Now that Disney has purchased LucasFilm for 4 billion dollars and announced the planning of indefinite new Star Wars installments, everyone’s wondering what they have in mind. Basing things off of the books that have been written, or will they go in new directions? Well, in a Byronic Man exclusive, I am pleased to present, for the first time, the blueprints for the next 14 years of the new Disney-fied Star Wars!
2015 – Episode VII: Return Of The Big-Eyed Princess
2016 – TV Series: The Short-Round – Jar Jar Binks, Horrible Stereotype variety hour!
2018 – Episode VIII: Attack of the Talking Utensils (featuring original music by Sir Elton John)
2018 – Afternoon cartoon: Baby Fett: The Littlest Bounty Hunter
2019 – Grand Opening of “Death Star Trash Compactor: The Amusement Park Ride”
2020 – Episode IX: Somebody’s Mom Gets Killed At The Beginning
2020 – Album: Star Wars Theme Music Karaoke
2021 – Star Wars: Han Solo jr. and the Wackiest Space Race! (straight-to-video release)
2021 – Ewoks: The Battle For Endor 2
2022 – Star Wars: Jedi Summer Camp (straight-to-video release)
2022 – Episode X: Would Anyone Notice If This Thing Was Just Suddenly All Talking Animals?
2022 – Album – Jedi Summer Camp: Original music by the original cast!
2024 – Episode XI: Just A Bunch of Light Sabers and Johnny Depp And, I don’t Know, Nathan Lane?
2026 – Episode XII: Return of the Return of the Jedi