First order of business: Just a note on Neil Armstrong’s passing away – what an amazing human being, not just because he was the first person to walk on an extra-terrestrial surface, but because by all accounts he was an incredibly decent, honorable, intelligent, hard-working person. He was, in other words, exactly the sort of person who warrants being elevated to the status of pioneer and hero.
Second order of business: The winner of last week’s poll, regarding what story you’d most like to see retold in a new setting – Angelique Jamall made an impressive win with “Hamlet done with Robots”! There was a lot of love, also, for “Pulp Fiction with an Amish cast,” but Robot Hamlet carried the day. People love the classics, I guess. Although a Hamlet/Pulp Fiction mash-up would be pretty great, wouldn’t it?
“And you will know my name is Prince of Denmark, when I lay my vengeance down upon thee!”
“Is there a sign on my house that says ‘Dead Yorick Storage Facility?”
“Say ‘wherefore’ again! I dare you! I double-dog dare you, mother-f***er!”
And so on…
Third order of business: Thanks to everyone who contributed and read last week’s epic “Choose Your Own Adventure.” I know the entries were longer than normal – I tried, OH how I tried to edit them down further – so good job seeing it through.
The hardest thing really was the editing. A couple of my favorite moments that I had to cut:
- When they first flee the Fortune Telling shop, Bonkers says, “Yay! We’re going for a ride in the car!”
- In the final installment (which was abut twice as long in the original draft), there was a large section in which Pragyawati returns, and winds up stalling the manatee cult people to buy time. They want to kill her and she pulls a Jedi Mind Trick on them by saying, “You can’t kill me. I’m a Hindu cow; we’re sacred.” ”But… but I’m not Hindu.” “Right, but I am. So I’m sacred.” ”I don’t think that’s how… because… what?”
- Also in the final installment, in the finale, Phil the tour guide wanders in saying, “Hey, you cultists, and manatees, and federal agents, and other cultists, and Victorian ghost, and beagle, and girl who ripped my heart out, and pie delivery guy… you’re not supposed to be in here.”
- The most disappointing part, for me, was the insertion of the line “Hey, baby, what’s your super-power?” All the other lines and items that got voted in, I felt, worked in rather nicely. That one, though, was attached to a particularly lascivious cultist who keep hitting on Maxine the whole time, but that got cut out, and so it’s re-working now feels rather obviously forcibly inserted into the text. Boooo me.
Final order of business: The Question of the Week! Which is a two-fer this week! Because I’m hoping for a couple of things:
2. A while back, I wrote an advice column post called “Ask Sexy Stalin.” It might be the weirdest thing I’ve ever written. So, of course, I thought I’d do another one! So, what relationship, career, or life advice would you like to ask Sexy Stalin? A sampling of questions will be featured in the upcoming post!