I met someone at a Barnes & Noble cafe earlier. The person in front of me in line made the terrible, terrible error of trying to use a Starbucks gift card and was laid waste by the disdain and ire of the barista.
“Uhmuhguhd. We’re not a Starbucks, ungkay? We’re a Barnes & Noble cafe, featuring Starbucks coffee served in Starbucks cups, Starbucks pastries, Starbucks specialty drinks as displayed on these giant Starbucks posters, all served on Starbucks napkins. But as you can plainly see from this 4×6 inch placard on the cash register, we are not a Starbucks.”
I understand that they must get tired of explaining that 25 times a day, but it isn’t that 25 complete idiots come in every day. Madam barista, you’re irritation is probably a skosh misdirected. A tad inflated.
Maybe it’s the heat, but people seem awfully testy lately. So, being a civic minded individual, concerned for the happiness and welfare of my fellow human beings, I showed the barista your captions for this weeks Weekly Question of the Week! Every single one! And any she didn’t laugh about, I explained until she did. Oh, you should have seen the look on her face! And the people in line behind me? They just got more and more excited the more I showed her the captions. It was a magical, magical 28 minutes. I think it’s safe to say she completely forgot about that pesky Starbucks gift card.
As usual, there was caption gold in them thar hills of the Internet. I’d actually suggest just going back and reading all of them, but until then, enjoy these finalists, and be sure to vote!
And finally, speaking of birds, the winner of last week’s finalists for the best lame hobby, was Jennifer Vaughn, who counts birds at her bird feeder! (To be fair, it’s for science. Nerdy, nerdy science.) There’s no reason to think she does so in the voice of The Count from Sesame Street, but there’s also no specific evidence that she doesn’t, so let’s all picture that. (“TWO! Two finches! Ah! Ah! Ah!”) Congratulations, Jennifer, on you contributions to posterity, and being my blogger of the week! Please take a moment to visit Jennifer’s site – she counts birds for Cornell in her spare time. You can’t tell me she doesn’t sound like an interesting person. Jennifer, as blogger of the week, your trophy is being sculpted and your Starbucks gift card is in the mail, redeemable at any Barnes & Noble Cafe.