Resolution #14: Come Up With More Clever Blog Post Titles

December 27, 2012

Humor

Resolutions For 2013

1. Eat entire sandwich, get “I finished the Heart-Buster” shirt and face of Wall Of Fame.

2. Finish “Resolutions For 2012” (note to self – probably exclude #3: Finish “Resolutions For 2011”)

3. Learn in-laws’ names.

4. Read every blog on the Internet and leave thoughtful comments daily.

5. Learn to slow down and live in the moment.

6. Do more of everything and do it all better.  A lot better.

7. Take in car for maintenance, or at least buy new black tape to cover the Check Engine light.

8. Quit smoking (note to self: will need to start smoking)

9. Be ninth caller, win concert tickets.

10. Been to paradise (Resolutions For 2007, # 4), but never been to me.

11. Figure out what these Eye Pods are that everyone’s been talking about.

12. Stop falling for every goofball apocalypse prediction that comes along.

13. Stop paying ridiculous rental interest rates and finally buy own toothbrush.

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About The Byronic Man

Recently voted "The Best Humor Blog in America That I, Personally, Write," The Byronic Man is sometimes fiction, sometimes autobiography. And sometimes cultural criticism. Oh, and occasionally reviews. Okay, it's all those different things, but always humorous. Except on the occasions that it's not. Ah, geez. Look, it's a lot of things, okay? You might like it, is the point.

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71 Comments on “Resolution #14: Come Up With More Clever Blog Post Titles”

  1. Eagle-Eyed Editor Says:

    A worthy list! I’m starting mine soon (now where did I put that notepad?).

    Reply

  2. Michael Says:

    I’m puzzled over the Eye Pads myself.

    Reply

  3. on thehomefrontandbeyond Says:

    ha ha ha – I am going to make so many resolutions for 2013 that I will just have to fulfill some of them–I think I may start with buying my own toothbrush – thanks for this hit of comedy

    Reply

  4. Tori Nelson Says:

    My too-skinny sister is making a resolution to QUIT the YMCA. I’m trying my hardest to make a resolution not to hate her.

    Reply

  5. mistyslaws Says:

    Owning is highly overrated. Sharing is caring, I say. Might want to make a note to add to your 2014 list: Take daily antibiotics. You’ll thank me later.

    Reply

  6. 1pointperspective Says:

    #28. Stop and smell the roses
    #29. Remember to plant roses

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I have a rose-smelling app that lets me smell the roses without ever having to slow down, much less stop. It’s just as life-affrming without any wasted minutes! I’ve also got the “sitting here watching the world go round and round” app. By using them both, I can multi-task my leisure.

      Reply

  7. renée a. schuls-jacobson Says:

    Wanna jump off the fiscal cliff with me? We can hold hands. ;)

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I had to stop paying attention to that whole thing – I know it’s a big deal, but there’s so much media hoop-jumping and political air-bagging that I had to stop. Just say when to jump and I’m ready.

      Reply

      • renée a. schuls-jacobson Says:

        Actually, truth be old, I thought we had already fallen off the cliff. Seriously, how can we have so much debt and even be hanging on to that branch that is sticking out of the cliff. I think it snapped a long time ago. This is all phoney-baloney.

        Reply

  8. speaker7 Says:

    I think 4, 5 and 6 are especially doable. If I could suggest an addition? Solve all problems.

    Reply

  9. pegoleg Says:

    5 and 6 might be in conflict.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      I realized after I left town that it’s kinda sorta stolen from a joke from the 1984 movie Fletch. Someone asks Chevy Chase if he owns rubber gloves and he replies, “I lease, actually, with an option to buy.”

      Do you think I might be overly-concerned about joke-theft?

      Reply

  10. Ms. PC Says:

    Those smokers have it so easy when it comes to resolutions.

    Reply

  11. My Inner Chick Says:

    Great list.

    I am finding number 4 quite impossible! X

    Reply

  12. Life in the Boomer Lane Says:

    Great list. I’ve always had #6 nailed. This year I will add “Be humble about it.”

    Reply

  13. becca3416 Says:

    Number 4 seems pretty much doable.
    Numbers 8 and 11 – gold.

    Reply

  14. Angie Z. Says:

    Fantastic list! I have never made a New Year’s resolution. It’d probably end up like my job review goals I have to make every year….which I make and then forget about until my next job review in October.

    Reply

  15. pithypants Says:

    #15 Floss at least one tooth per day.

    Reply

  16. Elyse Says:

    13 goals, Bryonic? 13? Doesn’t that mean that the world will end when you keep the 13th?

    Oh.

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      Theres actually 2,013 of them. I like to make one resolution for every year. It’s a daunting task, but thank God I’m not Chinese!

      (Because it’s, like, 4709 or something in the Chinese calendar. Not because I have anything against the Chinese. Just to clarify.)

      Reply

  17. Laura Says:

    I kind of like the idea of a Goofball Apocalypse. Someone should make a prediction about it, or maybe a musical.

    Reply

  18. She's a Maineiac Says:

    Number FOUR! yes! I will never get there–but I have hope. I fpeople would just stop blogging for two damn seconds.

    Oh, and number 6. But I’m thinking it would be even better if I could have someone else do everything better for me.

    Reply

  19. scarletloser Says:

    I have #10 on my eye pod.

    Reply

  20. winopants Says:

    Brilliant, I’m so going to start smoking on the 31st with the intention of quitting the next day. The glow of accomplishment will be mine

    Reply

  21. The Bumble Files Says:

    Excellent list. I’m going to steal #4-6 if that’s ok. And, good luck with this. We can all feel like failures on Jan 2nd together.

    Reply

  22. List of X Says:

    The best New Year’s resolution is to not make any New Year’s resolutions. But it’s one of the hardest goals to achieve.

    Reply

  23. becomingcliche Says:

    Thanks for #10. Now that song is stuck in my head, along with the shameful knowledge that I bought that 45 as a kid.

    Reply

  24. Lori Lipsky Says:

    Good luck with the whole Eye Pod thing. You’re gonna love it!

    Reply

  25. benzeknees Says:

    I had lots of eye pads as a child (5 eye operations in 5 years) – not the kind of eye pad thing you were looking for?

    Reply

  26. stephrogers Says:

    I’m going to borrow numbers 2, 9 and 10. I am also planning on buying a new pen and using it all the way to the end. I have never done that before. It will be huge achievement.

    Reply

  27. Maria Says:

    #3 is priceless – made me spit my drink, thankfully it was water.

    Reply

  28. Valentine Logar Says:

    A resolution I can actually attempt and perhaps fulfill!

    Learn in-laws names.

    Reply

  29. MissQ Says:

    I’ve been forgetting to buy a new toothbrush for like three months.
    Every time I use my toothbrush, I’m all “Ew! Today is the day!”
    But it’s not! *sob

    Reply

    • The Byronic Man Says:

      And you never think there’s that big of a difference until you get the new one, and suddenly the old one seems like an overcooked piece of asparagus you’ve been trying to clean your teeth with.

      Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    [...] The Byronic Man – because you can’t love Jules (above) and not love her writing partner, the B-man. They go together like…ra-ma-la-ma-lama ga-ding-ga-da-ging-da-dong. Together forever like… aw, you get the point. Also, he’s my token dude. [...]

  2. My 2013 Conflict Resolutions | My Dating Prescription - December 31, 2012

    [...] Then, I received The Byronic Man’s post over at A Clown on Fire. When it comes to blogging resolutions, The Byronic Man is actually an overachiever. This is his second post on resolutions in the last four days…that we know of…he may be traveling around the internet writing resolution in other places still yet to be discovered. He first list of resolutions can be found here. [...]

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