As many of you may know, my wife and I will be having a baby soon. Very soon. Now, I’m planning to simply run older posts – especially older posts that basically no one who didn’t have the same last name as me saw – a couple days a week for the first little while, as I suspect I may be a tad busy. The best part of the plan is that you still have to read or it’s like you don’t support me as a parent and don’t like my baby!
But maybe… there’s another way… Maybe you think you’d like to take the reins here and blog-sit. Be a Byronic Pro-Tem. Could be. Could be. Well, if so, simply fill out the short application/psyche profile below, and we’ll see you at the interview!
1. You’re writing a post about needing a vacation. You decide to include the following photo – which caption would you use?
- A) Hello. I am taking a vacation on a beach that appears to be on fire.
- B) Man, it feels great to get away from the smelting plant!
- C) Sure, it’s a flaming hell-scape. But you know what? No meetings.
- D) Other…
2. Rate your willingness to insert obscure, virtually random Simpsons quotes into a post, knowing full well that – if it’s a good day – 2 people will get it.
- A) Not very willing. I think it’s more respectful remember the interests of the audience.
- B) The Simpsons? You mean, like, “Don’t have a cow” and that stuff?
- C) “Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t quit. You go in there every day and do it really half-assed!”
3. Can you be committed to reading other people’s blogs each day and leaving witty, insightful comments? If so, can you please do a better job than I do?
4. How are you at showing half of your face?
5. The plants will need watering 3 times a week. What do you mean, “What plants?”?
6. Hypothetically: someone leaves a comment you find distasteful. Do you…
- A) Remove it. This is a welcoming environment.
- B) Leave it. I may not like it, but it’s a free speech zone and I don’t get to decide who gets to say what.
- C) Leave it! A comment’s a comment! Anything to make the site look impressive!
- D) Leave it, but edit the comment so instead it says something insane and/or psychologically confessional.
7. What’s your feeling on high-fiving? It’s not strictly connected to blogging; I’m just curious.
- A) LOVE IT. Up Top!
- B) They seem a bit over done. Is ordering the same appetizer as someone else at the table really reason to high-five?
- C) I don’t like them, but I won’t refuse one.
- D) Ew, germs.
8. What changes would you make to the site, if it was yours? Why? No, I mean really: Why would you make changes? You don’t like my site? Why not? Jeez, man; harsh.
9. What previous blog usurping experience do you have (including guest posts, blog-sitting, hacking, comment-trolling and piracy)?
10. You’re having trouble coming up with something to write about, so you…
- A) Let it go. The world won’t end if I don’t post ’til another day.
- B) Just update people on my day.
- C) Try one of those prompt-banks.
- D) Collapse in a fit of self-loathing, fueled by angrily declaring that “This is it. I’m done. That’s all I had in me.” Try to force creativity to the brink of filling an eyeball with blood.
11. If a post wasn’t getting as much attention as you felt it deserved, would you be averse to going door-to-door to promote it?
12. If needed, would you be able to come up with a twelfth question, so as not to end on 11 which, for some reason, just feels “off”?