“Join the Take ‘N Bake Revolution!” – Papa Murphy’s Pizza flyer left at our house.
Day 152: I know we must continue to work in the shadows, but at times my rage is barely containable. I watch these people deceived by the mindless convenience of the oppressive “delivery” system under which we toil. It pains me not to speak out, but I know there is always suffering in war. And this is a war – not a battle. Someday they will be free. Someday.
Day 158: The Domino’s delivery guy followed me home again. As usual, he made a silly show of “delivering” his totalitarian opiate to the government stooges posing as stoner college students 3 doors down. I am not fooled.
Day 166: Saw a couple buying dough in the grocery store today, along with peppers and tomatoes. They spoke of “making their own pizza” and how “fresh everything would be.” I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly in their deluded faces. Fools. Fools.
Day 189: Papered the neighborhood with pamphlets trying to bring people’s awareness to our cause. Worked under the cover of darkness. I know it was a risk, but I can’t sit back doing nothing. The people need to know. They need to know.
Day 195: Word comes that General Murphy himself may come to speak to us personally! How this will lift our spirits!
Day 197: No sign of the General. Some of the more cynical say that the General isn’t even a real person. That Papa Murphy is simply a conglomerate logo created when a branch of the Papa John’s Pizza Company took over Father Murphy’s Incorporated. Have they never heard of an alias? A man as hunted as General Murphy must constantly reinvent himself.
Day 204: There was a Pizza Hut raid on one of our safe houses during a meeting. They knew right when to strike. Someone tipped them off. I was supposed to be there but was delayed. I must continue the fight for my fallen Take ‘N Bake brothers and sisters.
Day 208: Tomorrow we strike! It will be most glorious! The days of oppressive, hegemonic deliveragarchy are over! The unending agony of “self-baking” fringe dwellers will know joy at last! I know the Little Caesar’s controlled media will print that we are monsters but history will speak the truth of this revolution. Someday they will write songs of our courage.
Day 209: Failure. Catastrophe. The Domino’s Militia pounced on us in under thirty minutes of our launching our offensive. We are scattered; wounded. But our spirits are strong. We shall emerge from this even grander. For, there is still tomorrow. And as we all know, pizza is always better the next day.