During his time as host of The Tonight Show, Jay Leno made 4,607 jokes about Bill Clinton, 795 jokes about OJ Simpson, 505 jokes about Michael Jackson, and 454 jokes about Monica Lewinsky. – Finding by the Center for Media And Public Affairs
Hour 1 – Alright! Got a job! Cataloging Leno’s jokes won’t change the world, I suppose, but getting paid to just watch comedy? This is going to be great! It’ll be fun to see how he’s aged and changed.
Hour 4 – Turns out I just watched the wrong tape. I was supposed to be watching 1993 and it was 1998. I didn’t even notice until I realized Ross Perot hadn’t come up in a while.
Hour 9 – You know, dude, OJ did kill two people.
Hour 12 – Did I already watch this one? I swear I’ve heard this. I’d check but I don’t dare go backwards.
Hour 14 – I feel strangely hung over. Sleeping last night, the blanket came off me, and Kevin Eubanks kept saying, “That’s cold. That’s cold. That’s cold.”
Hour 17 – I think my eyes have gone numb. Is that a thing? Does that happen? Does anyone know? D’ja hear about this? Eyes going numb? D’ja hear about that?
Hour 18 – Wow. Just passed 1,200 Bill Clinton jokes. Surely we must be about done with those, though, right?
Hour 20 – OKAY, HE GOT A BLOW JOB. LET IT GO.
Hour 23 – Oh, Christ, the Lorena Bobbit thing just happened. I’m going to need some whiskey for this gauntlet.
Hour 29 – How much am I getting paid for this?
Hour 34 – Ahhhhh. George W. Bush jokes. Thank god. It’s like I’ve been washed clean.
Hour 38 – AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He just said that Al Gore’s blaming Michael Jackson’s skin-whitening on GLOBAL WARMING! It’s funny on SO MANY LEVELS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Maybe he should take it before Judge Ito! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Hour 42 – All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ. All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ. All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ. All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ. All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ. All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ. All Clinton and no Bobbit make Jay a dull OJ.
Hour 51 – Humor. It is an illusion. A vagary of forced optimism in the face of meaningless banality. Do I laugh because there is order to the universe? Because there is only chaos and I see it? Or because the set-up, beat, punch and audience laughing to the sign that tells them to declares that I must? Only the slave’s laugh is real, for he at least knows he is a slave.
Hour 52 – You know what I could go for? A quesadilla. Mmmmm. Quesadilla.
Hour 53 – Please stop telling the same jokes! I’m begging you! I’m begging you! I can no longer understand the passage of time! I’ve forgotten my name! I can smell colors! I can’t produce saliva!
Hour 56 – It’s done. It is done. I shall turn in these numbers and be free. And the world will know. And they will thank me. And I will make a mental note to find a different job before Letterman retires.