Ah, I see that you, Australian artist Emma hack, are working on another “automobile made of painted people.”  There’s also those Canadian Ford ads doing something similar. Tough stuff, getting the right people for something like that.  Got to go for the top tier of models.  Sure, the people you got for the previous one […]

I’ve been looking over your case and, I have to tell you, I think it looks very strong.  With my help, not only will you be hailed as a hero, but we’ll both get very rich. Ah, but perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself.  I know there are lawyers just everywhere, so why, you might […]

Honestly, I can’t imagine much harder than giving a political concession speech.  To put that much of yourself in to something, that much money that much time, and then to lose and have to walk out in front of the cameras right then – not even get a day to drink a bottle of tequila, […]

Okay.  So.  Well.  The political conventions are over and, I’ll be honest, I was a little hurt that neither party made me their presidential candidate for the upcoming election.  I know the two main candidates have gotten a lot of hype and media attention, and I’ve decided that the problem is that I haven’t made […]

Well, summer is shifting to its latter half now, with the coming of August.  And with it, the realization that there just isn’t enough time for all those lazy days, those projects, and those trips as you always think there will be.  Also, it’s time for Hollywood to begin the slimy, crass calculations to determine […]

You have a lot of choices about who you see for you medical needs, and – of course – when it comes to your health, you want the very best.  And that’s me.  Yes, I realize the “in the box” thinkers will tell you that you should see someone who’s been to “medical school” and […]

Lately, in this election year, we see more and more talk about the need for employment, as well as a lot of talk about fair taxation.  Many argue the solution lies in focusing our attention on – not the “rich,” how dare you use that term?  That’s a hateful term.  The solution lies in liberating […]

The Supreme Court seems to be having some trouble lately.  Justices not showing up for work, having inadequate experience, sitting there silently for 6-year spans of time (that would be Thomas).  Maybe they need some new blood.  Someone to shake things up.  Someone who would bring a new approach to law. Someone like me. Why […]

SEAL Team 6, you may recall, is the unit that stormed Osama bin Laden’s compound and killed him.  You may have also seen that they recently rescued to hostages who’d been held by Somali pirates since October.  This is so amazingly bad-ass, that I have decided that I should be part of their team.  But, […]

Okay, so, you might be saying to yourself that I’m a little late to be applying for the job of North Korea’s Supreme Leader.  That Kim Jong-Il has died and after much build up, appointed his son, Kim Jong-Un, as successor (though most likely, he did those two things in the opposite order).  And you […]

Dear NASA, I read this morning that you are currently taking applications to be an astronaut.  I was under the impression you were making a lot of cutbacks so I’m not sure how this is possible, but I stopped reading after the “Now Hiring” part because I wanted to get my resume in right away. […]