Tag Archives: media

History’s Greatest People: They’re All Awful

February 24, 2014


Yes, that is a single tear running down statue-Cobain's cheek.  It's meant to represent the kind of maudlin, faux- sentimentality that showed up in his music never.

On Friday, the city of Aberdeen, Washington announced “Kurt Cobain Day” and unveiled a statue of the deceased rock legend.  The mayor hopes this will make Aberdeen “the next Graceland,” and I think there’s about a 100% chance of that coming true. What was really amazing, though, was TV’s King 5 news’ hugely snide, sarcastic, […]

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We Are Better Than This.

March 19, 2013



By now you may have heard about the guilty verdict given in the horrifying Steubenville rape trial.  You may also have heard the disgust at the manner in which it’s been reported. Here’s the CNN clip on the verdict: You know, you think we’ve evolved past this – both the callousness of the crime, and […]

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Shark Week: Inspiring More Fear Than Actual Sharks Do For Over 20 years

August 13, 2012


Did you know that sharks have 6 senses, instead of 5?  Yeah, well, you wouldn't be thinking about that when their teeth slice through your rib cage like 50 Ginsu knives!

I love sharks. Love them. I do not love Shark Week.  In honor of the Discovery Channel re-airing its Shark Week, I re-offer my examination of TV’s most prestigious week.  Oh, you have not read it before. So, why do I think Shark Week on The Discovery Channel is just so, so ridiculous? Well, because… […]

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Sometimes, The Best You Can Do Is Just Get Out Of The Way.

August 1, 2012


This is a real headline from yesterday’s Guardian Online: “Romney Campaign Attacks Media: Mitt Romney and his staff lash out at media coverage of his inept, error-strewn overseas trip.” I love this headline so much.  I was about halfway through writing a mildly funny thing of Romney accusing the media of maligning him in the fashion […]

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Well, That’s “News” To Me

June 27, 2012


I wound up seeing the morning “news” while waiting for a ride in a lobby yesterday.  The stories?  A guy was filling his gas tank and playing with a lighter and set himself on fire.  A man pushed a woman out of a moving car.  There was a fire at an old folks home, and […]

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#OMG Rowzbud Is, Like, A Sled!

December 6, 2011


Movie theaters have, as everyone knows, grown more and more desperate to lure people back to theaters in recent years.  Attendance has particularly dropped as home theaters have grown more sophisticated and less full of awful people who won’t shut up and oh my god seriously you’re going to answer your phone?  During the finale? […]

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This Thing’s Going To Be On The Edge Of Edgy – Maybe On The Edge of THAT!

December 1, 2011


I’m currently getting ready to direct a commercial; right now it ‘s in the planning stages.  It’s a low budget ad, just for the Internet.  It’s for this thing that you can use in restaurants where you swipe your card at the table instead of the waiter taking the card and running away and buying […]

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Don’t Talk Dirty To Me

November 4, 2011


Good citizens of the Byroniverse!  Stop talking!  Stop talking immediately!  With every word you say you quite possibly push yourself closer to eternal damnation!  You sully the very goodness of the world!  Oh, I knew language was opening the door to trouble, but I had no idea it hid such filth and vulgarity within its […]

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Herman Cain in 2012: Because Life, Man, It’s Just Awful And Disturbing

October 25, 2011


Excerpts from the filming session for Herman Cain’s latest political advertisement, which many media outlets are calling “the worst campaign ad of all time.”   “Okay, now, lots of candidates, they get celebrity endorsements.  Or political endorsements.  Or endorsements of regular, photogenic Americans.  But I’m seeing you, Mark Block.  Because Americans want to know how […]

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Terrifying Reality TV Statistics: Free With Every Box of Thin Mints

October 14, 2011


A study conducted by the Girl Scout Research Institute (which is apparently a real place, where I doubt there are serious-looking women walking around with clipboards while wearing the little uniform) has concluded that girls who watch awful reality TV shows have worse images of themselves and beliefs about how to behave as women.  I […]

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Getting With The Times (Ha! It’s A Pun!)

August 6, 2011


I recently wrote a guest post over at the always compelling, entertaining and engaging Worst Professor Ever, and the post got tweeted by The Times (you see, in England, they still have a few remaining “news papers” – which are like news web sites that have been printed off for you; I know, clever, right?), […]

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