! Get out of my way! Can't you see this man as the hiccups?! CLEAR!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/p1010012.jpgCostume party 1See? I have a lab coat. You think anyone can get one of those?2013-04-05T21:41:06+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/05/thank-you-mr-ebert-for-introducing-me-to-one-of-the-loves-of-my-life/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/1975_cb_roger_ebert_ll_130403_ssh.jpg1975_cb_roger_ebert_ll_130403_ssh2013-04-28T02:42:31+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/04/a-very-un-rockin-post-that-will-not-make-me-a-star-and-im-okay-with-that/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/up-pretenderslg.jpgup-pretendersLG"Tattooed love boys! I tore my neeaaAAAAHH MY GOD THAT WAS A BAD ONE! HOOOOO!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/robertplant_srts2.pngRobertPlant_SRTS2DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER COLLATIIIIIING??!!2013-04-06T19:16:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/04/01/the-impersistence-of-memory/2013-04-01T13:32:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/31/if-you-wish-submit-your-vote-via-large-mythical-egg-bearing-rabbit-that-is-allowable/2013-04-02T03:05:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/28/i-coulda-been-a-freshly-pressed-contender/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/thepursuitoffreshlypressed.jpgthepursuitoffreshlypressed2013-04-26T18:10:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/25/please-hire-me-to-be-a-twisty-human-car-model/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/29290380041_large.jpg29290380041_large"rrrrrrrrrrRRRRR! RRrrrrrrrrrrRRRR!" See? I can even do the gears changing. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/emma_hack_1604348a.jpgEmma_Hack_1604348aEmma Hack's work... Byronic Man, sadly, not pictured.2013-05-02T15:51:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/24/march-caption-contest-gun-control-debate-edition/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/funny-big-gun.jpgfunny-big-gun2013-03-29T05:08:42+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/21/tremble-in-awe-at-the-mighty-power-of-baby-giggles/2013-04-07T14:23:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/19/we-are-better-than-this/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/tumblr_mju6kacirq1qe7dlao1_1280.jpgtumblr_mju6kaCiRQ1qe7dlao1_1280https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/253664_10151471088844350_1563233433_n.jpg253664_10151471088844350_1563233433_n2013-04-07T14:49:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/17/time-once-again-for-the-ruinin-o-the-festivities/2013-03-19T21:38:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/15/takin-out-the-trash-trivia-style/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/devo_-_oh_no_its_devo-front.jpgDevo_-_Oh_No_Its_Devo-frontDEEEEEEVOOOOOOO!!!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/beaker.jpgBeaker“Hey, Beeker,” I didn’t say. “Eyes on your own work or I’ll be blinding you with science.”https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/elephant-animals-5370280-2560-1920.jpgElephant-animals-5370280-2560-1920No ankles.2013-03-23T01:35:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/08/pay-no-attention-to-the-less-cool-guy-behind-the-curtain/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/1337279358_fonz.jpg1337279358_fonz2013-03-17T21:53:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/07/7-amazing-and-1-tragic-facts-about-sharks/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/beautiful-shark_99489-1440x900.jpgbeautiful-shark_99489-1440x900https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/sharks.jpgsharkshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/amazing-hammerhead-shark02.jpgamazing-hammerhead-shark022013-12-18T11:00:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/03/03/caption-contest-for-better-or-worse-or-underwater-edition/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/vintage-photo.jpgVintage-Photo2013-03-15T03:49:19+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/28/q-are-you-still-a-smart-ass-a-yes-yes-i-am/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/21ylsleknql-_sl500_aa300_.jpg21ylSleKnqL._SL500_AA300_I felt like a king...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/exploding_car475b9884-1ef2-49b3-898cc91da79ad0d1large.jpgexploding_car475b9884-1ef2-49b3-898cc91da79ad0d1largeSometimes on weekends I like to kick-back and make things explode with the power of my mind. Sigh. When did I get so vanilla?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/ferris-buellers-day-off-3.jpgferris-buellers-day-off-3Ah, memories...2013-03-10T18:10:26+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/26/all-thanks-being-equal/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/xtmrf7zxrq6fj0n1cympzmimo1_500.jpgXtMrF7ZxRq6fj0n1CYmPzMimo1_500"Alas, poor Yogi. I knew him. He was a bear of infinite pic-a-nic baskets."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images3.jpegimageshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/safe_image-php.jpegsafe_image.phphttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/julius-caesar.jpgJulius-Caesar(it's because the commoners lines aren't written in iambic pentameter, so they don't rhyme at all)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/300px-stonehenge2007_07_30.jpg300px-Stonehenge2007_07_302013-02-28T03:04:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/22/a-spot-of-t-and-that-stands-for-trouble/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images-3.jpegimages-3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images-2.jpegimages-2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images2.jpegimagesSon of Sam? He was a serial killer.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images-1.jpegimages-12013-02-25T23:00:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/25/continue-staying-tuned/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/img_0629.jpgIMG_06292013-02-26T10:37:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/20/part-2-a-bear-of-a-decision/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/4229795-koala-bear-sitting-on-eucalyptus-tree-australia.jpg4229795-koala-bear-sitting-on-eucalyptus-tree-australiahttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/koalaericveland1.jpgKoalaEricVelandhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/koalaericveland.jpgKoalaEricVelandhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/bilde.jpegbildeEvery day that guy tries tohttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/bottle_ullr.jpgbottle_ullrUllr: It's like being blasted in the face with a shotgun full of toothpaste. But in a strangely good way.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/displayimage-php.jpegdisplayimage-phpYahoo Serious? Anyone? "Young Einstein"?2013-02-23T08:38:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/18/max-and-the-lost-shakespeare-thank-you-note-part-1/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/airmail-manila-envelope-laptop-sleeve.jpgAirmail-Manila-Envelope-Laptop-Sleevehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/75276-gif.jpeg75276.gifWell, wouldn't you do whatever had to be done to find it?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/3652043559_2aed4a9ea7_z.jpg3652043559_2aed4a9ea7_z2013-02-21T18:14:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/17/the-return-of-maxine-and-bonkers/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/slide122.jpgSlide1Interpretation by artist Shelby Denham. Thanks, Shelby!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/slide121.jpgSlide1Artist's interpretations by Shelby Denham. Thanks, Shelby!2013-02-19T16:45:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/14/what-not-to-say-on-valentines-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/milakunismocaannualgalaartistmuseumnygpbfdxonhl1.jpgMila+Kunis+MOCA+Annual+Gala+Artist+Museum+nyGPbFDXONHl1Well, she would...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images1.jpegimagesYeah he's... he's not looking good.2013-02-22T17:28:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/12/3-films-that-are-better-if-they-take-place-in-the-protagonists-minds-spoiler-space/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/descent2.jpgdescent2The lesser known "sit in a pool of human remains and attack someone with a climbers' axe" stage of the grieving process.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/the-grey-05.jpgThe Grey 05Hey, remember how most of the preview was this part? Bet you didn't think it be literally the last few seconds of the movie...2013-02-15T01:45:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/12/3-movies-that-are-better-if-they-take-place-entirely-in-the-protagonists-minds/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/the-descent-1.jpgthe-descent-1A more light-hearted moment from the movie...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/35.jpg35That's Kristen Stewart as Jodie Foster's daughter. I know! Same expression!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/the-grey.jpgThe-Grey2013-02-14T03:59:20+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/07/this-valentines-day-fill-the-air-with-love-and-the-smell-of-wet-dog-and-the-sound-of-fire-engines-and/2013-02-12T05:02:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/10/would-a-blog-by-any-other-name/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/ngbbs44594dd56e302.jpgngbbs44594dd56e302"August 4: I ate a sandwich today and the bread was kinda dry but I ate it anyway. Comments?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/images.jpegimages2013-02-12T20:08:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/02/03/wait-we-hate-this-now-the-matrix/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/the-matrix.jpgthe matrixhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/19418_1214272811254_408_300.jpg19418_1214272811254_408_300If you tell me you don't like Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith, I know you're lying.2016-04-09T12:07:37+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/31/hey-steve-from-every-records-tells-a-story-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/images.jpegimagesI had to look them up...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/tumblr_m5qqyfiysz1qjyg70o1_500.jpgtumblr_m5qqyfiysZ1qjyg70o1_500Yeah, but the devil also has to include W.A.S.P. on his roster...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/mary_poppins3.jpegMary_Poppins3Pictured: London in the Swinging 60's.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cloak_1466279c.jpgcloak_1466279cNo word on whether Steve is, in fact, Harry Potter.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/funeral-burial.jpgfuneral-burial"Hey, I think your flower is dead! That's ironic, right? Right?"2013-02-11T17:29:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/27/lets-be-air-quotes-adult-about-this-shall-we/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/kid-in-suit.jpgkid-in-suit"Hi, I'm calling to discuss my home equity loan - which is a thing I apparently have and expected to understand."2013-01-30T23:20:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/24/please-hire-me-to-be-your-lawyer/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/sleeping-too-much.jpgWoman Sleeping PeacefullyThey weren't snoring? Well, you're no coroner! You reasonably thought they were already dead!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/6a010536b86d36970c01761778711e970c-800wi.jpg6a010536b86d36970c01761778711e970c-800wiBuh duh BWAAAA buh BWAMP. Buh duh BWAAA buh BWAMP! Buh duh bwah buh BWAH, buh bwah buh bwah...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/6134law_books.jpg6134law_booksI don't know. Dictionaries? Encyclopedias?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cheersdansonlong.jpgCheersDansonLongAh, a classic episode of "Will They v. Won't They."2013-10-29T14:45:20+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/21/life-the-yelp-reviews-2/2013-07-30T01:24:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/20/life-the-yelp-reviews/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/images.jpegimagesA must have. Not to be missed.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/visually-stunning-roses.jpgvisually-stunning-rosesSmelling this is generally recommended. Preferably while stopped.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/lighting-and-tornado-storm.jpglighting-and-tornado-stormVisually cool, yes. But they happen to good people, too. What up with that?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/wealth-creation.jpgWealth-CreationSure, the brochure implies this - but careful of a bait & switch2013-01-21T05:27:29+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/02/please-hire-me-to-write-your-sequel/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/the-avengers-after-credits-shawarma-scene.jpgThe-Avengers-After-Credits-Shawarma-SceneThe "shawarma" gag in Avengers really was pretty great.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/keira-knightley.jpgKeira KnightleyOh, right, like people want to see the relationship from the first film "develop." *snort* Right. Besides, we're going to want someone much younger. Wasn't Kiera Knightley in your first film? And she's got to be at least *shudder* 30 a this point. Yecch. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/21-jump-street-2012-e1340748778228.jpg21-Jump-Street-2012-e1340748778228Whaddya mean "There was a 21 Jump Street movie?" Chyeah, there was! And it just barely made enough money to - according to actuarial tables - suggest that a sequel would be economically viable! It's how creative ideas are BORN!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/indiana-jones-and-the-temple-of-doom-thumb-560xauto-244271.gifIndiana-Jones-and-the-Temple-of-Doom-thumb-560xauto-244271"No time for love, Dr. Jones" indeed! Ha ha ha! Oh, can you even imagine how bad Temple of Doom would have been without Short Round? Well, it was terrible anyways, but that would have left Kate Capshaw to do all the migraine-inducing shrieking on her own!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/shortround.jpgShortRoundhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/die-hard-5.jpgDie-HardHey, it's been 20+ years since John McClane's had a context or provocation for saying "Yippee Kay-yay, mother f***er," but has he let that stop him? No. No, he has not. 2013-01-21T05:12:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/20/should-you-vote-for-the-caption-contest-finalists-does-a-photographer-strip-in-the-woods/2013-01-28T01:22:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/17/a-qa-regarding-the-byronic-man-now-on-twitter/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/51666.jpg51666They say that after society crumbles, copies of Byronic Man posts will be like currency.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/chimp.jpgChimpArtist's Rendering: The Byronic Man tries to figure out Twitter.2013-02-18T03:50:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/14/missing-have-you-seen-this-handsome-man/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide2.jpgSlide2Ah, there's nothing like a hot cup of empty, in front of a fire that won't turn on so they'll add it in photoshop, on a May afternoon, is there?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide11.jpgSlide1Like the ski goggles? $600. Comes with GPS. Also, four $100 bills, I'd assume.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide3.jpgSlide3The family who looks nothing alike? The toboggan rides with Santa hats? Did I... did I dream that?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/slide1.jpgSlide12013-02-06T22:23:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/13/caption-contest-bad-dream-senior-pictures-edition/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/caption_contest-forest-photo.jpgcaption_contest-forest-photoPeople often wondered why there were so few photos of Ansel Adams… 2013-01-28T22:15:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/10/january-blues-got-you-down-then-you-should-ask-sexy-stalin/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/220px-d0b3d180d0b8d0b3d0bed180d0b8d0b9_d180d0b0d181d0bfd183d182d0b8d0bd_1914-1916b.jpg220px-Григорий_Распутин_(1914-1916)bGrigori, seriously, put the arm down. You smell like you've been poisoned, shot, stabbed, stuffed in a sack and drowned. 2013-03-27T22:18:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/25/variety-may-be-the-spice-of-life-but-spices-can-make-life-a-variable/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/466188486_d83638ab69.jpg466188486_d83638ab69Ever try to find spicy salsa in the store? You had to tunnel through the "medium," "mild," and "pussywillow" to find it, didn't you?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/5126212574_3d1b69a623.jpg5126212574_3d1b69a623"Safety Protocol Delta engaged. Prepare to open spice rack in 3... 2... 1..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/images1.jpegimagesHe's allowed to order, I believe, a "22."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/images.jpegimagesI believe he's allowed to order a "21."2014-04-07T19:45:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/17/happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy-happy/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/patientbear.pngPatientBearAnd Patient Bear. Of course.2013-01-05T22:35:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/16/get-back-up-on-that-pedestal-dammit/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/142040-tom-hanks.jpg142040-tom-hanksPleeeeease be as great as appear to be.2013-01-10T19:35:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/14/did-the-mayans-say-anything-about-paul-mccartney-singing-with-nirvana/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/macca-paul-mccartney-10675786-462-700.jpgMacca-paul-mccartney-10675786-462-700Seen here: Kurt Cobain when he collapsed on stage... no, wait, this is McCartney, isn't it... Ha ha! Man, I'm always getting those two mixed up...2013-02-08T17:38:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/08/youre-8-weeks-old-kiddo-time-to-learn-the-truth-of-the-world/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/img_0561.jpgIMG_0561KB, in a more innocent time. before she learned the harsh truths of the world...2013-01-05T22:33:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/19/the-hottest-gifts-for-2012/2013-01-05T22:32:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/21/holy-sheet-a-holiday-giveaway-the-winners/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sheet-entry-6-shesamaineiac.jpgsheet-entry-6-shesamaineiachttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/christmas-card-for-jules-and-bman.jpgchristmas-card-for-jules-and-bmanhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sheet-entry-pegoleg.jpgsheet-entry-pegoleghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/pillowcases-instagram.jpgpillowcases-instagramhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sheet-entry-5-catstache.jpgsheet-entry-5-catstachehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/seasons-sheetings-2012-final.pngseasons-sheetings-2012-final2013-01-05T22:30:29+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/20/holy-sheet-a-holiday-giveaway-the-entrants/2013-01-05T22:29:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/31/hey-remember-how-you-wanted-to-travel-more-in-2012-well-come-with-me-on-a-little-excursion/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/597010-shrinking_violet_commission_by_gb2k.jpg597010-shrinking_violet_commission_by_gb2kThis is what comes up when you do a search for "shrinking violet." Seriously, internet... you have problems.2013-01-05T22:28:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2013/01/03/viva-la-revolution-with-extra-dipping-sauce/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/homemade-pizza.pnghomemade-pizzaOh, thought you could just make a pizza at home, eh? Thought you'd be fine on your own? Well, you can salt burnt toppings and underdone crust with your tears. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/pizza-delivery-guy-01-af.jpgpizza-delivery-guy-01-afHere's your pizza ma'am. Cheese, olives AND COMPLIMENTARY MENTAL ENSLAVMENT.2013-01-13T15:24:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/05/standard-contracts-the-thin-triplicate-line-between-society-and-chaos/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/helping-others-daidaonline.jpghelping others-daidaonlineNo, don't thank me. Thank... The Rental Agreement.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/scarface-2.jpgscarface-2Say hello to my little 3-year lease!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/51n51e3mz2l-_sl500_aa300_.jpg51N51E3MZ2L._SL500_AA300_Hey, this place will be on TV! That's going to do wonders for how much can ask.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/8153wlafayette.jpg8153WLafayetteOh, sweetie, great job! I'll bet almost no light or air will get in at all!2015-04-18T02:01:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/17/this-is-just-to-say/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/p1010041.jpgp1010041And I love you, too... can I have another hamburger?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/carkey1.jpgskd182349sdcDid I say "very soon"? I meant "now." Now would be better.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/carkey.jpgskd182349sdcDid I say "very soon"? I meant "now." Now would be better.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/zzmatts-001.jpgzzMatts 001Oh, hey, is this your house? Crazy. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/level4labcdc.jpglevel4labcdcNah, it's cool. I'll just take them home tonight. It'll be fine. Who's going to just eat someone else's plums without asking, right?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/images1.jpegimagesYou ATE MY PLUMS??!! GRRRRAAAAHHHH!!! What kind of person - no, no, no, no, I want to know what kind of person eats someone else's FREAKING PLUMS??!!! 2013-01-05T18:16:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/22/and-if-theres-anything-ive-forgotten-i-apologize-for-that-too-and-for-forgetting-to-apologize-sorry/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/300px-chicago-fire1.jpg300px-Chicago-fire1Obviously, as awesome a cow as i would have been, there's only so much I could have done.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/mmmmult12.jpgMMMmult12You are very important and have a lovely symmetry. I was a fool to not see it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/needles_california_from_southwest_1.jpgNeedles_California_from_southwest_1As you can see, there are many, uh, lovely, things about Needles. Like, um... hey, look at that next apology!2015-04-06T19:23:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/11/the-glitz-and-glamor-of-winnemucca-at-night/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide15.jpgSlide15https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide14.jpgSlide14https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide13.jpgSlide13https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide12.jpgSlide12https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide11.jpgSlide11https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide10.jpgSlide10https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide09.jpgSlide09https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide08.jpgSlide08https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide07.jpgSlide07https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide06.jpgSlide062013-12-17T22:27:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/27/resolution-14-come-up-with-more-clever-blog-post-titles/2013-01-03T16:02:34+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/24/a-special-holiday-message-from-the-byronic-man/2013-01-03T05:47:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/10/a-sneak-preview-and-a-sneak-uh-re-view/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/slide2.jpgSlide22012-12-11T23:49:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/05/holy-sheet-a-holiday-giveaway/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/598555_10151568538663136_865717396_n.jpg598555_10151568538663136_865717396_nhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/61322_10151568332203136_1192508236_n.jpg61322_10151568332203136_1192508236_n2012-12-26T22:08:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/03/cheese-or-michael-keaton/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/998oos_michael_keaton_001.jpg998OOS_Michael_Keaton_001Perfect example: Out Of Sight. Brilliant script, great acting, amazing director... Keaton has a small part and the movie gets even better.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/cheese-fondue.jpgcheese-fonduePut a bunch of stuff on a stick and dunk it in cheese? It's a meal!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/michael-keaton-muchado45.jpgmichael-keaton--muchado45Shakespeare? BETTER.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/assorted-cheeses-300x250.jpgassorted-cheeses-300x250Cheese with cheese on top. Now that's smart thinking.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/beetlejuice2__span.jpgbeetlejuice2__spanGetting dumped by Beetlejuice? How great would that be?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/386411.jpg3864112012-12-06T05:17:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/12/02/the-vote-came-down-to-a-smorgasbord-of-bad-personal-habits/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/gonewiththewind21.jpggonewiththewind22012-12-05T19:12:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/30/still-thrilling-after-all-these-years/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/220px-michaeljacksonthrilleralbum.jpg220px-Michaeljacksonthrilleralbum2012-12-02T16:23:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/29/hey-emily-from-snotting-black-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/tina_fey-1-baby_mama.jpg30 ROCK -- Pictured: Tina Fey as Liz Lemon -- NBC Photo: Mary Ellen Mathews(Byronic Man Side-note: I love her. No, I don't mean I'm a fan of her work. I mean, I LOVE HER)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/aaronburr-sm.jpgaaronburr-smMore like "Aaron Jerk," amirite? Eh? Amirite?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/images1.jpegimagesWhat the...? I must have some kind of freak fingernail disorder. I just cut them, like, a month ago, and then need to be cut again!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/435247-dramaticmoustachephotoexpress-1347396391-503-640x480.jpg435247-Dramaticmoustachephotoexpress-1347396391-503-640x480Vat is zis 'Irony' oof which you speak?2012-12-10T15:38:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/26/how-to-avoid-getting-stressed-out-that-youre-going-to-totally-blow-it-again-this-holiday-season/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/5288928017_671f8a5999.jpg5288928017_671f8a5999Clearly, Christmas is on the brink of disappearing forever.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/vegan.jpgveganOh, look at the nice shirt Andrew wore, instead of a holiday sweater. Isn't that nice. Thanks for the reminder, Andrew...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/the-best-first-person-shooters.jpgthe-best-first-person-shootersIdeally a game where you shoot things.2012-12-03T15:52:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/25/the-voters-have-spoken-now-its-time-to-vote-again/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/45qiq-540x4041.jpeg45qiq-540x4042012-11-27T12:16:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/23/a-friendly-reminder-its-also-buy-nothing-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/532180_382579435158666_782925171_n.png532180_382579435158666_782925171_n2012-11-29T17:39:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/21/the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-black-friday-shoppers/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/emergency-3.jpgemergency-3Don't have an Air Raid Siren? Well, I know where you can get an AMAZING deal on one this Friday. And if you're one of the first people through the doors of Siren Emporium when they open Friday at 1:00am, you'll get $10 off! WOW!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/airbag_demo1.jpgairbag_demo1Air bags almost always break people's noses, and no one accuses them of being "irrational," or having "screwed up priorities," right?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/hippie.jpgHippieOoooh, look at me! I only buy things when I need them or want them! I hate freedom and happiness! 2012-11-26T13:10:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/19/for-this-i-am-thankfu-everyone-shut-up-im-trying-to-give-thanks/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/af4efa05-1d09-2e94-8f55a22b6cbfaaca.jpgaf4efa05-1d09-2e94-8f55a22b6cbfaacaWaldorf Salad: Tastes great AND makes for a soft landing!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/waffle-copy.pngwaffle-copySee, everyone likes waffles, right? It's... you know... a compliment! Waffles!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/heavenc1.jpgheavenc1Seriously, if you've never seen 1978's Heaven Can Wait...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/images.jpegimagesI am thankful for this knife, which apparently has a heart full of hate for meat.2012-11-26T00:32:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/18/me-sentence-you-to-no-cookies/2012-11-21T00:52:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/14/its-time-for-another-installment-of-ask-sexy-stalin/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/photo-on-2012-11-13-at-16-591.jpgPhoto on 2012-11-13 at 16.59So what WOULD Sexy Stalin do? He'd request himself a wristband post haste, and then send a picture of it to The Byronic Man, that's what.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/photo-on-2012-11-13-at-16-59.jpgPhoto on 2012-11-13 at 16.59They're like this... Only not backwards... Anyone know how to flip Photo Booth photos...?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/4838.jpg4838Eat this and love me, or else live the rest of your days in fear of my wrath!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/baby2843.jpgbaby2843"Hm? Huh? I don't understand what you're saying!" Psh. Don't believe her lies. This is the face of a calculating power-monger. 2013-07-28T22:23:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/16/my-steve-jobs-bio-pic-script-for-which-i-should-be-paid-millions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/cupholder_gray_small.jpgcupholder_gray_smallUmmmm....hmmmm... maybe... maybe if I staple gun it on?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/ar119998486803861.jpgar119998486803861Little Stevie Jobs' first attempt at the iPhonehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/yoda_ghost.jpgyoda_ghostYeah, like that. Only, you know, more stubble and turtlenecks. Less green skin and pointy ears.2012-11-18T22:22:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/06/and-mama-bear-said-this-sheriff-is-too-trigger-happy/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/900x900px-ll-bcac39b3_patient-bear.jpeg900x900px-LL-bcac39b3_Patient-Bearhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/grizzly-with-triplet-cubs_5291.jpgThe Bear Family Stand Up"But mom, I wanted to see her fly while she sings 'Defying Gravity'!" "Sorry, son. We'll have to listen to the cast-recording at home again."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/slide_230737_1059580_free.jpgslide_230737_1059580_freeYou don't see me hanging a sign on my den that says "Humantown" and then freaking out when you come in, do you? No.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/brown_bears-11.jpgbrown_bears-112012-11-15T17:15:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/12/casualty-of-war-a-short-biography-of-my-uncle-jerry/2012-11-23T13:35:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/10/please-hire-me-to-write-your-concession-speech/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/family-portrait.jpgfamily-portrait"Yeah, that's us! Me, and, uh, lil' buddy, and my daughter... um... Samuhuhmumuh... and, of course, the love of my life, ahem, uh, good ol' Mrs. Smiley-Smile."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/smokey-the-bear.jpgsmokey-the-bearRemember kids, bless America by putting out campfires completely!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/akin-has-month-to-rally-funds-for-mo-race-mc24fqi0-x-large.jpgAkin-has-month-to-rally-funds-for-Mo-race-MC24FQI0-x-largeTurns out women have a "mechanism" that makes it impossible for them to vote for a candidate in instances of legitimate moral revulsion.2012-11-14T00:11:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/07/a-selection-of-election-reflection/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/4e1c3__election2016.png4e1c3__election2016MY CANDIDATE (to be named later) BELIEVES IN FREEDOM AND THE FUTURE AND CHILDREN AND STRENGTH! YOUR CANDIDATE (to be named later) BELIEVES IN LAZINESS AND CORRUPTION AND UNFAIR TAXES AND HATES AMERICA.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/dd911b05-0b54-4d5d-a0c8-84c49a4ae8a7-460.jpegdd911b05-0b54-4d5d-a0c8-84c49a4ae8a7-460Okay, it's possible that referring to 47% of Americans as parasites wasn't my best move...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/2012finalelectoralmap110712.jpg2012finalelectoralmap110712But it LOOKS redder! Shouldn't elections be based on acreage? 2012-11-12T11:23:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/05/rise-of-the-planet-of-the-whales/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/whale-close-up.jpgWhale-close-upWow! He's so beautiful! And his rendition of "Old Man River" brought tears to my eyes!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/ernie-westle-breaching-orca-picture.jpgernie-westle-breaching-orca-picturehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/orca.jpgsexy, sexy orcaI'm assuming he's the lead singer because he's the sexy one.2012-11-15T09:20:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/04/get-top-notch-advice-and-win-stuff/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/wwssd1.jpgWWSSD*Disclaimer: you can't literally ask. This is only a picture.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/wwssd.jpgWWSSD?*Disclaimer: You can't actually ask - this is only a picture.2014-12-13T17:43:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/11/02/the-future-of-disney-owned-star-wars-revealed/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/ewoksbattleforendor-bookandrecord.jpgEwoksBattleForEndor-BookAndRecord"Battle For Endor"? Anyone remember--? No? Just me? "Battle For.." Okay.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/disney-princesses-wallpaper-disney-princess-6248012-1024-768.jpgDisney-Princesses-Wallpaper-disney-princess-6248012-1024-768Ah, the force is non-threatentingly lovely with this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/karaoke-articlelarge.jpgKARAOKE-articleLarge"Bum-BUM! Bum-bum-bum-BUUUUUUMMM-buuummm!! Bum-bum-bum-BUUUUMMM-buuuuummm...!"2012-11-23T14:04:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/31/your-monster-survival-essentials/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/500full.jpg500fullNow do you recognize me? Yeah, ha ha. Happens all the time, don't sweat it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/yoda_s_hut02.jpgyoda_s_hut02"No more training do you require." "Then I AM a Jedi." "No. One things remains. Vader. You must face Vader." "What?! God damn it. This is a bigger hassle than my masters thesis."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/lukeskywalkerrotjv2wallpaper-459x345.jpgLukeSkywalkerROTJV2Wallpaper-459x345https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/creature1.jpgcreatureGrrrr! I am drawn to you, and other attractive women in bathing suits, despite our clearly being different species! Grrr! I may have unresolved self-esteem issues! Grrr! I think I don't deserve love from women of my own kind!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/mothra-9.jpgmothra-9You know Mothra was the idea of the studio chief. “Our next movie monster will be a GIANT MOTH!” “Did he just say ‘giant moth’?” “Yup.” “Uh, great idea, boss! Very scary!”2012-11-02T08:10:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/30/know-your-movie-monsters-for-safetys-sake/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/hannibal-lecter1.jpghopkinshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/the-host-2006.jpeg2066https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/2452782-pinhead.jpgHELLRAISER, https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/top-25-horror-movies-of-all-time-20101013024653405.jpgtop-25-horror-movies-of-all-time-20101013024653405https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/tumblr_m4x3ese7io1rsxi6so1_1280.jpgtumblr_m4x3esE7iO1rsxi6so1_1280https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/2855410511_the_grudge_image_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg2855410511https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/936full-ghidorah-the-three-headed-monster-ghidrah-the-three-headed-monster-screenshot.jpg936fullhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/the-shining-jack-in-maze.jpgthe-shininghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/5931563_std.jpg5931563_stdhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/michael-myers-01-630-75.jpghalloween3. 2012-11-02T03:06:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/28/review-cloud-atlas-a-bet-on-artistic-ambition-that-pays-off/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/628x471-1.jpgTom Hanks and Halle Berryhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/lat-cindycloud_mbg0lpp720121010135928.jpegHalle Berry and Hugo Weaving in the Luisa Rey segment.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/1351175186-cloud-atlas-260712-20.jpg1351175186-cloud-atlas-260712-20https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/flight_hanks.pngflight_hanksTom Hanks, here as the malevolent Dr. Henry Goose.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/cloud-atlas-featurette1.jpgCloud-Atlas-Featurettehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/cloud-atlas-featurette.jpgCloud-Atlas-FeaturetteDoona Bae as Sonmi2012-11-03T10:18:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/25/turns-out-babies-are-cute-who-knew/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/rtr21-instruction-manual-p2.jpgRTR21 instruction manual P2How to do a swaddle wrap.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/p1010038.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAShe takes after her old man!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/draft_lens15494671module133919571photo_1289951636jack-in-the-box.jpgdraft_lens15494671module133919571photo_1289951636Jack-in-the-boxNot how a c-section works.2012-11-12T11:41:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/23/particle-physics-more-exciting-than-indiana-jones-in-a-rodeo-on-a-volcano/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/altea_hills_sunset_320x240jpg.jpgaltea_hills_sunset_320x240jpg"Golly, Dr. Skeinman. Will we ever see it again?" "I don't know, Dr. McCall. I just don't know..."2013-12-16T21:38:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/11/you-work-with-atoms-you-put-your-life-on-the-line-every-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/39786115_bottle2031.jpg39786115_bottle203You think I'm afraid to cut an atom? Huh?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/altea_hills_sunset_320x240jpg.jpgMINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA"Will we ever see it again?" "I don't know, Dr. McCall. I just don't know."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/atom.jpgatomWhat makes hydrogen atoms so funny? I don't know, maybe it's that deadpan expression of theirs.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/39786115_bottle203.jpg39786115_bottle203You think I'm afraid to cut an atom? Huh?2012-10-23T03:59:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/21/the-greatest-getting-to-know-you-question-of-all-time-actual-results-may-be-disastrous/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/bruce-springsteen-e-street.jpegBruce.Springsteen-E.Street"And The E Street Band?" "Hate them. Only Springsteen himself."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/flock-of-seagulls-calendar_.jpgFlock-of-Seagulls-CALENDAR_Mike Score was the singer/songwriter for the band. The guy with the hair. See. that's why he'd want to see my band..https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/166-x600-festguide-flockseagull.jpg166.x600.festguide.flockSeagullMike Score was the singer/songwriter for the band. The guy with the hair. See. that's why he'd want to see my band...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/x_the_band_at_bowery_ballroom_may2009.jpgx_the_band_at_bowery_ballroom_may2009X. They're great. Start with the album Los Angeles and go from there.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/starbucks_muffin_by_miasalvatore-d2xp1ne.jpgstarbucks_muffin_by_miasalvatore-d2xp1neIf they keep refusing, you're supposed to start screaming "Give me my muffin! Give me my muffin! Give me my muffin!" over and over.2012-11-23T14:46:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/11/12/mike-score-was-the-singersongwriter-for-a-flock-of-seagulls/2012-10-20T19:19:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/18/press-conference-excerpt-from-when-i-am-president-1/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/soaring-eagle-11.jpgSoaring-Eagle-1Other countries work for the calendar, we make it... really? We're going with a soaring eagle? Seems kind of... you know... whatever, fine. Eagle. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/soaring-eagle-1.jpgSoaring-Eagle-1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/halloween_neighborhood_1280x8503.jpgHalloween_Neighborhood_1280x850The Department of Homeland Awesomeness has rated your neighborhood's spookiness level as "Acceptable." You may consider adding some fog next year.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/halloween_neighborhood_1280x8502.jpgHalloween_Neighborhood_1280x850https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/halloween_neighborhood_1280x8501.jpgHalloween_Neighborhood_1280x850https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/halloween_neighborhood_1280x850.jpgHalloween_Neighborhood_1280x850https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/animated_cute_dancing_monsters_mummy_dracula_frankenstein_wolfman-1.gifAnimated_Cute_Dancing_Monsters_Mummy_Dracula_Frankenstein_Wolfman-1This nonsense will get you deported.2012-10-22T00:41:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/15/oh-a-yard-sale-sure-thats-just-what-the-government-wants-you-to-think/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/lee-harvey-oswald1.jpglee-harvey-oswaldAt least we can all agree on something, right? Not a shadow of mystery there.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/lee-harvey-oswald.jpglee-harvey-oswaldI mean, at least we can all agree on something, right?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/holden_leon.jpgholden_leonNext question, Leon. You're at a yard sale, looking at an interestingly-shaped bottle...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/chris-meloni-on-svu.jpgchris-meloni-on-svuNot for thumping.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/il_fullxfull-234904456.jpgil_fullxfull.234904456That's right, a quarter. Think I'm bluffing? Try me.2012-10-20T01:13:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/12/we-interrupt-our-regularly-scheduled-programming/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/zoe-034.jpgZoe 0342012-11-12T01:13:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/09/hurling-towards-stardom/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/kajagoogoo.jpgkajagoogoo80's pop band Kajagoogoo never threw up on stage. And where are they now? Exactly. Proof positive.2012-10-22T14:51:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/07/lets-get-real-tv-real/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/realitytv_600x320.jpgRealityTV_600x3202012-10-10T22:43:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/04/tvs-advice-for-the-expectant-father/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/drinking-water-460_979746c.jpgdrinking-water-460_979746cAnd tell him you're in labor.... nnnnnnn... nnnnnnow.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/ladybug-feeding-on-aphids.jpgladybug-feeding-on-aphids"Ayuh. See? Cervixes. You've got to spray before they efface or you'll never get 'em all."2012-10-08T18:54:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/10/02/please-hire-you-to-be-the-byronic-man/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/bear-high-five.jpgbear-high-fiveForest Rangers and Ursinologists strongly recommend not leaving a bear hanging. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/hannibal20lecter1.jpghannibal20lecter1Oh, uh... that's not exactly what I meant by "half face" but... um... heh... good effort and, um... thanks for applying position's filled okay bye!2012-10-24T17:48:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/30/they-seem-to-emphasize-the-tv-the-reality-not-so-much/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/blog_sales.jpgSeminarAnd that's why my show, "Extreme TV Show Pitching" would be a sure-fire hit!2012-10-07T13:37:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/28/when-birthing-class-breaks-into-rival-factions-you-know-things-have-gotten-weird/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/pessimism-vs-optimism.jpgPessimism-vs.-optimismNo, no, go on. It's fascinating how much your life sucks.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/100810_maru_in_box_t.jpg100810_maru_in_box_t"...and that's the miracle of childbirth."2012-10-08T14:38:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/24/behold-we-shall-call-these-new-leg-coverings-jeans/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/220px-pony_express_crop.jpg220px-Pony_express_cropBy gar, I'd better get this post to the pony express so it can get delivered to WordPress by tomorry!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/18k-gold-jeans1.jpg18k-gold-jeans1Oh. Oh, they're made out of gold? Oh, well, sure then, $1200 sounds reasonable...2012-09-29T01:13:48+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/23/this-is-why-fluffy-bearcuddle-cat-would-be-such-good-candidates-they-cant-talk/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/mitt-romney-241055-2-402.jpgMitt-Romney-241055-2-4022012-09-30T19:02:11+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/19/the-romney-campaign-defying-expectations/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/uco-veterans-day.jpgUCO-Veterans-DayThey'll EXPECT us to thank them for a lifetime of service... but imagine their surprise when we just shout, "GET A JOB, FREELOADER!" at them!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/the_lord_of_the_rings_the_fellowship_of_the_ring_004.jpgthe_lord_of_the_rings_the_fellowship_of_the_ring_004Seen here: Palestinians one their way to market, as envisioned by RomneyWorld.2012-09-21T21:25:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/17/how-really-to-fold-a-fitted-sheet/2012-09-26T02:23:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/16/when-kitty-met-bear/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/dapd_017ae4003283f4614ce51ad11a94.jpgBerlins aelteste Baerin tothttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/dapd_017ae4004c4c3d2b4ce51aa61a8c.jpgBerlins aelteste Baerin tothttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/bear-cat1.jpgbear-cat12012-09-18T21:09:10+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/14/i-reject-your-appeal-of-my-rejection-of-your-uh-rejection-um-where-was-i/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/bilde.jpegbildeThe governor of Oregon, seen here clearly not executing anyone.2012-09-18T11:38:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/12/the-most-contentious-sequels-of-all-time/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/terminator16.jpgterminator16"The terminator has been sent back through time to kill you, and I was sent to protect you. We smashed the time-displacement equipment, so no one goes home, no one else comes through. It's just him... and me... unless, of course, they also sent several other terminators and protectors through to other times and thought it'd be funny to not tell me.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/thematrixreloaded_4.jpgTheMatrixReloaded_4https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/terminator2thumbsup.jpgterminator2thumbsupHey, look at that, he's giving a thumbs-up as he melts in molten steel. How sweet. And that's why I came to see Terminator 2... the sweetness.2012-09-15T11:39:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/10/please-hire-me-to-be-your-presidential-candidate/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/600_campaigna.jpg600_campaignAHm, this unflattering photo with a vague, inflammatory, out-of-context accusation makes an interesting point, though...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/screen-capture-113.pngscreen-capture-113And lemonade stands? Should be run like car washes.2012-09-17T05:10:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/09/vote-bear-and-cat-in-2012/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/bearcatbct_450x300.jpgbearcatBCT_450x300Spooky: Are you sure this is hormone free? Midnight: Why? Do I look different? Spooky: Maybe. 2012-09-11T21:41:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/06/gregor-samsa-awoke-from-a-night-of-troubled-dreams-to-discover-that-his-insurance-company-had-put-him-on-hold-again/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/l.jpglTch. It's waaaay over there! If only there were some sort of device to help me make the long trek, or a place to rest en route...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/rube-goldberg.jpgrube-goldberghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/mousetrap-thumb-550xauto-1449.jpgMousetrap-thumb-550xauto-1449The business model for our insurance company. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/dark_clouds-t2.jpgdark_clouds-t2FOOLISH MORTALS, FOREVER ATTEMPTING TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR INSURANCE COMPANIES! HA HA HAAAAA!!!2012-09-19T20:54:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/04/welcome-back-students/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/article-new-ehow-images-a08-89-cr-start-costofliving-allowance-800x800.jpgarticle-new-ehow-images-a08-89-cr-start-costofliving-allowance-800x800Also, please refer to them as "sodas" or "pops." You see, kids, COLA also stands for "Cost Of Living Allowance," something you might not want to bring up around the teachers who are - as we mentioned - surprisingly tense.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/220px-havaianas.jpg220px-HavaianasA reminder that wearing flip-flops to school is considered "gang-related paraphernalia" - because of that surfer gang in, like, Guam was it? - and is grounds for expulsion.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/woodshop.jpgwoodshopMusic classes will be combined with Woodshop, in an effort to drown out the sound of adolescent musicianship. (Note: Patty, find a better way to say this before you send this out)2012-09-07T21:30:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/03/29/the-correct-answer-is-apparently-unwaxed-unless-your-teeth-are-close-together/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/6a00d8341bfda753ef00e54f1534f18833-640wi.jpgCavity CreepsDefending my own personal Crestopolis against Cavity Creeps, foreign and domestic.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/january-24-086.jpgBale of Floss"You ordered the dental floss?"2012-09-03T14:53:20+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/14/ask-sexy-stalin/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/images2.jpegimagesShooting each other for showing a hint of cowardice. It's what comrades do.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ranger_uranium_mine.jpgRanger_Uranium_MineStrangely, people keep getting sick and, well, mutating, which means Now Hiring!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/tumblr_ktijjnzccf1qa2j7mo1_500.jpgtumblr_ktijjnzcCf1qa2j7mo1_500When Joseph Stalin looked like this, on the other hand...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/images1.jpegimagesDon't seek relationship advice from this man2012-09-03T14:49:11+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/28/ask-sexy-stalin-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/yuri_gagarin_nasa.jpgYuri_Gagarin_(NASA)And tell, me: what does this "American Captain" have that Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin does not have?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/tumblr_ktijjnzccf1qa2j7mo1_500.jpgtumblr_ktijjnzccf1qa2j7mo1_500So sexy. So suave. So fasc-tastic.2013-03-13T20:30:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/21/part-2-the-curry-of-wisdom/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/lawn-gnomes.jpgTrpaslicihttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/caves_carlsbad_6sfw.jpgcaves_carlsbad_6sfwhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/2202074439_1bd4a2c14e.jpg2202074439_1bd4a2c14e2013-02-17T17:25:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/22/the-smell-of-danger/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/broken_toilet2.jpgbroken_toilet2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/image_gallery.jpegimage_galleryhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/m-indian-corn-on-the-cob_7212.jpgm-indian-corn-on-the-cob_72122013-02-17T21:10:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/23/hidden-where-none-dare-venture/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/t4-mp.jpgT4-MPhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/caves_carlsbad_6sfw1.jpgcaves_carlsbad_6sfwhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/flying_toilet_paper_____by_hell_o_bedjo.jpgflying_Toilet_paper_____by_hell_o_bedjohttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/45880489924414349_gnj89bch_b.jpg45880489924414349_gNj89bCH_bAnyone? The old commercial? Anyone?2013-02-17T17:48:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/24/death-holds-a-staring-contest/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/phpthumb_generated_thumbnailjpg1.jpegphpThumb_generated_thumbnailjpghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/phpthumb_generated_thumbnailjpg.jpegphpThumb_generated_thumbnailjpghttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/pie-boxes-regular.jpgpie-boxes-regularhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/benxi-water-cave2.jpgbenxi water cave2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/manatee.jpgmanatee2013-02-17T18:16:39+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/09/01/the-worst-sequels-of-all-time-ii-sequel-harder/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/dirtydancing460.jpgDirtyDancing460https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/highlander-2.jpgHighlander-2Well, yes, I know I'm contractually obligated to appear in the sequel... but I was beheaded in the first film so I assumed... that is... wait, is that an alien?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/thehangover2_big.jpgthehangover2_bigOh! Something happend to Ed Helms face, like in the first film, only it's bigger! Hilarious! And instead of a baby, it's a monkey! Genius!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/welcome-to-nilbog.jpgwelcome-to-nilbogIt's set in the town of Nilbog and at one point... wait a minute... "NILBOG" IS "GOBLIN" SPELLED BACKWARDS!!2012-09-08T17:09:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/31/the-worst-sequels-of-all-time/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/the_giggler.jpgThe_gigglerThe Giggler, seen here shortly before he steals Charles Bronson's camera - the camera Bronson brought expressly for the purpose of tempting The Giggler to steal it, so he could shoot him in the back. We had some strange ideas about justice in the 80's...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/annoying_kids_8.jpgannoying_kids_8THAT'S what the original film was missing! An adorable little kid blues brother! (Oh, and John Goodman? You're better than this.)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/10102200.jpg10102200And Marion, I still adore you. You can be my God damn partner any time.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/willie-short-round.jpgwillie-short-roundShort Round and "Willie" Scott, in a typically understated moment.2012-09-05T00:47:05+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/26/housekeeping-and-interviews/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/1.jpeg1"Beep-boop! There's a divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will. Beep-boop!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/stalin_1902_small_young_stalin-s500x672-1655-580.jpgstalin_1902_small_Young_Stalin-s500x672-1655-580Handy tip: when you buy your scarves in bulk you can really save!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/neil-armstrong-008.jpgNeil Armstrong2012-08-30T11:04:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/25/byronic-man-goes-on-the-virtual-road/2012-09-06T02:25:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/19/putting-you-in-the-byronic-man/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/cave_of_time.jpgCave_of_timeRemember how you'd "turn to page 43" and it'd only be a paragraph, which means you'd die, so you'd flip back real quick because "I didn't start reading, so it doesn't count!" Good times.2012-08-25T07:54:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/18/hold-on-to-your-pork-pie-hats-and-ironic-tattoos-things-are-getting-out-of-control/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/6810722192_cbbef318d3_o.jpg6810722192_cbbef318d3_oYou know, historians point to the arrival of custom PBR holders for retro bikes as the moment Athens began to decline.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/neapolitan-ice-cream-origin-and-recipe-sources-4.jpgneapolitan-ice-cream-origin-and-recipe-sources-4NO, not that! I meant... ooh, that looks really good. What was I accusing you of...?2012-08-27T22:17:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/15/the-greatest-movie-sequels-of-all-time/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/before_sunset2.jpgbefore_sunset2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/large_toy_story_2_blu-ray4.jpglarge_toy_story_2_blu-ray42012-08-18T21:48:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/16/the-greatest-sequels-of-all-time-2-the-sequeling/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/thegf2-michael-fredo-fight.pngthegf2-michael-fredo-fightFun fact: in order to keep this moment secret, Coppola had Michael say the line, "I know it was you, Fredo. I know you killed Luke's father."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/empire-strikes-back-luke-vader.jpgempire-strikes-back-luke-vaderFun fact: In order to keep the big twist a secret, while shooting this scene, after Luke says he knows Vader killed his father, George Lucas had Vader say the line, "No Luke, Obi-Wan killed your father."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/gremlins_2_the_new_batch-3.jpgGREMLINS_2_THE_NEW_BATCH-3Gizmo when he - literally - goes Rambo in the sequel. "What happened to him?" "I guess they just pushed him too far."2012-09-03T15:28:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/09/hey-renee-from-teacher-twits-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/shootout-near-zihuatanejo.jpgshootout-near-ZihuatanejoOh, I don't know - the tree there behind the police and military vehicles are lovely.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/wonderwoman1.jpgwonderwoman1Shoes like this? (figuratively speaking... or literally, whatever your bag is)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/phptvepo3pm.jpgphptVepO3PMShe's quite the introvert.2012-08-30T03:39:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/12/its-the-weekly-question-of-the-week-in-space/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/cheesy2.jpgcheesy2"Get thee to a space nunnery, Ophelia. Woulds't thou be a breeder of space sinners?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/khan-star-trek-2.jpgkhan-star-trek-2Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan had a re-working of Moby Dick in it. Also it had Ricardo Montalban being 10-pounds of bad-ass in a 5-pound bag.2013-04-28T09:43:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/11/and-see-this-one-get-it-what-no-i-will-order-when-you-laugh-with-childlike-delight/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/starbucks-iced-constantine-coffee.jpgStarbucks Iced Constantine Coffee"What IS IT with you imbeciles? Can't you read the Barnes & Noble Cafe sign - where is it? Oh here it is under these Starbuck specialty drinks..."2012-08-14T01:11:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/07/post-sneak-peek-stress-disorder/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/xlarge.jpgxlargeIf I'm reading your body language correctly, and I think that I am, you're about to suggest that that was no ordinary fight we witnessed through the windows the other night and that someone would have said something about these Missing posters if she was just away at her mothers and that we have to do something. Is that what your expression means?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/drill-sergeant.jpgdrill-sergeant"Run the lines again! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/patient-bear.jpgpatient-bearPatient Bear will wait for you to ask why he's been feeling so freaked out.2012-08-11T18:08:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/05/what-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-creepy-smoking-kid/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/00021342.jpg00021342"He just showed up in the coop last night, and insists we call him colonel. I don't trust him."2013-07-28T16:59:00+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/04/please-enjoy-this-next-scene-but-no-peeking/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/dd-quarter.jpgDD-quarterHey! That guy dropped a quarter! That counts as a donation! Grab it!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/lifeboat.jpglifeboatDon't be a spellbound psycho, Marnie! Row that lifeboat in a north by northwest direction, with the current. I confess, maybe I'm the man who knew too much, but I think that rowing against the current is for the birds! 2012-08-06T23:02:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/08/01/sometimes-the-best-you-can-do-is-just-get-out-of-the-way/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/mitt-romney-in-downing-st-011.jpgMitt Romney in Downing Street2012-08-07T20:40:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/30/last-stand/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/p1010008.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHere's the second, taken about 12 seconds later. She's actually a really great photographer. I call this one "Don't step here. You'll go through the stage like it's a gallows."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/p1010009.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI was nervous. My wife, on my instructions to "take lots of pictures," was so nervous she took one photo of me checking the mic. You'll have to trust me that that's me.2013-01-11T01:08:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/29/tsk-this-puzzle-is-too-puzzling/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/wheres-waldo-in-hollywood-1.pngWheres-Waldo-In-Hollywood-1Mmmmmm... there he is! Good work everybody. Miller time.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/pr_140282.jpgPR_140282GET THAT OUT OF THIS HOUSE. OUT! OUT!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/y05364.jpgy05364There you go. Lots of patterns and colors. Not much plain space. Let's puzzle it up! 2012-08-07T21:00:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/28/spotting-trains-with-olympic-slumdogs/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/earth-map.jpgearth-mapJeez, look at all those places that aren't The United States. I wonder if anything ever happens there? https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/460x.jpg460xMan, we could really use an army of Mary Poppins' about now.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/77-london-bombings-no-30-006.jpg77-London-bombings-No-30--006July 7, 2005, the day the terrible bombings in London reminded the British how awful the attacks of September 11, 2001 were.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/rowan-atkinson-mr-bean-at-london-2012-olympic-opening-ceremony.jpgrowan-atkinson-mr.-bean-at-london-2012-olympic-opening-ceremonyThis man is funny.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/elevator.jpgelevatorSay, I wonder how many people took the "lift" to the upper levels of the stadium? 2012-08-08T06:28:31+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/26/putting-the-land-back-in-greenland-possibly-also-the-green-im-not-sure/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/010-rex_higgs_boson_1065378n.jpg010-rex_higgs_boson_1065378nYou see, the Higgs-Boson particle, or "God particle" as it's being called, was discovered in Switzerland, which is like Greenland in that it's got snow and ends in "land." If this particle is truly God-like, it could easily get rid of some snow in 4 days, especially if we've angered it by disturbing its slumber. Perhaps they should consider sacrifice? I'm just being logical.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/how-to-make-venison-stew.jpghow-to-make-venison-stewSuaasat. It's a soup. It's made with potatoes, onion, and then your choice of reindeer, seal, whale, or sea-birds. Hm? No, I didn't make it up!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/aleqm5inot6nfjfd1jkxhekt-ubpfdw8wq.jpegALeqM5iNot6nFjFd1Jkxhekt-ubpfdw8wQScan from July 8, on left. 4 days later on the right. Everyone focuses on the bad, but do you notice what a slimming effect the snow melt has? Isn't that nice?2012-07-29T20:14:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/23/running-out-of-alternatives/2012-07-26T21:57:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/24/gasoline-laws-explained/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/truck11-1.jpgtruck11-1"While I get the windows here, tell me about these feelings inferiority you experienced in middle school."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/280px-reva_charging.jpg280px-Reva_charging"LET'S SEE... NOPE, STILL USING NO FOSSIL FUEL. PEW! WHAT'S THAT STINK? OH, SOMEONE PUTTING FILTHY, EARTH-KILLING GAS IN THEIR CAR. WELL, IT'S NOT ME."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/bucket.jpgbucketSir? Is that a government approved bucket? I'm not having on my record that I used an unregistered bucket.2012-07-28T05:32:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/22/putting-you-you-you-in-the-action-action-action/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/kung-fu.jpgkung-fuHa-ha! Your featured-blogger-crane-kick is no match for my freshly-pressed-dragonfly-punches! Ha-ha!2012-08-03T08:42:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/21/freedom-fighter-leads-to-voting-voting-leads-to-not-having-to-water-tomato-plants/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/killer-tomato.pngkiller-tomatohttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/world-cantantes-unidos21.jpgworld-cantantes-unidos212012-07-23T14:37:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/19/second-byronic-husband-chipmunks-uh-sorry-wrong-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/dscn2022-492x369.jpgDSCN2022-492x369Or is that just me?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/balki.jpgbalkiI mean, Bronson Pinchot, right? That's pretty weird. Got to mean something, right?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/slide11.jpgSlide1Only their mothers can tell them apart.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/534768_3908042612841_1735969308_n1.jpg534768_3908042612841_1735969308_nBy Erik Larsen, at Image Comics, San Francisco.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/534768_3908042612841_1735969308_n.jpg534768_3908042612841_1735969308_nhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/pug_with_pug_slippers.jpgpug_with_pug_slippers2012-08-14T19:14:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/17/rage-rage-against-the-dying-of-the-dark/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/p1010036.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYes, it's a little bird giving another bird a flower. Yes, the other little bird has a little heart. It's a metaphor. A metaphor for... um... rampant corporate corruption?2012-08-01T18:21:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/16/the-vision-of-education-its-a-no-brainer/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/santa-claus-9.jpgsanta-claus-9You saw him at the mall, didn't you? And downtown? And on TV? How much "proof" do you need, Professor Thinkypants?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/huck-finn-kemble-31c.jpghuck-finn-kemble-31c"I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself: 'I should just do as I's told.' And I turned Jim in, and went back home and apologized to Pa."2012-07-29T14:28:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/14/everybody-stay-cool-dont-look-just-act-like-nothings-happening-and-vote/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/hidingart01.jpghidingart01I've become a whisper. A ghost in the wind. A flicker of motion in the corner of your eye.2012-07-17T10:22:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/15/save-the-byronic-man/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/6590347855_102338547b_n.jpg6590347855_102338547b_nIt's like a prison. A prison of hazelnut trees with a gentle breeze blowing through them. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/marcus_aurelius.jpgmarcus_aureliusYou know, that Marcus Aurelius joke is really not too shabby. Definitely worth the google search to get.2012-07-23T01:27:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/10/well-return-to-your-emergency-after-these-important-messages-from-our-sponsors/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/easy-a-emma-stone-20043466-1280-6881.jpgEasy-A-emma-stone-20043466-1280-688What?! But Channing Tatum drives her crazy with his down-home, small-town ways! There's no WAY this driven city girl will fall for him!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/easy-a-emma-stone-20043466-1280-688.jpgEasy-A-emma-stone-20043466-1280-688What?! But Channing Tatum drives her crazy with his down-home, small-town ways! There's no WAY this driven city girl will fall for him!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/costco-wholesale-location.jpgCostco-Wholesale-LocationRemember: you save more when you have emergencies in bulk! Now, where can we send your 15 ambulances?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/bayer_aspirin_2.jpgbayer_aspirin_2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ambulance-1.jpgambulance (1)Ma'am? Emergency crews are en route as we speak, bringing you the whole range of delicious Mountain Dew products. Do the Dew.2012-07-12T21:07:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/09/2849/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/love_courtney.jpglove_courtneyHey, Courtney! Hi! Um, did you know you and I were born in the same hospital, too? True story! Yep. Why, I bet we have all kinds of calm, rational things to talk about in a public setting.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/images.jpegimagesYeah, yeah, happy birthday, kid. Everyone give me 3 dollars. What? You sang my song - everyone who sang owes me 3 bucks or my lawyers will be on you like varnish.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/happybirthdaysong2.jpgHappyBirthdaySong2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/implosion.jpgimplosion"What happened?!" "I don't know! He was just laughing at a joke he made to his own question in his own interview with himself and, and... the room just collapsed in on itself!"2012-07-27T13:11:40+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/31/application-for-employment-psychological-profile/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/kgrhqnhse4vsvdspbopkqsvbwq0_351.jpg$(KGrHqN,!hsE4v,sVDspBOPKqSVBwQ~~0_35Walker, right, seen here on the cover of the first season of That's My Mama.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/puppies-humane-society11.jpgpuppies-humane-society1Hey, sometimes it's a "burn down a human society" world out there, sport.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/puppies-humane-society1.jpgpuppies-humane-society1Look, sometimes it's a "burn down a humane society" kind of world out there.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/kgrhqnhse4vsvdspbopkqsvbwq0_35.jpg$(KGrHqN,!hsE4v,sVDspBOPKqSVBwQ~~0_35Walker, seen here on the right hand side of the cover for the first season of That's My Mama.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/slideshow_playground.gifSlideshow_PlaygroundOkay, and what if he WAS burying toxic waste under schoolyards. How about then? Hypothetically, of course. Heh.2012-07-09T05:21:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/05/you-say-its-your-birthday-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-its-whose-birthday-too/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/happy-birthday-cake-3.jpghappy-birthday-cake-3"Haaappy birthdaaay, tooo -- No, no, no! I'll cut the cake! Really! You, just sit there and relax, birthday boy! Ha ha ha! Everybody's relaxed."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/600full-tom-hanks.jpg600full-tom-hanksLook how nice he is. Look! NO, DON'T LOOK OVER AT THEM! I SAID LOOK AT HANKS!! 2012-07-09T05:02:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/08/can-olympic-blogging-be-far-behind/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/stark01a_dam.jpgSTARK01A_damWhat? It's an obstacle. I don't know - figure it out!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sharks.jpgsharksGentlemen on your mark... set...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/hurdles.jpghurdlesNamed for the terrible battle that took place in the strangely-shaped foothills of Hurdlesberg.2013-07-28T22:55:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/07/why-im-whats-wrong-with-america/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/titandrac.jpgTitandracI can't believe I let you draw me naked!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/slide1.jpgSlide1I can't believe I let him draw me naked!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/preview.jpegpreviewI have meddled in the realm of the Gods!! Oh, what have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE??!!2012-07-09T15:50:48+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/05/hey-spilled-ink-guy-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/080907-kojak-bcol-grid-6x2.jpg080907-Kojak-bcol.grid-6x2Better believe it, baby.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/170px-abraham_lincoln_by_alexander_helser_1860-crop.jpg170px-Abraham_Lincoln_by_Alexander_Helser,_1860-cropThey dug him or his honesty; they dug him for his rail-splitting; but mostly, they dug him because he could chug a beer and belch the alphabet.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/hopper-nighthawks.jpghopper.nighthawksYes, you may do that instead.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/big-lebowski.jpgbig-lebowskiA dude? Or "the" dude?2012-07-17T14:26:01+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/03/independence-as-choice/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/preliminarytreatyofparispainting.jpgPreliminaryTreatyOfParisPaintingOh, basically it just says, "Thanks for making it official, but we've already moved on."2012-07-07T13:39:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/02/freedom-let-that-s-ring/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/house_fire.jpghouse_fireYou KNOW it's their favorite holiday. Getting to see all the people, trying to track down missing pets...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/brush-fire.jpgbrush-fire"My country 'tis of thee...!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/img_9766.jpgIMG_9766My country 'tis of thee...!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/traffic.jpgtrafficSometimes we all need a little roman candle, and a little screamed obscenity to remind us what's really important.2012-07-07T02:34:34+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/01/maybe-there-is-such-a-thing-as-too-safe/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/1001-7086421.jpg1001-708642Photographer: "Hang on a second. Those swim caps look ridiculous."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/1001-708642.jpg1001-7086422012-07-07T20:27:34+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/30/ive-got-one-word-for-you-hollywood-dragons/2012-07-02T09:35:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/29/dispatches-from-the-great-rainy-north/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/081015-pawnshop-hmed-8a-grid-6x2.jpg081015-pawnshop-hmed-8a.grid-6x2"Oh. Hello, Bernard. Um... how about that economy, eh? Ha ha. Well, our fees are due at the tanning salon, so I figured I'd sell grandmas earrings."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/old-man-and-the-sea.jpg#86 - fish - The Old Man and the Sea"All my life the early sun has hurt my eyes, he thought. Yet they are still good. In the evening I can look straight into it without getting the blackness. It has more force in the evening too. But now this bug is in there scraping around like a maniac. Jesus, he thought, what's he got in there, a rake?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/riot.jpgriotThe water god in the sky is angry and casts fire at us! Flee! Flee!2012-07-02T16:45:26+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/27/well-thats-news-to-me/2012-06-30T20:11:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/26/airport-security-the-best-friend-wholl-ever-indefinitely-detain-you-without-charge/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/eu-us-airport-security-11-25-2010.jpgEU-US-Airport-Security-11-25-2010Ahhh. Just relax. Isn't that nice? Little massage there for ya'?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/provision_xray.jpgprovision_xrayCongratulations! You've won a free body scan! Oh, you're going to love this! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/guantanamo.jpgguantanamoAh, look at that sunshine! And the green trees, and the ocean's just out of sight! You're going to love it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/beagle-puppy.jpgbeagle-puppyUh oh. Something in your bag made Figglesworth a saaaad little beagle. Which means you have the right to remain silent, doesn't he Figglesworth? Yes, he does! Yes, he does!2012-07-04T02:09:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/24/here-there-be-dragons-or-there-should-be-anyway/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/fire-breathing-dragon.jpgfire-breathing-dragon"Wow, honey, I can't believe I was so reluctant to watch Love, Actually with you! This is AWESOME."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/vermithrax.jpgvermithrax2012-06-28T20:10:29+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/23/byronic-man-now-with-1-more-corporate-jargon/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/winnie-the-pooh-your-pants.jpgwinnie-the-pooh-your-pantsNo, that's putting an assault weapon on Winnie-The-Pooh. Totally different paradigm.2012-06-26T10:07:00+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/22/for-your-reconsideration-the-wire/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/images-1.jpegimages-1This is Bubbles. You will want to climb inside your TV set and help him.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/omar2.jpgomar2This is Omar. You will love Omar. Trust me on this. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/images1.jpegimageshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/the-wire-main.jpegThe Wire main2012-08-19T22:32:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/21/stay-hip-this-summer/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/high_school_by_james_rajotte-10.jpghigh_school_by_james_rajotte.10Set yourself apart from the crowd, with our distinctive blend of sweat, bleach and shame.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/220px-bills_bungy_jump.jpg220px-Bill's_Bungy_JumpSh, sh, sh! Okay, ready? 1... 2... 3... HEY, DAD! TIME TO WAKE UP!!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/eggnog.jpegBeef nogMmmm... just the thing after working up a sweat in the summer sun.2012-06-28T05:47:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/20/letter-to-the-person-who-followed-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/spambot.pngspambotWhat's wrong little Spambot? Didn't you find my post a most highlighted description of the situation? Don't you think I would boost to the enjoyment of all?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/newjackson.jpgnewjacksonhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/3951503337_197bbb8a83_z.jpg3951503337_197bbb8a83_zYou know this isn't really a self-portrait, right? If nothing else, if I had a mustache, it'd be solid-gold Tom Selleck.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/unknown1.jpegUnknownDon't be shy about looking in the metaphoric Medicine Cabinet. 2012-07-22T16:21:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/17/all-a-bother-about-fathers/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/images.jpegimagesFather's Day in my childhood... in the house next door. My house is the one with my dad looking over at their house and sighing.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/tumbler.jpgtumblerHey, Bat-dad. Can I borrow the car? Sweet.2012-06-24T09:56:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/15/and-they-call-it-penguin-loooove-oh-i-guess-theyll-never-knoooowww/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/penguin-14.jpgpenguin-14That's Barry over there. Hey, Barry tell 'em about your girlfriend! AAHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!! We're kiddin' you Paul. We all been there.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/pennycook-penguins.pngPennycook-PenguinsThis scientist's makin' me nervous. She makin' you nervous? She's makin' me nervous.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/penguin-colony.jpgpenguin-colonyTake a look around. Take your time. You see anything else to do? Oh wait, there's a bowling alley! No, no, that's more ice. 2012-06-27T07:38:40+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/16/2649/2012-06-21T11:31:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/14/mr-byronic-im-worried-about-my-grade/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/p1110297.jpgP1110297Well, the assignment was to write a paper on the shift from the late-19th century to Modernist thinking, but, um, I suppose this could get... some... credit...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/calculus.pngcalculusLet me just jot down some quick numbers to figure out your grade, here... umm... D... D... D... carry the one... looking like a D.2012-06-18T19:51:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/13/brace-yourself-tv-is-fake/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/cameron-shooting6.jpgcameron-shooting6.JPGOh, wait - they're hunting a house, literally? Well, that is interesting!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/househunters23.pngHouseHunters2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/househunters22.pngHouseHunters2Is he going to notice the mold on the windowsill?! Is he going to notice the -- MOLD!! THERE'S MOLD ON THE WINDOWSILL!! LOOK OVER THERE!! Oh, man, this is exciting TV!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/househunters21.pngHouseHunters2Is he going to notice the mold on the windowsill?! Is he going to notice the -- MOLD!! THERE'S MOLD ON THE WINDOWSILL!! LOOK OVER THERE!! Oh, man, this is exciting TV!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/joanie_loves_chachi5555.jpgjoanie_loves_chachi5555LIES! LIES! LIES!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/make-a-muppet-pieces-web.jpgmake-a-muppet-pieces-webDonald Trump, in a quiet moment before assembly.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/househunters2.pngHouseHunters2Is he going to notice the mold on the windowsill?! Is he going to notice the -- MOLD!! THERE'S MOLD ON THE WINDOWSILL!! LOOK OVER THERE!! Oh, man, this is exciting TV!2012-11-05T08:06:06+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/11/snow-white-the-huntsman-2-the-sequeling/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/swath_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85.jpgswath_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/kristen-stewart-snow-white-huntsman.jpgkristen-stewart-snow-white-huntsman-YES. THAT ONE. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/unknown.jpegUnknownYes, that one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/44692000001_1268771772001_snow-white-and-the-huntsman-1.jpg44692000001_1268771772001_Snow-White-and-the-Huntsman-1That one.2012-08-02T17:01:39+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/10/now-kids-i-will-drink-this-glass-of-water-while-mr-cronkles-tells-you-how-hell-eat-your-soul-while-you-sleep/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/princessbride_168pyxurz.jpgPrincessBride_168Pyxurz"The Fire Swamp! We'll never survive!" "Oh, you're only saying that because no one ever has."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original-2.jpgoriginal-2Just take a moment and imagine being invited over to their house for dinner. Wouldn't you figure it's even money whether the evening ends with you chained up in the basement?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original-6.jpgoriginal-6Kiss your new mother, junior. KIIIIIISSSSS HHEERRRR!!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/medium-1.jpgmedium-1We shall raise her as our own. And she will never grow up.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original.jpgoriginalHe was just a little boy until he came to the doctor. Now he's our toy to play with. Forever. And ever. And ever.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original-3.jpgoriginal-3You say all the neighborhood pets have vanished since we moved in? Hm. That's quite a coincidence.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original-4.jpgoriginal-4Who wants to feed Mr. Choppy some bloody entrails? How about you, little girl?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original-1.jpgoriginal-1Look, kids! It's like we buried them up to their necks, and the can't get away!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/original-7.jpgoriginal-7It's a land of whimsy and merriment here at Cirque Du Withered Corpse!2012-06-24T09:45:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/09/vote-or-vote-not-there-is-no-try/2012-06-11T18:01:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/07/hey-cassie-biehle-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/p17.jpgp17Well, who ELSE should Drew Barrymore go to for help with her romantic problems?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/shaft1.jpgshaft1He's a complicated man, and no one understands him but his blogger.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/shelob.jpgShelobBut if you are brave, and your heart is true, Cassie Biehle, you can survive the spider.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/invisible-man.jpginvisible-man"I could swear Cassie was just standing there, asking that overweight woman when her baby is due, but apparently I was mistaken!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/honeysuckle3.jpgHoneysuckle3Ironically, Jed Lowrie loves to strip naked and roll around in honeysuckle.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/kuato_real.jpgkuato_realSometimes your inner child giggles at toupees, sometimes it tells you to start the reactor in the caverns of Mars.2012-06-15T14:53:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/06/happy-birthday-to-the-byronic-mom/2012-06-12T14:19:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/03/may-the-curveball-be-with-you-always/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/strange_japan1.jpgstrange_japanhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/strange_japan.jpgstrange_japanCaption me!2012-06-07T14:37:26+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/02/if-you-prefer-to-vote-in-the-middle-of-the-night-thats-reasonable/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/poltergeist3.jpegpoltergeisthttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/poltergeist2.jpegpoltergeistA little girl watching TV in the middle of the night... from a movie probably best not watched in the middle of the night.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/poltergeist1.jpegpoltergeistA little girl watching TV in the middle of the night... from a movie probably best not watched in the middle of the night.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/poltergeist.jpegpoltergeistA little girl watching TV in the middle of the night... from a movie probably best not watched in the middle of the night.2012-06-03T18:24:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/06/01/aint-nothing-going-to-get-this-out-of-your-brain/2012-07-03T00:34:48+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/29/this-is-your-brain-this-is-your-brain-on-the-running-trail/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/darpa-terminator-vision-hud2-j-274843-13.jpgdarpa-terminator-vision-hud,2-J-274843-13How I imagine the running trail looks through Mark's eyes.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/sunset-1.jpgSunset-1He doesn't have the sunset, and the ocean, stuff, man. Well, he does, but not like I do. 2012-06-17T00:31:34+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/28/letter-composed-during-a-lull-in-the-fighting-by-kevin-c-powers/2012-05-31T23:22:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/27/tonights-feature-presentation-will-begin-as-soon-as-you-accept-that-youre-not-getting-any-sleep/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/3490-20869.gif3490-20869I even remember him getting sentenced to jail and singing, "I don't care! I don't give a damn! British justice is a farce and a sham!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/the-muppet-movie.jpgthe muppet movieThree days ago, I saw a rig that'd haul that tanker. You wanna get out of here? Talk to me. Wakka wakka wakka!2012-06-14T23:03:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/26/bears-if-you-are-unable-to-use-a-laptop-please-vote-via-roar/2012-06-01T15:33:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/25/what-to-expect-when-you-tell-people-youre-expecting/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/old_alone_man1.jpgold_alone_man1You're having a baby! Oh, congratulations, that's so great!... Hope you like dying alone, forgotten and a failure! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/clockwork_orange_eye_w300.jpgclockwork_orange_eye_w300The famous scene from A Clockwork Orange, in which Alex tries to stay awake to look after the baby.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/images3.jpegimagesUh-oh! Did somebody have a widdle accident?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/1298159005m_splash.jpg1298159005m_SPLASHMany parents wind up with legos permanently encrusting their lower appendages. They are the lucky ones.2012-06-17T00:36:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/03/09/cool-ouch/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/gandalf-rankin-bass.jpggandalf-rankin bassByronic man, shown here explaining to Bilbo why he's special.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/photo-on-2012-05-24-at-07-14.jpgPhoto on 2012-05-24 at 07.14Ahh, the glamour. The integrity...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/pinball_wizard_germany_ps.jpgPinball_Wizard_Germany_PS...could've been better.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/the-wizard.jpgThe-WizardCould've been worse...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/tgf-166_528_poster.jpgtgf-166_528_poster2013-02-06T22:19:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/24/skiing-with-the-attractivesons/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ironman01.jpgironman01Iron Man's goggles were pretty nice, too. Maybe $450.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/guerrilla-in-the-mist.jpgguerrilla-in-the-mistC'mon kids! Let's hit the slopes!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/btg1.jpgBTG1Who's ready to hit the slopes!?2012-08-30T19:13:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/23/youll-pauperism-this-interview-and-thats-no-brussels/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/residential.jpgComputer Repair WatfordWhat was it you said you did? Something with computers? Don't be shy.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/fop1.jpgfophttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/sinyal.pngsinyalIf everyone just took five minutes out of their day to take a signal, imagine the difference we could make.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/search-engines.gifsearch-enginesDisgrace! Disgrace on the search engines! Yeah! Fie on them!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/250px-brussels_in_belgium_and_the_european_union-svg.png250px-Brussels_in_Belgium_and_the_European_Union.svgGot my eye on you, Brussels. I don't know why, but I do.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/fop.jpgfop"Fopperism"? I don't see a lot of hip-hop being done about Fops and paupers, though. Not very 'street.'2012-05-24T21:01:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/21/please-hire-me-to-be-a-job-creator/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/foretguyane.jpgforetguyaneUgh. Look at that mess. Well, here's your clippers. Best get to it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/nascar-ab-moteur-1-1g3ff2x.jpgnascar-ab-moteur-1-1g3ff2xWhat merriment the engine's roar provides, eh? I say, fellows! My automotive racer seems to be at the lead of the race! Foie gras for everyone, on me!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/dog-in-yoda-costume.jpgdog-in-yoda-costume2013-07-30T01:24:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/20/bear-with-me-this-week-ha-cause-the-picture-its-of-a-bear/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/strange-bedfellows.jpgstrange-bedfellows2012-05-24T10:02:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/19/the-picked-up-artists/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/spambot.pngspambotHey, Byronic Man! I was to be thinking that your post yesterday am of the most hilarity!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/lonely-man-at-bar.jpglonely-man-at-barHey man, sorry you struck out and that she called you so many bad names. On the upside, from where I'm sitting, that was freaking hilarious!2012-05-22T20:16:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/18/22-years-after-mount-st-helens-got-all-drama-queen-on-us/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/mount-st-helens-before-after-spirit-lake-before_20384_600x450.jpgmount-st-helens-before-after-spirit-lake-before_20384_600x450Look at it. So quiet. So serene. Juuuust waiting for you to forget it's even there. Just forget about the little old mountain for 10 or 20 thousand years and KABLAM-O.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/75513-004-a5c27f0a.jpg75513-004-A5C27F0A"Um, excuse you?" "That wasn't me. I'm pretty sure that was a volcanic blast." "Oh."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/blog_giant_bulge.jpgblog_Giant_bulgeWell, even if it does erupt, I've got my trusty umbrella...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/reid_blackburns_car_after_may_18_1980_st-_helens_eruption.jpgReid_Blackburn's_car_after_May_18,_1980_St._Helens_eruptionMost of the damage appears to be at the front of the vehicle, indicating - Mr. Wykes - that you ran in to the volcano. Not the other way around, as you would have us believe.2012-05-21T18:34:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/17/hey-renee-from-life-in-the-boomer-lane-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/frieda1st.giffrieda1sthttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/wire-1.jpgwire-1Renee has said the magic words. ALL HAIL, "THE WIRE"!!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/black-death-1.jpgblack-death-1Excuse me! Excuse me! Um, a little less on the "demon," a little more on the "hand-washing" and "cats," is all I'm saying...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/o0zt.jpg"The Color Purple" Broadway Opening Night - Outside ArrivalsBoy, it was not easy to figure out who this "Oprah" person is, much less find a picture of her. Is she like a scientist or something?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/them.jpgthemDon't worry, little lady. My handy snub-nose pistol will take care of... THEM.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/256423772503550775_xfbpoqph_b.jpg256423772503550775_XfbPoqPh_bhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/seven_peanuts_06.jpgseven_peanuts_062012-10-10T22:44:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/15/and-the-gender-is/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/enlightenment.jpgenlightenmentTo be so happy that she ascends to a higher being, an enlightened spirit of grace and joy. That's all I ask.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/5set-lg.jpg5set-lgAnd then the triceratops is, like, RAAAARRRR! And uh-oh, here comes T-Rex! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! ROOOAAARRRR!! RAAAARRRR!!! RRROOOAAARRR!! -- Oh, hi, sweetie. Um, did you want to play with your dinosaurs?2012-06-21T01:02:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/13/hey-baby-wanna-check-out-my-question-of-the-week/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pickup_artist-2.pngpickup_artist-2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pickup_artist1.pngpickup_artisthttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pickup_artist.pngpickup_artist2012-05-18T00:03:20+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/12/these-buttons-are-downright-poetic/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/yellow_button1.jpgyellow_button2012-05-15T03:41:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/11/sometimes-you-have-to-4-way-stop-and-smell-the-roses/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ch-shopping-cart-junkfood.jpgch-shopping-cart-junkfoodScoff. Psh. Fneh. Look at that junk food. I am just SO SUPERIOR. Hm? What, the 8 tubs of Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide in my cart? I don't know. How'd that get there?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/black-friday-shoppers-2011.jpgBlack Friday ShoppingWell, okay, not on Black Friday. There's nothing good to think about humanity on Black Friday and no one would let you in line if their cart was full and the only thing you were buying was insulin.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pic200361521407636.jpgPIC200361521407636You can see from this simulation that 75% of the vehicles contain decent, kind people. 22% contain people who will space out and forget whose turn it is and refuse to go. The other 3% suck and I hate them.2012-05-16T13:29:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/10/we-hold-these-truths-to-be-self-evident-that-some-people-are-equal-some-arent/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/hispanic_family.jpghispanic_familyAnd don't give us that "Actually, I'm Guatemalan" crapola. You know what we mean.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/knee.jpgkneeWhoooo!! This Constitution kicks ass!!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/burmesemuslimgirl.jpgBurmeseMuslimGirlhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/lakers-riot.jpglakers-riotJust what the hell's going on here?? Oh, The Lakers won? Carry on.2012-06-04T04:35:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/06/that-really-pushes-my-buttons/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/665-ul6053qr.jpg665-ul6053qrWell, okay, I do own a TV, but only because I won it... in a reading contest. And sometimes I'm setting books down and the land on the remote and turn on Project Runway for 4 hours at a time...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/yellow_button.jpgyellow_buttonA "button" button might also be nice.2012-05-09T04:35:31+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/05/a-short-eulogy-for-adam-yauch-of-the-beastie-boys/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/main.jpgmainhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/539-beastie-boys__1336154447_6796.jpg539-beastie-boys__1336154447_67962012-05-11T14:30:10+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/01/22/beastie-boys-as-chroniclers-of-growing-up-pt-2-pauls-boutique/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/0815_large.jpg0815_largeI know... news to me.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/bboysnew2540b1.jpgbboysnew2540b1Well... they're still kidshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/beastie_boys_2.jpgbeastie_boys_2A bit more subdued than the promo pics for the first album...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/5151.jpg515https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/515.jpg515No gags, no print, nothing. Just the image.2012-05-05T19:45:48+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/01/17/beastie-boys-as-chroniclers-of-gen-x-pt-1-license-to-ill/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/12997739_20101102-beastie-boys-sm-560x225.jpg12997739_20101102-beastie-boys-SM-560x225https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/early1.jpgearlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/51nztyz1wnl-_sl500_aa300_1.jpg51NZTyZ1WNL._SL500_AA300_Heh heh. The call numbers say "eat me" backwards. Heh heh.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/early.jpgearlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/51nztyz1wnl-_sl500_aa300_.jpgLicense to IllHeh heh. The call numbers on the plane say "eat me" backward. Heh heh.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/beastie_boys.jpgBeastie Boys In Front Of WallTrying soooo hard to have an identity2012-05-05T16:09:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/04/today-maam-dea-stands-for-darn-earnest-apology/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/seminarseattle20083.jpgSeminarSeattle20083As you're locking that suspect in a room, stop and ask yourself: Am I trying to do too many things at once? Should I write this down? https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/water-under-west-bridge1.jpgWater under west bridge1Water under the... uh, yes ma'am - that would be the water your son didn't have four days. That's true...2012-05-08T13:27:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/05/03/hey-peg-o-leg-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/frontpic.jpgfrontpicMaybe hold off on the shoulder pads. And the pleated pants.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/4990809964_d3d945b6e7.jpg4990809964_d3d945b6e7"My dearest Nigel, I'm so happy I'm rich..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/invisibleman1-480x330.jpgInvisibleMan1-480x330"And as soon as I unwrap these bandages, all the Lite-Brites, Stretch-Armstrongs and Etch-A-Sketches will be mine! All mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ventriloquist_dummies_1975.jpgventriloquist_dummies_1975Nerdy? I hardly think being able to "stage your own talk show" is nerdy.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/buffy-angel.jpgBuffy-AngelExcellent choice. Oh, you said AN angel, didn't you...2012-05-05T17:26:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/12/08/obviously-it-will-be-in-3d-obviously/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/batusi-300.jpgThe Batusi2012-05-02T13:40:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/02/07/employee-of-the-month-for-the-19th-consecutive-time-for-his-tireless-ah-enthusiasm-mucus-guy/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/tissue.jpgTissue2012-05-05T23:58:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/30/this-weekends-box-office-highlights-people-still-like-movies/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/scrooge-mcduck-make-it-rain.jpgscrooge-mcduck-make-it-rainHunger Games producer (artist's rendering)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/mv5bmzmxnjexnzi3nl5bml5banbnxkftztcwnjqyoda1nw-_v1-_sx640_sy480_.jpgMV5BMzMxNjExNzI3Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjQyODA1Nw@@._V1._SX640_SY480_"Well... this isn't sexy at ALL..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/mv5bmjq2mtq3ndmzov5bml5banbnxkftztcwmjyznjc0nw-_v1-_sy317_cr10214317_.jpgMV5BMjQ2MTQ3NDMzOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjYzNjc0Nw@@._V1._SY317_CR1,0,214,317_Oh, big shock. The Norwegian movie is about sex. Stupid sexy, liberated Norwegians.2012-05-01T17:20:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/29/the-5-girliest-things-about-me-revealed-in-the-name-of-conquering-and-winning/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tag.jpgtagI also can't stand it when people's tags stick out.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ai0103_perfectly-flaky-pie-crust_lg.jpgAI0103_Perfectly-Flaky-Pie-Crust_lgPsh. Please. You bring that weak-ass crust in to MY house?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/giftbasketgiveaway7.jpggiftbasketgiveaway7Toe Pick!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dsc01866.jpgDSC01866https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dsc01839.jpgDSC01839And it's not just because I don't look good in red...2012-08-03T18:17:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/28/neck-neck-election-results-leading-to-this-weeks-blogger-of-the-week/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/traveling-brangelina.jpggoldenglobe 9 120109You must be *this* tall to enter the Pavilion of Sexiness.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/results2004_lg.jpgresults2004_lg"We are seem some very exciting results coming from urban centers, aren't we, Ken?" "We sure are, Brian! Let's go now live to Wordpress headquarter for some more exit-polling..."2012-05-01T05:06:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/28/this-is-just-to-have-already-said/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/must-go.jpgmust-gohttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/john_deere_lawn_mower.jpgJohn_Deere_lawn_mowerhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/mark-katherine-week2_s640x436.jpgMark-Katherine-Week2_s640x436https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/3164059182_82c1286782.jpg3164059182_82c1286782https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/woman_ironing.jpgwoman_ironing2012-05-01T00:46:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/27/update-im-an-idiot/2012-04-28T18:05:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/27/ladies-and-gentlemen-books-are-good-and-smart-and-neat/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/concert-crowd.jpgconcert-crowdIt's a lot like this. But with more books.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/rave-party-615460_17421582.jpgRAVE PARTY 615460_17421582https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/gatsby.jpggatsbyWould you look at that? Fitzgerals completely misspelled the name of Paul's blog.2012-04-28T19:57:47+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/26/please-hire-me-to-be-a-supreme-court-justice/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ted_nugent1.jpgted_nugent1You raise a couple of interesting points, Mr. Nugent. I may have to revisit my books.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/big-daddys-ice-cream-ice-cream-truck-novelties-scottsdale-phoenix-tempe-arizona-21469542.jpgbig-daddys-ice-cream-ice-cream-truck-novelties-scottsdale-phoenix-tempe-arizona-21469542Yaaay! It's the Supreme Court Truck! It's the Supreme Court Truck! I want a double-scoop of Rocky v. Road!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/220px-official_roberts_cj.jpg220px-Official_roberts_CJIt hasn't been easy to have fewer qualification than Justice Roberts, but I think I've managed it.2012-04-30T13:28:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/24/a-brief-history-of-kidneybean/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/l.jpgl"At this point, the fetus is approximately the size of a Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity breakfast at Ihop..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/509582main_crab_chandra.jpg509582main_Crab_ChandraAnd there's its little nose, isn't that cute? And there's - oh, wait. This is a picture of a crab nebula. Ha ha. Sorry. How'd that get in there?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/big-miracle-drew-and-whale-2-1-12.jpgbig-miracle-drew-and-whale-2-1-12These ads should really come with a warning: "May cause hormonal explosions."2012-06-23T03:41:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/23/this-means-of-course-that-this-new-reader-will-win-every-contest-i-have/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/5g55hd5jd3md3mc3jbc3v05470dabab151288.jpg5G55Hd5Jd3Md3mc3Jbc3v05470dabab151288You ever try to clean fecal water out of a tub? Yeah, well, you will.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/students_visiting_harvard_campus.jpgstudents_visiting_harvard_campusTake a good look, Junior. Someday you'll be sneaking in to classes in these hallowed halls.2012-05-04T02:32:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/22/this-is-just-for-you-to-say/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tv_static.jpgtv_staticAnd apparently I was wrong about how many notices they send you...2012-04-28T15:28:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/21/you-must-be-this-creative-to-go-on-this-ride/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/7.jpg7These rooftop rides in Las Vegas could safely be called "Place I Would Never Go In A Bajillion Years Land".2012-04-30T13:15:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/19/hey-k8edid-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/eddie-haskell.jpgeddie-haskellGee, Misses K8edid, your butt sure looks svelt in those jeans!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/woodstock_guitar.jpgwoodstock_guitarHeck of a guitar player, too.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/to_kill_a_mocking_bird.jpgto_kill_a_mocking_birdYou don't get much cooler than Gregory Peck. Maybe Robert Duvall? Oh, wait, he's in it, too.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/4575937614869136.jpg4575937614869136So, Wonder Woman's invisible jet's probably not high on you wish list...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/george-carlin.jpggeorge-carlinOh, I don't know. Florence Nightingale might have been interested in the "7 words you can't say to patients."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/don_mclean_-_american_pie_album_coverart.pngDon_McLean_-_American_Pie_(album)_Coverart2012-04-22T18:14:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/15/come-to-byronicland/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/rr55nw1.jpgrr55nw1A typical moment in a Tex Avery cartoon.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/59191842_reconstruction464alaindespl.jpg_59191842_reconstruction464alaindesplOn my mark, we will charge the WaterlooSlide! Expect no mercy, and give none!2012-04-19T00:29:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/14/looks-like-weve-got-the-best-seller-list-sewn-up-for-a-while/2012-04-19T18:02:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/13/just-stick-with-me-ms-rowling-ill-make-you-a-big-success/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ghidra01.jpgghidra01Nothing says "Literature" like 3-headed monsters breathing lightning in order to throw an election.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/cute-dog-wearing-a-hat1.jpgCute dog wearing a hat"Well, I may just be a dog, but I do know that you can't make sarsparilla without a little sweetener."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/cute-dog-wearing-a-hat.jpgCute dog wearing a hat"Well, I may just be a dog, but I do know that you can't make sarsparilla without a little sweetener."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/6a00e54ed05fc28833016764fc3707970b-320wi.jpg6a00e54ed05fc28833016764fc3707970b-320wiDon't worry, JK. I'll have you out of that hovel in no time.2012-04-14T01:32:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/11/better-living-through-reeses-peanut-butter-cups/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/pulp_fiction_dance-11579.jpgpulp_fiction_dance-11579https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/pulpfiction00010.pngpulpfiction00010And, of course, Exhibit C: "Bring out the gimp"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/reeses.jpgreesesNot a common source of theories on movies, but there are worse places to start.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/pulp_fiction_stoltz.jpgpulp_fiction_stoltzExhibit B: "That was intense."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/427801_942-jpg.png427801_942.jpgSunrise...sunset... sunrise... sunset... *sniff*2012-04-13T02:25:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/10/color-me-impressed/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/slide_218826_843238_large1.jpgslide_218826_843238_largehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/23.jpg23https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/slide_218826_843238_large.jpgslide_218826_843238_largehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/slide_218826_843058_large.jpgslide_218826_843058_largehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/slide_218826_843051_large.jpgslide_218826_843051_largehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/slide_218826_843529_large.jpgslide_218826_843529_largehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/slide_218826_843096_large.jpgslide_218826_843096_largeSimple, yet ingenious.2012-04-26T21:21:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/08/cogito-ergo-kraken/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/creature-from-the-black-lagoon-movie.jpgcreature from the black lagoon movie"When I wrote the following pages, or rather the bulk of them, I lived alone, in the woods, a mile from any neighbor, in a house which I had built myself, on the shore of Walden Pond, in Concord, Massachusetts, and there battled a creature who looked strangely like a man in a rubber suit."2012-04-14T21:21:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/07/ladies-and-gentlemen-if-youll-look-out-the-left-side-of-the-plane-youll-see-a-poll/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/tumblr_lww4vfurwh1r5caito1_500.jpgtumblr_lww4vfurwh1r5caito1_5002012-04-08T19:37:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/06/all-my-simpsons-lionel-hutz/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/images.jpegimageshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/lionel-hutz-business-card-the-simpsons1.pnglionel-hutz-business-card-the-simpsonshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/11239627x18-el-da-en-que-m.jpg11239627x18-el-da-en-que-mhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/lionel-hutz-business-card-the-simpsons.pnglionel-hutz-business-card-the-simpsonshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/lionel_hutz1.jpglionel_hutzhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/lionel_hutz.jpglionel_hutz2012-06-15T12:14:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/05/roads-where-were-going-we-dont-need-more-than-a-moderate-amount-of-roads/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/5359434_ori.jpg5359434_oriYes, I know they weren't sunglasses. Calm down.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bladerunner-car.jpgbladerunner-carSure, a Blade Runner future also includes dystopian horror and constant darkness, but... you take the bad with the good.2012-04-09T03:29:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/02/for-your-reconsideration-exile-on-main-st/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/220px-exilemainst.jpg220px-ExileMainSt2012-04-16T20:24:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/04/01/ladies-and-gentlemen-this-is-your-captain-speaking-who-wants-parfait/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/z22.jpgz22"Let's tell them we have to throw half the passengers out because we're too heavy! Hahahahahaha!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/gv9.jpggv9You never heard about these guys freaking out, did you? No, you didn't. Why? Because they went "good crazy." Also there all long dead.2012-04-03T15:23:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/30/you-had-me-at-bwwwaaaaarrrmmmm/2012-04-03T15:32:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/29/this-would-make-the-swearing-in-really-exciting/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/critic.jpgcriticPresident Obama, as seen through the eyes of the Neo-cons.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/medium_fox_friends_dog-flv.jpgmedium_Fox_Friends_Dog.flvAhhh... now that's softball journalism!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/slide6.jpgslide6"Four score and seven God damn years ago, those sons-a-bitches over at the New York Times brought forth on this piece-of-crap continent..."2012-03-31T21:51:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/31/you-totally-rock-wink/2012-04-01T11:02:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/27/a-beagle-by-any-other-name/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/p1010013.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhat can I say? I'm a dog of many dimensions.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/164.jpg164Then... there are the extremes...2012-06-14T19:48:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/26/what-goes-through-my-head-when-i-look-at-the-hubble-deep-field-images/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/lightsaber2as.pnglightsaber2ashttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/hs-1996-01-a-small_web.jpghs-1996-01-a-small_webHey, citizens of the universe! What better way to get to know the people of Earth than a subscription to The Byronic Man?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/detailwf4.gifDetailWF4It should be called the Shrimp Galaxy. Or The Byronic man.com galaxy. Less logical but I'd be willing to go with it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/hs-2004-07-b-full_jpg.jpgIDL TIFF fileLookit! Lookit! Lookitlookitlookit!2012-03-30T22:40:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/25/hey-blogosphere-are-you-ready-to-rock-if-not-i-can-wait/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/tumblr_lww4vfurwh1r5caito1_500.jpgtumblr_lww4vfuRWh1r5caito1_500Just make sure whatever name you come up with rocks at least this hard.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/george_clooney_8.jpggeorge_clooney_8Obviously, he'd get dibs on the name. Fair is fair.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/limpbizkit.jpgLimp+BizkitAnd the story of where their name comes from is even worse. It actually could make you physically nauseous. Don't waste the Google search.2012-04-01T18:18:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/23/a-dark-clouds-silver-lining-why-you-can-feel-hopeful-about-the-popularity-of-rick-santorum/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/time-machine-observations.jpgtime-machine-observationsIf it'll make it more enticing, we can take the Delorean to get there. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/lego-edwards1.jpglego-edwardsEdwards vision of God's loving embrace for pretty much everyone but him.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/radioheadcolors.jpgradioheadcolorsTechnically speaking, I suppose they would be looked on as fairly freakish in any community of monkeys. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/lego-edwards.jpglego-edwardsThey also think God Hates Legos.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/21.png21Ah, doesn't it make you feel welcome? Loved?2012-04-01T04:50:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/22/hey-laura-from-laughter-is-catching-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/ryan-reynolds-toned-body.jpgryan-reynolds-toned-body"Ryan Reynolds: The True Story of Laura Tinker's Husband."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/burning-beach.jpgBurning beachI'm going finally take that trip to that tropical paradise... and burn it to the ground!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rick-astley1.jpgrick-astley1To be fair, he also never gave up, never let us down. Never ran around and deserted us.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/lazy-cat-being-lazy-853715_1024_768.jpgLazy-Cat-being-lazy-853715_1024_768Sooo... let's see... there's that sunny spot I want to lie in in a few hours... I've really behind on my staring out the window... work, work, work.2012-03-23T13:37:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/20/ninja-turtles-now-explodier-than-ever/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/care-bears-jpg.gifcare-bears.jpgHe will somehow make them crude, ethnic stereotypes. Also, one will be "Sexy Bear."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/ninjaturtles.jpgninjaturtlesImage from Ryan Palmer at IGN.comhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/unknown.jpegUnknownBay somehow managed to fit this image in to a movie about alien robot cars. It's pretty undeniable: when it comes to crassly shoehorning in gratuitous T & A, the man has talent.2012-03-22T14:38:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/18/you-know-what-they-say-a-wink-is-as-good-as-a-disturbing-implication/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/wink-martindale1.jpgWink-Martindale1Martindale, Winkhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/winking_natalie_by_cweeks.jpg"Garden State" Los Angeles Premiere - Red CarpetOh my God! Natalie Portman is winking right at me! She loves me! I knew it!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/amd_palin-wink.jpgamd_palin-winkA lot of people wanted to elect this person to the presidency because they felt like she was winking right at them. These people are idiots.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/71038_119761809906_5512950_n.jpg71038_119761809906_5512950_nSuper wink2012-03-20T15:23:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/20/i-think-youll-find-we-go-together-like-well-like-time-travel-and-fishing/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/jvb-fancy-hat1-300x247.jpgJVB-Fancy-Hat1-300x247The right hat makes all the difference. No hat? Just some dude. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/130004_black.jpg130004_Blackhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/timecop29.jpgtimecop29Oh, Time Cop, right, the one with the splits and the cupboard... that one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/peck-mobydick.jpgpeck-mobydickIt ends badly, my friend. It ends badly.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/billted3.jpgbillted3That's Socrates on the left, there, Billy The Kid to my right. Good times. Good times.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/je_13_3.jpgje_13_3Sure, but does she have a tub of Dippity-Do? Didn't think so.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/3n83p73l55o45q55s6b6h83208c59c5c81dd61.jpg3n83p73l55O45Q55S6b6h83208c59c5c81dd6https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/3n83p73l55o45q55s6b6h83208c59c5c81dd6.jpg3n83p73l55O45Q55S6b6h83208c59c5c81dd62012-03-17T15:33:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/16/the-ruinin-o-the-festivities/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/patrick.jpgpatrick"Patrick" "driving" the "snakes" "out" of Ireland.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/photo-on-2012-03-16-at-06-29.jpgPhoto on 2012-03-16 at 06.292012-04-11T22:09:29+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/15/update-hbo-cancels-luck-and-the-byronic-man-is-incredibly-powerful/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/tumblr_kqqxfelaor1qzvqipo1_5001.jpgtumblr_kqqxfelAoR1qzvqipo1_500Byronic Man, unleashing his power on cable television. (artist's rendering)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/tumblr_kqqxfelaor1qzvqipo1_500.jpgtumblr_kqqxfelAoR1qzvqipo1_500Byronic Man unleashing his power on cable television (artist's rendering)2012-03-26T17:09:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/15/if-i-could-punch-all-the-animals-slug-all-the-animals-imagine-all-the-animals-we-could-puuuuunch/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/3003horse2.jpg3003horseAaaaand here comes Prayers For Rain, pulling away from the pack! Prayers For Rain coming in to the final stretch! He's all clear, thundering up the track as he's headed in to the - PRAYERS FOR RAIN WINS!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/3003horse1.jpg3003horseAaaaand here comes Prayers For Rain, pulling away from the pack! Prayers For Rain coming in to the final stretch! He's all clear, thundering up the track as he's headed in to the - PRAYERS FOR RAIN WINS!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/3003horse.jpg3003horseAaaaand here comes Prayers For Rain, pulling away from the pack! Prayers For Rain coming in to the final stretch! He's all clear, thundering up the track as he's headed in to the - PRAYERS FOR RAIN WINS!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/images3.jpegimagesComing soon, Public Beheadings and Feeding Christians To Lions!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/mongo.jpgmongoAre you just pawn in big game of life?2012-03-16T20:41:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/13/for-your-reconsideration-the-godfather-part-iii/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/godfather-part-3.jpggodfather-part-3https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/the-godfather-3-movie-screenshots33.jpgthe-godfather-3-movie-screenshots33https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/godfather-2.jpggodfather 2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/large-l31.jpglarge l31Remember how Kay aborted their child, just bring the Corleone's to an end? And Michael shut her out forever? Yeah, well, they took a walk, talked it out. They're good.2012-03-17T15:27:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/11/sorry-this-post-is-an-hour-late-but-stupid-clock-change-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/crying-baby-natural-high-for-some-moms.jpgrbby_92Babies have an instinctual sense that that clock's have been moved forward.2012-03-17T15:17:20+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/08/hey-sj-from-snobbery-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/images2.jpegimagesDouglas Adams, in a rare towel-less moment.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/df-tv-dresdenharry.jpgDF-TV-DresdenHarryIt's not my fault! I did my best!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/22029.jpg22029"Some call me... SJ..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/stevie-nicks.jpgStevie-NicksAlways in a scarf phase, though. Some things are eternal.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/robgordon.jpgRobGordonMakes a hell of a mix tape, though, Rob does.2012-03-11T23:55:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/06/mitt-romney-make-politics-hilarious-again/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rich-monopoly-man12.jpgrich-monopoly-man1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rich-monopoly-man11.jpgrich-monopoly-man1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/6a00d8341bf68b53ef01156fb855cc970c-800wi.jpg6a00d8341bf68b53ef01156fb855cc970c-800wihttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rich-monopoly-man1.jpgrich-monopoly-man"Corporations are people, my friend!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rich-monopoly-man.jpgrich-monopoly-manhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/omar-little-the-wire1.jpgomar-little-the-wireOmar in 2012? Oh, Indeed.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/omar-little-the-wire.jpgomar-little-the-wire2012-03-07T20:22:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/04/next-question-in-your-opinion-why-would-a-woodchuck-be-chucking-wood-in-the-first-place/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2147468970_8317feb6fe.jpg2147468970_8317feb6fehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/5429125415_c8973251aa.jpg5429125415_c8973251aaNext question, and please answer honestly. How are you working with toxic materials?2012-03-11T04:11:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/03/666-reasons-to-love-80s-heavy-metal/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/images1.jpegimagesAt worst it makes me want to start counting off, "Gunter, glieben, glauchen, globen..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/images.jpegimagesAt worst it makes me want to start counting off, "Gunter, glieben, glauchen, globen..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/alg_judas-priest_rob-halford1.jpgalg_judas-priest_rob-halfordhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/alg_judas-priest_rob-halford.jpgalg_judas-priest_rob-halford2012-06-14T21:47:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/03/01/hey-darla-from-shes-a-maineiac-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/murder-she-wrote.jpgmurder-she-wrote"Theyah's been a mawduh, ayuh."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dadams2.jpgdadams2Also, you don't see James Bond with a Cone of Silence.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/the-worlds-largest-fiberglass-paul-bunyan1.jpgThe World's Largest Fiberglass Paul BunyanHellooooo, Darla.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/the-worlds-largest-fiberglass-paul-bunyan.jpgThe World's Largest Fiberglass Paul Bunyanhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/crying-indian1.jpgcrying-indian1This is also why Darla litters so much.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/threes_company_title_page_1981.pngThrees_Company_Title_Page_1981Little known fact: John Lennon's "Imagine" was the original theme song to Three's Company!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/gordongecko-2d740537-small1.jpggordongecko-2d740537-small1Of course, it's best to avoid oozing too much confidence.2012-04-14T01:26:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/29/don-draper-vs-the-terminator-or-possibly-kim-cattrall/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/madmen-popup_jpg_627x1000_q85.jpgmadmen-popup_jpg_627x1000_q852012-03-11T08:12:57+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/27/international-cute-huggable-creatures-who-could-easily-kill-you-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/polar-bear.jpgPolar-Bearhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/capt4c3f08ae5e1443b4975cbfec91207761japan-polar-bears-tok804.jpgJapan Polar BearsI will be your friend.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/polar-bears-fighting-for-016.jpgPolar bears fighting for foodhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/polar-bear-on-labrador-se-007.jpgPolar Bear on Labrador Sea IceCome on in! The water's fine!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/baby-polar-bear-2.jpgbaby-polar-bear-2In a couple years, this would be a veeerrry different picture.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/playful_baby_polar_bear-1600x1200-bandwidth-thief.jpgPlayful_Baby_Polar_Bear-1600x1200-Bandwidth-thiefSo cuuuuuuuute.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/barter-island-kaktovik-al-004.jpgBarter-Island-Kaktovik-Al-004https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/polar-bear-in-greenland-001.jpgPolar Bear in GreenlandHm, smells liiiiike.... smells like arctic explorers wishing they'd brought more energy bars... or at least decided not to eat the liver first.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/polar-bear-on-labrador-se-005.jpgPolar Bear on Labrador Sea Ice2012-03-05T19:49:19+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/26/and-the-winner-should-be/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/zookeeper-movie-photo-574x400.jpgzookeeper-movie-photo-574x400Or Zookeeper? 100 years from now the genius of Zookeeper will be realized, man.2012-03-05T14:38:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/24/byronic-max-plosion-battle-axe-throat-punch-with-only-one-calorie/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/pepper10-500x4391.jpgpepper10-500x4391"May cause urges to destroy property"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/dp10.jpgDP10Drinking our diet soda is like shooting stuff in the jungle! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/thumb_25.jpgthumb_25Ooh, manly. Manly, manly, manly. 2012-02-27T01:42:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/23/you-see-the-cat-is-like-society-and-the-dude-with-the-tv-hes-like-our-dreams-man/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/on-a-boat.jpgon-a-boatYep... they are on a boat, and saying 'mother fucker' a lot... sigh... I am very old.2012-02-24T13:24:26+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/21/psst-hey-buddy-wanna-buy-a-nickel/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/090723-wizardofid.jpg090723-WizardOfIdOh, ho ho! With the golfing and the caddies, and the expecting it to be a sword...!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wizard-of-id-2004-01-09-altered.jpgwizard-of-id-2004-01-09-alteredHo ho! Zing!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/factory-pollution1.jpgfactory-pollutionhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/factory-pollution.jpgfactory-pollutionWell, the groundwater can catch fire now, but look at all these coins! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/pile_of_dirt.jpgPile_Of_DirtSorry, all I've got is change.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wizard1-1.gifwizard1-1Ha ha ha ha! Oh, it's funny because the ladies, they love the shopping and the spending their husband's money! Oh, man! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wizard1.gifwizard1Ha ha ha ha! Oh, it's funny because the ladies, they love the shopping and the spending their husband's money! Oh, man! Now do one about women drivers!2012-02-24T20:42:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/19/500-days-of-simpsons/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/images1.jpegimageshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/simpsonsanime2.jpgsimpsonsanime2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/capture4921.jpgcapture[4921]https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/homerfamilytv.gifHomerFamilyTVhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/the-shinning.jpgthe shinning2012-02-20T22:49:42+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/18/like-gag-me-with-a-remake/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/valley-girl-1983-nicolas-cage-cameron-dye-pic-11.jpgvalley-girl-1983-nicolas-cage-cameron-dye-pic-1How cool? That coolhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/valleygirl01.jpgvalleygirl0180's Fashions, as opposed to fakey "Ha Ha! Look at the 80's Fashions!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/valley-girl-1983-nicolas-cage-cameron-dye-pic-1.jpgvalley-girl-1983-nicolas-cage-cameron-dye-pic-1https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tumblr_lhknrdnq7t1qbmppgo1_500.pngtumblr_lhknrdNq7t1qbmppgo1_500You think you're going to improve on this??2012-02-21T17:40:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/16/hey-deb-ryan-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/food-and-shelter.gifFood and ShelterYeah, but how are they supposed to enjoy this without rocket packs, or "national hula hoop day"?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/maclymont_1325121382_big-jpg-png1.jpegmaclymont_1325121382_big.jpg.pngI'm pretty sure by "you" she meant "me"," personally, and that the rest of that sentence is a typo.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/maclymont_1325121382_big-jpg-png.jpegmaclymont_1325121382_big.jpg.png**Editor's note: I'm pretty sure by "you" she meant "me"," personally, and that the rest of that sentence is a typo**https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/white.jpgwhiteShe does, it appears, rock.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/angel-tv-show-10.jpgAngel-tv-show-10This photo would look nicely on my Author page, don't you think?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tumblr_ljk76f7mny1qzxaqyo1_500.jpgtumblr_ljk76f7Mny1qzxaqyo1_500Season 2 is fantastic, too. Season 3 can be avoided.2012-02-18T14:33:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/15/update-russian-legos-are-not-people/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/toy-protest-in-barnaul-0071.jpgToy protest in BarnaulNot Russian citizens, even though they have the same voice in government that citizens do.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/toy-protest-in-barnaul-007.jpgToy protest in BarnaulNot Russian citizens, even though they have the same voice in government that citizens do.2012-02-17T14:51:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/14/love-is-in-the-air-also-smoke-and-the-smell-of-wet-dog/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/gourmet_pizza_3.jpggourmet_pizza_3And nothing weird, like mint leaves or corn or something.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/photo-1.jpgphoto-1And it'll get the tub clean, too!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/dog-eat-shoe.jpgdog-eat-shoeNo, "Night We Saw That Comet"! That's... well, I guess the other shoe's already a goner.2012-02-15T14:11:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/07/please-hire-me-to-be-a-member-of-seal-team-6/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/seal_team_vi_osama_is_dead_tshirt-p235073775320388021zjr5n_400.jpgseal_team_vi_osama_is_dead_tshirt-p235073775320388021zjr5n_400I would only wear my shirt around the house, to social events or work. If people asked I would just say that I can neither confirm nor deny my shirt.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/unknown.jpegUnknownhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/forward_basic.jpgforward_basicAnd step and two and side and three and toe and back and KI-AI!!! HAI-YAHH!!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/100_3812.jpg100_3812"The terrorist are 9 kilometers away! What'll we do?" "I'll handle this one, boys."2012-12-31T14:59:40+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/12/the-first-rule-of-ice-cream-club-is-you-dont-talk-about-ice-cream-club/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/brad-pitt-workout-fight-club-pic.jpgBrad-Pitt-Workout-Fight-Club-PicOh no. Does this mean my abs don't really look like this? No, no - of course they do. I2012-02-16T14:36:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/11/its-bad-luck-not-to-read-and-comment-on-this-post/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/images-11.jpegimages-1"Hm? Oh, I guess you do have your skirt tucked in to your underwear and toilet paper stuck to your shoe. Hadn't noticed. You enjoying that ice cream?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mel-gibson-braveheart-photograph-c1010192231.jpgmel-gibson-braveheart-photograph-c1010192231"They may take our lives! But they'll never take... OUR ICE CREEEEAAAAMM!!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/images-1.jpegimages-1"Hm? Oh, I guess you do have your skirt tucked in to your underwear and toilet paper stuck to your shoe. Hadn't noticed. You enjoying that ice cream?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/images.jpegimagesA little more masculine, though, and lot less sexy.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/united_airlines_aircraft_taking_off_at_schiphol_airport.jpgUnited_Airlines_aircraft_taking_off_at_Schiphol_AirportOh, "lift" and "drag," ha ha. Right. Keep counting.2012-02-23T14:10:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/09/herding-cats-is-harder-than-well-you-know/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p10100061.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHere's a shot from making the first one. See how relaxed we all look? Know why? No cats.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/3843875187_4045fc4ccb1.jpg3843875187_4045fc4ccbKitty's not here, man.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p1010049.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThis cat.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p1010006.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHere's a shot from making the first one. See how relaxed we all look? Know why? No cats.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/3843875187_4045fc4ccb.jpg3843875187_4045fc4ccbOh, yeah, but now try to make him do that...2012-10-16T04:17:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/05/one-of-them-has-more-actual-pooping-on-the-field-but-probably-a-better-half-time-show/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/9205484-san-francisco-ca-october-20-giants-andres-torres-running-towards-third-base-game-4-of-the-2010-nlcs.jpg9205484-san-francisco-ca--october-20-giants-andres-torres-running-towards-third-base-game-4-of-the-2010-nlcs"Oh God! Those guys are coming right at me! Hit 'em with the bat! Guys??! Hit 'em with the bat!""https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/puppy-bowl-8.jpgpuppy-bowl-82012-02-07T14:30:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/04/my-garbage-man-my-enemy/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p1010002.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhy yes, this is the softest cushion in the room. Why?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p1010015.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASqueaky Monkey, during a brief moment of peace.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p1010011.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/p1010041.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHello.2012-02-07T14:20:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/02/02/hey-blogdramedy-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tumblr_l6a5mwy4sp1qzzh6g.jpgtumblr_l6a5mwy4sp1qzzh6gBlogdramedy. Me. (That's right, I'm exactly like Cary Grant.)https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/post_image-khloe-kardashian-keeping-up-with-the-kardashians-premiere-ad-060809_2.jpgpost_image-Khloe-Kardashian-Keeping-Up-with-the-Kardashians-Premiere-Ad-060809_2But, if you outlawed the Kardashians, we could send bounty hunters to track them down... which would be a great TV show! It's a paradox!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/karl_urban-main-415x5201.jpgkarl_urban-main-415x520I can't act today. I'm sorry, it's Blogdramedy... I... just can't stop brooding about her.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/prime-suspect1-final_t614.jpgPrime-Suspect1-final_t614Hm, that crushed skull is going to make wearing sunglasses extremely difficult...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/karl_urban-main-415x520.jpgkarl_urban-main-415x520It's Blogdramedy... I... just can't stop brooding about her.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2010815182028-9079.jpg2010815182028-9079Damndest thing. Those Prada shoes? They just walked off on their own.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/20105245551176784.jpg201052455511767842012-08-12T12:29:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/29/and-dont-worry-be-happy-makes-me-sad-and-anxious/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/4ebbd433c486d-image.jpg4ebbd433c486d.image"Sir, don't act so put out. I asked very nicely for you to turn off the song, and you declined, okay? And I think you owe the gentleman I hurled through the glass a gift certificate."2012-02-04T15:33:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/27/the-temperature-isnt-the-only-cool-thing-in-barnaul-siberia/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-027.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-027https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-0251.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-025Monkeys and pigs are a united front on the issue.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-029.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-029https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-025.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-025https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/077498-toy-protest.jpg077498-toy-protesthttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-0181.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-018https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-018.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-018https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/toy-figure-protests-in-ba-024.jpgToy-figure-protests-in-Ba-024You'll never take me alive, copper! Attica! Attica! Attica!2012-01-30T16:32:32+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/26/worst-childrens-books/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1202012124227pm8567homelite-super-xl-chainsaw.jpg1202012124227PM8567Homelite Super XL Chainsaw"And suddenly the guy, the hero guy, came upon a chainsaw that had been blessed by some girl who's a goddess so she's that kind of non-sexual sexy, and he was like, "Sweet."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/vermeer_906_wood_chipper_6000_hendersonville_9034172.jpgvermeer_906_wood_chipper_6000_hendersonville_9034172Also, a surprising number of things get thrown in the chipper that aren't really "What's"2012-01-27T03:55:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/24/and-the-award-for-biggest-grump-about-the-oscars-goes-to/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/gladiator-movie-2.jpggladiator-movie-2Even I can't believe this got called the Best Picture of the Year!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/awardoscar.jpgAwardOscar"Oh, this is so unexpected! I can't tell you what means to my Q Rating, and the amount I'll be able to - sniff - command in salary for my next few films..."2012-01-26T17:34:04+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/20/movie-stars-is-there-anything-they-cant-do/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/63452_slaves-flee_lg.gif63452_slaves-flee_lg"Oh, thank God! Burt Reynolds has come to free us!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ck13big.jpgck13big"Yo, those knives and para-military training are no match for these guns, Abdul."2012-01-23T13:59:05+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/19/hey-brainrants-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/t-pain_5_oclock_video.jpgT-Pain_5_OClock_VideoAmazingly, Brainrants limited musical talents still put him several steps ahead of T-Pain.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/mv5bmtu4ntczodkwm15bml5banbnxkftztcwmzeymtiymw-_v1-_sy317_.jpgMV5BMTU4NTczODkwM15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzEyMTIyMw@@._V1._SY317_There's a generation of males for whom this one's impact pretty much goes without saying.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bill-of-rights1.jpgBill of Rights(1)See? It's right there in Amendment 8: "Got to let the idiots and jerks leave comments, too."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/87992-004-9307aad1.jpg87992-004-9307AAD1That last part of #14 is a ConanThe Barbarian reference. He doesn't really want to hear the lamentations of the women. I don't think...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/xray_glasses.jpgxray_glassesWell, jeez, if I'd known you wanted a super power I could actually give you...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/land_m1a2-sep_motoring_lg.jpgLAND_M1A2-SEP_Motoring_lg"Just wait 'til we get this baby up to 40mph, General Patton! Whhooooo!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/salma_hayek_09.jpgsalma_hayek_09Why... why does my bra keep swearing?2012-01-21T15:27:42+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/08/the-vision-to-be-visionary-about-visions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/hamburger-mouse-pad.jpghamburger-mouse-padBecause the world will need hilarious mouse-pads.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/kitten-asleep-in-food.jpgkitten-asleep-in-foodUh-oh! Somebody got tired! Anyway, about the future...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/ipad_templates_242.jpgipad_templates_24... this = The Future.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/alarm-clock1.jpgalarm-clockThis (sexied up about 25%), + ...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/ipad_templates_241.jpgipad_templates_24... this = The Futurehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/alarm-clock.jpgalarm-clockThis (sexied up about 25%), + ...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/ipad_templates_24.jpgipad_templates_242012-01-19T22:55:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/17/people-dumb/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/images-11.jpegimages-1These kinds of women...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/images-1.jpegimages-1We're here to help.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/google-chrome3.pngGoogle-Chrome3HEY! HEY, MR. GOOGLE! I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/jennifer-aniston-body-ideal.jpgJennifer-Aniston-body-idealOkay, folks, show's over! Nothing more to see here! Let's move along, now. Move along.2012-01-22T02:16:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/15/baby-you-give-names-a-bad-name/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/147942077_5b156d88031.jpg147942077_5b156d8803Just keep doing it, honey! Mummy has a lot riding on this!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2897038000_3d2263ccab.jpg2897038000_3d2263ccabLei, pronounced "lay." DUH. And sea, pronounced DUH.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/147942077_5b156d8803.jpg147942077_5b156d8803Just keep doing it, honey. Mummy has a lot riding on you getting this down pat.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/legend.jpglegendOh. This is your son? Re... really? I have to admit, this changes things...2012-01-28T00:47:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/08/why-you-should-hire-me-to-solve-that-murder/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/man-laughing.jpgMan-LaughingYes, I recently found my wife brutally murdered, but oh the zingers those two throw at each other!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/your-eyeglasses_bifocals.jpgyour-eyeglasses_bifocalsSee? It was totally superfluous for her to mention that her glasses are "invisible bifocals.'" The glasses are the key to this case.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/1409311273_eafb03d3c8.jpg1409311273_eafb03d3c8Mmmmm... a little too ironichttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/congressional-cemetary-tombstones.jpgcongressional-cemetary-tombstonesMy God, it's a massacre!2012-11-05T21:46:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/14/special-saturday-morning-feel-bad-about-yourself-edition/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/etch_a_sketch.jpgetch_a_sketch"Display it!" "But Mr. Hockney it's not very--" "I said display it!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/the-arrival-of-spring-in-004.jpgThe-Arrival-of-Spring-in--004https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/the-arrival-of-spring-in-011.jpgThe-Arrival-of-Spring-in--011Apparently the title "Oooh, look at me everyone! I'm more talented than you!" didn't pop for him.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/winter-timber-2009-by-dav-001.jpgWinter-Timber-2009-by-Dav-0012012-01-15T15:59:51+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/12/tormented-by-an-ear-on-your-bee-dangerous-situations-and-how-to-escape/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2363568781_53d5cdf142.jpg2363568781_53d5cdf142I'm back, you guys! You won't believe what happened to me! What do you mean 'who am i?'? I'm Gary. Gary the bee. I am too, Gary!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2725214075_4b863ff2ba.jpg2725214075_4b863ff2baYes, thank you, I can see the gunk in here much more clearly, but I could really use some help!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/943558674_9979a0263b1.jpg943558674_9979a0263bNow, see, that's a hive! Tunnels go in, tunnels come out, and no hitting. Like civilized bees.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/943558674_9979a0263b.jpg943558674_9979a0263bNow, see, that's a hive! Tunnels go in, tunnels come out, and no hitting. LIke civilized bees.2012-07-09T19:00:05+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/10/hey-jules-from-go-guilty-pleasures-lets-play-20-questions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/images.jpegimagesYeah, but does Sydney Bristow have a cool blog?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/210px-riverphoenix1.jpg210px-RiverPhoenix1Hey! River Phoenix is from Oregon, like me! He grew up near here!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/chipmunk.jpgchipmunkI have... I have dim memories of... of slap-bracelets and side-ponies...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/scorpion-live-without-food-or-water-2.jpgscorpion-live-without-food-or-water-2When reached for comments, scorpions reported to be "hurt."2012-01-17T14:34:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/29/typos-offend-the-god-rofeeb/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/citizenkane4.jpgcitizenkane4You know, Citizen Kane started out as a commercial for sleds.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/final_cut_pro_full_interface.giffinal_cut_pro_full_interfaceAre you seeing this image, too? Or has the editing software interface simply burned in to my retinas?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/zuul.jpgZuulZuul's got nothing on Rofeeb.2012-01-10T23:43:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/08/fly-free-like-the-eagle-and-sniff-free-like-the-wiener-dog-and-so-on/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/flower-in-bees-eye-blurred.jpgflower in bees eye blurredAh - Oh my God, I dropped a contact. No one move. I said no one move!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/black-dog-sniffing-white-cat.gifblack-dog-sniffing-white-catMm-hm. Okay. Yeah, I'm getting something. I'm sniffing... irritation. Irritation and ego. 2012-01-15T15:28:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/07/ode-to-spewing-your-drink-out-your-nose-and-needing-breath-so-bad-your-ribs-hurt/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/613gacbpckl-_sl500_aa280_.jpg613GaCbPCkL._SL500_AA280_You've never heard it? Well, you'll thank me.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/cute-cat.jpgcute-catSee? This is how you look when you really laugh. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/w620-m724161583.jpgw620.m724161583I was going to call the post "Does Anybody Remember Laughter?" but thought people might not get the reference and would just think I was being pretentious.2012-06-05T06:19:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2012/01/05/bad-news-sharks-are-coming-to-kill-us-all-good-news-hybrid-sharks-are-coming-to-kill-us-all/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/godzillamininfo1954.jpggodzillamininfo1954Would this new breed of shark have the ability/desire to take Godzilla in a fight? The article doesn't say, suggesting the answer is too terrifying.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ba-australia04_p_wre0105881682_part61.jpgba-australia04_p_WRE0105881682_part6The Common-Australian Blacktip. Also known as SHARK-AGEDDON HYBRIDZILLA.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ba-australia04_p_wre0105881682_part6.jpgba-australia04_p_WRE0105881682_part6The Common-Australian Blacktip. Also known as SHARKZILLA.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/unknown.jpegUnknownMy name? Dr. Colin, um, Simp... fen... dor... fer.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/tutubarao2.jpgtutubarao2Scientists are unclear if Shark Hybrid will desire to solve crimes with a band of teenagers.2012-01-09T11:35:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/31/resolve-to-make-resolutions/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/palau-aerial_2774_600x450.jpgpalau-aerial_2774_600x450Hey, Palau, you're supposed to have amazing scuba diving. How are you for corrupt dictators?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/mayan-calendar-2012-300x284.gifmayan-calendar-2012-300x284Yup, world ending. It's pretty plainly right there.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/blue_bin_and_trash_at_curb.jpgblue_bin_and_trash_at_curbYay! Next resolution: Brush teeth.2012-01-04T01:38:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/26/the-ballad-of-saint-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/us-poverty-rate-600px-photoblog6001-e1316009910462.gifUS-poverty-rate-600px.photoblog6001-e1316009910462There are millions of people living in poverty and you couldn't find four more?? Come on!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/saints-stained-glass-window.jpgSaints.Stained.Glass.WindowYes, I'll look quite nice in stained-glass form. I wonder if I should start wearing robes?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/img_0016.jpgIMG_0016Quit smiling for the camera and get your asses in gear!2011-12-29T16:14:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/22/trouble-wrapping-gifts-ask-someone-who-doesnt-know/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/single-brick.jpgsingle-brickThere you go, look at those corners! Great gift.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/pony-8670.jpgpony-8670Terrible gift. How're you gonna wrap it? How's it going to breathe through the wall of tape?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/img_1250.jpgIMG_1250Whoooo's excited for power-sander refills!?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/broadmachete.pngBroadMacheteObviously, if the gift is in fact a machete, you needn't worry as much about the headlines.2012-01-02T18:24:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/20/happy-first-day-of-hanukk-oh-god-this-movie-just-looks-so-awful/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/gty_kim_jong_il_death_jp_111219_wg.jpggty_kim_jong_il_death_jp_111219_wgAlso an important world event, but with substantially less Batman in it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/kim_jong-il_280x450_11384a-tm.jpgkim_jong-il_280x450_11384a-tmAlso an important world event, but with substantially less Batman in it. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/superbowl-xlii.jpgsuperbowl-xliiI mean, it's not like people watch football thinking, 'What this needs is muscular men in silly outfits running around hitting--' oh, wait...2011-12-22T00:26:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/18/christmas-songs-youd-just-like-to-hug-and-give-a-big-ol-kiss/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/drunk_guy_at_office_holiday_party.jpgdrunk_guy_at_office_holiday_partyHey, c'mon. Hey. Hey, we're gonna sing 'Jingle Balls.' Hahahahaaa. 'Jingle Balls.' Hahahahaha.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/little-drummer-boy1.jpglittle-drummer-boy1“Hey, mom and little sleeping baby! Enjoy!” BRRUM BAH BUM BAH BUM BAH BUMBADUHBUMBADUHBUMBADUH…2011-12-22T16:15:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/17/history-lego-style/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/lego-year-in-pictures-001.jpgLego---year-in-pictures-001There may be a disturbing "Lego Ghaddafi in a Drain Pipe," but I ain't looking for it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/september-2011-proteste-010.jpgSeptember-2011---proteste-010There's also a lego re-enactment of tear gassing protesters in Oakland.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/may-2011-the-mission-to-009.jpgMay-2011---The-mission-to-009How do you make Lego's look so serious?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/april-2011-duke-and-duc-011.jpgApril-2011---Duke-and-Duc-011They appear not to have included Kate's sister's butt.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/9_lego_bible_scenes-s500x375-78221-580.jpg9_Lego_Bible_Scenes-s500x375-78221-580https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/ghostbusters-miniland-2.jpgghostbusters-miniland-2https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/classics_in_lego.jpgclassics_in_lego2023-05-18T18:45:56+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/15/wont-you-like-me-wont-you-really-like-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/400px-air_force_one_photo_op_incident-_altered_by_dod.jpg400px-Air_Force_One_photo_op_incident-_altered_by_DoDWhy, the prize could even - theoretically - be a ride on Air Force One!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/hammock.jpghammock"Hard to believe just a few days ago I didn't Like The Byronic Man, and I didn't have my job as professional beach-hammock tester."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/bellrings.jpgbellringsAre you calling Zuzu a liar?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/jack-go-back.jpgjack-go-back"WE HAVE TO LIKE THE BYRONIC MAN, KATE!!"2011-12-21T04:12:27+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/13/who-are-you-and-why-are-you-recording-the-hallmark-channel/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/cancel_christmas_premiere.pngcancel_christmas_premiereSeen it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/51zcahkc2gl-_sl500_aa300_.jpg51zcAHKc2GL._SL500_AA300_Seen it. God help me, I've seen it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/lens8292501_1259341173a_dog_named_christmas_mov1.jpeglens8292501_1259341173A_Dog_Named_Christmas_MovSeen it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/220px-jonathan_g_meath_portrays_santa_claus.jpg220px-Jonathan_G_Meath_portrays_Santa_ClausWait a second... if he's so crazy... how did he know about the train I wanted when I was 6 and never got?!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/lens8292501_1259341173a_dog_named_christmas_mov.jpeglens8292501_1259341173A_Dog_Named_Christmas_MovSeen it.2011-12-19T16:39:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/11/thanks-im-touched-baffled-but-touched/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/unknown-1.jpegUnknown-1Great Moments In Strange Giftshttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/unknown.jpegUnknownNo, I don't know why.2011-12-14T14:33:15+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/10/foreverflipper-fooferaw/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/e7ca0b06bang-006.jpge7ca0b06bang-006.jpgI don't know about you guys, but I am just so angry... wait, it passed. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/images1.jpegimages"Lemme hear you say, 'JC Penneeeeeeeyyyyy!!!!'"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/flipper_shirt1.jpegflipper_shirtLess rockin'https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/flipper_shirt.jpegflipper_shirthttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/fish-logo-tee-1.jpegFish-Logo-Tee-1Rockin'2011-12-13T14:14:00+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/08/893/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/recipe-blog-pumpkin.jpgrecipe-blog-pumpkinHot. Very, very hot. Smoking.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/pioneerbutterchurn.jpgPioneerButterChurnDid you see the slide action on that son of a bitch? That thing is frickin' SWEET!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/feralkid.jpgferalkidOi, dad! Watch me take the star off the top of the tree! Wheee! Best Christmas ever!2011-12-20T07:29:21+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/06/omg-rowzbud-is-like-a-sled/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/sixth-sense31-1024x565.jpgsixth-sense31-1024x565"Yeah! Sixth Sense! Pretty sure Willis has been dead the whole time! Yeah!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/psp_004847_1745_cut_b.jpgPSP_004847_1745_cut_bYes, sir, your seat's right down here.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/2002keef.jpg2002keefStill kickin'!2011-12-10T22:09:19+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/04/christmas-songs-youd-like-to-punch-in-their-stupid-faces/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/images.jpegimagesYou feel good about this song, Paul? Do you? Listened to the recording and thought. "That's it. Perfect."?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/tw_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85.jpgtw_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85Really, if Hell isn't like the twist ending of an old Twilight Zone, everyone's going to be pretty let down.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/wookieecomb.jpgwookieecombOh, it's real. 2013-02-05T22:15:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/03/crime-buster-action-update/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/mystery-machine3.jpgmystery-machine3No, that's the Mystery Van. That's how you catch the Crime Vanhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/6a00d8341bfeb753ef00e553a9dc898833-800wi.jpg6a00d8341bfeb753ef00e553a9dc898833-800wiI'd have the cool motorcycle, but Impulse Girl won't let me.2012-07-17T04:07:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/12/01/this-things-going-to-be-on-the-edge-of-edgy-maybe-on-the-edge-of-that/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/edge_1997-tf-org.jpgEdge_1997-tf.orgYou're going to want to stay away from this, too, just on general principle.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/s-viral-videos-best-of-2010-large.jpgs-VIRAL-VIDEOS-BEST-OF-2010-largeBecause if there's one thing edgy, viral videos have: it's staying power.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/youtube-viral-videos01.jpgyoutube-viral-videos01Viral? That's your goal? Really? "Card swiper, card swiper! Fun, fun, fun, fun! Everybody wants a table-side credit card swiper!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/amway_world_structure_p01.jpgamway_world_structure_p01Lady, I got to tell you - that's just not sexy at all. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/25237-gif.jpeg25237.gifYou might want to stay away from U2's The Edge, too, just to be safe.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/p1010023.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAStay away from U2's The Edge, too, just to be safe. (p.s. I totally took this picture)2011-12-06T00:06:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/29/you-cant-spell-vacation-without-relax-well-obviously-you-can-but-you-get-my-meaning/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fs_1462247.jpgfs_1462247The cabin, and a very suspicious looking tree.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fs_14622431.jpgfs_1462243https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fs_1462243.jpgfs_1462243I was thinking about my blog the whole time, I promise.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fs_1462241.jpgfs_1462241The Byronic butt, slightly chilled and thoroughly basted.2011-12-01T15:48:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/27/black-friday-and-you/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/slide_198515_492927_large.jpgslide_198515_492927_largeOh, calm the hell down. It's an etch-a-sketch.2011-11-30T16:37:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/25/a-day-to-give-thanks/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/waffle-copy.pngwaffle-copySee, everyone likes waffles, right? It's... you know... a compliment! Waffles!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/images.jpegimagesI'm thankful that this knife apparently has a heart full of hate for meat products!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/heavenc1.jpgheavenc1Seriously, if you've never seen 1978's Heaven Can Wait...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/af4efa05-1d09-2e94-8f55a22b6cbfaaca.jpgAF4EFA05-1D09-2E94-8F55A22B6CBFAACAWaldorf Salads: Surprisingly soft2011-11-28T01:00:41+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/22/a-very-byronic-anniversary/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/burning-beach.jpgBurning beachI'm sorry I don't know the author. There's a story here, and I want to know it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/3843875187_4045fc4ccb.jpg3843875187_4045fc4ccbI can't not laugh when I look at this picture. Can't do it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/plain-color-helium-balloons.jpgplain-color-helium-balloonsPlease, have a balloon. Cake?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/6a00d8341c630a53ef0162fc0aafe3970d-600wi.jpgThe symbolic seven billionth member of the world population from Sri LankaHey 7 billionth person, born October 30th! As soon as you've figured out how to lift your head on your own power, why not "follow" The Byronic Man?2011-11-27T15:58:12+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/20/your-weekly-question-of-the-week-for-1120/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/wrestlers-111.jpgwrestlers-11Also, of course, the outfits can be a real plus.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/wrestlers-11.jpgwrestlers-11https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/wrestlers-3.jpgwrestlers-32011-11-25T17:20:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/15/dont-forget-your-byronic-man-blog-post-t-shirt/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/25-november-1997-apec-lea-0121.jpg25-November-1997-APEC-lea-012Let's not let free trade enter "The Danger Zone," but instead make deals that "Take My Breath Away." Now who's up for some shirtless beach volleyball?!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/18-november-1998-apec-lea-0142.jpg18-November-1998-APEC-lea-014Let's not let free trade enter "The Danger Zone," but instead make deals that "Take My Breath Away." Now who's up for some shirtless beach volleyball?!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/18-november-1998-apec-lea-0141.jpg18-November-1998-APEC-lea-014https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/18-november-1998-apec-lea-014.jpg18-November-1998-APEC-lea-014https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/25-november-1997-apec-lea-012.jpg25-November-1997-APEC-lea-012https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/19-november-2006-george-b-002.jpg19-November-2006-George-B-002https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/16-october-2000-bill-clin-010.jpg16-October-2000-Bill-Clin-010Does the president of Guam look bad-ass in this shirt? No, he does not. It's all Clinton, baby.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/21-november-2004-george-b-003.jpg21-November-2004-George-B-003Poncho. Poncho. Poncho. HEY! The guy in the back! How DARE HE.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/14-november-2009-apec-sum-009.jpg14-November-2009-APEC-sum-009This has been awesome, guys. And years from now, when I grab this shirt from the rag pile to wash the car or clean up dog vomit, I'll think of you.2011-11-23T00:02:54+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/04/dont-talk-dirty-to-me/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/03ee672.jpg03ee67"Say heaveno to my little friend!" See? With one simple change, at long last you can watch 'Scarface' with your kids without worrying they'll be exposed to inappropriate material! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/03ee671.jpg03ee67"Say heaveno to my little friend!" See? With one simple change, at long last you can watch 'Scarface' with your kids without worrying they'll be exposed to inappropriate material! https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/heaveno3.jpgheaveno3Because, what other social ill could be more important?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/03ee67.jpg03ee67"Say heaveno to my little friend!" See? With one simple change, at long last you can watch 'Scarface' with your kids without worrying they'll be exposed to inappropriate material!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/4092595405_807d239546.jpg4092595405_807d239546Who's an affront to decent people everywhere? You are! Yesh you are! Yesh you are!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/218869980_fe12f0835a.jpg218869980_fe12f0835aDon't touch them! Oh, God, they're everywhere!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/tumblr_lpqkfyt17v1qd7hayo1_250.jpgtumblr_lpqkfyT17V1qd7hayo1_2502011-11-14T14:57:16+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/13/your-weekly-question-of-the-week/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/cm100_j2coif.jpgCM100_J2Coif"Well met, fair lady! Art thou prepared to sup at PF Changs with me this fine e'en?"2011-11-17T14:15:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/11/07/oh-glorious-day-of-the-25th-hour/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/643667931_a465a44e6d.jpg643667931_a465a44e6dhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/1790445138_7034fadf92.jpg1790445138_7034fadf92Oh, Wall Clock. How sad it must be where you are...2011-11-11T18:54:24+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/28/guest-post-over-at-monster-in-your-closet/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/bday-pics.jpgbday picsI know, right? 2011-11-08T18:02:07+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/25/herman-cain-in-2012-because-life-man-its-just-awful-and-disturbing/2011-10-27T01:21:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/17/a-heaping-helping-of-justice-kansas-style/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/justice-symbol-17612.jpgjustice-symbol-17612Topeka: where justice is blind. Reeeeeally blind.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/the_wizard_of_oz-186.jpgTHE_WIZARD_OF_OZ-186What is this strange place, Toto? Where everything's so bright, and magical and someone can face repercussions just for hitting his wife!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/ncpc_logo.pngNCPC_logo"Take a Bite Out Of (the reporting of) Crime!"2011-10-19T13:22:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/14/terrifying-reality-tv-statistics-free-with-every-box-of-thin-mints/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/dn12597-1_700.jpgdn12597-1_700Pictured: 4H headquarters, in Minsk.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/kardashian_sisters.jpgkardashian_sistershttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/girl-scout-main.jpggirl scout main"Damn it, Becky. Your findings are anomalous, yet you're presenting them as somehow quantitative!"2011-10-20T20:23:27+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/11/phase-6-write-blog-entry/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/light.jpglight186,000 miles per second. Oh, you did not remember that.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/comicpearlsbeforeswinesorry-024cd0d32298e439e212f369134a85cd_m.jpgcomic,pearls,before,swine,sorry-024cd0d32298e439e212f369134a85cd_mOkay, it's not "Dennis the Menace," but - seriously - it's one of the most popular comics in America!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/two-dogs-photo.jpgtwo-dogs-photoDisclaimer: No dogs died in the writing of this blog entry. In fact, one got his ears scratched because he's a good boy! Yes, he is!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/shari-lewis-1.jpgshari-lewis-1"All men hate the wretched; how then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things!" - Lamb Chop2011-10-14T16:11:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/10/02/rebel-with-a-versatile-cause/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/wildone1.jpgwildone"What are you blogging against, Byronic Man?" "Whaddya got?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/homersimpson46.pngHomerSimpson46"A marriage starts with a wedding. But what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary defines it as 'The act or process of removing weeds.'" Okay, your turn! Now you do one!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/wildone.jpgwildone"What are you blogging about, Byronic Man?" "Whaddya got?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/2001.jpg2001See? See? There's the head on the left, ridged back, tail off to the right. https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/b606061g-250-tridion-istockphotos_tcm18-68871.jpgb606061g-250-(TRIDION) (iStockphotos)_tcm18-68871Little-known fact: When you win a Nobel prize, you also get a lifetime's supply of dynamite. Free!2011-10-06T13:15:55+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/27/7-reasons-you-should-care-about-the-20th-anniversary-re-issue-of-nirvanas-nevermind/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/tad-busted-lg.jpgDThey were big. And loud. And awesome.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/unknown.jpegUnknownIt was 20 years ago today-ish...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/ccmusic.jpgccmusic2011-10-20T01:51:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/25/its-like-they-say-when-the-toddler-breaks-out-the-teeny-fiddle-things-are-looking-bleak-well-they-should-say-that/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/images1.jpegimagesThey don't even have little baby-sized fiddles? Seriously? And we should listen to there so-called "musicians" why?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/tms-muppets-cast.jpgTms-muppets-castNo, I said "moppets." Though, this would have been impressive, too.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/nails.pngnails2011-10-03T16:17:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/21/your-handy-informative-falling-satellite-survival-guide/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/lard.jpglardThey won't be so happy when they have non left to coat themselves with.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/uars_1.jpgUARS_1If you see something shaped like this coming toward you from above, calmly but quickly move out of the way.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/earth_apollo17.jpgearth_apollo17You need only be concerned if you live somewhere in this area.2011-09-27T14:27:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/18/so-you-want-to-be-a-stand-up-comedian/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/12_22_bob_newhart_32447361.jpg12_22_bob_newhart_3244736Funny.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/46411a1.jpeg46411aMakes people laugh.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/12_22_bob_newhart_3244736.jpg12_22_bob_newhart_3244736Funny.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/46411a.jpeg46411aMakes people laugh.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/logon.giflogon"When you can grab the microphone from my hand, you will be ready."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/flint_car_lot.jpgFlint_Car_Lot"We're running an 'Aspiring Comedian' special, so come on down!"2011-09-23T13:14:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/15/rescuing-han/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/princess_leia_gold_bikini_chained.jpgPrincess_Leia_Gold_Bikini_chainedAnd, Leia, if he sticks you in this fetishistic gold bikini? Well, even better. For the plan, I mean.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/esb_luke73.jpgesb_luke73Whole time, buddy. The whole time I was thinking, 'I hope this surreal nightmare doesn't cause any grief for good old Lando.'2011-09-18T23:17:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/12/the-running-of-the-artists/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/dumbbells-13935.jpgdumbbells-13935"Those? Um, they're part of an art installation. I call it 'Heavy Circles and Bars #4'"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/images.jpegimagesCome on, everyone! Let's try and out run that other spontaneous10k that started over there!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/100_3812.jpg100_3812You'll have to hum the "Chariots of Fire" theme music. Or the "Rocky" theme will do nicely, as well.2011-09-14T18:28:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/08/my-favorite-google-searches/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/4008029_788f196b65.jpg4008029_788f196b65The list of what you CAN do when you have smallpox, however, is surprisingly concise.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/4992941467_f83a4164cf.jpg4992941467_f83a4164cfBecause, really... why?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/133235033_77bbce4e07.jpg133235033_77bbce4e07"Graknor to mother ship! Our cover has been blown!"2011-10-19T00:06:38+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/05/any-sign-is-a-relief-if-youre-lost/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/4129267310_a731e4f7fb.jpg4129267310_a731e4f7fb"C3P0! C3P0! I can't find the Christmas lights anywhere!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/4549533282_0e003a5e06.jpg4549533282_0e003a5e06Yeah, that look.2011-09-07T14:10:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/09/01/welcome-back-teachers/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/3724317388_404be2e52e.jpg3724317388_404be2e52eYour new Health Insurance package! It has gauze!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/4211816634_edd7a631a4.jpg4211816634_edd7a631a4You're going to want to try and get a good 8 or 9 usages out of each wipe.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/5412107321_9374e12faf.jpg5412107321_9374e12fafRemember what happened in Cairo? Now those were big rallies! Let's keep some perspective.2012-01-07T15:22:13+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/28/how-a-poster-led-me-to-flunk-a-maturity-pop-quiz/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/nirvana-poster1.jpgnirvana-posterhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/bild-7521321.jpgbild-752132"Gimme a cuppa joe. With whipped cream. And syrup. And sprinkles. And ice cream. Light on the coffee. Extra chocolate."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/bild-752132.jpgbild-752132"Gimme a cuppa joe. With whipped cream. And syrup. And sprinkles. And ice cream. Light on the coffee. Extra chocolate."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/nirvana-poster.jpgnirvana-poster2011-08-31T16:54:50+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/22/if-i-was-an-american-indian/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/people_start_pollution_-_1971_ad.jpgPeople_Start_Pollution_-_1971_AdThe actor in this iconic advertisement? Italian. True story.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/iowa_indian_casino.jpgiowa_indian_casino"So come on down! Our drinks are made with the finest liquor, and then infected with smallpox!"2011-08-27T02:54:14+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/17/post-from-the-road-2-since-i-had-a-moment/2011-08-17T22:13:46+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/16/post-from-the-road/2011-08-17T05:10:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/13/impractical-magic/2011-08-26T15:26:28+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/10/we-the-jury-find-the-defendant-awesome/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/alg_cooper-mystery_2.jpgalg_cooper-mystery_2Left: the suspect believed to be DB Cooper. FBI sketch on the right. Look at him! He's even wearing a rat-pack skinny tie!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/douglasor05_1nc_o.jpgOR05_1nc_oPictured here: Me (left), DB Cooper (right)2011-08-13T07:41:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/08/06/getting-with-the-times-ha-its-a-pun/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/61784469_1f77438eb3.jpg61784469_1f77438eb3Crazy, isn't it? It's like a manual-powered iPad!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/kate-middleton-prince-william-royal-wedding-photos-6-150x150.jpgkate-middleton-prince-william-royal-wedding-photos-6-150x150I bet they feel pretty foolish for not inviting me to the wedding now!2011-08-26T18:30:40+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/29/quick-hide-in-the-corners-of-the-ocean-no-one-ever-thinks-to-look-there/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/monopoly-box.jpgmonopoly-boxPresumably, the Monopoly movie will be way, way too long, and it will be obvious how it ends 20 minutes in.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/battleship-the-movie-250x180.jpgbattleship-the-movie-250x180We are here to destroy you, puny human, and take over your planet! And for some reason, we've decided to start with the ocean! Perhaps we lack confidence!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/battleship-game.jpgbattleship-gameThe intricacy! The subtlety! It's like Lord of The Rings' Middle Earth or something!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/hungry-hungry-hippos-closeup.jpgHungry-Hungry-Hippos-CloseupLook at the savagery in their eyes. Those hippos... are hungryhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/kitsch-300x225.jpgkitsch-300x225I was in Michael Collins and Schindler's List, sailor! So WHAT am I doing HERE?2011-08-26T14:24:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/27/and-then-there-are-times-i-wish-i-had-my-cats-life-pt-2-of-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/5663404949_6f35838f00.jpg5663404949_6f35838f00I can see why you like this game. It's super interesting.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/14909645_d8eeb39d5d.jpg14909645_d8eeb39d5dSeriously. Is this kashmir? I love it.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/4923383240_b4a86d0027.jpg4923383240_b4a86d0027So then I saw the bug and I was like, BAM. Crushed it. Just wiped it out.2011-08-26T18:27:44+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/25/and-then-there-are-times-i-wish-i-had-my-cats-life-pt-1-of-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/4700514227_31e63a6f451.jpg4700514227_31e63a6f45Okay, who the hell are these people? Play it cool, Byron. Don't move a muscle.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/4700514227_31e63a6f45.jpg4700514227_31e63a6f45https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/3843875187_4045fc4ccb.jpg3843875187_4045fc4ccbOh my God, you are so boring. Why are you so boring? People would be more interested in you if you weren't so unbelievably boring.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/676882554_21986e4d03.jpg676882554_21986e4d03I've got him! HAHAHAAA! But they usually travel in pairs... be wary.2011-07-27T13:37:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/14/there-are-times-i-wish-i-had-my-dogs-life-pt-1-of-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/1227805293_8da21f20ea.jpg1227805293_8da21f20ea"Are you... are you crying?" *Sniff* "No."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/2594344519_bfbcebc28b.jpg2594344519_bfbcebc28bAnd to think some people set an alarm so they won't spend too much time here...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/4329052096_c26fbc5e1e.jpg4329052096_c26fbc5e1eHe'll be back. But I'll be ready. Tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. But not Sunday, for some reason...2011-07-22T15:55:11+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/21/musings-on-the-persistence-of-memory-which-is-also-the-name-of-a-painting-i-might-have-done/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/514qh1qcdel3.jpg514QH1QCDELI wrote this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/514qh1qcdel2.jpg514QH1QCDELI wrote this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/el_tut_img.jpgel_tut_imgOh man, this takes me back.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/514qh1qcdel1.jpg514QH1QCDELI wrote this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/514qh1qcdel.jpg514QH1QCDELI wrote this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/20100614095113catcher-in-the-rye-red-cover.jpg20100614095113!Catcher-in-the-rye-red-coverSalinger's people are pretty litigious, so let me just clarify: I'm pretty sure I did not write this book.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/twain-1880.jpgtwain-1880https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/bar_fight.gifBAR_fight"This brain ain't big enough for both of us, Ego!" "Oh yeah? Well, I've had it with your goody-goody ways, subconscious!" "Oh yeah? 2011-07-25T01:53:22+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/19/space-the-bestest-most-awesome-frontier/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/zero-gravity-water-bubble1.jpgZero-Gravity-Water-Bubble"I see a hippo!" "I see a snowman! Golly, long-distance space travel is fun!" "It sure is. Do you have any more calcium pills?"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/images1.jpegimagesPew! Pew! Pew! "Look out!" Pew! Pew! BOOM! ...aaaand, roll credits.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/images.jpegimagesPew! Pew! Pew! "Look out!" Pew! Pew! BOOM! ...aaaand, roll credits.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/moonraker-battle.gifmoonraker-battleA scene from the 1979 James Bond film "Moonraker." A film mostly remembered for its stark realism.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/moon_flag_full.jpgMOON_Flag_fullWhat the hell is this? It's supposed to say "Property of Byron"!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/zero-gravity-water-bubble.jpgZero-Gravity-Water-Bubble"I see a hippo!" "I see a snowman! Golly, long-distance space travel is fun!" "It sure is. Do you have any more calcium pills?"2011-07-21T13:33:21+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/16/there-are-times-i-wish-i-had-my-dogs-life-pt-2-of-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/612656921_f1d634913b.jpg612656921_f1d634913bNothing to see here. I mean, you wouldn't make an empty sofa take a bath, would you? Of course not!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/3043614681_fca134e92d1.jpg3043614681_fca134e92dOh my God, I just hate him SO MUCH.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/3043614681_fca134e92d.jpg3043614681_fca134e92dOh my God, I just hate him SO MUCH.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/6535864_795baaad14.jpg6535864_795baaad14It's a gift! But, um, can I have it back? It looks pretty good.2011-07-18T12:54:18+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/11/press-conference-excerpt-from-when-i-am-president-4/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/grilling-cartoon1.jpggrilling cartoonLook, mama! I drew daddy unprepared for a mosquito attack! Why didn't daddy get a flame-thrower, mama?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/grilling-cartoon.jpggrilling cartoonLook, mama! I drew daddy unprepared for a mosquito attack!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/unclesam.jpgUncleSamHa ha!... okay, I don't get it. Looks patriotic, though.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/flame_thrower.jpgflame_throwerHooray! The family reunion is saved!2011-07-15T01:20:17+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/05/reflections-on-independence-day/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/blog-4.jpgblog 4Apparently the dog digs it. People have checked.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/6a00d83451c1ce69e201156ef20198970c-800wi.jpg6a00d83451c1ce69e201156ef20198970c-800wiFreedom: Let That Shit Ringhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/fireworks-sparklers.jpgfireworks-sparklersI know it's controversial, but I assert that this is adorable.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/toby-keith-performing-photos.jpgLayout 2Mohandas Gandhi, circa 1941.2011-07-07T03:24:43+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/07/02/brought-to-you-by-times-new-roman-font-when-its-got-to-be-legible-its-got-to-be-times-new-roman/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/koq_kevin_240x260_0928200603371.jpgKoQ_Kevin_240x260_092820060337Yep. A little more like this.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/koq_kevin_240x260_092820060337.jpgKoQ_Kevin_240x260_092820060337Yeah, a little more like this.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/5178232-handsome-middle-age-man-cutting-overgrown-grass-with-old-fashioned-lawn-mower-at-suburban-house.jpg5178232-handsome-middle-age-man-cutting-overgrown-grass-with-old-fashioned-lawn-mower-at-suburban-houseA little more like this...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/harpsichord.jpgharpsichordYou mind if I bang around on this thing for a bit? I'm to get in to character. Yes, I'll be careful with the sushi.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/1264260812fzxhjs.jpg1264260812fzxHJSWow, this cereal is so good, I've forgiven myself for all my mistakes earlier in life!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/343789.jpg343789ACTING!2011-08-26T15:10:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/29/slightly-less-appalling-the-critics-rave/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/power_transformer.jpgPower_TransformerNo, no. Wrong kind of "lines for transformers." But I understand the confusion.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/x13545842.jpgx13545842No, no. Different kind of "lines for transformers." But I understand the confusion.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/samourai.jpgsamouraiFor what it's worth, Le Samourai really is pretty awesome.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/bicyclethief-9849.jpgbicyclethief-9849Every bit as exciting as Transformers. Every bit.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/transformers-3.jpgtransformers-3Drink! Bill? Drink, Bill. Bill? Uh oh.2011-08-26T15:15:33+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/12/01/and-that-ming-mai-is-why-i-pretended-not-to-see-you-at-the-bus-stop/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/stratosphere-hotel-las-vegas-insanity-ride.jpgStratosphere Hotel, Las Vegas: Insanity Ride2011-09-09T02:58:35+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/27/and-yes-i-do-carry-tranq-darts-around-just-in-case-of-socially-awkward-situations/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/killbill.jpgkillbillI said, 'Leave the guy ALONE!'https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/gedde.jpggeddeYou know, I was also on a little show called ER, jerk.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/57453582.jpg57453582https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/images1.jpegimagesWhat's undignified about that?2011-07-01T21:14:37+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/25/i-wrote-the-most-interesting-blog-post-and-you-were-in-it/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/51t6tvxdunl-_sl240_.jpg51T6tVxDunL._SL240_Like a repressed memory, maybe? Of some named Roy? Of cords of wood?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/images.jpegimagesNo, I'm listening. It's like you were watching TV, but then you were in the TV and it was real, and there was a really fast turtle. Yes, it's fascinating.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/3661324122_c815e019fd1.jpg3661324122_c815e019fdThis one's Earl on the beach. Hm? I don't know what's going on behind him. I think a war, or something. This next one's me in the hotel room watching TV...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/3661324122_c815e019fd.jpg3661324122_c815e019fdhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/incognito_book.pngincognito_book2011-06-27T17:18:36+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/18/come-on-canada-you-can-talk-to-us-just-tell-us-what-youre-feeling/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/afc-hammering-diego.jpgAFC-Hammering-DiegoNo, I do NOT yield the floor!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/0616-nhl-stanley-cup-vancouver-riots_full_600.jpg0616-NHL-STANLEY-CUP-vancouver-riots_full_600Seriously, Canada? Seriously?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/canadian-mounties-vs-atomic-invaders-1953.jpgCanadian-Mounties-vs-Atomic-Invaders-1953Remember this? When you beat the atomic martians? Take pride in that!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/web-brosseau_jp_1274500cl-81.jpgWEB-Brosseau_jp_1274500cl-8What was it? What is it about her voters might have been drawn to? Hmmmm...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/web-brosseau_jp_1274500cl-8.jpgWEB-Brosseau_jp_1274500cl-8https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/waterpark.jpgWater ParkSee? Isn't this more fun than rioting, bullying and making absurd election decisions?2011-08-29T15:42:37+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/06/15/how-actor-ian-holm-saved-me-from-alzheimers/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/asparagus1.jpgasparagusLunch time! Now... where's my crossword?https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/asparagus.jpgasparagushttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/bananabread1.jpgbananabread1"This one's for the people of Antler, you Al-Qaeda sumbitches! Come on, I'll give you both barrels!"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/antler2.jpgantler2Oh, thanks a lot, brain.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/ian-holm.jpgActor Ian HolmSure, you knew that.2011-08-25T18:58:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/05/26/when-it-comes-to-apocalypse-predictions-third-times-the-charm/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/entropy.gifentropySee? This should clear things up...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/the-matrix-neo-bullet-time.jpgthe-matrix-neo-bullet-timeAnd, yea, blessed are the bullet-dodgers...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/alg_harold-camping-chair.jpgalg_harold-camping-chairIt's pretty obvious when you think about it.2011-06-24T16:39:49+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/05/17/reflections-on-attending-the-annual-ufo-festival/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/mcminn22.jpgmcminn2Merle ain't in this one...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/mcminn21.jpgmcminn2Merle ain't in this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/mcminn1.jpgmcminn1Prove it isn't! Can't, can you? Didn't think so!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/p1010001.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhat? If you're queen, and you want a space-convertible, you get a space-convertible.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/p10100172.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA*sigh* Fine. If it'll make you happy...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/p10100171.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA*sigh* Fine. If it'll make you happy...https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/mcminn2.jpgmcminn2No, Merle's not in this one.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/p1010017.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA*Sigh* Fine. If it makes you happy...2011-05-19T18:25:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/05/11/wont-someone-please-think-of-the-super-rich-schlock-vendors-for-once/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/425-transformers-malkovich-mcdormand-lc-032210.jpg425.transformers.malkovich.mcdormand.lc.032210"One of these things is not like the others..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/isla-fisher-allure-05.jpgisla-fisher-allure-05Stout... not beautiful...round... sure that sounds righthttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/drug_alcohol_intervention1.jpgdrug_alcohol_intervention"Hollywood, I love you, but it hurts me when you make things like 'Terminator: Salvation.'"https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/drug_alcohol_intervention.jpgdrug_alcohol_intervention"Hollywood, I love you, but it hurts me when you make things like 'Terminator: Salvation.'"2011-06-13T15:17:08+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/04/26/operation-dessert-storm/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/exps37172_th1115229d45c.jpgexps37172_TH1115229D45Chttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/coconut_log__25334_zoom.jpgcoconut_log__25334_zoomhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/bake_sale_.jpgBake_Sale_This,corporal, is how the job gets done.2011-04-27T13:13:58+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/04/17/tonight-at-11-could-reading-blogs-give-you-small-pox/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/stormteam8.jpgstormteam8Wait, does this mean they're 2 better than Storm Team 6? Oh no! I'm watching the wrong one!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/collapsed-bridge_3_600x450.jpgcollapsed-bridge_3_600x450"Now turn on your hazard lights. Good..."https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/images.jpegStar Trek"Rain cloud off the port side, cap'n!"2011-10-27T20:51:45+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/04/14/maybe-theyll-put-product-placement-in-it/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/bill_hicks_image.jpgBill_Hicks_image2011-04-16T14:51:53+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/11/08/come-on-in-and-have-a-seat-thanks-for-being-here-everyone-comfortable-excellent/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/balloons_450x350.jpgballoons_450x350Okay, see? Too many.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/plain-color-helium-balloons.jpgplain-color-helium-balloonsVery nice.2013-04-01T14:40:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/12/20/a-very-prufrock-christmas/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/6501246-md1.jpgragged clawsscuttle, scuttle, scuttlehttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/the-peach.jpgthe-peachDare! Dare!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/6501246-md.jpgRagged Clawsscuttle, scuttle, scuttle2011-03-31T13:45:23+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/02/01/and-with-that-back-to-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/484143001_ac63a908c1.jpg484143001_ac63a908c1"You win this round, Microwave Beeper..."2011-04-17T00:31:10+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/12/12/they-can-also-scoff-sneer-and-snort-sarcastically/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/239868693_b2fab484ff1.jpgSmirking Cathttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/239868693_b2fab484ff.jpgsmirking cat2011-07-14T14:52:52+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/11/24/well-sir-if-youre-going-to-bring-nice-leather-luggage-youre-going-to-get-claw-marks/2011-03-31T13:42:09+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/12/16/press-conference-excerpt-from-when-i-am-president-2/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/mission_to_mars_5.jpgmission to mars2012-07-09T12:46:02+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2010/12/30/the-acronym-scourge-of-our-times-okay-probably-not-scourge/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/mri_wordle4.gifmri_wordle42011-03-31T13:37:03+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/01/12/how-many-other-great-recommendations-were-lost-to-the-czech-accent/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/2946311500_497780587d.jpg2946311500_497780587dhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/smm3234.jpg_SMM3234https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/b9c327da1c5cdd7a2eec71346c83453243048db4_l.jpgb9c327da1c5cdd7a2eec71346c83453243048db4_l2011-03-31T13:36:00+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/02/09/cry-havoc-and-unleash-the-inner-andy-rooney/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/breastcellsweb.jpgbreastcellswebhttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers1.jpgInvasion-Of-The-Body-Snatchers1You're next! You're next!2011-04-16T16:15:34+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/02/18/press-conference-excerpt-from-when-i-am-president-3/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/02-25-09-burris1.jpgCongress, Killing TimeSee? They're fine!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/02-25-09-burris.jpgCongress, killing timeSee? They're fine!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/firefly-4.jpgfirefly-4Nobody, that's who.2012-06-17T15:02:25+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/03/01/when-you-have-a-nemesis-words-like-shant-becomes-necessary/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/unknown1.jpegCarrotsBut I knew where to find more carrots! Victory is mine!!https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ernststavroblofeld.jpgErnstStavroBlofeldErnst, from the produce Co-op.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/unknown.jpegUnknown2011-10-15T01:38:59+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.com/2011/03/22/reflections-on-attending-%e2%80%9c80%e2%80%99s-video-dance-attack%e2%80%9d-at-the-domino-room/https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/2500344431_a4a9618af9.jpg2500344431_a4a9618af9This is the least absurd, arbitrary image in the entirety of the "Blue Monday" videohttps://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/0.jpgAnyone who says it's NOT tricky to rock a rhyme that's right on time is just lying.https://thebyronicman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/0-1.jpg0-1In the middle of our street...2011-04-17T16:11:30+00:00monthlyhttps://thebyronicman.comdaily1.02024-04-22T22:23:31+00:00