On Friday, the city of Aberdeen, Washington announced “Kurt Cobain Day” and unveiled a statue of the deceased rock legend. The mayor hopes this will make Aberdeen “the next Graceland,” and I think there’s about a 100% chance of that coming true.
What was really amazing, though, was TV’s King 5 news’ hugely snide, sarcastic, and dismissive coverage of it, which began with the description of Kurt Cobain as “a famous heroin addict who shot himself.”
Hm. Mmmm… yeah, there were those things… but… hm… I swear there was some other thing he did… some… thing… think, think, think… what was it? Huh. Oh, well; whatever. Never mind.
The point is, if this is how we’re going to start remembering people now, there’s going to be a lot of history to revisit…
George Washington: A famous depressive who ate wood.
Jesus of Nazareth: Famous cult leader and convicted felon.
Salvador Dali: A renowned sexual-deviant who drank to excess.
Ernest Hemingway: An impotent cross-dresser who shot himself.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Dude in a wheelchair.
Joan of Arc: Well-known schizophrenic who convinced people to die for her.
Orson Welles: Broke, fat guy who made wine commercials.
Albert Einstein: Disheveled “one-hit wonder” of science who peaked before he was 30.
Socrates: Famous hobo and wise-ass who willingly drank poison.
Martin Luther King Jr: Womanizing criminal who was always blathering on about his dreams.
William Shakespeare: Famous plot-plagiarizer who deserted his family.
Martin Luther: Vandal.