A couple of bloggers have been kind enough to name me for the Versatile Blogger award. (That’s why I’ve been in absentia for a few days now – I was at the awards ceremony in Copenhagen. Well, I assumed there was an awards ceremony, and that it was in Copenhagen, but couldn’t seem to find it. I also tried Ibiza and Amsterdam, but no ceremony. I will keep looking.)
Now, I don’t totally know what the Versatile Blogger Award is, but I’m going to assume it’s the single most prestigious award on the planet, as I have no specific evidence proving otherwise – nor would I be willing to acknowledge such evidence. Has Bono received the Versatile Blogger award? No, he has not. Nelson Mandela? He wishes. Jane Goodall? Well, maybe her. She’s got those chimps wrapped around her little finger.
I’m hoping it comes with something I can wear around so people know – you know, like when you win the Olympics you get that olive crown, or if you win the Masters in golf you get a sports jacket, or if you win a Nobel Prize you get a pair of galoshes.
In any case, apparently there are rules involved. The thing is, I am a brooding, ruggedly handsome rebel, so I balk at your “rules,” man. However, I also like getting praise and approval, so I will follow them. I may, however, break one just to remind the world of my bad-assery. But not one that might make people like me less. So, it involves thanking the nominators, listing blogs you’ve read recently, and then listing some things about yourself.
Part one is to thank the person/people who… what… nominated me? Bestowed this upon me? I don’t know. So, easy. Thank you very kindly to two bloggers who are renowned throughout the Internet for their wit, kindness and good taste, Midsummer Dreams And Winter Tales and JB Maddawg. It’s very thoughtful of you to not only know who I am, but to have positive associations with me.
Second, is to mention 15 blogs I’ve enjoyed recently. This one’s really tough, and not just because of having to put in 15 links. This one almost by definition involves not listing someone, then realizing it later, and feeling like I forgot to invite them to my birthday party. I have to be honest, the temptation to just list, say, 15 blogs about government conspiracies to cover up aliens is almost unbearable, just because I think it’d be funny to suggest that that’s all I read; but, I also can’t deny the opportunity to promote people I’ve read and enjoyed lately. So here they are, in no particular order (unless the order makes you happy, then pretend there’s an order).
- Go Guilty Pleasures - Humor site. Fresh, very funny, and just so damned likable.
- Japecake - After reading his humor site I frequently angrily mutter, “I should’ve thought of that…”
- Cassie Biehle - Humor blog, sometimes autobiographical, sometimes pie charts, and proof of life in Nebraska
- The Martini Chronicles - Autobiographical – lots or dating, booze and the occasional mammogram.
- Girl on the Contrary - Funny, sharp, charming… you know what? Don’t read hers. I might not hear from you again.
- Blogdramedy - Sharp observational humor, the occasional political rant. If you like “moxie,” you’ll like Blogdramedy.
- H.E. Ellis - Very clever writing from a very interesting person
- Lessons From Teachers & Twits - Title kind of says it all. Reflections on wisdom gained through parenting and teaching.
- K8edid - Travel writing, humor, photography.
- Pithypants - Extremely clever blogger; personal and funny.
- Deborah, The Closet Monster – Very sincere, well-written blog. Largely autobiographical. Some Comic-con, some parenting, some Buffy references.
- Brainrants - Lots of funny reflections on the life of a career soldier.
- Opinions Expressed May Be Incorrect - Way too prolific. Lots of off-the-cuff humor and observations or rural life.
- Gow - Humor writing and writing about humor
- She’s A Maineiac - Humor on living in Maine and parenting. Now into vlogging. Very cutting edge stuff. Ayuh.
- Truthspew - Lots of short bursts or moments out of his life. Well, kind of a spew of truth.
What’s that? That’s 16, you say? Was I not supposed to do that? Pa-chew! Rebel time! Your cage has been rattled! Your machine has been raged against! Oh man, sometimes I even shake up my own world. Will nothing tame me?
Seven things about myself. Hm.
- I was born without a torso. My head, neck, arms & legs are all proportionate to a 6’ tall male, yet I’m only 3’ 8” because of my lack of torso.
- I sometimes use humor to deflect revealing personal things about myself. It can get pretty irritating, actually.
When I was a kid, I thought that hills were covering dinosaur fossils. I planned to push back the dirt when I grew up and reveal them, and become a very famous archeologist.
- The very first paid stand-up comedy gig I had was as the opening act for a Diversity Festival. Not a humor festival – just… a festival. Poetry. Interpretive Dance. Confessional speeches. Apparently, someone decided to start things off with “White Male.” “Hey everyone, thanks for coming, let’s get things started with some comedy; please welcome to the stage: The Reason We’re All So Angry!” clap clap clap. “Hey, thanks, what a great crowd! It’s terrific to be here! I just flew in from oppressing minorities, and boy are my arms tired!” I was not a huge hit.
I love The Simpsons. If I were in a conversation with a like-minded soul, and we just sat there throwing out quotes from the first 10-seasons or so, I genuinely cannot imagine what would happen to make me tire of the conversation. Dehydration, perhaps.
- I’ve recently started taking guitar lessons. If you have a band that plays songs very slowly, and you need a guitarist who can only play 5-bar blues and a few chords (Not F. I believe the f-chord is purely theoretical, and cannot actually be played), I’m your guy.
- I really, really like it and feel deep appreciation when people notice something I’ve written and enjoy it. And if they’re compelled to point it out? I’m beside myself.