Archive | Humor RSS feed for this archive

Operation: Dessert Storm

December 1, 2014

22 Comments

exps37172_TH1115229D45C

It will be a great day when schools have all the funding they need, and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber. – bumper sticker. Excuse me, sir?  Sir?  Would you be interested in some shortbread?  Lemon bar?  The lemon bars are fresh, sir; why, private Williams here got them […]

Continue reading...

The Byronic Man: Now At One With The Universe!

November 10, 2014

62 Comments

Hey! Hi! It’s me! I’m here! Now, you might be trying to remember who I am, or you might be saying, “Dude, it’s been, like, 2 months since you’ve posted.” And, first off, you’re calling me ‘dude’? But secondly, that may be the case – I would not know, since I have become spiritually enlightened […]

Continue reading...

Fight Club: The Complete Rules

August 18, 2014

83 Comments

Oh, that's right, we're also expanding in to Fight-PIlates on Wednesdays and Friday mornings.

You do not talk about Fight Club YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. If someone says stop, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Only 2 guys to a fight. One fight at a time. No shirt, no shoes. Fights will go on as long as they have to. If this is […]

Continue reading...

Time-Travel and Fish Vengeance: They Just Don’t Mix

July 28, 2014

45 Comments

Oh, Time Cop, right, the one with the splits and the cupboard... that one.

This is a recent, and real, posting on Craigslist, here where I live.  I’ve kept it exactly as is, except for removing information which might reveal identity or contact information: In need of a time travel companion (please take this seriously) I have a functioning time machine I know it sounds unbelievable, but “I assure […]

Continue reading...

Make It A 4th Of July No One Will Ever, Ever, Ever Forget!

July 1, 2014

21 Comments

Well, the fourth of July is coming up, and you know what that means: that on Friday people all over these United States will only have five more days until my birthday! But it’s also Independence Day.  And whether you’re planning a get-together or just wanting to enjoy the fireworks with friends and family, there are […]

Continue reading...

Rejected Novel Titles: Revealed!

June 23, 2014

38 Comments

Title: Eat, Pray, Love ; Rejected Title: Read, Binge, Sulk Title: 100 Years Of Solitude; Rejected Title: 100 Years of People With The Same Name So You Can’t Keep Track Of Squat  Title: The Great Gatsby; Rejected Title: How Gatsby Got His Groove Back (and then got shot in a swimming pool) Title: Things Fall […]

Continue reading...

5 Steps To Being Liked By All Those Stupid, Crappy Jerks Who Think They’re Better Than You

June 9, 2014

41 Comments

Slide4

It can seem so hard, sometimes, to get people to like you.  But with a few simple tricks, you can get anyone to like you, because people are such easily manipulated idiots! (Note: don’t tell them they’re idiots who are easily-manipulated.  Maybe that should be #6…) 1. People like to hear their name said to […]

Continue reading...

If Kids’ Stories Were Internet Headlines…

May 19, 2014

41 Comments

#8 - people don't usually cackle and rub their hands together as you eat if the apple ISN'T poisoned.

The itsy-bitsy spider went up a water-spout – and then things got crazy. This little girl found 3 bowls of porridge. What she did next made me cry. This dog, Carl, is freaking AWESOME. This guy grew a beanstalk up to the clouds using this one crazy trick! 18 things wicked women do that drive […]

Continue reading...

13.1 Things To Know For Your First Half-Marathon

May 6, 2014

42 Comments

See?  Look how happy I look.  I don't?  Oh.  Well, I am.

So, as some of you may know, I love running. I just genuinely love it. I’m no expert at it, or champion, or anything but I really like it. And now my good friend Jules over at Go Jules Go is a couple weeks away form embarking on her first half-marathon. And though I’m no […]

Continue reading...

How – Really – To Fold A Fitted Sheet

May 1, 2014

26 Comments

Elegance At Home, With Your Host: The Byronic Man!

Continue reading...

Oh Boy! My Mortgage Holder Is Merging With Another Bank! Eeeeeeeee!

April 28, 2014

27 Comments

Pictured here: recent merger of United Federal Trust - oh, no, wait; that's Mardi Gras!  Common  mix-up.

Dear Valued Mortgage Holder: We are very pleased to inform you that we are currently in the process of merging with another bank. This will offer many exciting, new possibilities for the future. First off, thanks for saying I’m valued. I don’t want to make this weird, but I’ve been feeling pretty unappreciated lately, and […]

Continue reading...
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 12,974 other followers