Interview With The Spammer

July 15, 2013

Humor

I’ve been feeling reflective lately and, I thought it might be fun to select a subscriber at random and get to know them a little better, and – by extension – let you get to know them.  So, please enjoy my interview here with, um, “$exxyShoozCheapPh@rmacy”.

First off, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you subscribing.  How, may I ask, did you come across my site?

I’m watching you, Brussels. I don’t know why, but I am.

Hi there, just turned into aware of your blog through Google, and located that it is truly informative. I am going to watch out for Brussels. I will appreciate if you happen to continue this in future. Many folks might be benefited out of your writing.

Oh.  Okay.  Thanks. I think many folks might be benefited out of you, too.  And you’re from Brussels?

Lucky me I found your website accidentally, and I am stunned why this coincidence didn’t came about in advance! I bookmarked it.

We’ll just assume you’re from Brussels.  That’s nice of you to bookmark me..  So, tell us a little about yourself.  What do you do for a living?

Thats some nice information.  I would like to read more about it. computer repair computer repair computer repair computer repair computer repair computer repair computer repair repair pc web seo services

What was it you said you did? Something with computers? Don’t be shy.

Wow, you seem very enthusiastic about your work!   That’s always nice to see.  What about leisure time?  What kinds of things do you enjoy?

I pauperism to start to all a immense movie. Induct debate about it. Tumble to it on [url=http:/camera-tv.cam]show site.

“Shopperism”?  “Fopperism”? I don’t see a lot of hip-hop being done about Fops and paupers, though. And hip-hop’s the worse for it, I think.

You… pauperism?  Is that slang?  I might be getting kind of out of it.  That’s cool, though.  Is it hip-hop?  I don’t know what would rhyme with “pauperism.”  I always thought “Fie” should make a comeback.  You know in Shakespeare when people say “Fie upon thee, Iago!” or whatever?  People could say, “Say what?  Have lunch at Arby’s?  Fie on that!”  Wouldn’t that be cool?

Definitely imagine that that you said. Your favourite reason appeared to be at the web the easiest factor to take note of. I say to you, I certainly get irked even as other folks consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest as smartly as outlined out the whole thing with no need side-effects, folks could take a signal.

If everyone just took five minutes out of their day to take a signal, imagine the difference we could make.

They sure could.  Folks… folks could take a signal.  You’re hitting the nail upon the highest smartly on that one.  Ha.  Yep.  So… Have you discovered any other blogs you like through my site?

Aw, this was a very nice post. In thought I want to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and precise effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and not at all seem to get one thing done.
  Cheap Ci@lis generic!  Via$ra!

I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow you.  Uh, what I’m wondering is –

Hello my family member! I want to say that this article is amazing, great written and include approximately all important infos.

Okay, fine, yes, thanks.  I work hard on my infos.  But it’s almost like you’re not listening to—

Disgrace! Disgrace on the search engines! Fie on them!

That is the type of info that are meant to be shared around the net. Disgrace on the search engines for not positioning this publish higher! Come on over and consult with my site . Thank you =)

Um. Yes.  Thank you, too.  Let’s call it good there, shall we?

I hope everyone has enjoyed getting to know SxyShoozCheapPharmacy.  Thanks to this wonderful subscriber, but – most of all –  thanks to all of you for making this site what it is.

*

(p.s. Yes, these are all real comments from my spam folder)

Advertisements
, , , ,

About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

View all posts by The Byronic Man

Subscribe

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

68 Comments on “Interview With The Spammer”

  1. Nikitaland Says:

    I totally believe you that they are REAL comments, because I receive them too! This guy gets around! LOL

    Reply

  2. Zen A. Says:

    Ha, that was brilliant. Very creative way of handling spam. I especially liked his enthusiasm for computer repair! 😉

    Reply

  3. Renee B-W Says:

    I had a spam comment on my blog that, before directing me to a discount pharmaceuticals site, gently berated me for the fact that my poor grammar and spelling needed attention as s/he could hardly read my post. The fact that 1) I am a grammar pedant and 2) the spam post was written in very poor English just made it rankle more!

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I got that EXACT same one yesterday. I wanted to respond to ask what, precisely, the strategy is there. “Hi! Good morning! Those pants make you look fat, and your haircut is ridiculous. Nothing you’re wearing matches! Now: which car would would you like to test drive?”

      Reply

  4. Elyse Says:

    I think he follows me, too!

    Reply

  5. Soma Mukherjee Says:

    Oh man this was one of the best funniest write up I read in a long long time..
    and hey -[ The made you do not turn back. That is made, is made.
    And I have faced it. Let’s discuss this question. Here or in PM.
    I precisely know, what is it — an error.
    It is a pity, that now I can not express – it is compelled to leave. I will return – I will necessarily express the opinion on this question.
    I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. I am assured. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will discuss]

    Reply

  6. angelajardine Says:

    I thought I recognised some of these comments …
    Loved this, BM … such a clever idea to make use of the sweepings from the spam cage.

    Reply

  7. Go Jules Go Says:

    Like fun we’re going to Arby’s! 100% agreed on fie.

    Reply

  8. thefoodandwinehedonist Says:

    Love this. I’ve been getting a ton with Chinese (?) characters as well as Russian. And I’ve also had a recent flood of new followers who I’m 99% sure are not real. No name like online pharmacy, but just fishy. Or phishy. Not sure if I am able to or want to delete them as a follower, though.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I know, that’s the salt in the wound isn’t it? It’s not a real follower AND they force you to acknowledge a shallow side, because you think, “well, it bumps my follower # up…”

      Reply

  9. Is Everyone an Idiot but Me? Says:

    I agree, a creative way to handle spam. Thank you for turning your spam into my entertainment for the morning!

    Reply

  10. Snoring Dog Studio Says:

    Please. These are my friends and followers. They aren’t fluent English speakers – heck, they make no sense at all, but I feel like they’ve become family. Can’t wait for Christmas!

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      That’s always my fear, that I’ll tag someone as spam and/or make fun of them, and then find out they’re just struggling with English and like to use the thesaurus button a lot.

      Reply

  11. becomingcliche Says:

    What can I say except that I am jealous of your true fan. And I am totally bringing “fie” back.

    Reply

  12. mistyslaws Says:

    My favorite is apple Fie a la mode.

    Reply

  13. Lorna's Voice Says:

    Valiant effort. I’ve recently gotten quite a few spam messages in Japanese. Those are really hard to understand. But they are pretty to look at…

    Reply

  14. speaker7 Says:

    I really liked this post and all its infos, but I fear my words can’t express my gratitude enough so if you don’t mind, I’d like to quote Prada Handbags: “I sigh in sorrow a , dare feeling I trip and fall down, silly of but is to pure.All when, also do what have no language to ask heaven, take me for small literature youth year?However I still kept depending on to talk darling to raise a head and fell of…”

    Reply

  15. rossmurray1 Says:

    I have real conversations like this all the time with IT guys and SEO experts.

    Reply

  16. Jackie Cangro Says:

    Wait. I thought I was special. I thought “$exxyShoozCheapPh@rmacy” was following only me.

    Reply

  17. rachelocal Says:

    Fee Fie Fo Fum…

    Reply

  18. Vanessa-Jane Chapman Says:

    We’re all talking about spam at the moment, my last post was about spam too! And I’ve seen a couple of others. My favourite spam related story was from a fellow blogger a couple of weeks ago, she received a spam comment saying that the person had been in despair, about to end their life and then they had come across her post and it had made them want to go on living – this comment was put on a post she had done just letting people know that the book she had written was going to be available on special offer for two weeks! Ha! I told her that her writing obviously had greater power than she realised!

    Reply

  19. Bethylicious Says:

    A.) I think I peed a little reading this.
    B.) Literacy. LITERACY!! I’ll be stressing this to my kids should they become spammers in the future. I’m teaching them to aim high.

    Reply

  20. on thehomefrontandbeyond Says:

    I recognize them. Each and every one. Good interview.

    Reply

  21. Ashley Austrew Says:

    Best use of spam comments ever.

    Reply

  22. silkpurseproductions Says:

    Brilliant use of spam, I must say. Actually, the only other use I can think of is a Spam sandwich and then that would come in a can not a computer.

    Reply

  23. pfstare Says:

    I’m still being lumped in with the likes of Sexxyshoes. I was sure I was more literate than her but it seems not. I better go for that computer repair job….

    Reply

  24. Michael Says:

    I for one am glad someone else is getting irked by folks considering worries that they plainly do not know about. That’s a problem.

    Reply

  25. Eagle-Eyed Editor Says:

    I had one of them that spammed me, and quoted excerpts from my own blog post to do it. I had to laugh.

    Reply

  26. UndercoverL Says:

    Beautiful take on the spam folder contents! I am so impressed! I would like for to share with some peoples who are not knowing much about theses topics. Yeah, man, I just said that.

    Reply

  27. Southern Sea Muse Says:

    Your mostest excellent publishment brought myriad mirth and benefitment, and ought set to be Newly Ironed on WordIron. Pleasant toil, friend!

    Reply

  28. sarah9188 Says:

    Be jealous that the UK casino gamers spam me repeatedly. Last time I checked, we were talking about one-armed bandits, which had nothing to do with my post but very interesting nonetheless. Mostly spammers flatter me in broken English so I let them hang around.

    Reply

  29. Sandy Sue Says:

    I always wonder if there’s some sort of word generator unrolling this blather electronically. I imagine Sir Spamalot in a basement with this device, hitting thousands of blogs a minute. Jus’ like a spider.

    Reply

  30. She's a Maineiac Says:

    OK, look. I’ll be straight with you. We’ve known each other a long time, right? No? Well, anyway. I’m gonna steal your post idea. Well, let’s just say I’m “borrowing” it. Not really.

    But I’m doing an “interview” of sorts, not with a spammer like you did. No, I wouldn’t be so cruel to steal your ENTIRE idea! oh ho ho! But yeah, I guess I’m asking you to forgive me for kinda sorta but not really taking your hilarious interview idea and running with it. In a completely different direction. I might mention a certain sexxxyshoozepharma blogger as well.

    Did I mention I love you? Well, I do. In a strictly “bloggy” way, of course.

    Thanks for your time.

    Reply

  31. Teepee12 Says:

    Yep. I’m pretty sure I have the same fan. Several of them. Cheap Viagra! YES!!

    Reply

  32. pegoleg Says:

    You’re feeling “reflective?” I get that word confused. If you’re pondering the mysteries of why the leg kicks up when the knee is hit with a hammer, is that being “reflexive?” Or “genuflective” when you’re thinking about church and why we don’t go more often?

    Just wanted to say thank you for your ongoing work at providing approximately all important infos. That’s the milkshake that keeps bringing ME to your yard.

    Reply

  33. Maria Says:

    Priceless! Once again you shoot straight from the hip – saying we all want to say but don’t. TYVM!

    Reply

  34. Dale Long Says:

    Oh, she is such a tramp! I thought we had something special only to find out she has not only been leaving the same comments on your site, but also on just about everyone else’s. AND, to make matters worse, she is not a a she but a he.

    I feel so used.

    I am so writing her a stern worded e-mail.

    Reply

  35. Brainy Pint Sizer Says:

    Wow…to think, it seems we know the same people! Well, at least, the same people are attracted to our blogs by the comments. Who knew? Spammers….

    Reply

  36. wade@avoiceformyson.com Says:

    I like to mess with the scammers. Tell them that I deposited their check and give them a made up western union #. They freak out, it’s great.

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Interview With The Spammer | Integrating The Multifaceted Being - July 15, 2013

    […] Interview With The Spammer. […]

Every Time You Leave A Comment, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: