The other night I had this dream – no wait, come back! I promise it doesn’t go on and on. So, in this dream, I’m with my two best friends and we see George Lucas. We get very excited and give ourselves a little pep talk: yes, we don’t like all the revisions and additions and mutations he’s inflicting on the Star Wars films, but – we remind each other – he’s still the architect of the most important films of our childhoods. A midwife to our young imaginations.
We go over to him and tell him all these things and he says, “Wow, that’s great, thanks! Well, you’ll be really excited, because I’m just finishing up a new re-mastered version of the original film, only we’ve added a fire-breathing dragon!” Then he starts going on about how realistic it looks, and we start murmuring to each other about how we should handle this. Do we say anything? Do we act excited?
So, first off, yes, this is the sort of thing I apparently dream about.
But then I started thinking about how a version of Episode IV with a fire-breathing dragon could be pretty great. Like the scene when Han chases the stormtroopers down the passage of the Death Star, and then comes running back, only instead of the stormtroopers behind him, it’s a big, snorting dragon? Or the attack on the Death Star? “I’ve got a dragon on my tail!” “Stay on target…” “There’s fire everywhere!” “Stay on target…”
Then I really got thinking – thinking about all the movies that might benefit from the addition of a fire-breathing dragon. Really, you take any boring scene, have a dragon walk in? This scene just got interesting.
Twilght? “Oh, sparkly vampire, I love you so much it makes me sulk.” “What about me, the werewolf, and my abs? Don’t you love me?” “I suppose, but I—“ “GRRRAAWWWRRR!!!” *FOOOOOOM* All dead. Roll credits.
The King’s Speech? “Curse this socially non-threatening disability that afflicts me during a historically significant era. I must conquer this problem, for perhaps it my speech that will make the difference between survival, and being destroyed by Hitler’s dragons.”
Gandhi? “British imperialists, I will not fight you. I believe in non-violence. Ghidrah here, on the other hand…”
In fact, the real question is what movie might not be improved by the addition of a dragon. So what do you think? For this week’s Weekly Question of the Week: What movie would you most like to see a fire-breathing dragon added to?