Tag Archives: Dogs

This Valentine’s Day, Say It With A Giant, Overwhelming, Probably Insane Gesture

February 7, 2013

39 Comments

No, "Night We Saw That Comet"!  That's... well, I guess the other shoe's already a goner.

Hello, sweetie!  Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you.  Close your eyes.  No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in.  No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine.  Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe.  Those kids smoking over there […]

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A Beagle By Any Other Name…

March 27, 2012

60 Comments

People get kind of silly around babies and pets, don’t they?  Babies?  Fine.  All bets are off.  It’s like some biological imperative to let the baby know we’re not a threat by acting ridiculous.  Pets, though, people fall in to two rigid camps: ‘Getting Cutesy With Your Pets is Idiotic’ and “Mr. Barkington doesn’t see […]

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Love Is In The Air. Also Smoke. And The Smell Of Wet Dog.

February 14, 2012

32 Comments

Hello, sweetie!  Wait, don’t come in, I have Valentine’s surprises aplenty waiting for you.  Close your eyes.  No cheating! Okay, I’ll lead you in.  No, just leave your things out here on the stoop; they’ll be fine.  Yes, I know your laptop is in your bag, it’ll be perfectly safe. Aaaaand, a step up, a […]

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Fly Free, Like The Eagle! And Sniff Free, Like The Wiener Dog! And So on!

January 8, 2012

39 Comments

I remember when I was a kid and learned how bees see the world.  I thought, “How funny that bees don’t see things like they really are, like we do.”  A moment passed.  A synapse fired.  Then I thought, “Wait a second… What if we don’t see the world the way it really is?”  Another […]

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The Adventures of Stoic Man and Impulse Girl

November 11, 2011

31 Comments

"When we get to the border just play it cool, because we don't have passports."

Hey, everyone, how are things?  How’s your week?  Anything interesting happen?  Uh-huh.  Uh-huh.  Uh-huh.  Wow, that’s great but Oh my god listen to what happened to me! So, my mother-in-law has gone out of town for a few days, and we’ve been taking care of her house – feeding the pets, picking up mail, feeding […]

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There Are Times I Wish I Had My Dog’s Life (pt. 2 of 2)

July 16, 2011

12 Comments

*When we last left Byron, he was alone at home. M had gone to work, and he was unsure she’d ever return, or if he’d have to spend his days sleeping, staring out the window, and guarding against the postal carrier.* LIVING ROOM – DAY (Byron is on the couch.  Again he leaps up, but […]

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There Are Times I Wish I Had My Dog’s Life (pt. 1 of 2)

July 14, 2011

7 Comments

BEDROOM – MORNING (Byron is sprawled horizontally across the bed asleep in his pajamas.  M [Byron’s wife? Significant other? Alpha? Food Lady?] is fussing about, getting dressed and trying to find keys) M: It’s time to get up. (Byron leaps from the bed and bolts from the room at a full sprint) KITCHEN – MORNING […]

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